“No, he won’t hurt me physically. But he might not want me anymore.”
Rebecca’s stomach clenched. She knew all too well that Sarah could be right, and remembering that kind of pain—being left by a man who she thought loved her, to fend for herself in a city she wasn’t familiar with, sent tears flooding her eyes. She could remember her heart breaking and how desperately alone she’d felt. Being so ashamed she couldn’t face her own family. Now she hurt for what this young woman might face.
“You’ll get through it, Sarah. I promise. But don’t assume the worst yet. It might all turn out far better than you expect. Come now, drink your tea. It’ll do you good. I’m glad you told me.”
“I didn’t know who else to go to. Molly is a friend, but—” she shook her head. “She can’t really help. She warned me about this kind of thing and I didn’t listen to her. Oh, how I wish I had.”
“I understand.” But Rebecca knew wishing couldn’t change the facts and right now she had to help Sarah the best she could.
“There is always an extra room here if you need one.” She patted the younger woman’s hand. “If you need to talk to me, just tell the operator to ring through to Heaton House in Gramercy Park and ask for me.”
For the first time since the evening before, some of the tension seemed to drain out of the young woman and she released a deep sigh. “Thank you, Rebecca. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you being willing to listen to me.”
“You’re welcome. When do you think you’ll be able to talk to the baby’s father?”
“I don’t know. He’s been working on the docks and it could be several days before I see him.”
“I’ll be praying for you, Sarah. And remember this. The Lord is always with you.”
“But I’ve disappointed Him, so. I sinned and—”
“He will forgive you. You need to ask for Him to and let Him guide you through all this. He will.”
Sarah closed her eyes and nodded. “I’ve taken up enough of your time today. I’d best be on my way.”
“I’ll see you at class tomorrow night.”
Sarah nodded. “Yes, tomorrow night.”
Rebecca saw her to the door and gave her another hug. Her heart hurt as she watched the young woman walk away and wished there was more she could do for her. But she knew full well that she was not in control. So she did the only thing she knew would help. She leaned against the door and whispered a prayer.
“Dear God, please be with Sarah right now. Let her know You are near. Please help her to tell those who must be told and I pray the father accepts his responsibility and stands by her. I pray she gives her mother a chance to be there for her and that she doesn’t turn Sarah away. But mostly, I pray for her to turn to You to guide her. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
She went back to the parlor and poured herself another cup of tea before practicing her typing. Sarah’s problems brought her past to the forefront, but she wasn’t going to revisit it. Not now. She’d gotten through it all and she knew that Sarah would, too, with the Lord’s help. However, she’d promised to be there for her and she meant to keep her word.
* * *
Dinner that evening was very enjoyable with everyone looking forward to the new boarders moving in. Rebecca had mentioned Ben’s idea of the sleigh ride to her mother and she’d called Violet to see if they’d like to join them. Violet thought Georgia would love it and so they brought it up at dinner.
“Ben had the best idea for this weekend. Anyone up for an evening sleigh ride?” Rebecca asked.
“I’d love it,” Julia answered. “Have we ever done that as a group?”
“Not since I’ve been here,” Millicent said. “What fun. I want to go!”
“Well an old friend from Virginia is coming to visit Michael and Violet for the weekend and we thought it’d be a nice treat for Jenny and Georgia and us all,” Mrs. Heaton informed them.
“I’m in,” Matt said. “I’m sure a night ride will be quite different. I’ve heard about them, but never been on one.”
The group was more than a little enthusiastic about it, so plans were put in place.
“I’ll reserve us an omnibus,” Ben said.
Jenny was beyond excited and Rebecca found herself looking forward to the outing a great deal. It would be Jenny’s first sleigh ride.
She’d mentioned to Ben and her mother that she wished to speak with them about Sarah after she put Jenny down for the night and she came downstairs to find them both waiting in her mother’s study.
Had Ben not asked her to be a confidante to the woman, she might not have included him, but he had and she knew he cared. As for her mother—if things didn’t work out for Sarah, she might well need a place to stay.
Her mother poured her a cup of tea once she’d taken a seat and she took it gratefully. She’d had Sarah’s troubles on her mind all evening, but she didn’t even know how to begin to tell them about it.
“How was Sarah today? Was she feeling any better?” Ben asked.
Bless him for easing her into it. “No, not really. And she’s not likely to feel much better for the next few months.”
“Oh?”
Rebecca let out a deep breath. “Sarah has gotten herself into trouble. She’s expecting a baby and she hasn’t told the father. She’s afraid that he won’t...be there for her. And if that happens, she’s terrified to tell her mother and—”
“I feared it might be something like that. It’s not the first time it’s happened to one of my students. And I’ve seen a young man hanging around waiting to walk Sarah home.” Ben shook his head. “I’ll be praying he does the right thing.”
“If not, she’ll have a place right here should she need it,” her mother said.
“I knew you’d say that, Mama, and I’ve assured her she would. I just wanted you to be aware it might happen. I’m hoping she has a chance to speak to her young man before class tomorrow evening. Maybe it will all be settled then.”
