50 After 50

by Maria Leonard Olsen

  Facilitated more communication among family members

  Learned how to design and make floor cloths

  Took a trip with my ex-sister-in-law to Costa Rica

  Took up yoga

  Worked on nurturing friendships with other empty-nesters

  Joined a movie-going club

  Made a more concerted effort to say yes instead of no

  Sewed 18 pink “pussy hats” to support the National Women’s March

  Became an ESL tutor

  Visited ex-sister-in-law at her house near the bay

  Let go of resentments toward family members

  Took more advantage of things

  Allowed my friend to convince me to do an eyebrow makeover (and then returned to my regular brows)

  Adopted more kittens

  Edited a book

  Took piano lessons

  Used city bikes to get around Boston and other cities

  Started rewarding myself with professional therapeutic massages

  Joined a gym

  Wore more fashionable low-rise undies with my low-rise jeans

  Traveled alone to the U.K.

  Started writing newsletters about my cancer treatment to keep my loved ones up to date

  Joined a support group for women with cancer

  Did a zip line over the treetops, despite my fear

  Tried pot brownies (and promptly fell asleep)

  Wore my pajamas to take someone to the train station without caring about the reactions of others

  Celebrated my 50th birthday in the Caribbean with my three best friends

  Sold clothing on consignment websites

  Learned how to ask for help

  Came to terms with my body as it is, rather than wishing it were thinner

  Finishing my degree for myself, not for other people

  Visited Machu Picchu

  Learned to say what I want

  Gave myself permission to nap when tired

  Learned to accept compliments

  Learned to believe such compliments were true

  Let go of some of the worry about my children

  Took more long, luxurious bubble baths

  Hitchhiked!

  Did a woo-woo spiritual dance class that was outside my comfort zone

  Experimented with new recipes

  Took a tiny prop plane to an island

  Did some kayaking

  Enjoyed the simple pleasure of gardening

  Paid more attention to being grateful, especially for the wonderful doctors and nurses at Dana Farber

  Allowed myself to be adopted by a church group, even though I don’t believe in religion

  Learned to stay hopeful even when cancer lives in my body, and to make the most of each day that I have here

  Sandy Thackston’s List of 60 After 60

  Learned how to be comfortable in solitude

  Caught myself in denial about certain things in my life and let myself see things clearly

  Learned to practice self-care

  Learned to address my codependence

  Did a sugar cleanse

  Took up painting again

  Got some painful but necessary dental work done that I had dreaded and put off for a long time

  Got myself back into the gym

  Got honest about painful things in my life

  Started working on my own problems instead of deflecting by focusing on other people’s problems

  Allowed myself to be pampered at a spa

  Started to get rid of stuff in my house that I no longer need

  Marched in the National Women’s March

  Campaigned for a presidential candidate I believe in

  Campaigned in another state for a presidential candidate

  Joined a women’s group to do what I can to combat the inequality and bigotry the current president espouses

  Sold things on Craigslist

  Coauthored an article about “Bethesda rednecks”

  Started a salon for the exchange of ideas

  Allowed other women to bear witness to my pain

  Gave up smoking

  Gave up vaping

  Wore “wing” eyeliner even though my daughter poked fun at me for doing so

  Successfully lost weight

  Visited the new National Museum for African American History and Culture

  Helped many women who are trying to get sober

  Helped my daughter learn how to do real estate closings

  House trained my dog

  Detached from people who are not serious about their sobriety

  Evaluated what I want my life to look like in five years and made changes necessary to make it that way

  Reclaimed my attic office that had become overstuffed with storage items

  Learned about LGBT issues by listening to my friends’ LGBT radio program

  Started gardening

  Became a confirmation sponsor

  Learned how to stay alone and not be afraid

  Finally realized that I deserve more

  Dealt with my sugar addiction

  Gave up soda

  Curtailed my buying habits

  Read more books

  Became more politically active and aware

  Separated myself from toxic people

  Started cooking meals just for myself

  Gave up social media for Lent

  Had a yard sale and gave away a lot of things I no longer need

  Took a reflection retreat for a week by myself to my friend’s house near the water

  Celebrated my 60th birthday in grand style with my daughters, a fancy hotel suite, and a limo

  Donated to charity a lot of things I have not used in years

  Practiced tough love on a relative who violated our house rules

  Had a long-overdue discussion with a family member about unacceptable behavior

  Dwelled on gratitude for small blessings, like my high-pressure shower head that is so much better than the water-saving one my father made us use when I was growing up

  Got better at accepting compliments without protesting

  Took up walking for exercise

  Learned how to unplug after a certain time each night

  Worked on saying no more often

  Spoke my truth

  Asked for help when I needed it

  Worked with women dedicated to their recovery

  Shed relationships with women who were not dedicated to their recovery

  Researched other possibilities for my career path

  More Things I Would Like to Experience in the Years Ahead

  Give a TedTalk

  Take a lifesaving course

  Go to an ashram

  Go on a silent retreat

  Learn how to do a handstand (not strong enough to do so, yet!)

