Girl Crush

by Stephie Walls

  He held his weight off my chest by his forearms on either side of my ribs, and when he leaned down to capture my lips again, he eased himself in with one smooth stroke. I gasped, and my back arched in response to the way he took me. It was slow and methodical, and there wasn’t a moment I hadn’t committed to memory. Every time prior to this paled in comparison. Each roll of his hips brought a new sensation, as though I’d never been touched before. And when I finally reached the height of the experience, the colors that exploded behind my closed lids were more glorious than any color of nail polish that currently sat in my cabinet. The pinks, the reds, gold, and silver—each one like a firework in the sky of ecstasy.

  Collier West owned me lying in that bed. He captured me in a way that told me without words, he never planned to let me go. And once he found his own release, he gently raised himself off me. He didn’t get up and go to the bathroom or reach for a tissue on the nightstand. Instead, he lay next to me and pulled my body to his. The light still glowed around us, and when I dared make eye contact, the soft green I normally saw had turned into a lush jewel tone I’d never seen before.

  He brought my hand to his lips and kissed my knuckles. Before releasing it, he stared intently at my fingers and then whispered, “What color is this?”

  I burst into laughter, taking in the rich blue-green nail polish. “Is That A Spear In Your Pocket?” I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried. Ironically, OPI was better than Hallmark—they had a color for every situation.

  “You’re kidding?”

  “Nope.”

  “I’d ask if you planned that, but somehow, I think it was just fate.”

  Fate. A word I’d never believed in prior to these stars aligning.

  “Do I want to know just how many colors you have stocked up?”

  “Probably not…but let’s just say there’s not a situation I can’t handle with OPI at my fingertips.”

  He pointed to his dresser, and I noticed for the first time that each bottle I’d given him sat on display. Lined up, side by side in the order he’d received them. “I’d agree with that. I’ve never had anyone tell me a story with nail polish.”

  “It was less of a story and more of a confession.”

  He hummed in approval but didn’t say anything. I laid my head on his chest and listened to the strum of his heartbeat. I couldn’t stop the smile that lingered on my lips or the joy that filled my body. Every part of me was heavy with exhaustion but light with emotion.

  “Giselle?” The way he whispered my name filled my heart.

  “Yeah?” When I didn’t look up at him, he lifted my chin with his fingers to ensure I didn’t miss what came next.

  “I love you, too.”

  I kissed his lips to acknowledge the words I’d insinuated with that final bottle of OPI and closed my eyes to sleep.

  The next morning, I woke to a wall of Collier. Everything in me wanted to snuggle into him, breathe in his comfort, memorize his scent, but the “History of Giselle” told me it was time to go. I hadn’t done relationships in years, and the more I thought about where I was, the faster my heart started to race and panic set in. The walk of shame didn’t appeal to me, and the only option remaining was silent flight, but as soon as I tried to pull out of his arms, he stirred. His grip around my waist tightened, and he hummed.

  “Where are you going?” His voice was husky and warm.

  “I need to get home.” I kept pulling away from him, but he refused to allow me much distance.

  “Stay.”

  I gave in to his embrace and lay next to him. I tried to read his features, see something in his eyes, expecting his expression to say “go” while his words said “stay.” But I didn’t know what to do when nothing other than sincerity was there.

  “I need to go run, Collier. The longer I lie here, the hotter it will get.” I brushed the hair out of his eyes and off his forehead.

  There was nothing I wanted more than to lose myself in him, again, but I couldn’t allow myself to fall any harder than I already had. I needed to keep a little distance and allow him the time to catch up to where my heart was.

  He rolled over and propped himself up on his side. “I don’t just mean today, Giselle.”

  “Huh?”

  “I don’t want you to leave.”

  He must have missed the fact that I’d slept with him last night without a commitment of where we were going from here. “Don’t say things you don’t mean just to get something you want.” I softened my stare so he would realize I wasn’t upset. And then let my fingers roam all over his naked chest and down his arms.

  “You think this is just about sex?” The way his brow furrowed worried me. He appeared to be on the verge of anger, but I had no idea why.

  “I don’t guess so. I don’t know, Collier. I think maybe it’s easier to believe that way.” It was safer to imagine he just wanted sex than to admit he was asking for more.

  He smirked before he spoke. “Don’t get me wrong. You give me the green light, and I’ll part your legs and make you sing, but no, this is not about sex. I’ve spent the last two weeks doing nothing but thinking about what we could be based on where we’ve been. I didn’t tell you I love you just to get to sleep with you again. I said it because I meant it.”

  From any other man, it would have felt like a line, but something in the way he said the words along with how his pupils dilated and the color of green warmed screamed this was more.

  “We’ve spent months dating without the words. You can look at it however you want, but the fact remains that the two of us have done everything a couple does except have sex. You’re one of my best friends, Giselle, and absolutely the only woman I have any desire to spend time with. Ever.”

  “Collier…”

  “No, listen. I don’t want to spend any more time just dating. I want permanence with you.”

  “Meaning what?” I sat up, and the sheet fell to my waist, exposing my chest.

