BlackJack (A Standish Bay Romance Book 1)

by Donovan, Christine

  He choked on his root beer and Shannon’s hand flew to his back.

  “I’m sorry. Don’t be nervous, you’ll be great.” She continued rubbing his back, regretting her comment. She tilted her head toward the door and smiled. “Look. Here comes the band now.”

  They had changed clothes. All wore jeans, boots or sneakers and T-shirts. Cole’s long hair was no longer confined but hung loose. He wore the same clothes, only he’d added a black leather vest. Her body began to quiver. It started in her toes and shot to every outer extremity imaginable. She hugged herself, trying to stop it and while she did, she noticed how pale he looked. Concern for him slammed into her and she wondered if he’d eaten anything during the day. She certainly never saw him eat. As she watched, he grabbed a bottle of water and sat down on one of the loveseats. He closed his eyes and appeared to meditate. God, she was truly fascinated by him. He had all these different facets to his personality.

  The press had exploited him before and after his wife’s death. The stories written about Cole, at the time of Lindsey’s death, seemed like articles written about a totally different person. He had been only twenty-three at the time. Did a person really change that much? She remembered reading back then he never granted interviews, making her wonder where they got their information from? And since his release from prison, she could certainly understand his desire to keep his personal life private and still not grant interviews. There had been a media frenzy at his release. A popular public figure had wanted him deported to England, believing him to be a British citizen. The truth was Cole had been born in the United States to an American father and British mother. True, he spent most of his life in England, but he was an American citizen and could not be deported.

  Shannon didn’t think Cole had anything against reporters. Instead she had the feeling, even though he lived in the public eye, he tried his hardest to live a private life. And let’s face it, some, not all, but some reporters would twist his words just to juice up the story so they could sell more copies. And Shannon hated to admit it, but she was one of those people who bought anything remotely connected to Cole Jackson, but not anymore. Now that she met him, she didn’t need to rely on the half-truths written about him. She could get to know the real Cole Jackson all by herself. The question was, did she have the guts to?

  ***

  Cole was, without a doubt, in a full-blown panic attack. He had puked up what little food he’d had in his stomach, and now he felt like shit again. He knew once he took the stage everything would click into place. The musician, performer and actor would take over. Fortunately, he could bury his self-doubt, his panic from being in a crowd, and his, I am not worthy of this life, in the back of his mind as his alter ego took over on stage. However, there posed one monstrous problem? He had to fight, claw and drag his way to the stage first.

  Cole tried to meditate, something he’d learned to do in prison. It had gotten him through some tough times. But with Shannon Gallagher in the room, the only thing he could think of was her, which caused his heart to skip a beat. While in prison he had read everything he could get his hands on. AJ sent him many books including hers. At first Cole never understood why her books? She wrote romantic suspense and he had never made a habit of reading romance. He had to admit though, her books were well written and entertaining. She knew police procedure and the law, and her sex scenes gave him something to fantasize about during the long, lonely nights. Cole might not have known he enjoyed her style of writing, but somehow AJ had.

  He spent hours obsessively looking at her picture. There had been something about her eyes that had drawn him in. But nothing, absolutely nothing, could have prepared him for the emotional jolt he’d felt when he looked into her majestic blue eyes in person for the first time. The thought of diving into them and losing himself in them forever occurred to him at once.

  He’d felt an instant connection. She had as well. He knew she had felt the jolt when they shook hands the first time, as it was hard not to see the shock and confusion on her face. It had taken both of them by surprise. Even with his eyes closed now, he knew she watched him. He could feel the warmth from her eyes like tiny heated pin pricks. Not painful, or uncomfortable, just intense enough to make him all too aware of her presence in the room.

  Her son, shit, he had what people would refer to as pure, raw talent. He had what it took, talent wise, to go far in this business. Cole just hoped he had a good head on his shoulders because the music industry was a tough gig. The job was physically demanding during concert tours, and emotionally draining at other times. Everyone wanted a piece of you, and if you let them, they would take, take, take, until nothing was left. Nothing, but the outer shell of a man with an empty soul.

