Wanting It

by Scarlet Wilder

  He winked at me and found a seat two rows behind us, and my breath caught in my throat. Mom looked at me, and then looked over her shoulder at Jake, waving at him. Then she looked back at me quizzically, and her eyes narrowed.

  I didn’t have to say anymore. I think she knew at that moment. But we didn’t have time to go into it because the minister appeared with a lei of plumerias around his neck, and a man next to him began to strum on a ukulele.

  I bit my lip. I was dying to whisper something to Mom about how we’d stepped into the most clichéd Hawaiian wedding in the world, but I stopped myself. The minister beamed and lifted his hands, bringing us all to our feet.

  The ukulele player started to strum, and I was sure I knew the song from somewhere. Then, when I realized what it was, I had to drop my head and place a hand over my mouth to stop myself from snorting with laughter. I glanced at Mia, and she was laughing, too, shoving her elbow into my ribs. Mom threw us the evil eye.

  “It’s the Kings of Leon,” I whispered to her. “Clea’s walking down the aisle to Sex on Fire.”

  Even Mom had to smile at that, but she made us compose ourselves just in time to see Clea turn the corner and begin to walk down the aisle on her father’s arm.

  She looked absolutely stunning, there was no denying it. She wore a slim-fitting white fishtail gown, a long train sliding over the grass as she walked toward Brandon. I looked at my big brother and, when I saw the grin on his face and the tears in his eyes, I found I started to well up, too.

  Mom was already making her way through a second pack of tissues and, by the time we sat down, her mascara was coursing down her face.

  The ceremony was beautiful, and as Brandon and Clea said their personal vows to each other I couldn’t help but think about what my own wedding day would look like, and who’d be standing opposite me, listening to every word as I told him that I’d love him for the rest of my life, until death did us part.

  I knew I shouldn’t have been thinking about it, but I couldn’t help imagine what it would be like if Jake was the one I said those words to. It was ridiculous, of course, but just thinking it made my stomach flutter.

  †

  The most tedious part of any wedding has to be the photographs.

  As part of the wedding party, we featured in one or two, but it wasn’t long before Mom and I were no longer needed as the photographer, a grumpy woman who didn’t like to be kept waiting, announced she was taking Brandon and Clea for a walk on the beach to get their official shots.

  I watched them walk away, my brother and his new wife, hand in hand, and I was truly happy for them. They seemed to make each other happy and, in the end, that was all that really mattered.

  “I could kill for a cocktail,” Mia moaned. “It’s sweltering.”

  “They have canapés and cocktails inside,” I said. “We need to be thinking about going in shortly anyway. The mosquitoes are going to eat us alive.”

  It was a good excuse for me to slowly walk away from the wedding gathering and back toward the hotel. Inside the reception room, there was already soft music playing, and a waiter with a tray offered me a glass of champagne. I took it gratefully and wondered where there might be a bathroom for me to go and freshen up.

  Then I caught sight of Jake standing at the bar, a cool beer in his hand. I couldn’t resist walking over to him.

  He grinned as he saw me, his gaze slowly burning over my body. He looked up and gave me a nod of approval that made me shiver. He leaned in to kiss me on the cheek. “You look fucking delicious in that dress,” he whispered in my ear.

  I could feel the heat creeping up my neck, quickly reaching my cheeks. I wanted to kick myself for being so obvious around him. Instead, I tried to act cool, thanking him and asked what he thought of the wedding.

  “It was nice,” he said. “I’m happy for Brandon. Only…”

  “Only what?”

  “Only I wasn’t thinking about the wedding. I spent most of my time thinking about you, in that little number you’re wearing.”

  My mouth curled into a smile and before I knew what was happening, he took my hand and led me out of the reception room. He seemed to know where he was going and I wasn’t about to do anything but follow him.

  He opened a door and we slipped into an empty office. He turned the key in the lock, grinned at me, and slowly walked over to where I was standing.

  “Did you have this planned?” I asked, laughing as he reached me.

