In Confidence

by Karen Young

  He smiled. “Ready?”

  “At least you didn’t say the H word.”

  “Horny?”

  “Oh, God.” She rolled her eyes. “Please open the door and let me go home and try to convince myself that living day and night with a teenager hasn’t turned me into one.”

  Chuckling, he did as she asked, but to her dismay, as she darted out onto the porch, he was right behind her. “We had a date,” he reminded her, slowing her by catching her hand. “I’m walking you to your door just as you would expect Nick to escort his date to her front door.”

  She could see there was no point in trying to talk him out of doing it, so she didn’t bother trying. And she was becoming accustomed to him taking her hand. So, instead of fighting fate, she breathed in the chilly night air and fell into step beside him, thankful that it cooled her cheeks and hid from his amused eyes how she was blushing. As they crossed the lawn between his house and Dinah’s, a car pulled up to the curb and stopped. Her spirits dropped as she recognized it.

  “Ted’s Lexus, right?” Cam said.

  “Yes.” And absolutely the last person she wanted to see tonight. Unless it would be Francine. And Rachel admitted that would be worse.

  “Pretty late for a social visit.”

  Thankfully, it appeared that he was alone. “It’s probably something else his lawyer has come up with that he wants me to sign,” she said.

  “Keeps on trying to screw you, does he?”

  “Yes.”

  “And you’ll demand that he take it to your lawyer, right?”

  “Of course. And why he keeps trying to do these silly end runs beats me. He knows Stephanie and I are on to him now, but he’s in such a financial bind that I guess he hopes I’ll take pity on him.” She glanced up at him. “You don’t want to be a party to the scene, I’m sure. So, thanks again and—”

  “You can thank me when we reach your front door,” he said, keeping a firm hold on her hand.

  By the time they reached Dinah’s sidewalk, Ted was out of his car, but he hadn’t yet noticed them. Rachel saw with surprise that his clothes were wrinkled and he seemed flustered. He dropped his keys and fumbled around on the ground for them. Up again and walking, he ran a hand over his hair and made a hasty effort to tuck in his shirt. Clearly, something was wrong.

  “He looks like he’s been rode hard and put up wet,” Cam murmured.

  “Yes, and it’s very unlike him,” she said, frowning. He was usually neat to the point of fastidiousness.

  “Is he drunk?”

  “If so, it would be very unusual. He’s not much of a drinker. Ted,” she said, finally catching his attention. “Is something wrong?”

  “Rachel, I need to see—” He stopped when he realized that she wasn’t alone. “I didn’t expect—”

  “You remember Cameron Ford?”

  With a distracted look, he nodded curtly at Cam. “Sure, hello.”

  “Ted.” Cam greeted him with a lift of his chin. “Been a long time.”

  Ted eyed their clasped hands with a frown. “Yeah. How are you?”

  “Never better.” Cam released Rachel, but only to draw her a little closer with a palm at the small of her back. It was a small intimacy, but a telling one.

  Ted didn’t often look disconcerted, but he did now. “Ah, am I interrupting something?” he asked Rachel.

  “We were about to call it a night,” Cam said, nudging her up the walk. Ignoring Ted, who lagged a few paces behind, he reached around her to open the door. Then, just as he’d done in his kitchen moments ago, he took her face in his hands and kissed her. It was a slow, deliberate melding of his mouth to hers and she felt the same wild leap of her senses as before. And again, it was over too soon.

  Stepping back, he grinned at her. “G’night, sugar.”

  He went down the steps and, as he passed Ted, lifted his hand in a casual gesture, then headed across the lawn to his house, whistling.

  A little dazed, Rachel thought longingly of going inside while she still had the taste of him on her lips, then falling into bed and going to sleep. Where, if she was lucky, her subconscious would finish what Cam had started in his kitchen. But her ex-husband was standing on the steps with a look on his face that warned her he was about to say something to ruin the happy glow she was feeling.

  “How long have you been fooling around with Ford?”