  See the Northern Lights

  Go to Angkor Wat in Cambodia

  Take a cooking course in Italy with my best friend

  Rent a house in Tuscany

  Live abroad

  Take a boat safety course

  Visit Mauritius, the Canary Islands, Portugal, Prague, Istanbul, Tibet, Belize, the Grenadines, Banff, the Maldives, Egypt, Bora Bora, Anguilla, Barcelona, Antarctica, Virgin Gorda, the Seychelles, Mallorca and Petra, Jordan

  Attend an Asian lantern festival and release a lantern into the sky

  See a moose in the wild (believe me, I have tried!)

  Experience the community at a Burning Man festival in the California desert

  Paint a huge canvas, bigge
r than myself

  Be a guest on the Today Show

  Go to a Rolling Stones concert

  Tour the United States in a recreational vehicle

  Listen more often than talk

  Get my scuba certification

  Hear the Dalai Lama speak

  Try an Omega retreat and one at Kripalu and Shambhala Mountain Center

  Retire somewhere warm

  Become proficient at another language

  Revisit the children’s library I helped to build in the poorest region of Nepal

  Beat my sugar addiction

  Tap maple syrup from a tree

  Stare up at the tall trees of the Redwood forest

  Make a soufflé

  Go sand skiing

  Visit the 14 states I have not yet spent any time in

  Host grandparent camp for my grandchildren (if I am lucky enough to have grandchildren!)

  Drive a snowmobile

  Try snowboarding

  Learn how to paint believable-looking clouds and water

  Visit the largest living tortoises in the Galapagos Islands (Ecuador)

  Spend some time in the town reputed to be the happiest place in America: San Luis Obispo, California (according to author and National Geographic lecturer Dan Buettner)

  Learn calligraphy

  Ride on a camel

  Watch the wild pony migration in Assateague, Maryland

  Successfully propagate succulent plants

  Ride on Pacific Coast Highway 1 between Los Angeles and San Francisco on a motorcycle

  Stay in a yurt in Big Sur

  Create something beautiful out of glass mosaic

  See Niagara Falls from the Canadian side

  Write a 60 After 60 book, and continue the series for other decades

  Watch my former foster son graduate from college and do what I can to help him get there

  Complete a long-term volunteer project (possibly the Peace Corps)

  Grow my own vegetables

  Be more intentional about anything I purchase. Consider whether it is a want or a need.

  Learn how to eat slowly and put my fork down between every bite, savoring the flavors

  Participate in the Holi Festival of Colors (a Hindu color festival involving the throwing of colored powder in a joyful celebration and/or color run)

  Learn how to belly dance

  Learn how to play a guitar

  Find lost relatives

  Experience zero gravity

  Participate in a flash mob dance

  Have no regrets

  Stay open to more possibilities and viewpoints

  Practice self-care

  Try hang-gliding

  Float in the Dead Sea

  Successfully be able to do the crow and other challenging positions in yoga

  Learn more about Judaism and incorporate Shabbat practice into my life

  Go sky diving from an airplane

  Meander through the dramatic slot canyons of Antelope Canyon on Navajo land in Arizona

  Bake fresh bread from scratch

  Try riding on a luge sled

  Ride an ATV

  Let my children learn from their mistakes instead of trying to continually make things easier for them

  Become more immersed in Buddhist principles

  Check my ego and intentions more often

  Find more ways to be of service to others

  Let more days unfold without a plan

  Be more present

  Other Things I Have Done Before Turning 50 That I Highly Recommend if You Haven’t Tried These Already

  Have a dialogue with someone very different from yourself (for example, from another culture, political persuasion, nonconforming gender) and listen with an open mind to their point of view. See if you can find common ground.

  Mentor and/or foster someone

  Scuba (even a resort/discovery dive)

  Bike in Provence or in the California wine country

  Visit the Taj Mahal at dawn, before the crowds arrive

  Go whitewater rafting

  Go inner tubing down a lazy river

  View the Alaskan glaciers

  Try stand-up paddle-boarding

  Schedule in play time; do something completely frivolous

  Give away things you have not used in the last year

  Go to a planetarium or gaze through a powerful telescope at the stars and planets

  Try surfing

  Build a life-sized sand sculpture

  Experience the energy of a Bruce Springsteen concert (or of any musician whose music you love). I recommend Bruce Springsteen because I have never seen an artist push himself or herself so long in concert.

