Abiding Ink (Inked in the Steel City #4)

by Ranae Rose

  “Yeah, what about her?” Tyler’s voice.

  It sounded like she’d walked in on a conversation, but no reply came.

  “So what is it?” he asked after a few silent seconds. “I’m not going to waterboard you, for fuck’s sake. Just stop looking at me like you think I’m going to hurt you and tell me what’s wrong.”

  Mallory froze. He definitely wasn’t talking to her. Which meant that someone else was in the kitchen.

  “It’s just…” Another male voice came from around the corner. “You’re going to be pissed. Say what you want now, but I know you are. I’ve been trying to work up the guts to tell you ever since I got here, but I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to ruin Christmas, you know, but after spending last night with everyone at mom and dad’s, I don’t think I can get through tomorrow with it eating away at me. I gotta tell you.”

  The second voice had to be Tyler’s brother.

  “So tell me,” Tyler said.

  “Okay. She’s … she’s pregnant.”

  In the silence that ensued, Mallory could’ve heard a pin drop. Instead, she heard the thump of something hard – a coffee mug, maybe – against the countertop.

  “You sure?” Tyler asked.

  No words, just a sigh that sounded like it had come from Tyler. Maybe his brother had nodded.

  “And if you’re telling me, I guess that means she plans to keep the baby.”

  “Yeah. Yeah, she seemed… I mean yeah, she sounded pretty sure about it when she told me.”

  Silently thanking her lucky stars that her feet made no sound against the carpet, Mallory backed up, clutching her towel tightly as she disappeared into Tyler’s bedroom. Once inside, she simply stood, dumbstruck. Pregnant? Who?

  Someone Tyler’s brother had slept with? Someone Tyler had slept with? The thought hit her like a cold bolt of lightning to the heart, sending her breath rushing past her lips in a little gasp.

  His brother had been so sure that the news would upset Tyler. Why? Because of brotherly concern, or personal interest? Mallory’s stomach roiled even though it was empty and she was telling herself not to be stupid, not to jump to conclusions she had no right to draw.

  Beyond the bedroom door, they were still talking, their voices low, muffled by distance. For several long moments, Mallory was tempted to draw near the door, lean on the frame and listen to what they were saying. Eavesdropping would be easy, and the notion called to her like a siren, urging her to either put her fears to rest … or have them validated.

  Instead, she pushed the door shut, softly but all the way. She wouldn’t be that woman. She wouldn’t let suspicion control her, wouldn’t sneak around putting her nose where it didn’t belong because she was afraid of being betrayed. A part of her wanted to … but no. No, she was above that. Barely.

  Picking her clothing up from the floor, she dressed quickly in what she’d worn the night before. When that was done, she pulled the elastic from her hair, freeing it from the knot she’d swept it up into in order to keep it out of the shower spray. It bounced around her shoulders, finally free, and she sank onto the bed, lowering her hands into her lap.

  She’d give Tyler and his brother a few minutes – whatever was going on, they clearly needed them.

  Time dragged by. Glancing at the digital clock on the nightstand every few seconds didn’t help. As she sat alone, memories of lying tangled with Tyler the night before flooded back to her.

  The night had been amazing – there was no denying that. He’d been amazing. To her shame, a tiny part of her wondered what that meant – how often he did things like this, how many other women had been drawn in by his blue eyes and sexy tattoos, his perfect body…

  They hadn’t talked about their pasts. They hadn’t talked about much at all the night before, besides dancing chocolates and silly jokes that had seemed fun at the time but made her feel stupid now. She’d definitely fallen head over heels and now that it was time to stand up again, it felt like the ground was shifting beneath her. The word “pregnant” kept echoing through her mind, reminding her how serious such encounters could be, and she hated feeling insecure.

  When she couldn’t take it any longer, she rose and made her way down the hall, purposely making noise so they’d know she was coming.

  CHAPTER 9

  “Mallory.” Tyler’s eyes locked with hers the instant she rounded the corner and entered the kitchen. “Find everything all right?”

