His First Crush

by Mj Fields

  I sit down and she follows, wrapping her body around mine. I throw the blanket over us and tuck it in behind her. Her hands, again, end up on my abs, and even though they are cold, it feels like they should be there.

  She smiles at me and shakes her head.

  “What?”

  She grins. “Romantic.”

  I simply shrug. “Just want to experience things with you.”

  “Like looking at stars?” She pushes her head under the blanket and lays it on my chest. “I can’t see them anymore.”

  I laugh as I pull the blanket down, uncovering her eyes. “Better?”

  “Yes, thank you.”

  “Anytime.” I kiss the top of her head and take a deep breath of her, of calm. Then I laugh at myself when I realize I find her, London Fields, calming.

  She looks up. “What’s so funny?”

  “The fact that you make me feel calm.” I laugh again at the irony. “The girl who used to make me insane and irritable and—”

  “Slash Colby Stanford’s tires?” She laughs at me.

  “I will never confirm the accuracy of that allegation,” I tell her.

  She pouts. “Well, I know it was you.”

  “Sorry I may have ruined your big date. Tell me; did you have plans to give him those lips first?”

  She shakes her head, still locking eyes with me.

  “Why?”

  “I always wanted my first kiss from the boy who made me crazy, mouthy, and say things my mom would lecture me about for a good hour afterward.”

  I smile and nod. “Good answer.”

  “It’s the truth,” she asserts, staring at my lips.

  “So, you fantasized about me being your first kiss—”

  Her laugh interrupts me.

  “I wouldn’t say fantasized. I just knew you would.”

  “I won’t even ask how you knew because I realized I always knew you’d be my first crush,” I tell her honestly.

  She rolls her eyes. “You never had a crush on any of those girls you slept with?”

  I shake my head.

  “You’re so full of it, Logan Links.”

  “I knew from the moment you stuck your tongue out at me all those years ago and it sent a pain here that I never felt before.” I put my hand over hers and pull it to my heart. “I knew every time I looked at you that you were nothing like anyone else was to me. I knew, London, that no one else on this planet would ever have the ability to crush me, so I did my absolute best to push you away. Yet that pain in my heart worsened every fucking time something happened to you. That pain worsened every time someone like Matthew or CJ, or fucking Trucker, warned me away from you. I swear it was because they thought you were too good for me. Hell, I felt the same. I tried to fucking dislike you, but that made it even worse. When...” I pause and close my eyes. “I don’t even want to talk about the single most horrific night of my life, but damn, London, that fucking hurt like hell. And still, I couldn’t leave it alone.”

  “I’ll never, ever, ever do that to you again. Ever, okay?”

  “I know that, I do. Jesus L., look what we’ve been through and look where we are. Your first kiss, my first crush. And I am going to be one hundred percent real with you right now. You’ll never have anyone inside you besides me. And yeah, that sounds fucked up and demanding, but I can promise you that I’m never going to let anyone”—again, I press down on her hand that’s still over my heart—“inside me either. Never.”

  She closes her eyes and wraps her arms around me, pushing herself up so her head rests over my heart.

  “I know you’re ready for the next step, pretty, but you need to know I’m ready for forever.”

  “Well, I’m very well-prepared for both.” She smiles as she looks up at me, eyes dancing, and I know damn well she is.

  We sit and look at the stars, neither of us too terribly cold, and neither of us wanting to go in. Just like that, we fall asleep.

  §

  We wake up to, “What the hell are you two doing? It’s fucking freezing out here!” Brody burst out of the door and onto the rooftop.

  London smirks before she opens her eyes. “Still a virgin, Dad.”

  “Well, I’d rather you just fuck and get it out of the way than die of goddamned hypothermia! So, you can stop doing whatever the fuck it is you two are doing up here and get inside.”

  “We fell asleep watching the stars,” she says, smiling at me and holding back her laughter, but none of her sass.

  “And we’re not ready to do so yet,” I tell him, hoping she laughs that belly laugh that I love so much.