  “Saw a guy come out of there just now,” he grinned. “And then, when you showed up, let’s just say the timing couldn’t have been better.”

  His hands were on my ass, and my arms were around his neck. We didn’t waste any time. There was no denying how much we wanted each other, and the heat had been building since we’d seen each other before the ceremony.

  He was strong and lifted me up against the wall. His hands moved up my thighs, pushing my dress up until my panties were exposed. He pulled them down, and as he moved against me, I could feel how hard he already was.

  Within seconds, he released himself of his pants, and then he was inside me, taking my breath away. He felt so good, and I cried out into his mouth as he fucked me hard against the wall, holding me up by my ass with his huge hands. His tongue was in my mouth as his hips moved back and forth.

  I don’t know how I managed to stay so quiet that we didn’t get caught, because all I wanted to do was cry out his name over and over as he moved in and out of me.

  We were desperate for each other, urgently kissing, devouring each other’s mouths. He filled me so completely that I became lightheaded. My core throbbed with pleasure as his cock grazed against my clit with every thrust, and within just a few moments, I felt my orgasm building.

  The short stubble of his beard grazed my face as his tongue danced around my mouth. I pulled away slightly and pressed my eyes shut. As I came, I cried out softly before biting his shoulder.

  Within seconds, he followed, pumping his seed into me. He made me see stars, and he stayed inside me for several moments, breathing heavily, kissing my neck. Finally, he came out of me and zipped up his pants.

  I grabbed a Kleenex from a box on the desk and cleaned myself before tossing it in the trash. “I can’t imagine too many people have done that kind of thing in here,” I giggled, now a little shy as I pulled my dress back down.

  He kissed me again, and this time it was slow, and long, and went on for an age.

  “I want to dance with you tonight,” he breathed as he lifted his head.

  “We’ll do more than just dance,” I promised. “I’m spending the night at your place.”

  He grinned, and he slipped out of the room, joining the party as I went to the bathroom.

  Then I had to find Mia and my mom and pretend that everything was completely normal and that I hadn’t just had steamy mind-blowing sex in the office down the hall.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  JAKE

  †

  SHE WAS BEGINNING TO drive me fucking crazy!

  My lust for her didn’t seem to know any bounds and, only when she was in my arms, did I begin to feel that the world made sense. For so long I’d been looking for something in my life, and I thought that the camera would find it, or that I’d locate it somewhere up a mountain, buried deep under a mound of snow.

  But, what I was searching for had been here all along, only I hadn’t been able to see it until now.

  Sounds poetic, huh? Even I think it’s a little nuts, but that’s how quickly Nikki got under my skin and wouldn’t leave. I’d traveled across America to get to my best friend’s wedding but, on the day, my only thoughts were of Nikki.

  When she went to give the newlyweds a hug and I watched her stride across the lawn, legs for days in that light blue dress doing all kinds of wonderful to her ass, I was hard. I had to put my damn camera on my lap just to hide it.

  I hate photographing weddings. When I first started out in this business, it was all people wanted. It�
�s a great place to start a career, but it certainly wasn’t something I wanted to do long-term. But, even though Brandon knew that, and he and Clea got a professional wedding photographer, I still took my camera along and got a few good shots in.

  More than most of them involved Nikki, and I found I was zooming in on her, cutting out the newly married couple altogether.

  Seeing the guy come out of the little office was a godsend and, once Nikki came to find me, there was no question of the two of us disappearing in there. Taking off her panties and having her against the wall was the highlight of my day, that’s for sure.

  And later that night, when all the champagne was drunk and the newlyweds were in the honeymoon suite, Nikki was back in my bed.

  Not to be smug or anything, but I’d put good money on us having had the best sex of the night in that hotel.

  We only had two more days together. Once the magic of Hawaii was left behind as we lifted off the runway, things were surely going to change. It’s one thing to meet while on a tropical holiday where there are no managers breathing down your neck or deadlines to meet, and it’s another to get back to the real world and carry on.