  It was a business for the thick skinned and really strong. Cole shook his head. Didn’t he know it? Neither had existed in him in the early days. He had relied on drugs and alcohol to help him be tough and look where it had gotten him. It had taken him to a place unfit for any decent human being, but not anymore. No chemicals would ever touch his lips or body again. He would become thick skinned on his own. This time he planned on surviving the emotional roller coaster ride. He would be in complete control and in charge of his own destiny from here on in. Of course, it was easier said than done.

  Cracking his eyes open just a smidgen, he studied the lovely Shannon Gallagher. What fates brought her to him today? She surprised him with her shyness, although why should it? Most writers were introverts, whether they wrote books or songs. He tried to remember what her bio stated on her jacket cover. He didn’t think she was married. No wedding ring. She couldn’t have been out of her teenage years when she had Cameron. He wondered what her life was like. Did the glitz and glamour touch her at all? Did she have any heartbreak or dark skeletons in her closet? Damn if he didn’t want to know all.

  Someone approached him and cleared his throat. Cole knew AJ stood in front of him without having to look since all his senses were on high alert. Their manager, Todd Cavanaugh, stayed in the wings so to speak, and AJ pretty much ran the show. The band members preferred it that way.

  “Cole, we need tae go. Ah’ll have Shannon and Cameron wait at the bottom of the stairs tae the left of the stage.”

  Cole opened his eyes and stared into the face of his closest friend, the friend, who had also loved his wife. AJ didn’t know he knew, but he did. He may have been drunk all those years ago, but not stupid, not by a long shot. He also knew others received her favors besides AJ. The prick, Mr. Ex-New York Senator himself was included among the long list. Cole would never forgive him for his cruel words spoken right after Lindsey’s death when he’d needed his close friends support as much as he’d needed air to breathe. If the senator had publically acknowledged that he believed in his innocence, things might have gone differently at his trial. He sighed. Ancient history, man, ancient history.

  “Cole, ye okay man?”

  Taking a deep breath, he pushed those memories of Lindsey back into the recesses of his mind. He didn’t need to be thinking about all the things that had gone wrong in their marriage, in their life. Now would be a bad time for the rage that sometimes consumed him when he thought about her unfaithfulness. Never mind the melancholy because she no longer walked the earth.

  “Yeah, go on. I’ll be right there.”

  “Aye, don’t be long. Our fans have waited fifteen long years for this.”

  Once alone, Cole grabbed crackers and a Coke and headed down the hall to the stairs leading up to the stage. The stage hustled with road crew members putting the finishing touches to the set. Hard to believe behind BlackJack’s enormous banner sat thousands of fans in darkness waiting for them to appear. He could hear the enthusiastic hum of the crowd and see the flames from lighters and the glow from cell phones. Not an empty seat in the house, approximately eighteen-thousand fans. Oh shit, he mused as his stomach protested again. He shouldn’t have eaten those crackers.

  He barely made it to the barrel in time before he lost
the contents of his stomach once again. As he straightened, mortification slammed into him at finding Shannon and Cameron standing close by, having witnessed it. His stomach took another roll. His hand fished in his front jeans pocket and came out with a small tin of mints. He popped one into his mouth to kill the awful taste.

  “Hey, Cameron, you ready?” Was that really his voice?

  Cameron shook his head in return. “Hell no.”

  “After the third song you’re up.” He tossed him the mints and turned his back. His hand gripped the railing as he pulled himself up one metal stair at a time, silently praying he could pull this off.

  ***

  Shannon held her breath and counted the beats of her pounding heart as Cole walked onto the dark stage. Several seconds later the lights exploded, momentarily blinding her as they opened with one of their biggest hits, “Misty Mornings.” She inched closer up the stairs, careful to stay out of the spotlights, and stood captivated by Cole’s stage presence. One would never know by watching him now that he’d thrown-up before taking the stage. And boy, did he know how to play to a crowd, and they welcomed him with open arms. Shannon’s eyes stung with unshed tears. She knew this must be extremely hard on him, and fortunately the fans from Boston welcomed him enthusiastically.

