by Lucy Lennox
Bennett’s eyes widened at the move and I smiled up at him, trying desperately to keep my eyes dry long enough to get the words out.
“Benny, I have loved you for twenty-five years. Not a day has passed that I haven’t known deep down in the center of my soul that you were the best thing that ever happened to me. When I’m with you, I feel whole. Happy, and free, and loved beyond measure.”
Bennett’s free hand came up to his mouth, and the hand I was holding tightened in mine before I continued.
“When I stood on this spot a year ago, all pissed off and stubborn about you showing up, I didn’t realize that my anger was really a stark, all-consuming fear. I was terrified about so many things— me beginning to need you again, you rejecting me again, hell, even the two of us no longer having that special connection.
“What I didn’t realize then is that none of those things were even possible. I always needed you. Me needing you couldn’t start again because it never stopped. You couldn’t reject me again when you never really rejected me in the first place. And it’s not possible for the two of us, with what we have and what we’ve shared, to lose our special connection.”
I reached into my pocket for the ring I’d been carrying for a month, just waiting for the perfect time to give it to him.
“I love you so much, Benny. More than these mountains— more than the sun in the sky and the very air around us. I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”
I took a deep breath. “Bennett Crawford, will you do me the honor of becoming my husband and making all of my dreams come true?”
A sob escaped him as he nodded and collapsed into me, wrapping his arms around my neck and kissing me on the lips. My mouth reveled in the feel of Bennett’s lips and tongue against mine, and we kissed for several moments before pulling away and locking eyes.
“That’s a yes?” I said with what was surely a stupid grin on my face.
“Of course that’s a yes,” he said, wiping tears off his face with the heel of his palm. His other arm stayed tight around the back of my neck. “I love you so much, Xander. I never want to be apart from you again as long as I live.”
“Then will you wear this ring so Aiden will stop fucking flirting with you?” I held up the band on the tip of my index finger and grinned at him.
Bennett barked out a laugh and took the ring, sliding it reverently onto his finger and staring at it with his own goofy grin on his face.
“Like a little old ring will stop Aiden from flirting with anything that moves,” he muttered.
I reached out to tilt his chin up so I could look at his beautiful, happy face before breaking into the Platters song I hadn’t been able to get off my mind since buying the ring.
“With this ring, I promise I’ll always love you…”
“Oh god,” Bennett groaned. “Two can play at that game, you know.”
“Bring it, sweet cheeks,” I said. “Hit me with your best shot,” I sang.
“If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it…” he crooned as we grabbed our packs.
“Dude, I did,” I said with a fake pout. “And now I’m going to the chapel and I’m gonna get maaaarried…”
Bennett rolled his eyes and grabbed my hand. “Is it too late to change my mind about the marrying thing?”
“Should I say I’m sorry? Because I’m not, really.”
“Nah, it’s too late to apologize. It’s tooo laaaate.”
“Fuck, okay.” I pulled our joined hands up to brush a kiss on the back of his. “Let’s stop before you start singing MmmBop.”
“Motherfucker. I can’t believe you just did that. The joke’s on you, asshole. I’m going to be singing MmmBop for a week.”
“Serves you right. My job here is done,” I said as I squeezed his hand, and we moved forward on the trail.
Together.
The End
Make sure to check out the next page to get a sneak peek of Aiden’s story!
Sneak Peek
Aiden
“Aiden!”
I opened my mouth to tell him I was coming, but a crashing wave sent me under the water and I choked as seawater attempted to fill my lungs. Muscles burning, I dove under the wave and fought the current that threatened to return me to shore.
“Aiden!” was the first thing I heard the second my head cleared the water. I sucked in a breath and jerked my head in every direction, hoping against hope I could somehow see better in the darkness. It was only by some miracle that I saw the outline of flailing arms in between swells.
“I’m coming!” I managed to cry out. “Don’t fight the current!”
Terror infused my blood, giving me more strength, and I plowed through the water. As another wave tumbled down on me, I dove fast and deep, but when I came up, it wasn’t the open sea I was in anymore. And the darkness of night had given way to daylight.
“Aiden, help!”
I knew that voice.
“Bennett?” I yelled in confusion as I whipped my head around to find my best friend. I flailed as I fought against the raging river I was caught in. Muddy water churned and slapped me in the face as I tried to maintain my equilibrium. “Bennett, where are you?!” I shouted.
God, please let him be on shore. I can’t lose him too.
“Aiden,” Bennett called, but his voice was much softer… weaker. I shouldn’t have been able to hear it, considering how loud the water was. But it was like Bennett was right next me.
Only he wasn’t.
“I’m coming,” I told him, though I knew it wasn’t true.
I couldn’t reach him if I couldn’t fucking find him!
“I’m sorry, Aiden.”
“NO!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. Because I knew what those words meant. I’d been hearing them for seventeen fucking years. “You hang on!” I demanded.
I would find him. I would save him this time.
Energy surged through my blood, and I managed to reach out and grab a branch from a stationary log along the riverbank. I dragged myself up enough to keep from going under and frantically searched for Bennett.