  She sighed and resisted an urge to close the door in his face. “What brings you here at this hour, Ted?”

  “It didn’t take him long to start sniffing around, did it?”

  She made to close the door, but he was too quick. He caught it before she could slam it in his face. “What do the kids think about you acting like a teenager?”

  She managed not to wince at that. “If you could carve out fifteen minutes to be with them, you might ask. And besides, what I do now is none of your damn business.”

  “I see Dinah’s hand in this, Rachel. As soon as she realized her neighbor was a famous author, she got a plan.”

  She sighed with impatience. “Why are you here, Ted? It’s after eleven. Kendy’s in bed and Nick is at an overnight party with friends. If you want to talk to me, make it about something besides my personal life.” She paused, studying his face and disheveled appearance. “What’s wrong? You look like hell.”

  His hostility suddenly seemed to dissolve as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t want Dinah to hear. Where can we talk?”

  “In the den.” She let him in then and started down the hall. “And keep your voice down. I don’t want to wake Kendy. She’s getting up early tomorrow morning to go to the zoo in Dallas with her friends.”

  “I’d like a drink. Please.”

  As if he cared what Kendy had going tomorrow. Without a word, she went to the cabinet where Dinah kept a modest stock of liquor. “Whiskey?”

  “Yeah, but make it a double.”

  “You look like you’ve already had a few drinks and I’m not in a mood to drive you home.”

  “I’m not drunk.” He gave a short laugh, then muttered, “Maybe I’m just sobering up.”

  She frowned, looking at him for a moment, then poured a small drink. “Here, take it or leave it. And sit down over there on the sofa.”

  “Bossy as ever,” he grumbled, taking the glass.

  There was less likelihood of waking Kendy if they sat on that side of the room, but she didn’t bother explaining. “I need to let Mother know I’m home and then we can talk.”

  With a grunt, he tossed half the whiskey back in one gulp, then went to the sofa. Rachel hesitated, thinking he really looked strange. Maybe he’d had another run-in with Walter. “Where’s Francine?” she asked curiously.

  “I’m not sure.”

  One of Rachel’s eyebrows rose in surprise, but she said nothing before turning and heading for her mother’s room. The door was not quite closed and she could see Dinah’s reading lamp was still on. With a soft knock, she pushed the door open and looked in, but before she spoke, Dinah said, “I heard. What’s up, do you think?”

  “I have no idea, but something’s wrong. He looks like he’s been sleeping in his clothes.”

  “Francine’s probably not as willing to do his laundry as you were.”

  “Mother…”

  “I know, that wasn’t very nice. But I swear, Ted brings out my bitchy side.” She marked a place in her book and put it aside. “How was your date with Cam?”

  “Nice.”

  “Just nice?”

  Rachel couldn’t stop the smile that suddenly bloomed over her whole face. “It was very nice, if you must know.”

  “Then I’ll try not to say I told you so. But—” she smiled wickedly “—I told you so.”

  “He’s sexy, interesting and he really knows how to—” she paused and Dinah’s face brightened in anticipation “—choose wine.”

  With a snort, Dinah picked up her book, opened it and said, “Hopefully, Ted’s problem will be quickly resolved and you can s
end him on his way. But…” she said as she tapped the bookmark against her lips, “isn’t it odd that when he’s in trouble, he heads straight to you?”

  “I don’t know why. He thinks I’m bossy. He just told me so.”

  “Not the best way to get you to solve his problems, is it? And he thinks you’re bossy because he’s such a weakling. Cam, on the other hand, is a real man. He—”

  “Don’t stay up too late,” Rachel said hastily, and closed the door on her mother’s laughter.

  Back in the den, Ted sat with his elbows on his knees, studying his drink. The whiskey bottle sat on the floor beside him and she realized he’d helped himself to another drink. He’d always made it a point to drink in moderation. She could count on the fingers of a single hand the times in their eighteen-year marriage when he’d been drunk.

  She picked up the bottle and took it back to the cabinet. “That’s your limit tonight as long as you’re here, Ted. Now, tell me what’s happened. Why are you here?”

