Say You'll Remember Me

by Katie McGarry

  “You told me you weren’t interested in him.”

  “At the time, nothing was between us, but stuff has happened since.” I suck in a breath because admitting this to my cousin in broad daylight makes it real. “I love him.”

  Henry looks like I shot him. “Do your parents know?”

  I shake my head. “I was informed to stay away from him.”

  “Sounds like you listened.”

  Sure does. “Does it happen? The railroading?”

  Henry’s lips flatten. “Yeah. It happens. District attorneys are under pressure for convictions. Someone is arrested, evidence points in their general direction, a plea bargain frees up time, takes some burden off the overwhelmed prison system, and it gives district attorneys the statistics of convictions they need when people are up for reelection. I still have enough optimism left in me to believe that no one is trying to put an innocent person away, but I do think they find just enough evidence for guilt, and they go for the easy win.”

  “What about the attorney of the person accused? Shouldn’t they help if people say they aren’t guilty?”

  “Good attorneys are expensive. Hell, bad ones are expensive. Public defenders are swamped. They have way too many cases than they can handle. In some states, they barely have an hour to spend on their clients’ cases before going in front of a judge. A lot of times they’ll recommend the plea deal because they need to focus on crimes with bigger penalties—like life in prison or death. If you’re talking about this kid from your dad’s program, I can see why a public defender would have pushed the plea deal. This kid didn’t even serve time in real prison.”

  Didn’t even serve time in real prison. A part of me wants to scream. “Drix didn’t do it.”

  “Are you sure? If I was interested in a pretty girl, I’d claim I was innocent, too.”

  “He’s not the one who told me. Someone else did.”

  Henry’s talking again, and I’m ignoring him again, and I flip the page. My lungs squeeze all the air out of my chest. It’s a still frame image from the security camera.

  It shows a guy. Drix’s height, but not quite Drix’s build. Drix’s type of style with a T-shirt and jeans. Ball cap on his head hiding the color of his hair, sunglasses over his eyes, bandana hiding the rest of his face, boots on his feet similar to his.

  Proof. I need proof. I stare at the picture, searching for something, for anything to help prove his innocence because even though he hasn’t admitted it to me yet, I know he didn’t do it. I understand he was someone different before the arrest, but all that he’s said since I’ve known him...it makes sense.

  Another pass. I start at the cap, down along the face, at the T-shirt, along the arms, and my entire body twitches. “There’s a tattoo.”

  “Are you listening to anything I’m saying?”

  “Drix doesn’t have a tattoo.” I tear the picture out of the binder, slam it shut and then put the binder back in the stack. I’m on my feet, and Henry’s moving right along with me.

  “Stop.”

  But I can’t stop. I’m out of Dad’s office and yanking my keys out of my pocket, but a hand on my wrist jerks me back. “Elle, you have got to listen to me.”

  Henry’s expression causes me to go dead in my tracks. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

  “I need you to stop and think before you go blowing up your world.”

  It’s not my world that’s falling apart. “What are you talking about?”

  “You are going to sit and talk with me. When we’re done you can go off and do what you need to do, but not without talking to me first, do you understand?”

  Henry is protective, overly so, but he’s also my guardian angel. As he stares down at me, he’s not the army boy spewing directions. He’s my brother, and he’s trying to tell me there’s danger ahead. “Okay.”

  My stomach drops when he releases me and heads to the kitchen. It’s there that the most serious talks happen, and something tells me, my life is about to change.

  Hendrix

  Kellen sits on top of the picnic table, Dominic leans his back against the corner of my garage, and I complete our group as I stand with my arms crossed over my chest. Kellen’s stoic while spilling what she’s kept inside for over a year. Yeah, she’s fragile at times, but she’s also incredibly strong. It’s her strength that Dominic and I often forget.

  “Who did it?” Dominic’s asked the question probably a hundred times, and each time his voice goes a pitch lower and more deadly. “Who robbed the store?”