  Watch movies outdoors

  Go parasailing

  Jump on a trampoline

  Visit caverns (like Luray Caverns) and marvel at the stalactites and stalagmites

  Spend time with puppies and kittens

  Feel the resonant organ music in one of the world’s great cathedrals

  Go kayaking

  Pay it forward in some way, anonymously

  Roast marshmallows or some other food on an open fire

  Try fly-fishing

  Hold a baby. Breathe in deeply when you do. There is nothing like the smell of a baby.

  Treat yourself to a massage, especially a foot massage

  Try a new type of art

  Watch a child see a sparkler for the first time

  Marvel at Michelangelo’s artwork on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel at the Vatican

  Sleep under the stars

  Enjoy sunset on a beach (as many as you can!)

  Play with baby animals

  Forgive

  Fall asleep or just rest in a hammock

  Go cross-country skiing

  Go snowshoeing

  Stand up for someone who lacks the courage or ability to do so

  Serve in a soup kitchen or another charitable endeavor

  Read to those who cannot do so

  Try downhill skiing

  Go water skiing

  Fly across the water on a jet ski

  Ride in a horse-drawn carriage

  Do some hula hooping

  Try the flying trapeze

  Watch the wildebeest migration across Ngorongoro crater

  Meet some tribal people, like the Masai

  Swim under a waterfall

  Learn a new dance, like the tango, jitterbug, salsa, or samba. Go ballroom dancing.

  Learn how to play an instrument

  Marvel at the enormity of the Grand Canyon

  See a Broadway show

  Reread a classic piece of literature (I love how it seems different as I age. I laughed out loud as an adult when I reread The Catcher in the Rye.)

  Take in the spirituality of a Buddhist temple

  Experience life in another country or culture that differs from yours

  Lend your company to someone who is sick and/or lonely

  Get outside of your comfort zone

  Ride in a hot air balloon

  Go snorkeling

  Watch a glass-blower practice his craft

  Ride an elephant

  Walk the Highline elevated park in Manhattan

  Travel to an underserved or poverty-stricken area. See what you can do to help.

  Visit a nursing home and listen to some of the residents

  Allow yourself to have an appointment with a therapist. Talk about something you have never shared before with anyone.

  Visit the Louvre Museum in Paris
and any other great museums of the world

  Sail

  Clean out your abode and give things away, recycle or discard them so that when you die, no one else has to do it

  Go ice skating, roller blading, or roller skating

  Lie in the grass, listen to the sounds around you and look at the clouds

  Watch a living creature hatch from an egg

  Attend an opera, symphony, and at least one ballet performance

  Visit our country’s National Parks

  Try glamping

  Eat something fresh from a garden

  Go canoeing

  Let a day unfold with no plans whatsoever

  Make something with your hands

  Go to Jazzfest in New Orleans (less crazy than Mardi Gras, with great music and food)

  Swim with dolphins

  Hand write an old-fashioned thank-you letter to someone you appreciate, like a former teacher, a good friend, or a family member

  Watch hummingbirds, butterflies, and woodpeckers do their thing

  Disconnect from all electronics for a period of time

  Relax in a natural hot spring

  Pick up trash whenever you take a walk. Think of it as a random act of kindness toward others and Mother Earth

  Plant a garden

  Try geocaching

  Go on a retreat, whether organized by others or just to be away from your routine

  Listen to someone much older than yourself describe what his or her life used to be like and the changes he or she has seen in his or her lifetime

  Take a ride in a helicopter and/or a propeller plane

  Sleep on a boat and let gentle waves rock you to sleep

  Hike up a mountain or hill, or through a forest

  Try a ropes course and/or ziplining

  Quit taking it personally (“Q.T.I.P.”)

  Go to comedy shows, especially improv

  Ride on a moped, scooter, or minibike

  Walk or run a 5k, 10k, or marathon

  Go mountain biking

  Adopt or foster an animal that needs a home (if there is a kitten café anywhere near you, it is fun to watch the cats while you eat or drink to see which feline may be a good fit for you), and bring that animal, if possible, to visit animal lovers who cannot keep pets where they are living

  Make peace with your childhood, lest it continue to affect your present life, even unconsciously

  Check out a curated storytelling event (like The Moth or Story-league)

  Make a vision board of what you want your life to look like

  Draft a mission statement for your life. Reevaluate your current circumstances and decide whether you would like to change anything.