  “Francine’s having dinner with Walter.”

  “And—”

  “I’m afraid she’s having second thoughts about leaving him.”

  “Oh.” Rachel stood for a moment, then moved to the ottoman and sat down facing him. “Did she say so specifically?”

  “More or less.”

  “You’ll have to do better than that for me to get a clear picture.”

  He jiggled the ice in his whiskey. “It’s complicated.”

  “You said yourself I have a better-than-average IQ.”

  He gave a short, totally humorless laugh. “Strange as it seems, I’ve missed that.”

  “Missed what?”

  “Your sarcasm. Hard to believe, but it’s true.”

  She sat back at that. First she was bossy, then she lectured, and now she was sarcastic. He had a whole litany of complaints. But did she often resort to sarcasm? Instead of finding it funny, had he seen it as ridicule? Or a mockery of him?

  “I’ll try to be serious,” she said. “What complicated reason does Francine have for changing her mind?”

  “She hasn’t done it yet, but I’m worried she’s getting there.” He took another taste of whiskey. “I think it’s the money.”

  Now, there’s a real surprise. Oops, sarcasm. “Do you mean the division of assets in her marriage to Walter or the financial problems you’re having? Which is it?”

  “Both. All. Everything.” He blew out a long, whiskey-laden breath and she reeled backward, waving away the smell. He might give the impression that he was mostly unaffected that Francine wasn’t proving as constant as he’d claimed she would be in the beginning, but something was bothering him.

  “I don’t think she anticipated Walter being such a hard-ass,” Ted said. “She thought she could bring him around, get him to split things evenly with her. You know what he told her?”

  “I don’t know, kiss off? In your dreams, Franny? Get real?”

  “He said why should he, as long as she was sleeping with me.”

  “Well, he is the injured party, Ted,” she said.

  “Bottom line,” he said, brushing that aside, “is that the amount his lawyer’s talking is piddling compared to what Francine wants.”

  “And your finances are going to be tied up indefinitely.”

  “Yeah—again—thanks to Walter. Anything to stick it to me,” he said with a shrug, as if it didn’t matter. “So, like I said, it’s made Francine start rethinking everything, which is his sole purpose. Of course, I told her that. He thinks if he holds out, she’ll decide it’s not worth it and come back to him.” His gaze drifted to the piano and the gallery of family photos there, many of them taken by Kendall. “She’s having second thoughts about being a stepmother, too.”

  Now I’m really shocked. But she managed to be silent and show little on her face. “What did she expect? That you’d walk away from your children? Banish them from your life?” Actually, he’d almost done exactly that.

  “I don’t think she thought much about it.”

  “Did you?”

  “Not really.” He met her eyes, and for a moment, she saw the man she’d once thought him to be.

  Rachel got up and moved to the window, where there was a clear view of Cam’s house. The lights in his kitchen were still on and she could see him moving around. Had he helped himself to ice cream after she left? she wondered. As if sensing her, he stopped and they stood looking at each other across the way.

  “What do you want from me, Ted?” she asked without turning.

  “I’m not sure.” He drew in a long breath. “It’s like I’m sort of waking up from some kind of—I won’t call it a nightmare, but a state of suspended consciousness…or something.”

  “Do you still love her?”

  Another short laugh. “The question is, did I ever? And what does it matter now that she’s probably going back to Walter. She’s not like you, Rachel. You’d be more understanding if you were in a relationship that hit a rocky patch. You’d have more…more thought for the feelings of the other partner. For working it out.” He studied his empty glass with a frown. “Francine’s more focused on herself and what she needs. What she wants.”

  “You mean, I’m a doormat and she’s not.”

  He gave her a quick look. “No, no. I meant you’re a kinder human being.”

  “But you fell for a bitchy human being, Ted. I don’t see anything about what’s happened that surprises me, and if you’re honest, you must admit that.” She thought he looked as if he wanted to argue and whether it would be to justify having gotten involved in an affair at all or whether he was toying with the idea of patching things up in their marriage, she didn’t know. She found she didn’t care. “I’m still not sure why you decided to tell me about all this, but it’s late and I’m tired. You look as if you could use a good night’s sleep, too. Go home and go to bed. Sleep on it.”