  Kellen glares at her older brother. “I’m not telling until Elle finds proof Drix didn’t do it, and then we go to the police. This guy is dangerous, and I will not have the people I love hurt.”

  The last part stirs that dangerous thread in me I’m always on guard for. “You’re more scared of him than of me going to jail?”

  Kellen yanks her hat off and circles it in her hand. “He said he’d hurt people. Physically.”

  “And you believed this bastard?” Dominic shouts.

  A sickening wave washes over me as she nods. Dominic is feared on these streets. He protects her in their home. If she’s scared of someone hurting Dominic, then that someone threatened murder.

  Dominic pushes off the wall. “That’s bull. I protect you. You know this.”

  “Sometimes I protect you, too,” she whispers.

  He begins an eloquent swearing rant, and I step in, taking a seat on the table beside her. I catch his eyes and subtly shake my head. She doesn’t need our anger. She needs our help. “Walk us through what happened. Start with after you took your dad’s gun.”

  “I only brought it because I was scared of walking late at night in the neighborhood. There was that girl that was raped a week before.”

  “You shouldn’t have been out,” Dominic says.

  “You were bleeding,” she snaps. “From your head. I went to get medical supplies for you. I thought you were dying.”

  “You went to steal from the store,” he bites back.

  Her chin yanks up, and she swallows as she tries to gain her composure. “Just medical supplies. That’s it. I was going to lift some gauze and rubbing alcohol. That’s it. I swear.”

  “Then what about the cash I found? What about the story you gave me? What happened to Dad’s gun?”

  Moisture lines the rims of her eyes, and her knee begins to bounce. I place a hand on her knee, it steadies, and after she takes in a long steadying breath, I pull back and she begins again. “I was scared to tell you the truth. I knew you’d go after him, and I didn’t want you to get hurt. You get hurt enough, and I’m sick and tired of being the reason why.”

  “That’s my job! I protect you. Period. You don’t take falls for me.”

  “You—” I pin Dominic with my glare “—let her talk. Keep going, Kellen. What happened when you got to the store?”

  “He was there, and he saw me in the aisle trying to lift.”

  “And you weren’t any good at it,” Dominic mumbles.

  She doesn’t say anything, because her brother’s right. “He offered to do it for me.”

  “For what price?” I ask.

  “He said no price.”

  Dominic and I share a long look because we raised her better. Anything given in this neighborhood comes with a high payday. Debts aren’t something you want to owe.

  “I was scared for Dominic,” she says, “and I wanted those bandages. This guy told me to wait outside and make sure no one else came in.”

  “You mean you became his lookout.”

  “For bandages! I had my back to the store so I didn’t know what was happening until the gunshot. I checked my back and the gun was gone. I realized he lifted it off of me, and I was scared, so I ran. So fast, so hard, but then he found me the next morning. He told me I was an accessory, and he gave me some of th
e cash for my part in the holdup. He told me if I ever told anyone, he’d hurt me and he’d hurt the people I loved. I don’t care if he hurt me, but I do care if he’d hurt you guys, and I knew he could. I know he still can, but if we get proof, we can send him to jail, and then he can’t hurt anyone anymore, and then Drix can get his life back.”

  I rub my hands together and lower my head. Problem with all of that? Whatever asshole is threatening Kellen has something right. There’s a good chance she could be arrested for accessory, and that’s a problem for me. With how Dominic is looking at me, he’s thinking the same thing.

  It’s like every time we try to dig out of a hole, someone’s shoveling more crap on top of us. There will never be a way out.

  Ellison

  Like I was ten, Henry pours himself a glass of chocolate milk and then does the same for me. “I can’t remember the last time I drank chocolate milk,” I say.

  “I’d bet it would be the last time we were in this kitchen together.” He pulls out a chocolate doughnut with sprinkles, puts it on a napkin, then slides it in my direction. He gives himself the one that’s overflowing with pudding.

