Childhood Fears

by L. L. Soares

  “Hurry, I think it’s real this time.” Jimmy saw the movement again and leaned over even farther. He felt himself falling and screamed as he went headfirst into the pond.

  Lowell heard the scream and splash. He ran to the edge of the pond, but Jimmy had disappeared under the water.

  Barry stopped and shut off the tractor when Lowell came running across the field, waving his arms in the air. He had tears running down his face when he yelled to his father that Jimmy had fallen into the pond. Barry told him to go to the house and call the neighbors and the fire department for help. He abandoned the tractor and ran south toward the track.

  Robert and Leroy ran to help. They caught up with Lowell at the pond. Barry’s boots and work gloves were in the grass beside the water. The teenager knelt and stared into the pond. After several very tense moments, Barry surfaced and lifted Jimmy’s body up onto the ground. Robert pulled the boy away from the water and dropped to the ground beside him. Unconscious and not breathing, Jimmy didn’t respond to Robert’s attempts to revive him. Lowell stood shaking and crying. Barry crawled from the water and tried to catch his breath. Leroy stood in the laneway and signaled to the arriving volunteer firefighters and their rescue truck.

  Barry quickly explained what happened, as the volunteers put the boy on a stretcher and gave him oxygen. They lifted him into the truck and raced back to the highway, sirens blaring.

  “They’re taking him to Metro Hospital,” Leroy yelled from the road. “We can take Robert’s pickup.” Barry, wet and cold, ran with the others across the open fields to the Millard yard. Robert drove the pickup as fast as he could, and they arrived at the emergency entrance at the same time the fire truck pulled away.

  One of the volunteers, heading for his car, saw Barry get out of the truck at the entrance. “He’s alive. They got him breathing again.”

  Barry’s eyes filled with tears. He took a visible breath and nodded to the rescuer.

  The doctor and nurses did manage to revive Jimmy. Barry and Lowell watched him. Awake under an oxygen mask, the boy smiled at his father and brother. They thought everything would be fine.

  The doctor pulled Barry out of the room and informed him Jimmy had probably suffered brain damage. He explained that the extent of that damage still had to be determined. Robert and Leroy had been waiting in the hall and heard the doctor’s terrible prognosis.

  The ordeal upset the entire community, and the safety of the children became a major concern. Cathy proved to be a very curious child. To deter her adventures, Robert and Clare found scaring her seemed to be the only thing that worked. The following fall, they used fear to keep their daughter from injuring herself at the creek or getting lost in the tall corn. In his most serious voice, Robert talked to the three-year-old.

  “Cathy, if you go to the creek, the ghosts in the water will grab you. If you get into that cornfield, you’ll get lost and the scarecrows will get you. You have to promise me you’ll stay in our yard.”

  She believed every word he said. “I promise, Daddy.” He nodded and she threw her arms around his neck and held on.

  The next month, during the full moon, Cathy told her father the scarecrows walked around in the field during the night. The little girl insisted she saw them from her window in the moonlight. She told him they hurt people in the field. Robert explained to her they couldn’t move and scolded her for telling such wild tales. She refused to believe him. He decided to let it go, hoping to keep her in her own yard.

  Every fall, she claimed the scarecrows walked the field. The year she turned five, she claimed she saw them kill people. He discredited her story, but nothing convinced her. She believed in their powers to move and harm.

  Robert regretted using those ugly scarecrows to keep her out of the field. Shortly after the harvest, the nightmares began. Almost every night, she ran, terrified, into her parents’ room. Clare often spent hours getting her back to sleep.

  Monday, July 24, 1966

  Diane Wagner arrived midafternoon and entered Cathy’s room, carrying a binder. She sat at the table, in the chair opposite Cathy. The little girl colored a picture of a forest. She looked up at the doctor and then looked over at the nurse. Wendy, seated in a chair in the far corner, nodded and smiled. Normally Wendy left the room when doctors talked to Cathy, but Alexis told the nurse to stay with the child for this first visit.