  She does.

  As we walk past him, she says, “He keeps telling me not yet, Dad. Not. Yet.”

  “Okay. Jesus, London, I really don’t need to know, okay?”

  She smirks at me as she looks back at him and smiles bigger. “Love you more, Dad.”

  The entire day, she is steps from me as we watch Maddox and Brody do the soundchecks at the Dome. I try to push her toward her friends, knowing damn well it’s important to her.

  “Stop doing that.” She laughs at me.

  “Doing what?”

  “Why not just tie a pork chop around my neck so the other dogs will play with me?”

  “That’s not even funny,” I scold her.

  “Would it be weird if I ask you why you aren’t playing with your football buddies over there?”

  “No, but I’m not a freshman in college. Hell, I’m not in college. I thought I had a best friend in high school. Turns out he’s a dick. But I got Mitch, so maybe you should be more receptive to the idea. Maybe you should find your Mitch.”

  “I found my best friend when I was seven.” She sticks her tongue out at me and crosses her eyes. “I win.”

  Can’t say shit about that. Can’t even try to be mad. Can’t do a damn thing but kiss her.

  With my bottom lip between her teeth, she says, “I have other friends, too. No pork chop required.”

  When she lets go, I catch her lip between mine and suck on it before letting go and telling her, “I don’t want a pork chop. I want you prepared for what forever means.”

  “I’m all set.” She giggles as she walks toward Keeka. “Preparation completed.”

  When I see London stop and tense up, then hug her sister, I walk over to them.

  “Is Leddie okay?”

  “She’s fine.” Keeka wipes away a few tears. “She’s got to be fine, okay? You have to promise that—”

  “Links.”

  I don’t even have to look behind me.

  “You get her home,” I say, handing London my keys.

  “Yeah, of course.”

  When they hurry out the door, I look at Maddox, who is looking at me from off stage. When he gives me a nod, I know he’s got it. Then I turn around and am eyeball to eyeball with Trucker Cohen.

  He smiles and shakes his head, glancing to the side. I glance to make sure he’s not looking at Leddie, Keeka, or London. He’s not. It’s Isabella Steel.

  “Hello again.” She smiles.

  I watch as he looks her over like a fucking meal.

  “Isabella.” I nod. “What can I do for you?”

  “Well, I won’t take up much of your time, but I wanted you to know that Trucker here boxed me on IG after seeing some of the live feed from last night and offered to help raise some money.”

  “That’s great,” I lie, forcing a smile.

  “Said he’d do anything.” She winks at me.

  I have no response, so she continues.

  “He also said, knowing you, you’d do the same.”

  I nod

  “Great.” She smiles. “We’ve decided to do closed bids for the bachelor auctions and have already calculated the numbers. We’re up to twenty-five thousand dollars.”

  “That’s good news. The money will be put to good use.”

  “He and I think that announcing Trucker will be joining his best friend on his date, we could make a minimum of five thousand d
ollars more.”

  “I don’t think—”

  “I insist, brother.” Trucker smiles a big-ass, full of shit smile.

  “Wonderful.” She starts to tap away at her phone.

  “I think keeping them separate will do more,” I say, knowing damn well I couldn’t stomach sitting through a meal with his ass.

  She holds up her phone and smiles. “Already up eight hundred dollars, and it’s been under a minute. See you guys around.”

  And she’s gone.

  “What the fuck are you doing here?” I snap at him quietly so no one hears me.

  He glares at me. “Playoffs are over, bro. I’m here to do my part.”

  “A week ago, you had no intention of doing shit,” I remind him.

  “Seasons over,” he retorts.

  “Huh, I didn’t even watch a game,” I sneer.

  He laughs. “Finally fucking the Fields girl, are you?”

  “She’s none of your damn business.” I ball my fists at my side so I don’t knock his fucking teeth out.

  “Well, she seems to be all up in some business I need to deal with, so how about you back the fuck off, stop giving that little bitch Keeka a fucking shoulder and a place to stay, and let me deal with her?”