  I stand where Drix stood weeks ago. Henry is in my position. I stare at him, taking a mental snapshot because this is what I have dreamed of for years, my cousin returning home. “Are you here to stay?”

  “I’m here for you. I’ve been keeping up with the news. Lots of pictures of you, and not one of them is your real smile.”

  I shrug off his truth. “You missed my birthday.”

  “I sent you a text.”

  A phssh sound leaves my mouth. “I deserve more than a text.”

  “My superior would be pretty pissed if I walked during an assignment. Considering I was protecting someone important at the time, I felt needed.”

  I playfully roll my eyes at his logical explanation. “Fine.”

  “I’m here now. Maybe by the end of today, you’ll smile for real.”

  “I’d smile more if you, Mom and Dad would figure out your problems and you’d come here to stay when you’re in town.”

  Henry rubs his biceps and leans forward on the counter. “My problem with them is my problem with them, not yours. I’ve learned a lot once I took a stand, and one of those things is the risks are bigger for you than they ever were for me. You need to be careful. Your mom and dad don’t like betrayal.”

  “I’m assuming you’re referring to dating Drix behind their back?”

  “I’m referring to the fact you’ve got one more year until you graduate from high school. You want to break out of your bubble then, I’m game. I’ll even give you a place to crash when you do, but you still have one year of school. That means one more year of control over you. They play nice as long you play nice, but cross them, and they’ll crush anything you love.”

  My mind swirls because his description doesn’t come close to describing Mom and Dad. “It’s not Dad’s fault Drix was arrested and not his fault Drix felt he had to take the plea deal.”

  “I’m asking you to be careful. Think about what you’re doing before you do it. You have a habit of rushing in. Don’t be so eager to give or receive the truth. Most times, it ruins lives.”

  Ruins lives. I have a hard time believing that. The truth is powerful, and the truth only makes us better. “What did you do, Henry? What is it Mom and Dad are so mad at you for?”

  “For owning my life.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means you need to think before you leap. Once you go too far, there’s no going back, and take a good look around because all you see is what you have to lose.”

  A hole forms in my stomach because I don’t want to lose anything. But mostly, I don’t want to lose Mom and Dad—not like how Mom, Dad and Henry have lost each other. We may not agree on everything, but they’re my parents. They love me and I love them. “Will I lose you?”

  “Never.” But he immediately focuses on the two untouched glasses of chocolate milk. “I ship out tomorrow.”

  I hate those words. Hate them more than anyone can know. “How long?”

  “Six months.”

  My chest aches, and I ease onto the stool beside me. There’s not enough time to soak in all that I need from him before he leaves.

  “I came by thinking we could eat doughnuts, order pizza for lunch and binge watch Star Wars.”

  I nod through the pain. “Then that’s what we’ll do.”

  Hendrix

  The sun beats down on me. Fire in the form of rays. I’m on the roof of a house that’s two stories at the front, and thanks to the walk-out basement, I’m three stories high from the back. One slip of my footing on the slanted roof and I’d better hope Axle added me to his health insurance. Otherwise, he can leave me on the ground to die.

  I pound one nail after another into black shingles. Sweat pours down my back, and along my brow. The perspiration has dripped and dried several times, and it’s only noon.

  “Drix,” Axle calls from the ground. “Take a break.”

  I stand tall, and my entire back aches from being bent over for hours. Sad part? I don’t want a break. I want to keep pounding in nails. I can’t think then. Too focused on keeping my muscles moving. Too busy settling into numb. I do well in numb, and physical activity brings me to that state. Marching in a forest, pounding in nails. Guess it’s good this works for me as this is the best I can hope to do with the rest of my life.

  “Drix,” Axle shouts again, and I head for the ladder. One step down after another. On the ground, I head over to a towering maple. Once in the shade, I unhook my work belt, drop it off to the side, plant myself next to it, and pull my cell out of my pocket.