  His eyes moved to my ta-tas, and I felt the heat in my cheeks as they flamed.

  “I want you to move in.”

  I sighed. There was no way for me to say any of this without hurting his feelings.

  Before I could reply, he lay down on his back and covered his eyes with his forearm. “I get it. It’s too soon for you.”

  But that was just it. It wasn’t too soon. I wanted nothing more than to wake up next to him and see him every day. The thought of having him around all the time made me school-girl giddy, but I couldn’t do it here. “No, ding dong. It’s not about that at all.” My hand swatted at his ribs playfully.

  He still hadn’t moved his arm. “Then what is it?”

  Time to rip off the Band-Aid. I took a deep breath and spit it out. “I hate your house.” I bit the inside of my cheek and waited for his response. I should have known he’d pick now to make eye contact.

  “What?” Miffed—that was the only word I could use to describe his tone.

  I shrugged and picked the sheet back up, suddenly self-conscious. Tucking the fabric under my arms, I shielded myself from his stare. “It’s cold.”

  His laugh reverberated off the marble floors and bounced off the walls. “We can change the temperature of the house, babe.”

  “It’s not the air, it’s the feeling. Nothing about your house feels like a home. I hate the floors and the monochromatic colors, and the rooms filled with furniture but no personal effects. There’s just so much wasted space.”

  “Are you serious?”

  My head bobbed in a nod, but I wasn’t sure he understood what I meant. “Don’t get me wrong, I love the pool, but the rest doesn’t do a lot for me. I love my house, West. I know it’s not fifteen thousand square feet, and I don’t have the oasis out back that you do, but it feels lived in. I never want to leave. With all the shit I’ve been through, my home has been just that…home.”

  His lips met mine unexpectedly, and a smile spread from ear to ear when he pulled away.

  “Why are you s
miling? I figured it would hurt your feelings. I’ve never wanted to tell you that.”

  “Because you just confirmed everything I’ve ever believed. There’s not another woman I’ve known that would turn down moving in. Money is all the opposite sex sees when I’m in the picture—but you don’t care about it.”

  “Why would I?”

  “Most women just see me as a paycheck. I’ve told you that. That’s why it was so easy being around you. I was able to just get to know you without that worry.”

  “Did you think that would change just because our status did?”

  “I hoped it wouldn’t, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t expect you to embrace it. Not because I thought you were after it, but money just makes life easier.”

  “I don’t need a man to take care of me financially. I know I don’t make a ton, and by your standards I’m poor, but I have everything I want except someone to come home to. And before I met you—hell, even after—I didn’t think I wanted that. All the money in the world won’t buy loyalty.”

  Collier grabbed my wrist and rolled me on top of him. His hands held my waist, and I could feel every inch of him pressed against me. It was hard to remain focused on the topic at hand when all I wanted him to do was take me. Losing myself in his touch was far more appealing than telling him how much I disliked his mansion.

  “I don’t care about the house, Giselle. If you don’t want to live here, we don’t have to. If you want to stay at your place, we can do that as well. If you want to sell both houses and buy another one, I don’t care. I just don’t want to wake up another morning without you by my side.”

  The conversation had gotten too heavy, and I was a lightweight. “When did you become such a sap? The next thing I know you’re going to want to carve our initials into a tree in the front yard.”

  I squealed when he dug his fingers into my sides and tickled me. “You think this is a joke, huh?” I loved seeing him so playful. Brutus was nowhere to be found; the only man here was the West I loved.

  “I’m not letting you go home alone. Plain and simple. You can make the choice as to where we go, but whatever we do, we do it together from here on out.”

  “Okay, lover boy. Then I’d say pack a bag.”

  When I tried to get up, he showed me who was in charge…and it wasn’t me. This commanding side of West made me swoon. He was everything I’d ever wanted without knowing it existed. There was no part of me he didn’t claim lying there in his bed. After the second time I screamed his name, he finally gave in to his orgasm. I would be sore tomorrow, but damn, it was worth every second of discomfort to come.

  “Come on, let’s go shower. I’ll get some stuff together, and we’ll figure this out as we go.” Collier’s desire to secure this confirmed everything I needed.

  Before I got out of bed, I glanced at the clock on my phone. My jog was going to be hell when I got home. I cringed thinking of the humidity and extra fifteen degrees the lapse in time caused. I needed to find a new way to burn calories that didn’t include being outside. I grinned when I thought about sex being a viable alternative but didn’t bother Googling it to see just how often we’d have to do it to replace five miles.

  “You coming?” he called out from the bathroom.

  I got up and met him in the steam for round two.

  16

  West had been to my house. He’d been in the living room and kitchen, but he hadn’t been beyond that. But he settled in like there was no place he’d rather be. I kept thinking he’d get tired of my tiny space and hint at leaving or moving. But as the days turned into weeks, more of his stuff accumulated in my closet, and I found myself giving him more drawers. I loved having him around, but I wasn’t gung-ho about cramming my crap into smaller spaces. And I flat out refused to give up my cabinet dedicated to all things OPI.

  “Giselle, there must be two hundred bottles of nail polish in here. You can’t possibly use them all.” Collier got my obsession…to an extent. We’d apparently reached that point.