  “Call her a bitch one more time and you’ll be shitting teeth.”

  “You fucking them both?” He laughs. “Damn, Links, we had a code. We don’t swap cunt.”

  I draw back to give him what I promised, when my elbow is caught. “Not here.”

  I look to my left and see Maddox.

  “Hey, Maddox, long time no—”

  “Go fuck yourself,” Maddox snaps at him.

  “Wow, you and that little skank have pissed all over my name, haven’t you?”

  “I truly hope for your sake you aren’t talking about one of my sisters,” Maddox growls at him.

  “I haven’t changed that much, man.” Trucker laughs. “I was talking about the little bullshit artist London left with.”

  “Then you are speaking of my sister. One more word, and you’ll be lucky to wake up in time for the fundraiser.”

  “I said—”

  “She’s London’s fucking sister,” I interrupt him, not wanting to hear his fucking mouth again.

  “Stay away from her and her daughter.” Maddox points an inch from his face.

  “Daughter?” He swallows hard.

  “Get the fuck out of here.” I shake my head. “Just fucking go.”

  He takes a deep breath then turns to walk away. I notice him limping, and oddly, I don’t give a fuck.

  When my phone vibrates in my pocket, I answer immediately, thinking it’s London. “Hey, pretty.”

  “Logan?”

  Fuck.

  “Hey, Mom.” I sigh and look at Maddox, who pats my back and walks away.

  I listen to her go on and on about how worried she’s been, but how she talked to Ava and knew I was okay.

  I ask her when she’s going to visit Hope and Chance, and she changes the subject.

  “I’d like to see you, Logan.”

  “Well, you know where I live,” I tell her, watching Trucker chat with the team. Fucking fraud.

  “I’d like you to come here, just you. It’s about the company,” she whispers.

  “Dad’s company?” I snap.

  “Logan, it’s mine, and I’d like to discuss something with you. I need to see you.”

  “I’m a little busy,” I say, trying to hide my annoyance.

  “I understand that, but Logan, every moment counts, right?”

  Fuck.

  §

  Last night was difficult, but true to life, when horrible things happen, good people step forward to help where they can.

  With the two apartments packed elbow to asshole with Ross, Hines, Fields, Links, and London’s roommates’ families, I can’t wait until everyone is in bed. When I can’t even wait that long, I peek in Keeka’s room and see London and Keeka asleep with tear stains on their faces. Lexington is also asleep, nearly lying across them. And Emma, her mother Caroline, Tessa, her mother Maggie, and Josie are trying their best to get Leddie to drink from a bottle so the girls get some sleep.

  When her little face scrunches up, I walk into the room.

  “Mind if I help?” I take her without waiting for an answer, take off my tee-shirt, and sit down. “Okay, baby girl, we’ve done this, you and I, skin to skin, and you are”—I rub the bottle’s nipple across her lip and she latches on—“all good.”

  I watch to make sure she continues.

  “She likes skin to skin contact, don’t you, Leddie Lou?”

  I look up to see all eyes on me, all looking at me like I just cured fucking cancer or saved a dozen puppies.

  Then Josie sighs. “I never thought anything could beat a Links’ ass, but that right there, bare-chested, hard body feeding a baby, is definitely better than an ass.”

  Tessa laughs, Maggie palms her face, Emma closes her eyes, and Caroline looks at me and says, “You remember when you and London have babies—”

  “Mom,” Emma scolds her. “Let’s get through college first, for God’s sake.”

  I laugh. “I promise you, Caroline, when London and I have kids, she won’t be doing it alone.”

  §

  When I wake up, I’m in the same place I was while feeding Leddie.

  “Shit.”

  I jump up, looking for her, freaking the fuck out, thinking I dropped her or worse...Trucker.

  When I look toward the door, I see my dad standing at the window.

  “Go back to sleep, Logan. I got this.”

  I push myself up out of the chair. “My responsibility.”