  She nodded, seeing that he’d prepared breakfast while she’d showered, just like he’d promised. “Yeah.”

  “This is my brother, Dustin.” He gestured toward the guy standing to his left. Tall and blue-eyed, he was like a younger, leaner version of Tyler, only without tattoos. “Sorry I didn’t warn you – I didn’t know he’d be here so early.”

  “It’s fine,” she said, more grateful than ever that she hadn’t skipped out into the kitchen and dropped her towel. “Nice to meet you, Dustin.”

  “Hi.” Dustin’s eyes went wide for a few seconds, and she tried not to think about what that might mean.

  Maybe he was just surprised that she’d spent the night. She should really stop trying to read so deeply into things.

  “You eat breakfast yet?” Tyler asked Dustin.

  “Nah. Wasn’t hungry.”

  “Mallory and I were just about to eat.” Tyler frowned, as if he were deliberating whether to invite Dustin to join them.

  “I could, uh, go grab something to eat somewhere I guess. There any place that serves breakfast near here?”

  “Please, don’t feel like you have to leave because of me,” Mallory said. “I need to get going soon anyway.”

  She really did. Mostly because what she’d overheard was still bouncing around inside her head, setting her on edge. Standing there with Tyler and Dustin, it wasn’t like she could just bring it up. What they’d been discussing had been private and she didn’t even want them to know she’d overheard, let alone butt into their business. Just the thought was embarrassing. She should leave, catch a breath of fresh air and get home. She didn’t really know Tyler all that well – a revelation Dustin’s presence emphasized – and she felt like she’d overstayed her welcome.

  “I mean it – I can go if you want,” Dustin said, casting a wary glance at Tyler. “Don’t wanna be the third wheel.”

  “Like I said, I’ll be leaving soon. If anything, I’m the third wheel.” Thoughts of dropping her towel and messing around in the kitchen seemed worlds away, now. Already, she was thinking of the drive home.

  Tyler caught her eye, and for a second, he looked like he was about to say something.

  He didn’t.

  She wished he had.

  “Eggs are in the fridge if you want to fry yourself up some,” Tyler said to Dustin. Turning to face the counter, he picked up two plates. “Here, Mallory.”

  She sat at the table and ate with him, accepting a cup of coffee as she started on the scrambled eggs and toast. When he set the lidless sugar jar in the center of the table, her stomach tied itself in knots as memories from the night before came crashing down on her.

  She hated that they seemed bittersweet now, that the boldness and exhilaration she’d felt the night before were tainted by worry. She hadn’t even left his apartment, and already, she was second-guessing the eagerness that had felt so right the night before.

  Maybe she wasn’t cut out for taking chances.

  Tyler caught her eye from across the table, and her heart melted a little as it sped, fluttering nervously against her ribs. No, she definitely wasn’t cut out for it. She wasn’t a risk-taker, she was … careful.

  Except this time, she hadn’t been. And when Tyler looked at her like that – hell, looked at her at all – she realized that she was playing with high stakes, whether she’d meant to or not. She was pretty sure her heart couldn’t handle it.

  * * * * *

  “You know she left because you showed up, right?” Tyler said, setting down his empty coffee cup and shooting
Dustin a hard look, unable to repress his irritation. Mallory had eaten a quick breakfast, grabbed her coat and purse and left. After a night spent tangled with her – lost in her – he felt her absence like he’d felt the winter chill when she’d opened the door and walked out.

  “How do you know? Maybe she would’ve left anyway.” Dustin sat at the table in front of a massive pile of ketchup-covered scrambled eggs – eggs he hadn’t touched.

  Barely biting back a “fuck you”, Tyler cleared his dishes from the table, depositing them in the sink. Dustin’s remark hit a nerve he’d rather pretend didn’t exist. The night he and Mallory had spent together had been amazing. White-hot and intense. And she’d definitely enjoyed it – he knew he wasn’t delusional about that. He could still feel her pussy clenching tight and hot around his dick, when he thought about it. It was enough to make him hard again, but doubt cooled him quickly.