  I wandered into the bathroom and stared at my collection he was moaning about. “I do.”

  “You couldn’t use all of these in a year if you painted your nails every other day. And every time I turn around you’re bringing home another bottle. Can’t we consolidate this? Even a little?”

  “Collier, they’re all very distinct colors. They all serve different purposes. And some just suit my mood depending on the day.”

  “You choose nail polish based on your mood?”

  “Absolutely. Color is an accessory just like your ties and cufflinks.”

  “I don’t have two hundred ties, and all my cufflinks fit into a box the size of my hand. It’s hardly the same.”

  “Is this really going to be our first fight as a couple?” I put my hand on my hip and cocked it to the side with attitude.

  He closed the door to the cabinet and pulled me to him by my waist. “No, babe. I love your passion for color coordinating your nails with your outfits and mood…even if I don’t have a clue how you can tell the difference between twenty-seven shades of pink.” With a gentle kiss to my temple, he released me and let the subject go.

  Everything had been picture perfect between the two of us. My friends acted like we had always been together and included him in everything we did. I never asked him how he felt about hanging out with seven women and listening to us discuss all things feminine. Slowly our groups were merging, and our clan had become tightly knit. The guys hung out with the girls. Most of the time, we—West and myself—were around, but Beck frequently had everyone over to hang out by the pool. Sometimes we went and others we didn’t. Our presence wasn’t necessary for them to get together. The envy I anticipated never came. My desire for independence didn’t surface.

  His friends treated me like one of the guys, which I adored, and my friends treated Collier like one of the girls. I sat back on the lawn chair, taking in the sight of our horde as they played in the pool. Ronnie hung out next to me in the sun, but since West and I had become an official couple, I hadn’t had the time alone with her that I had in the past. It finally made sense why Trish had been bothered by our relationship, but I missed her.

  “You look happy, Gizzy.”

  I turned toward her and shielded my eyes from the sun. “I am. I didn’t realize things could work like this. They never did with Chris, not even when things were new and good.”

  “Beck says he adores you. And she’s over the moon that you guys worked things out. She thinks he’s going to pop the question soon.”

  I shot up and threw my feet over the edge of the chair. “What?” I wailed. Things were perfect just like they were. “Has he told her that?”

  “Nah, I don’t think so. But I don’t know that for sure.”

  “How would she know then?” I didn’t want to risk bursting our bubble. But as the words started to sink in, I realized just how much I wanted it to be permanent.

  “No clue. I don’t ask that kind of crap. You know that. As long as you’re happy, that’s all I care about. I don’t give a shit if you have a ring on your finger or not.”

  “God, Ronnie. Don’t freak me out like that. Unless you have concrete evidence of monumental change, keep that crap to yourself.” I relaxed back into the seat and returned my attention to the pool.

  As if he sensed my stare, he turned toward me and winked when his eyes met mine. I wondered if this feeling would ever go away. Never in my life had I been so hopelessly in love with another human being. The way he moved, how he talked to our friends, his devotion to me, all the way to his work ethic was more than I could have ever dreamed of.

  In the car after dinner, with my hand on his thigh, Collier drove through the streets toward our house. My love for this vehicle came in a close second to my love for the man driving it. I rolled my head over to face him. “Are you ever going to let me drive your car?”

  He laughed but didn’t take his focus off the road. “Giselle, I’ve ridden with you. I know how you d
rive. So it’s safe to say the answer will always be no.”

  “That’s just rude. I haven’t damaged my car or gotten a ticket. And I’ve never been in an accident.”

  “Yeah, but at this point, it’s just fun to turn you down. You’re really cute when you pout.”

  I popped him playfully on the chest. “Jerk.”

  I hadn’t turned away when he changed the subject. “Did you get to talk to Beck today?”

  “Yeah, I mean, we chatted, but there were other people around.” Ronnie’s words came rushing to the front of my mind, and all I could think of was if he was about to bring up marriage. Then my thoughts bounced down the rabbit trail of what that would be like, but before I could get lost in that daydream, he continued talking.

  “She’s moving back in with Stella.”

  “Really? That’s fantastic. I take it that means she’s done well at work? That was the deal with Stella, right?”

  “I guess. I don’t know. All I know is she’s leaving.”

  “You don’t sound all that thrilled about it.”

  “It’s not that.”

  He parked next to the Camaro, and we continued the conversation while walking inside. “Then why do you seem bothered by it?”

  “There won’t be anyone living there. We need to decide what to do about the house.”

  “What do you want to do?”

  “Sell it. But, Giselle, don’t you think we need to consider buying something bigger? It doesn’t have to be elaborate, but we’re cramped here. Your nail polish has more cabinet space than I do in the bathroom.”

  “I thought you were okay with my collection?”

  “Babe, I am, but surely you can find another place you love as much as this one that fits our needs better…and has a pool. Let’s be honest, no matter where we live, I’m not giving up seeing you in a bikini.”

  “I’d rather just get rid of some of my stuff. And if the pool is a big deal, we can put one in the backyard.”