  For now, we didn’t need to talk about that. We only needed to worry about the next moment. I’m not sure what excuse Nikki gave to her mom and Mia about where she was, but she certainly spent plenty of time with me. I wanted her every second of the day, and could never have enough. She straddled me in the hammock first thing in the morning, before the rest of the guests were awake, and I pleasured her on the sand under palm trees after the sun had gone down and the only noise to cover her moans were the crickets chirping in the grass.

  She sure had a healthy sexual appetite.

  On Sunday night, Brandon and Clea were ready to leave for their honeymoon. As though the ten days in Hawaii they’d had before the wedding weren’t enough, they were jetting off to Mauritius for another two weeks.

  So, that evening we all gathered in the reception hall to wave them goodbye. Brandon looked like he had something on his mind, and I wondered why he wasn’t smiling as broadly as Clea was. When we hugged, and I clapped him on the back, I asked him if he was okay.

  “I don’t want to talk to you right now,” he said, and I stepped back and looked at him. As everyone busied themselves around the bride, I pulled Brandon to one side of the bar and asked him what he meant.

  “I saw you last night,” he snarled. “I was walking along the beach, waiting for Clea. She went back to get something in the villa, and there you were, on a towel. You and my sister.”

  I knew exactly what he was talking about. I wasn’t sure at what point Brandon had seen us but, whenever it was, he couldn’t have been happy. I didn’t say anything, only slowly nodded my head and looked at him, waiting for him to continue.

  “My fucking sister,” he said, and he practically spat the words at me. “Dude, that’s so totally wrong I can’t even find the words. And you’re here to celebrate my wedding?”

  He was right when he said he couldn’t find the words. He opened his mouth again and nothing came out. He shook his head and his wide eyes conveyed all I needed to know. I was about to rest a hand on his shoulder and placate him when something inside me made me realize I had no reason to explain myself.

  Choosing my words carefully, I looked at Brandon, his eyes still filled with anger. “You’re my best friend…,” I started, “…and I’d never go out of my way to hurt you. But what you need to understand is that this has nothing to do with you. We’re adults, and I care a lot about Nikki.”

  “Care a lot about Nikki?” Brandon repeated, laughing sarcastically. “You’ve never cared about any woman. I’ve never even seen you take a girl on a second date. We were both pretty wild in college, but I settled down. You never did. You’re the same entitled asshole you always were, and I won’t let you treat my sister in the same way.”

  “You won’t let me?” I asked, my voice low. I could feel my jaw clenching. “Your sister’s a grown woman. A beautiful woman. And we’re enjoying spending time together. It’s nothing to do with what we may have been like before, and who knows what’s going to happen tomorrow? But, my friend, you don’t get to tell either of us what we can or cannot do with each other. Look at your wife. Her brother was your best man. He’s not acting like a jerk about you nailing his sister.”

  With that, Brandon’s cheeks flushed red, and he reminded me a lot of Nikki at that moment, only Brandon’s blushes were neither cute nor innocent. He was mad.

  “We’re married,” he said, every word a hoarse whisper. “You’ll never know the kind of respect I have for my wife. You only ever chew women up and spit them out.”

  I took a deep breath and forced myself to step back as this was not going to end well.

  “That’s where you’re wrong,” I simply said with a pat on his shoulder. I turned and left.

  I searched for Nikki in the crowd but couldn’t see her.

  I was mad as hell, and I needed to get away. So I went to my hotel room and sat on the balcony, sipping on a scotch from the minibar. I needed to talk with Nikki, tell her about what Brandon had said. Maybe we should’ve spoken to Brandon earlier.

  But, then my mind changed once more, and I decided that it was none of Brandon’s goddamn business who his sister slept with. If I had a sister maybe I’d be just as protective of them as Brandon was now being over Nikki.

  The whole damn mess went back and forth in my mind. I hated being so conflicted.

  Fucking hell!

  So, when the phone rang in my pocket a few minutes later, it brought some relief.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  NIKKI

  †

  HE LEFT.