  “You forget. I don’t have a home.”

  And whose fault is that? But being “a kinder human being,” she left the words unspoken. “You have the lake house, Ted. You forget, it’s the children and I who don’t have a home.”

  For a long moment, his gaze stayed on the empty glass, and then he raised his eyes to hers. “I’ve really screwed up there, haven’t I? With the kids, I mean. I was thinking about that tonight, too. I put them through those visits with Francine and they thought I’d be with her forever, that she’d be their stepmother. I don’t know if I’ve done so much damage that they’ll ever want me to be a part of their lives again. I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out like that.”

  “That’s up to you, too, Ted. Nick and Kendy have only one father and they love you. That’ll never change. But they’ve been hurt and disappointed by what you’ve done. They don’t understand how one day they were part of a traditional family and the next, you left. Just…left. And because of that, their lives were turned upside down.”

  “I never meant to hurt them.”

  It took remarkable restraint not to lash out at him. If he hadn’t meant to hurt them, why had he? No one forced him to leave. It had been a choice made of his desire to have his cake and eat it, too. And it was a little late to be discovering that the price he’d paid was too dear.

  “Unfortunately, they were hurt. You’re right in thinking that it won’t be easy to mend fences. Like other kids with divorced parents, they’ve coped. But, like I said, you’re still their father and children are remarkably forgiving.”

  “You could help…if you were willing to.”

  “I’ve said all along that Nick and Kendy’s welfare comes first with me. I won’t do anything to sabotage your campaign to win them back. But don’t expect forgiveness on my part. I’m only human.”

  “I guess I can’t ask for more than that.”

  “No,” she said dryly. “You can’t.”

  He stood up. “So, I guess it’s not a good time to ask to stay the night, huh?”

  She gave him an incredulous look. “Not even if the
lake house burned to the ground and every motel in town was full.”

  “I guess I deserve that,” he said with a chagrined look.

  “I guess you do.” She watched him get to his feet, moving without his usual confident purpose. Or arrogance. He wouldn’t come out of the affair with Francine unscathed. She’d done a number on him. Or, if what Cam thought was true, Ted had done a number on himself.

  “It’s okay if I go to the bathroom, isn’t it?” He handed her the empty glass.

  “You know where it is.”

  Midway across the den, he stumbled over Kendy’s sneakers. In spite of Rachel’s nagging, she’d left them lying in the middle of the floor. It was an indication of Ted’s distracted state that he barely noticed. Had this happened when they were married, he would have cursed and demanded to know why Rachel couldn’t manage to teach the kids not to leave their things lying around.

  A few minutes later, she heard him come out of the bathroom, but didn’t bother to see him out. He knew the way.

  Nineteen

  The phone call had come sometime in the wee hours of the morning, interrupting Cam’s very good dream featuring hot sex with Rachel, whose long, lithe limbs were wrapped around him and whose lush and delectable mouth was doing things that left him breathing hard and tangled in his sheets. It took a minute before he was awake enough to realize that it was only a dream. And to recognize the voice on the answering machine as Nick’s. His heart thundered in his chest as he fumbled to pick it up. One horrendous call five years ago and for the rest of his life, he reacted with sick panic when the phone rang after midnight.

  “Cam?” Nick’s voice had been pitched at so low a level that Cam strained to hear him. “I guess I woke you up, huh? I’m sorry.”

  “Ah…yeah. I mean, it’s okay.” Up on one elbow and groping for his reading glasses, he blinked to clear his eyes and focused on his bedside clock. It was 2:00 a.m. “What’s the matter, Nick? Is it Dinah?”

  “No, sir. It’s me. I’m at Lake Ray Hubbard.”

  Lake—Nick sat up in bed. “Are you hurt?”

  “No, sir. I’m drunk.”