And then I saw him. Just a few dozen feet ahead of me. His dark hair was bobbing in the water, disappearing beneath it occasionally as he fought the current.
“Bennett, I’m here!” I shouted. I held onto the branch and drifted as far out into the current as I could without letting go. “Grab my hand!”
But he floated right past me, his hand just a few feet from my outstretched one. Time slowed down as his green eyes met mine briefly and I saw the words he couldn’t say.
“NO!” I screamed as I let go of the branch and made a lunge for him. “Stay with me, Bennett!” I begged as a sob caught in my throat. Frustration tore through me as my fingers brushed his, but he didn’t try to grab onto them. His blank eyes held mine for a moment before the water took him under.
I raged at him, the water, the world, and then surged forward with every last bit of energy I had left. The water clawed at me, but I fought it. A voice in my head told me to just let go… that it would be easier if I did. That there’d be no pain, only peace.
I knew that voice.
Better than I knew my own.
And god, I wanted to go to it. I wanted to feel those arms wrap me in warmth and welcome me home.
“No,” I whispered. “Bennett… need to save Bennett.”
I let out one final scream and pushed forward with everything I had. My fingers closed around something cold and firm beneath the water, and I pulled as hard as I could. I fought the water for several long seconds before it gave up its hold on Bennett and his body hit mine. Wrapping my arms around him, I quickly turned him over, mindless of the fact that we were still caught in the river’s unforgiving current.
It didn’t matter. We were together. I’d gotten to him in time. Everything would be okay now.
But when I turned his motionless body over, it wasn’t Bennett’s face I saw.
It was my own.
I jo
lted awake as I gasped for air, almost as if my lungs really were waterlogged. But instead of being trapped in a raging, swirling river somewhere in the heart of Colorado, I was sitting in my own bed in my posh apartment in Manhattan. My sheets were soaking wet, and I realized it was because I was sweating like crazy. My breath was still coming in ragged spurts as I grabbed my phone off my nightstand. I hit the speed dial button and put the phone to my ear. My fingers were shaking so badly I could barely hang onto the phone.
It was a dream, I reminded myself.
It was just a fucking dream.
The phone rang over and over again, and every second that passed sent my fear higher and higher.
“Pick up,” I demanded. “Pick up!”
Just when I was certain it was going to go to voicemail, I heard a sleepy voice say, “Hello?”
“Bennett?” I whispered, even as the relief began to flood my system all at once.
“Aid?” Bennett said. There was a shuffling sound, and I heard another voice in the background.
Xander… Bennett’s boyfriend. “It’s Aiden,” Bennett said. To me, my friend groused, “Dude, it’s the middle of the night.”
I glanced at the clock and saw that it was just after three in the morning. Fuck, I hadn’t even thought about what time it was. All I’d cared about was knowing my friend was okay… that it really had been a fucked-up dream.
“What’s wrong?” Bennett asked. “Are you okay?”
“Uh, yeah,” I said as I scrambled to think of something to explain the call. “I… I…”
“Jesus, Aid, tell me you’re not drunk dialing me again. Who’s the guy?”
“No one,” I quickly said. “Just that bouncer from Club Red,” I lied. “He is a screamer like we thought,” I added.
I could practically see Bennett rolling his eyes at me. “You think you can save the Who Did Aiden Fuck Last Night show for another time?”
My chest felt tight as I nodded and murmured, “You bet. Tell Ranger Rick to fuck you back into oblivion.”
“Ass,” Bennett muttered, but I heard the humor in his voice.
“Night, Bennett.”
“Hey, Aid?”
“Yeah?”
“You sure you’re okay?”
I felt the backs of my eyes stinging, but I managed to stem the tears. Tears were for the weak. “My ears are still ringing but the screamer can suck cock-”
Bennett hung up on me before I could finish my sentence. My phone buzzed a second later with a text.
Ass. Night. Talk to you tomorrow.
I smiled and put the phone down before climbing out of bed. I knew there was no way I was going to be able to get back to sleep, so I took a shower and changed into a pair of sweats and a T-shirt. I grabbed my running shoes, phone, and earbuds and left the building, nodding at my doorman as I went. I spent the next two hours running through Central Park.
Once I got back to my apartment, I worked out for another hour in the building’s gym, and only then felt settled enough to try to get on with my day. I took my time showering and getting dressed before going to my computer to pull up the file on the potential client I was meeting with this morning. The guy was an up-and-coming star quarterback for the New York Jets, and signing him would be a coup for the PR firm I ran with my older brother, Chase. While we were doing relatively well, considering our business was still in its infancy, signing a client like Roger “The Rocket” Flynn would put us in a whole new stratosphere, and the potential new business we could garner would be astronomical.
I spent the next hour studying the detailed file I’d put together on the man, and then grabbed my laptop and phone and jammed them into my bag. It took about thirty minutes to fight the morning rush hour traffic and get to my favorite coffee shop. The little specialty cafe was out of my way when it came to getting to my office, but it was worth the extra twenty minutes I had to build into my schedule.