  “My name is Diane.” The doctor smiled.

  Tall and slim for her age, Cathy had a striking resemblance to her father. The dark hair, pulled back into a ponytail, accented her blue eyes. Cathy looked at the woman and put the crayon down. “You’re pretty. I like your haircut and that blouse is nice. Pink is my best color.” The child turned to Wendy. “Can I get my hair cut like that?”

  Wendy shook her head. “You’re too young to cut your hair off. When you grow up, maybe you can cut it that way.”

  “Pink is my favorite color too.” Diane looked around the room.

  “Why are you visiting me? I don’t know you.”

  “I’m here to help you understand what happened two years ago, and why you need to be here now.”

  Cathy became very disgusted. “You’re another doctor, aren’t you?”

  “Yes, I’m a doctor. I study how girls and boys like you think and feel about things. I’m a psychiatrist.” Diane looked at Cathy. The child picked out a new crayon, started coloring again, and ignored her visitor.

  “Please. I’m here to help you. Will you talk to me?”

  “Do I have to talk about that night again?”

  “Yes, Cathy. I’m sorry about that, but I need you to tell me what happened.”

  “I don’t want to tell you. No one ever believes me anyway. Do you promise to believe me and not get mad at me? Everyone thinks I’m a liar, but I’m not.”

  “I’ll believe you and I won’t get angry. Is that okay?”

  “I suppose.”

  “Can I write down some notes while you’re talking?”

  “Sure. Everybody does that.” Cathy watched the doctor put her binder on the table.

  Opening her binder, the doctor slid her pen from a holder inside. “I’m ready now. Can you tell me the whole story?”

  Dropping her crayon, Cathy grinned and cleared her throat. She held her hands together on the table. “Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful princess…” Cathy laughed.

  Wendy came over and squatted down to meet the child’s eyes. The nurse smiled and spoke calmly. “The sooner you tell this lady your story, the sooner we can go outside.”

  Cathy frowned and nodded. Wendy went back to her chair.

  “She’s right. I just have to hear it and I’ll leave. I promise.” Diane nodded.

  Cathy looked at the doctor closely and after a few moments started again.

  “I was sleeping and that stupid clock downstairs woke me up when it started dinging. I got out of bed really quiet, so I didn’t wake Helen.”

  “Who’s Helen?”

  “She’s my sister. She gets mad if I wake her. I went to the bathroom and then I came back and looked out the window. I saw the cornfields. The silk on the tops of the corn looked brown and dry. My mom says that’s how you know the corn’s ready. Mr. Lewiston takes down the corn when it’s full-grown like that.”

  “Wasn’t it dark outside? How did you see the corn?”

  “The moon was out. I found it at the corner of the house. When I looked back at the cornfield, I saw right away that the scarecrows left their pegs.”

  “Do you always look for them?” Diane was taking notes.

  Cathy ignored her question. “I found the fat old woman first. She walked toward the road. Then I saw the old man and he followed her. I didn’t see the farmer man. Then I saw the fat woman moving toward my friend. I wondered why Emily got in that field. I forgot at first, and then I remembered she was lost. Anyway, she ran in and o
ut of the corn, and fell down a lot. Her clothes were all dirty. Emily never got dirty like that before. I got scared for her.”

  “Wait, Cathy, who is the fat woman? Do you know her?”

  “She’s a scarecrow.”

  Diane had read the file, and every account referenced the scarecrow delusions.

  “What about the old man and the farmer—are they scarecrows too?”

  “Yes. They’re all scarecrows.” Cathy leaned forward and stared at Diane. “This is where nobody believes me.”

  “I believe you. Please tell me the rest of the story.”

  Cathy looked at the doctor, but didn’t really believe Diane. Cathy continued, but watched the doctor carefully.

  “The policeman who came to my house said Emily got lost so everyone looked for her. I went to the creek and showed him where Emily and Joel caught frogs.”

  “Did you see her that day?” Diane asked Cathy.