“I hope so,” Ben said. “Thank you for being here for her, Rebecca. I knew some of these women needed someone to talk to and not everyone is willing to listen—even if they can’t help.”
“I’m glad I could be here for her.” She prayed she’d been of some help. Sarah reminded her so much of herself and it brought back all the devastation and heartbreak of the past. So much so that she was having a hard time sitting here with Ben, knowing he really knew nothing of her life the last few years
And she didn’t dare look at her mother, for she’d most likely see the heartache she’d put her through in her eyes.
“I—”
“You’ve done what you can for now, dear,” her mother said. “I’m very proud of you for trying to help. And we’ll be here for her if she needs us. I just pray the young man in question will stand by her.”
“I did remind her that the Lord was there for her. And I believe she knows that He will get her through. I’m certainly praying she realizes it.”
“I’ll be praying the same,” Ben said. “And if you need me to do anything in this process of helping—just let me know. As a teacher, I do have to be very careful of things and I can’t begin to thank you enough for being willing to listen and advise Sarah from one woman to another. I feel totally inept at knowing what to say in this kind of situation.”
That brought a chuckle from both Rebecca and her mother.
“I think most men would feel the same way, Ben,” her mother said. “It’s not easy to know what to say sometimes, even as a woman.”
“It’s very difficult to know you’ve disappointed loved ones and, most importantly, the Lord,” Rebecca said. “Even when you know He and they have forgiven you—it sometimes remains hard to forgive oneself for inflicting pain on them.”
Mrs. Heaton nodded. “But the Lord wants those He’s forgiv
en to release that guilt they carry and forgive themselves. He wants them to get on with their lives and help others.”
The love shining from her mother’s eyes assured Rebecca that she wanted her to forgive herself and live her life fully. Her love was unconditional—she wanted the best for her daughter, just as Rebecca wanted the best for Jenny.
How could she not have known that from the very beginning? The peace that washed over her came with the realization that her forgiveness from the Lord and from her mother was real. They weren’t taking it back. Suddenly, Rebecca realized that she needed to live as if she were forgiven and quit letting guilt drag her back into her past.
She and her mother smiled at each other. No words were necessary. And while she might need to tell Ben about her past one day, this wasn’t the time or the place.
* * *
Sarah wasn’t in class on Thursday and Rebecca sat by Molly. “Have you seen Sarah this week? Is she still feeling bad?”
“I haven’t seen or talked to her—I’m assuming that she isn’t feeling well, since she’s not here. I’ll try to check on her tomorrow.”
“Thanks, Molly. If she needs anything, will you let me know?”
“I will.” Molly smiled at her and Rebecca felt she would contact her if need be.
She pulled one of the Heaton House cards from her purse. “You can stop by anytime or, if you prefer, you can telephone. Just ask for Heaton House.”
Molly took the card. “I’ll let you know what I find out.”
Ben started class just then and there was no more time to speak. Rebecca tried to concentrate on the problems being worked out on the board, but it wasn’t easy with wondering what was happening with Sarah and then worrying about when she should tell Ben about her past. He’d shared the most painful time in his life with her and for the sake of the growing friendship between them, she wanted to be as open with him as he’d been with her. Still, she didn’t know quite how to go about it and prayed the Lord would let her know what to say and when to say it.
A soft snow was falling as they left the Y, the night was still and quiet and Rebecca quite enjoyed the walk to the café. Ben didn’t even ask if she wanted to stop, but he’d ended class early and there was no need to stand outside to wait for their trolley when they could have a cup of hot chocolate and watch the snow fall from inside the café.
“It’s beautiful out there, isn’t it?” she asked after they gave their order.
“It is. I think we’ll have a great weekend for our sleighing party.”
“I hope so. Have you had a chance to find out about any teaching openings for Georgia?”
“Not yet. I’ve asked around at several high schools—the one I went to and one a friend of mine attended. They both said they wouldn’t know until summer break or later. I’ll check out some of the grade schools, tomorrow.”
“That’s all you can do for now.”
“Seems we’re trying to help others, but we need to wait on the Lord to let us know what to do next,” Ben said.
“That’s true. It’s not always easy to do, is it?”
“No. It’s not.”
Ben took a sip from his cup and looked over the rim. “Is Jenny still excited about going sleigh riding?”
“Oh, yes. She can’t wait. She’s been very good about not being able to skate as much as she wanted to because of my ankle, so I’m very glad we’ve planned the outing.”
“You know, now that you can get around, maybe we could try going skating for an hour or so one afternoon. You wouldn’t have to skate just yet, but you could watch. Perhaps by the time you’re up to it, Jenny will be able to skate by herself.”
“But, Ben, that takes up your free time and—”
“I wouldn’t suggest it if I didn’t want to do it, Rebecca. Besides, I promised Jenny I’d teach her and I don’t intend to break my promise.”