  “And you’re mine.” He turns and looks at me. “Go to bed.”

  I give him a stern look. He gives it back.

  Resigned, I walk over and kiss her on the head. “Night, Leddie. Night, Dad.”

  §

  I wake in the dark to the smell of bacon, which makes no fucking sense. Who the hell cooks bacon in the middle of the night?

  I reach over to grab my phone and see that it’s nearly noon. “What the fuck?”

  I jump out of bed and run out into the kitchen to see it’s full of all the same women, plus Ava and Jade.

  “Morning, Log—” Ava gasps and covers her mouth in shock.

  Josie laughs. “Well, I guess morning Log is more fitting than morning wood, in this case anyway.”

  “Grandma,” London scolds, palming her face.

  I look down. “Well...fuck.” I sigh, then turn so my back is facing them and walk right the fuck back toward my room.

  “My granddaughter is officially more woman than I.” Josie continues to laugh.

  “She’s a virgin,” Keeka announces.

  “Oh, my God,” London groans.

  “Baby girl.” Josie sighs then laughs again. “I got nothing.”

  “Thank God for that,” Emma whispers.

  Josie laughs again. “What the hell was your mother eating while she was growing that one? Miracle-Gro?”

  Ava laughs, and although it’s good to hear, I immediately want to kick her in the ass.

  I can’t listen to anymore. All I can do is picture London packing a fucking bag and heading home.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  * * *

  Sticks and...

  London

  I insist they take all the food next door and wait for Logan to come back out. When he does, his head is held high as he scans the room before looking back at me.

  “We alone?”

  I nod. “Yeah.”

  “Why didn’t anyone wake me up?”

  “A few people tried but said you swung a massive stick at them.” I shrug, looking down and trying not to laugh. “Now we know better. It wasn’t a stick at all.”

  Within two seconds, he has me lifted over his shoulder, and I’m laughing hysterically.

  “Uncle!”

  “Not gonna work.” Thankfully, there is humor in his voi
ce as he carries me into his room.

  “Aunt?”

  “Funny girl.”

  “Barbra Streisand?”

  To that, he laughs as he throws me on his bed, then stands and looks at me with wonder.

  I smile so big it almost hurts.

  He smirks. “I pictured you packing a bag and running for the hills.”

  “Pft.” I roll my eyes. “Like that little thing is gonna scare me away.”

  He laughs and flops down beside me. “Yet, you were freaking out the other night.”

  “That was before...” I stop and cover my face.

  “Before?”

  “The Brazilian Keeka tricked me into.”

  When he doesn’t say anything, I look over at him. His jaw is slightly open, but then he closes his mouth and swallows hard. “You got—”

  “Plucked, pulled, tormented?” I laugh. “Yeah.”

  He licks his lips, and I can’t stop looking at them. Then he stands up quickly and pulls me up.

  “You need to get the fuck out of here for a bit.”

  I laugh. “What?”

  “No, seriously.” He runs one hand over his head and uses the other to squeeze...his thing. “Just go.”

  “Are you mad?” I ask, knowing he’s not, but I can’t help myself.

  “No, London.”

  “Well, there’s a breakfast plate in the fridge for you.” I smile as I stand here, looking at him.

  He closes his eyes. “If you don’t leave, I’m gonna have you for breakfast.”

  I look at my watch. “Well, I’m well-prepared—”

  Two hands against my ass lift me.

  “Logan!”

  He pulls me harder against his body, and my breath catches when he grinds his erection against me.

  When I look in his eyes, he raises an eyebrow. “You sure about that?”

  I wrap my legs around him and link my hands behind his neck. “I think we can figure out how to make it work.”

  Again, his face drops, and I feel victorious...until he speaks.

  “So, you just want me to throw it in there and fuck you right here, right now?”

  I simply nod, because speaking...well, speaking while I’m in leggings and he’s in running pants, the feeling is even more amazing than the times before first semester ended.

  He sits down on his bed, bringing me hard against him, and a moan escapes my mouth.