  Without a single word, without a phone call, without so much as a text message. When I went up to his hotel room, trying to find him after Brandon and Clea left for their honeymoon, the cleaner was already turning down the bed, and all of Jake’s things had gone. I asked her where he was.

  “Mister Matthews left an hour ago,” she said. “We have to clean the room.”

  “No!” I wanted to scream at her. “This is where I became a woman, goddammit! You can’t just tear the sheets away as though they don’t mean anything!”

  Naturally, though, I said nothing. I only asked if she’d seen whether he might have left anything for me. A letter or a number to call.

  She reached into the front pocket of her white uniform and brought out a yellow square of paper, the kind you’d find on a block of other yellow papers beside the hotel phone. She passed it to me and I read the words scrawled on there.

  Nikki! Have to leave. Take care. Thanks for an amazing time! J.

  And with that, my world seemed to collapse. I’d imagined the two of us spending the last few hours of the vacation together, making plans to meet up once we got home. Maybe even sitting on the same flight back to Nebraska. I certainly didn’t imagine the most wonderful days of my life would be reduced to twelve words on a post-it note. I scrunched it up and was about to throw it back into the trash bag, but then changed my mind.

  I forced a small smile and thanked her before I turned around, clutching the paper in my hand and making my way back to the villa.

  I was numb as I sat down on the side of my bed. I uncurled the small piece of paper and read the words repeatedly. I even held the damn thing to the light in case there was a hidden message on it. I sniffed it, wondering if there was a scent of his cologne, but there was nothing.

  I scrunched it up again, only to open it once more. I felt like howling with pain. In the end, I settled for huge, salty tears that ran down my face and dripped onto my dress.

  When Mia and Mom found me curled up on the bed later, they were immediately worried.

  Mom thought I was having an allergic reaction, and Mia thought I was pregnant. “Oh, please. She’s not pregnant. There’s no chance of that, Mia,” Mom scolded her, and even in my heartbreak, I shook my head at yet another scathing remark on my love life.

&nb
sp; I sat up and explained with deep, hiccoughing breaths that, no, I was neither ill nor pregnant, but that I couldn’t bear to see anyone. It was clear they weren’t about to leave me alone, though, and within seconds the truth about Jake spilled out.

  Mia, having heard most of the details of my time with Jake already, could only stroke my arm and let me speak, but Mom fired off so many questions that my current predicament was put on hold as I had to relate the whole story from the very beginning.

  How many times had I slipped out of the villa to see him? Did Brandon know? Why didn’t I say something to her sooner?

  I could tell that last question was the one that caused her the most distress and, for a moment, I forgot my own sadness and felt guilty for not telling her sooner.

  “I wanted to tell you, Mom,” I said. “Yesterday, at the wedding, remember? I thought you knew.”

  “I know you’ve had a crush on him since you were a teenager, Nicole,” Mom replied. “I had no idea you’d been getting down and dirty with him all week.”

  “Mom!” I exclaimed. “It’s not like that!”

  “Well, it certainly sounds like that,” Mom replied, indignantly. She looked at Mia. “I’m not sure I can blame her, though. The boy turned out pretty fine.”

  “Tell me about it,” Mia groaned.

  “I can’t believe you two, perving over Jake like that!” I sobbed.

  That made them stop drooling over the man who’d occupied my whole life for the past week and, instead, returned to try and comfort me. But, there was nothing they could say that could possibly make me feel even remotely better. I cried until I was certain there was no more water left in my body to even produce more tears, but all I had to do was think about the cold, empty, cleaned hotel room, now completely devoid of any trace of what we’d shared in there, and the tears came all over again.

  “He’s a free spirit, that one,” Mom said, gently stroking my hair and kissing my forehead, as though I was a little kid once more, and the boy I liked had pulled my hair and called me names. “Men like that; well, they don’t want to be tied down, honey. They can’t deal with saying goodbye at the airport, and they don’t want to give out their number in case we call them and want to know what’s going on.”