  She hadn’t seemed half as happy when she’d walked into the kitchen after her shower that morning as she’d seemed the night before. She hadn’t seemed happy at all, really. Had he messed up somehow, or had she been pissed to find Dustin there?

  “Sorry man,” Dustin said. “I couldn’t stand hanging around mom and dad’s with a big storm cloud over my head. I had to tell someone.”

  “Yeah, well.” Deep down, Tyler actually did feel a tiny twinge of pity for Dustin. Really deep down, beneath his anger. Finally, Dustin was facing serious consequences for his jackass behavior – he’d gotten a girl pregnant. Some chick who went to the same university he did, who he’d been dating for all of one month. “Wish I could say I’m surprised. What are you going to do?”

  “I don’t know.” The bravado faded from Dustin’s voice, making him sound even younger than he really was. “What can I do?”

  “I guess you’ll have to do whatever it takes. To be there for the girl, I mean. And the baby. Your girlfriend a senior too?” He could only hope she was about to graduate, that they hadn’t fucked her out of an education. Maybe she’d finish her degree before she had the baby.

  “Nah. She’s a junior.”

  It figured. “Well, you’re about to graduate. Guess now you have plenty of motivation to find a job.”

  “Yeah, but… I don’t know anything about babies. I don’t even—”

  “So what? The baby’s on the way, right? What does it matter if you know anything about them? You’re going to have to learn, because no way are you going to leave that girl out in the cold. You got her pregnant, so it’s your kid too. That’s just the way it is.” He practically barked his feelings at Dustin. The reality of the situation was what it was – Dustin needed to accept it.

  “Yeah,” Dustin said eventually. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Man, I just…”

  Tyler rinsed his plate, fork and coffee cup in a stream of hot water. “How long have you known?”

  “She told me just before winter break. She came to my dorm and dropped the bomb and was on her way to Akron an hour later to spend the holidays with her family. That was the last time I saw her.”

  “You talk to her since then?”

  Dustin nodded. “A little. She said she’s gonna tell her family before she comes back for the spring semester.”

  “When are you going to tell mom and dad?”

  “I dunno. They’ll be pissed. Maybe I should wait until after Christmas – like the day after. What do you think?”

  “Sounds fine to me.” He didn’t really want to spend Christmas day watching his parents and Dustin go at each other’s throats, either. Dustin’s announcement would be like a bucket of ice water thrown over all the holiday cheer – it wasn’t like anyone in the family would have any delusions about him being ready for fatherhood.

  “Yeah. Hey…” Dustin shoved a forkful of eggs into his mouth. “Thanks.”

  “For what – not kicking your ass?”

  “For listening. But yeah, that too. I thought you might after your girlfriend left. Man, she’s hot.”

  Like he needed Dustin to tell him that. “Say anything else about her and I will kick your ass.”

  There was no question that she was hot, but he couldn’t stop wondering why she’d cooled toward him overnight, why she’d left without so much as brushing her lips across his when she’d spent the entire night so close to him that he’d barely been able to tell where he ended and she began.

  * * * * *

  Turning Christmas Eve into a mother-daughter girls’ night out had seemed like a good idea. After all, Mallory and her mother would be getting up early the next morning to cook, cook and cook some more, all so that the big dinner would be ready shortly after Danielle and Kevin arrived. The gift exchange would come afterward. In light of all the upcoming work, heading out for dinner had held a certain appeal, and so they’d gone to their favorite hibachi grill.

  Now, snowflakes drifted down around them, settling on the asphalt and forming a fine film that hinted at a white Christmas. It was beautiful and festive, and dinner had been delicious. Mallory should’ve been counting her blessings. Instead, a distinct sense of melancholy gnawed at her from the inside, making her middle feel hollow despite the fact that she’d indulged in more hibachi shrimp and sushi than usual. The feeling had been plaguing her all day, ever since she’d left Tyler’s apartment.

  She hadn’t spoken to him since then. What was the usual protocol for after-date contact when a date turned into a wild night in – and out – of bed? She wasn’t sure, mostly because that was something she never allowed to happen. After the morning’s turn of events, she was determined to cool her passion for her own sake – to get her head on straight – and so she didn’t call, even though her fingertips ached to dial his number.