He was such an honorable man and Jenny was becoming fonder of him with each day. He always showed her special attention whenever he saw her. Rebecca wondered if it was wise to put her in a position to let her feelings grow for the man.
But what could she really do about it anyway? They all lived in the same home. Keeping her daughter from being around Ben was near impossible and, besides, it would look odd if she suddenly said no to something that’d been promised to Jenny and that she’d encouraged.
“I’d hate to have you break your promise. And I want Jenny to learn to skate with confidence. I hope one day to get mine back, as well.”
“You will. I’ll make sure of it, once your ankle has completely healed.”
At the thought of skating with him again, Rebecca’s pulse sped up. She’d felt confident and protected when she’d skated beside him. “That’s kind of you.”
“Not at all. I look forward to seeing you skate like you were before you fell.”
His gaze met hers, causing her heart to do some kind of funny spiral dive. Whatever was she going to do about her growing feelings for this man?
Chapter Seventeen
By midmorning Friday, the remodeling was finished and there was a collective sigh of relief when the last worker took his leave.
“Now, no peeking,” Rebecca’s mother said to Gretchen and Maida. “There’s still the decorating to do and I want you to be surprised. Furniture is being delivered this afternoon and once it’s all set up and we’ve added the finishing touches, you’ll be able to see what’s been done.”
“But don’t you need our help?” Gretchen asked.
“I’ll be helping, Mama,” Rebecca said. “I can put more weight on my foot now, and I’ve been going up and down two flights of stairs at the Y. I’ve also snuck up a time or two to see the progress being made on the third floor. It’s going to be beautiful.”
Maida and Greta had been sharing a room at the top of the stairs while a curtain was hung to hide the work being done, but they’d promised not to peek and Rebecca was sure they were very excited to see it all finished.
Not only would there be a sitting room, but her mother was refreshing all the rooms. New wallpaper had been put up in each room and the new bedding she’d ordered had arrived just that morning.
Her mother would always keep several rooms open for temporary boarders, but there would now be a couple more rooms to let for regular boarders, although they would be smaller than those on the second floor. But so would the cost to rent one, for those just getting on their feet, and Miss Jordan would be the first to move into a new room.
The doorbell rang; the furniture her mother had ordered had arrived. Rebecca kept Jenny downstairs until her mother was satisfied with where the deliverymen put each piece and then they hurried up to help with the decorating.
It was a busy afternoon and Jenny had great fun putting knickknacks around while Rebecca and her mother hung pictures. The workers had hung the curtains in each room before they left and everything looked lovely.
The new sitting room was done in a flowered rose-and-green wallpaper, with a settee and four easy chairs in the same hues. There was also a writing desk in a corner of the room.
“Oh, Mama it’s very pretty and I’m so glad Gretchen and Maida will have a place to relax at the end of the day.”
“Of course, the girls who live up here can make use of it, too, but most of the time I’m sure they’ll be down with the other boarders.”
“May I come up sometimes, Granma?” Jenny asked.
“Of course, if it’s all right with Maida and Gretchen. Which I’m sure it will be. They’ve taken quite a liking to you, young lady.”
Jenny grinned from ear to ear. “I like them, too.”
Rebecca was sure the two women had probably already promised Jenny she could visit them.
Once the sitting room was done, they went on to put new bedding in Gretchen and Maida
’s rooms and then they called the two women up to see the transformation.
“Oh, oh! It’s beautiful! Mrs. Heaton, thank you! I—” Gretchen broke off and brought up her apron to wipe her eyes.
“I don’t know what to say. This is more than we ever imagined,” Maida said, wiping her own eyes.
“It’s all well deserved, my dears. I couldn’t do without you two—although I realize I won’t have you forever—you’ll both be getting married one of these days. But however long I have you with me, I want you to be comfortable here.”
Rebecca’s own eyes teared up as the two women hugged her mother and then even her and Jenny.
“There’s no doubt that we’ll be comfortable here. And it will take some really wonderful men to persuade either of us to move away!” Gretchen said.
“We certainly haven’t met them yet,” Maida added emphatically.
Rebecca chuckled along with her mother. “Well, we’re glad we’ll have you with us for a while.”
“You surely left the other rooms for us to help with, didn’t you, Mrs. Heaton?” Gretchen asked. “Dinner is in the oven and will be fine while we get them done.”
“With all of us helping, we’ll finish in no time,” Rebecca said.
“No, dear. You’ve done plenty for one day. I want you to be able to enjoy the weekend. Why don’t you go take a break and make sure nothing burns in the kitchen.”
Rebecca knew there was no arguing with her mother and she had to admit that while it felt wonderful to be able to do something to help, she did feel a little winded. “All right. I’ll go have a cup of tea and watch the oven.”
“It’ll be fine, Miss Rebecca. It’s roast chicken and I just put it in,” Gretchen said.
“Do you want to come with me, Jenny?”
Jenny hesitated long enough that Rebecca realized she’d rather be up here where all the fun was. “It’s all right if you want to stay here.”
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