  Elle. Her name falls into the hollow pit in my chest. I haven’t heard from Elle. In her defense, I haven’t reached out to her either. I said some cutting words, and I don’t know how to take them back. That’s wrong. I do, but I’ve never been good at apologizing. That means sucking up my pride, and my pride is all I have left.

  But I think of her in my arms, her soft skin, her smile, her laughter...her trust. She deserves better than me, yet I flip my cell around and turn it on. Yes, she deserves better, but it’s me she’s going to get. Texting would be easier, but I’m used to things being hard. Wouldn’t know what to do with myself if anything in my life was smooth and painless.

  I push Call and place my cell to my ear. One ring, then another. When the third ring hits I lower my head. Asshole. Why do I always have to revert to being an asshole when life goes to pieces? I go into voice mail. “It’s me. Leave a message.”

  A few seconds go by. Long enough I’m surprised I didn’t get kicked out of the call, but I finally speak. “It’s me. I’m sorry. I was—” hurting “—wrong.”

  “See, I told you it wasn’t so hard.”

  My head snaps up, and Elle is gliding toward me with a bottle of water in her hands. She’s gorgeous as always. Blond hair pulled up into a messy bun, those sexy dark-rimmed glasses on, intimidating blue eyes on me and a dangerous smile that could get me into all sorts of trouble I wouldn’t mind being in with her.

  I go to stand, but she waves me down. “I’ve watched you from my car for the past hour. You need a break.”

  She sits beside me and offers me the water. Dehydrated, I suck it down so fast the bottle crackles. It’s cold and refreshing and I have a fresh wave of energy. But the energy is from Elle because she’s contagious.

  “How did you know where I was?” I ask.

  “I stopped by your house this morning, and Holiday told me where to find you. I hope you don’t mind, but I need to talk to you, and I didn’t want to do it over the phone.”

  I crack my neck to the side because that sounds like breakup words, and I deserve it. Saying I’m sorry isn’t enough. Nothing in my world is enough. The other day was the second time I sent her away. At some poi
nt, she was bound to break.

  “I wasn’t mad at you.” I scratch the back of my head as if that can force my mind to come up with better thoughts. Something more poetic than the dirt inside me. “I was...”

  “It’s okay,” Elle says.

  It’s not. “What do you need to talk about?” Might as well get it over with.

  She straightens the rings on her fingers. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  Don’t have to ask her what she’s referring to. “Besides the fact it would have sounded like I was giving you a line so I could try to get into your pants?”

  She tilts her head in acknowledgment. “But what about later? When things started getting serious? Why didn’t you trust me? Why did it take Kellen asking for my help? Why didn’t you?”

  “Until recently, I thought Dominic did it. I got this stubborn side of me where I don’t want the people I love to go to jail. I already served the time. I’m already screwed. There’s no reason for that robbery to mess up anyone else’s life.”

  “Is that why you accepted the plea deal? For Dominic?”

  Yes and no. “I accepted the plea deal because they found me on the ground passed out behind the convenience store with the gun used in the robbery in my hand and because the surveillance video showed a guy with my build and my height. The damn shirt the guy was wearing in the surveillance video was balled up next to me as well, as was the hat and the bandanna.”

  “Could they not argue it was planted on you?”

  He shrugs. “The police said I passed out while changing and that the reason I didn’t have the money is because someone else probably stole it off me after I passed out. I accepted the plea deal because the public defender assigned to me had no clue what was going on, and I was going to be charged as an adult if I didn’t plead guilty. I had two bad choices, and I picked the one that stunk less.”

  She reaches into her purse and extracts a folded-up piece of paper. “I found this in Dad’s binder about you.”

  I open it, and it’s a picture I’ve never seen before. A still frame image of the surveillance video. I was only shown certain parts of the video and certain pictures. Elle reaches over and a painted fingernail points to the forearm. “Whoever did it has a tattoo. You didn’t do it, and now we have proof.”