  And he hadn’t called, either. Maybe he had other things on his mind. Like a surprise pregnancy.

  The thought drifted through her consciousness like an errant snowflake, a small but chilling possibility that she hated herself for dwelling on. As she made her way across the parking lot with her mother, she felt too much like her mother for comfort.

  Was this really who she was – an insecure, suspicious woman who spent all day with her stomach in knots because she suspected the man she was crazy about just might have intimate ties to someone else? She’d spent years vowing not to ever be that girl, not to gamble with more than she was willing to lose. Only now, as she thought of Tyler – his blue eyes, his body that was hard and tattooed in all the right places and most of all, his addictive sweetness – she felt like she was losing her mind, piece by charmed piece.

  Worst of all was the fact that deep down, she knew it wasn’t the conversation she’d overheard that bothered her. Dustin had almost certainly been talking about his own life – he’d probably gotten a girlfriend or maybe even a near-stranger pregnant. If that was the case, there was nothing strange about the fact that he’d gone to his older brother for advice, or maybe just to be listened to. Mallory wasn’t really worried that some woman was running around carrying Tyler’s baby.

  She was worried over how she’d reacted when the possibility – however unlikely or fleeting – had occurred to her, though. The very idea had filled her with an instant dread, a near-panic that had made her feel like she’d been robbed of something precious. In that instant, she’d realized how crazy she was over Tyler. And it had scared her. It still scared her.

  She’d never meant to fall for him so quickly. Hell, she wasn’t sure if she’d meant to fall so hard for anyone, ever. For the past eight years, she’d witnessed daily what a gamble love could be – what exactly one was putting on the line when they granted someone a special place in their heart. Really loving someone was like becoming one half of a whole, and if they were torn away – if they walked away – you were left incomplete, a broken piece.

  And some people never recovered from that. Namely, her mother.

  Mallory didn’t want to be like that. Ever. Up until today, she hadn’t thought she’d had the capacity for such lasting unhappiness, such stagnation. But she
hadn’t thought she could fall head over heels so quickly for anyone either, so who knew what treacherous feats her heart was capable of?

  “I’m glad we decided to go out,” Mallory’s mother said as they climbed the flight of stairs to their floor. “It took my mind off tomorrow.”

  Mallory nearly froze in her tracks. “Took your mind off Christmas? I thought you couldn’t wait to have Danielle and Kevin over to celebrate?”

  “I can’t wait to see them. I guess I’m just worried your father will try to stir up something.”

  Here we go again. As she emerged at the top of the stairs, Mallory felt like she was stepping onto an old, creaky carousel – one she didn’t want to ride. “He won’t, mom. I talked to him. He understands.” Maybe that was an exaggeration, but she was reasonably confident that her dad wouldn’t butt in and cause trouble tomorrow.

  “If you say so. Anyway, the flounder was good. And I think the hibachi chef slipped us a few extra shrimp because of you. That new boyfriend of yours had better watch out.”

  Mallory almost laughed, then found herself repressing a sigh as Tyler flooded her memory. As she thought of him, she couldn’t even remember what the hibachi chef had looked like. “I think you’re right about the extra shrimp. Maybe he was just feeling the holiday spirit.” After unzipping her purse, Mallory began to rummage for her key ring.

  “Well, either way I—”

  “You what?” Mallory glanced up at her mother.

  “Our door is open. Did you leave our door open?”

  “No.” A spike of anxiety pierced Mallory’s consciousness as she snapped her gaze to the door. Her eye was instantly drawn to the strip of light that shone where the door was open – if just barely – by about an inch. “I locked up. I remember doing it.”

  She did. So what—

  The door swung inward with a faint creak of hinges, and Mallory’s heart leapt into her throat as a shape appeared in the doorway. “Mom!” She threw out an arm without really thinking as the shape – a man – barreled toward them. Her hand hit something soft and she gripped her mother’s coat sleeve, attempting to pull her closer, out of the way.