The place was a zoo when I arrived, but that wasn’t unusual. As I entered the door, a man bumped my shoulder coming out. He mumbled a soft apology, but before I could respond, he was hurrying down the sidewalk, and all I saw was a head of dark hair and hunched frame as he dug his hands in his pockets.
Once inside the small space, I got in line and waited until I’d caught the eye of the regular barista working the espresso machine. She sent me a bright smile and nodded her head. Although I couldn’t cut the line, I knew Jenny would have my drink waiting at the register by the time I got up there. I scanned the shop briefly as I began searching my bag for my phone. My eyes fell on one of the few empty tables near the line. A red leather journal was sitting on one of them. As the line slowly moved forward, I waited for the owner to show up to claim it, but when no one did, I reached for it as I passed the table, intending to hand it over to the cashier.
My eyes skimmed over the well-worn journal and caught on the raised initials in the lower right-hand corner.
A.V.
My initials.
The oddity intrigued me and I opened the journal up to skim it for a full name. There was nothing in the front cover so I began flipping to the back cover, but stopped when my eyes caught on a rough sketch. A chill went through my body at the sight of the drawing.
It was of the ocean.
A violent, turbulent ocean with huge waves. I could make out what looked like a small figure drawn into the base of one of the waves. Was it… was it a person, struggling to keep their head above water?
No, it couldn’t be. It was probably just how the artist had shaded the water.
Aiden… I’m sorry.
My nightmare, which I’d worked so hard all morning to forget, came back with a vengeance. My eyes fell to the words written just below the drawing.
Ocean tears slide down my face,
Instead of my own
Which are long gone—
Dried up by the sheer number of times
I’ve taken this dive.
The truth:
It isn’t a dive.
It never was.
It is a push, a shove.
A scrambling for purchase.
A betrayal.
Over and over again,
Into the cold bitter depths
I plunge.
How I forget—
I go to the shore in the sunshine.
Happy, easy, free.
Having forgotten the truth.
That when my toes reach the edge -
Clouds will hover.
Harsh wind will sting.
He will bite.
Black depths.
The fear returns—
Reminding me.
The haunting words rattled me to the core and before I even realized what I was doing, I turned the page and read another entry. My throat closed up as I read about pain and fear that was all too familiar. The world around me ceased to exist as I lost myself in that page, and then the next.
“Morning, Mr. Vale.”
I glanced up at the sound of the cashier’s perky voice and realized I’d made it to the front of the line without even knowing it. “Morning, Emily,” I said with a nod. I pulled my wallet from my pocket and grabbed some cash. Having the journal in my hand made it awkward, and I was reminded that I needed to turn it over to the smiling young woman so it could be returned to the rightful owner when he or she came back for it. But even as I handed the cash over, I couldn’t make myself give her the journal too.
I didn’t know why.
Except I did… and I wasn’t proud of the reason.
“Have a nice day,” Emily preened as she handed me my drink and change. I dropped the change into the tip jar and tried to force myself one last time to hand the journal over. But then my eyes fell on the initials on the cover.
And I stepped away from the counter.
I just needed a little more time with the thing. I’d return it tomorrow, and the owner would never know I’d read it. So where was the harm?
I wanted to snort at the spin I’d put on the w
hole thing. I basically lied for a living, so it was pretty pathetic that I’d decided to take work home with me and start lying to myself.
But that didn’t stop me from leaving the coffee shop, journal in hand.
One more day.
I just needed one more day to feel that connection with the anonymous soul who’d somehow been able to say the things I’d never had the courage to admit… not even to myself.
Afterword
Dear Reader,
We hope you enjoyed Xander and Bennett’s story! Book 2 in our new series will feature Aiden’s story.
As independent authors, we are always grateful for feedback so if you have the time and desire, please leave a review, good or bad, so we can continue to find out what our readers like and don’t like. You can also send us feedback via email at [email protected]
About Lucy Lennox
To sign up for Lucy’s newsletter, please visit www.LucyLennox.com.
To join Lucy’s Fan Group, Lucy’s Lair, on Facebook, visit https://www.facebook.com/groups/2017155708550087/
Connect with me:
www.lucylennox.com
[email protected]
About Sloane Kennedy
Join my Facebook Fan group: Sloane’s Secret Sinners
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1760064160913779/
Connect with me:
www.sloanekennedy.com
[email protected]
Also by Lucy Lennox
The Made Marian Series
(Note: All Made Marian novels are available on Amazon and in Kindle Unlimited and are male/male romances.)
Borrowing Blue
Taming Teddy
Jumping Jude
Grounding Griffin
Moving Maverick
Delivering Dante
The Made Marian Shorts
(Note: All Made Marian short stories are available for free at www.LucyLennox.com)
Brad
Keller
Also by Sloane Kennedy
(Note: Not all titles will be available on all retail sites)
The Escort Series
Gabriel’s Rule (M/F)
Shane’s Fall (M/F)
Logan’s Need (M/M)
Barretti Security Series