  He traded in his acoustic guitar after the opening song for an electric one and everyone and everything going on around her melted into oblivion, except Cole. Her undivided attention centered on him. He stood at a microphone stand, strummed his guitar and belted out a heavy metal tune that left her ears ringing and her body humming with energy. His hair flung in the air as he played his guitar over his head, behind his back and not at all. Then he proceeded to swing it around in the air as though it weighed nothing.

  Her hands flew to her heart as it swelled for him. This was his element, his life’s blood. And my God, nobody did it better. She couldn’t help but think of all those years wasted in prison when he should’ve been doing this.

  The next song took on the melody of a love ballad. Cole ditched the guitar and pulled the microphone from its stand and walked the stage singing and slapping hands with the audience. His tight jeans hugged his butt as he bent over, causing Shannon to groan. His arm muscles bulged as he cradled the microphone in his hands. God, Shannon mused, it seemed as though he serenaded and made love to every woman in the audience. She wanted it to be her.

  When Cole introduced Cameron, Shannon flew out of her trance and her heart swelled for her son. Cole introduced him as a local teenager from the Boston area who possessed incredible talented. Cameron didn’t disappoint the fans either. He played and sang like a pro. Cole stood right there alongside him, giving him silent support, playing and singing back-up.

  Tears streamed down Shannon’s face and she had trouble breathing. She had always known Cameron had talent, but it hit her, at precisely this moment, as to exactly how much. From this night on, his life would never be the same. She only hoped he was ready for it. Mature enough to handle it. And, oh my God, what would John say?

  Cameron stayed, playing his guitar on stage with the band until they took a short break. “Mom, that was so awesome!” He bound down the stairs completely breathless from all the excursion and excitement, not to mention hot, sweaty and grinning from ear to ear.

  Cole came up beside Shannon also sweaty and looking extremely hot. Somehow the combination of the smell of sweat and watching it drip down his face turned her on. She stared as he chugged a bottle of water. Watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down when he swallowed, and she nearly groaned out loud. After tossing the empty into a barrel, he handed a full one to Cameron, then smiled at Shannon. The smile lit up his molten brown eyes.

  “Your boy did great. He picked up on every one of our songs like a pro. If you don’t mind, I asked him to sit in on the next set.”

  Shannon didn’t know what to say. No matter what Cole said, she didn’t want Cameron being a burden. “I don’t know. You’ve done so much already.”

  “Mom, please,” her son pleaded and focused his sad puppy dog eyes on her. When a teenager wanted something bad enough, somehow they knew how to beg for it just the right way. Shannon figured it was inbred in them at birth.

  “You can’t imagine what it’s like out there. It’s always been my dream to be standing on stage with thousands of fans cheering and singing along with me. I know they’re here for BlackJack, but I can feel the connection with them and with the music. Please don’t ruin this for me.” He clasped his hands together and dropped to his knees. “Please, please, please,” he begged.

  “Cole, can I talk to you for a sec,” Shannon said, tilting her head, indicating the need for privacy.

  They stepped away from Cameron and her mind reeled, trying to figure out how to approach what bothered her. She decided there was no way except to take a deep breath, swallow and forge forward. “Cole, there are girls, women actually, flashing their, ah, um...naked, um...breasts at you guys on stage. I don’t want Cameron up there.”

  “Shannon,” Cole said, clearly enjoying himself. “We can hardly see anything from the stage due to the lights. Besides, if you were in the audience you might find yourselves sitting next to one of these women.”

  Somewhat relieved by his explanation, albeit embarrassed by the content of the conversation, she said. “Oh, I never thought of that.”

  “But did you see.” He put his hands out in front of his chest to indicate large breasts. “The woman in the front row with the—”

  “Cole!” she yelled.

  His arm snaked around her back and he whispered close to her ear, causing her heart to palpitate. “I’m kidding. Let him come on stage, who knows when he’ll get another chance.”