  “No. She didn’t go to school that day. I saw her on Sunday. She played at the creek like I just told you.”

  “Okay, please go on. You talked about seeing her that night.”

  “I thought if she got lost in that field for a while, she’d be really scared. I’m afraid of those scarecrows, and Emily would be afraid too. I decided to help her get out of the field, before the fat woman hurt her.”

  “Why do you think the fat woman would hurt her?”

  “It’s what they do. If you’re in their field, they hurt you and carry you away.”

  “I had no idea scarecrows could do that.”

  “See. You don’t believe me.”

  “I believe you. I just didn’t know scarecrows could do that.”

  “They hurt people. I’ve seen them do really bad things. They won’t hurt me, but I’m still afraid of them.” Cathy started to breathe fast and her skin went pale. “I don’t want to talk anymore.” She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at the wall.

  Diane reached across the small table and spoke quietly.

  “Please give me your hands.”

  Cathy slowly unfolded her arms and Diane grasped her hands.

  “You know you’re safe here. No one is going to hurt you.”

  The little girl looked at Diane and nodded.

  “Please, tell me what happened then.”

  Cathy pulled her hands away, picked up a crayon and started to color again. She talked, but her eyes stayed on the paper. “I ran downstairs and put on my shoes, and then I went out the side door. My dad had chopped some sticks for the fire pit on the side porch. I picked up his little axe. I thought I might need it to help Emily. The scarecrows could hurt her. They didn’t understand that she wouldn’t hurt them or steal from them.”

  “You said you’ve seen them hurt someone before?”

  Cathy looked at the doctor and frowned. “Yes. They hurt people. I told my dad and my mom, but no one would believe me. Jimmy knew about that too. He told his dad, but nobody believed him either. Nobody believes kids.”

  “Who is Jimmy? Is that a friend of yours?”

  “Jimmy is Mr. Lewiston’s son. He fell into the pond a long time ago and now he’s stupid, but he’s my best friend.”

  “Cathy, can you tell me a little more about Jimmy?”

  “He’s old. He might be sixteen now. I’m not sure. He’s my friend and he knows the scarecrows. He puts them together in the barn and talks to them all the time. Like I said, he’s stupid.” She put the crayon down and thought for a moment. “No, wait, he’s not stupid. Dad says he’s kinda retarded now from being in the water.”

  “Okay, Cathy. Please go on. What happened next?”

  “I ran across the road and crossed over the creek. When I got into the cornfield, it was dark and it took me a couple minutes to find Emily. I told her I knew the way out but she kept yelling at me. Then she grabbed my arm and pushed me. I got up and grabbed her hand, but then the fat woman showed up. She grabbed Emily’s other arm. I hit her hand with the axe and she let Emily go.”

  “This fat woman, did she say anything?

  “She yelled bad words at me, but I held up the axe and she stayed away. Jimmy built her to look like a fat old woman. We thought at first she looked funny.” Cathy grinned and looked at Diane. The doctor ignored her and wrote in her binder.

  “Didn’t they tell you about the scarecrows?” Cathy frowned at the doctor.

  “Please keep going with your story.”

  Cathy took a big breath and started to talk fast. “Then the old man came up and picked Emily up, so I hit him a bunch of times with the axe until he put her down. Then the farmer-guy showed up. I saw him coming, and I swung the axe at him and before I hit him, he went away. Then the others went away too.” Cathy swung her arms around to show how she chased off the scarecrows.

  Diane wrote another quick note and looked over at the girl. “These are all the scarecrows and Jimmy built them all?”

  “Yeah. That’s his job on the farm. His dad says he’s useless anyway, so he doesn’t care if he builds dumb-looking scarecrows. At least it’s kinda useful.”

  Diane sat back in her chair and put down the pen. “You saved Emily from the scarecrows that would hurt her. Is that right?”

  “That’s what I said.” Cathy rolled her eyes and picked up her crayon.

  “I heard you. Is there more?”

  The child kept her eyes on the coloring page and shook her head. “After the scarecrows left, I got really tired. I sat down beside Emily. I must have gone to sleep, because I don’t remember anything else. My dad woke me in the morning. I was in bed. I knew I didn’t dream it, because I still had a piece of straw from the field in my hair. ”

  “Cathy, you saw a fat woman, an old man and a farmer. They were the scarecrows. Did they look like anyone you know?”

  “They weren’t people. They were scarecrows. Jimmy built them for his father.” Cathy, spoke slowly and stared at Diane. “I watched them from my window across the road. They walked around the field at night. They chased off the kids who tried to steal corn.”

  Diane wrote more notes and ignored Cathy’s frustration.

  “What did you think they would do to Emily?”

  “You keep asking the same questions. I saw them hurt people before at night. I think they like to hurt people. They think it’s fun. I didn’t want them to hurt Emily. She’s just a little girl and she’s my friend.”

  Diane kept going. “Weren’t you afraid they would hurt you too? You’re a little girl like Emily.”

  “They wouldn’t hurt me. Jimmy is my friend and they don’t hurt Jimmy or his friends. Jimmy told me that. He said I didn’t need to be afraid of the scarecrows, because they won’t hurt his friends. I was still afraid.”

  “Who is Jimmy again?”

  “He’s Mr. Lewiston’s son. My father says Jimmy is retarded and I’m not to play with him. Mom told me it’s okay to play with Jimmy, so we’re still best friends.” Cathy glared at the doctor.

  “Is Jimmy the one who built the scarecrows?”

  Cathy screamed at her. “Are you listening to what I say?”

  Wendy walked to the table and pulled the child around to face her, but the doctor kept talking. “What happened to Emily?”

  “I don’t know.” Cathy screamed again.

  Wendy quietly spoke. “Please stop screaming.”

  “I’m sorry, Wendy. Can we still go outside?”

  “This is almost over. Just answer her questions and then I’ll make her leave.” The child slowly calmed and turned back to the table. The nurse stood next to the table and waited.

  “I said I don’t know what happened to Emily. The next day I couldn’t go out of the house, and then I came here. I never saw her again after that night.” She appeared calm. “No one ever believes my story. Do you believe me?” Cathy waited for the answer, daring her to
admit the truth.

  “Of course I believe you.”

  Cathy stared at the doctor. She knew no one ever believed her.

  Wendy approached the table and, picking up the binder, handed it to the doctor. “It’s time for you to go now. Your interview is over.” She placed her hand under the doctor’s elbow, raised her to her feet, and walked her quickly to the door. Diane didn’t resist.

  Chapter Four

  May 1963

  The clock woke her up again. Cathy sat on the floor, elbows on the low sill, her head in her hands, and looked out the open window. The moon cast a dim glow, and she could see across the road and into the cornfield. The field, flat and empty, looked gray. The creek, filled with spring runoff, rushed past. She heard it, and saw only black where the creek ran.

  A light blue car rolled up slowly and stopped in front of the house. Richard, her big brother, got out of the car, walked across the road, and disappeared under the porch roof. The car drove away. She heard the front door open quietly and Richard climbing the stairs.

  “Hey peanut, why are you up?” Richard stood in her doorway and whispered.

  “The clock woke me up. I like to look out the window.” At four years old, her whisper sounded loud in the quiet house. She saw her sister’s arm move and then Helen rolled over with a groan. Cathy looked up at her brother. He put his finger to his lips and motioned for her to follow him.

  They got to the top of the stairs, and Richard scooped up his sister and carried her on his shoulder, down to the kitchen. He sat her on a chair at the kitchen table.

  “Do you wake up a lot at night?” Richard pulled a glass from the cupboard and went to the fridge. He poured Cathy a glass of milk, and opened a bottle of beer for himself. He watched her closely as he talked.

  “Sometimes I just wake up. I like to look outside. Sometimes I listen to the creek or pretend I’m riding on a train.”

  Richard laughed. “So which did you do tonight?”