  This was not a man she could easily resist. “Fine, but I’m counting on him not seeing any more naked breasts.”

  Cole laughed as he let his arm drop. “You think it’s his first time?”

  Shannon looked at him, shocked from his comment. “Yeah, I do.”

  Cole cocked a brow.

  “Okay, well maybe not, I can only hope. He’s only sixteen.”

  “And what were you doing at sixteen?”

  “None of your damn business,” she choked out.

  Cole burst out laughing and dropped a quick kiss on Shannon’s cheek. Then he proceeded to pull Cameron on stage with him. The kid’s eyes were bugging out of his head, no doubt, from having witnessed the kiss.

  As the concert went on, the audience demanded more and more. And Cole and the other members did not disappoint. They delivered big time, especially Cole, as he had the most to prove and the most to lose.

  When the concert ended, the band members vanished into their dressing rooms, she presumed to shower and change. Shannon and a hot, sweaty and stinky Cameron waited for them in the back stage room. The room swelled to capacity with people. Some Shannon recognized from earlier and many new faces she’d never seen before.

  AJ, the first band member to join them said, “Hey Cameron, do ye want tae shower and clean up?”

  Cameron raised his arm slightly and sniffed. “Why. Do I smell ripe?”

  AJ laughed and made a face. “Aye man, ye do. Go tae the second door on the right. Shower and grab a clean T-shirt out of my bag.”

  Shannon smiled at AJ in relief as she watched her son stroll away. It amazed her his feet actually touched the ground after what he’d just experienced. The opportunity of a lifetime most people could only dream about. “Thanks, he reeked. It would’ve been a long ride back to the hotel.”

  “Aye, luv. It would have. Listen, we have tae hang out here for a bit tae speak with some radio people and those fans lucky enough tae have nabbed backstage passes. And ah’m told one local television station has come hoping for an interview with Cole. Boy, won’t they be disappointed when he’s a no show. Also, some guy from a Boston radio station wants tae interview Cameron. Would that be fine?”

  Shannon frowned. “I don’t know... did you just say Cole won’t be here?”
>
  AJ’s brows drew together and his lips tightened. “Cole’s not ready tae face any interviews just yet. He kens the subject of his wife’s death will come up and he doesn’t want tae talk about it. We’ll meet him back at the hotel. Now, about the interview with Cameron, can he do it?”

  Had her imagination run wild or had she witnessed sadness flash in his eyes as he spoke about Lindsey? It must have been horrible for all the band members to lose her. And why, with there being so much more to Cole than a dead wife, couldn’t reporters come up with something else to talk to him about?

  Glancing around the room at the crowd of people, she hoped her son knew what he was doing. “Only if I supervise,” she finally replied to AJ’s query.

  “Of course, without a doubt, wouldnae have it any other way. Ah and here’s Cameron now.”

  AJ, Brad and Ted spoke to the local radio D.J.’s and the one local television entertainment reporter. She recognized the woman as the same reporter who’d done a story on her a while back. AJ then introduced Cameron. He appeared nervous, but handled himself well. Answering all their questions truthfully and expressing his thanks to all four members of the band for letting him jam with them. Shannon’s heart swelled with pride. Sometimes he seemed way beyond his years.

  When they arrived back at the hotel, Shannon and Cameron went to the band’s suite and found Cole sitting on the sofa eating a sandwich. He smiled at her with a mouth full of food and waved her over.

  She stood frozen to the floor, her legs refusing to move and her palms damp with sweat. She’d just met this man, and he had such power over her body physically, and her mind...well he had power over that too. Because, no matter what she tried to tell herself, her mind betrayed her thoughts and her thoughts drifted to Cole. What would it be like to have someone like him love her? He was such an intense man, she imagined he did everything that way. He’d be a fabulous lover, passionate and totally focused on the carnal pleasures he gave and received. Oh my God! Here she was standing in front of him, fantasizing about him, and by the expression on his face it was as though he could read her thoughts. How mortifying to think he knew her brain centered on sex. And not just sex, sex with him!