Wanting It

by Scarlet Wilder

  Slipping into the water, I swam slowly up to the bar and pulled myself onto the stool. The barman smiled at me. “Aloha,” he said. “What is your poison this fine evening, or should I say morning?”

  “Surprise me,” I smiled. I was tired of wine, but at the same time too tired to think of anything else, either.

  He put fresh pineapple juice in a cocktail mixer with a healthy dash of tequila and a squeeze of lime. A good, old-fashioned matador. My mouth was already watering when he jiggled the shaker around, wiggling his hips in time to the music and making me laugh. Then he poured the drink into a wide-rimmed glass and finished it off with a wedge of pineapple and a cocktail umbrella. I rested my elbow on the bar and took a sip. It was incredible.

  I closed my eyes and felt the pool water lapping around my thighs, and then I heard a cough. I turned around.

  Getting onto the stool next to me was a cute guy with a great figure, lean but muscular. He had blond hair that had somehow remained perfectly dry despite his dip in the pool. He pointed to my glass. “That looks excellent,” he said.

  His accent was gorgeous. He sounded like Hugh Grant, fresh off the plane from London. “Let me get you one,” I said, pointing to my glass and smiling at the bartender.

  “Well, I can’t have that,” the man said, shaking his head. “I need to be the one who buys the beautiful lady the drink, not the other way around.” He looked at the bartender and ordered two for himself and another round for me. “All on my room, old chap,” he said.

  “Thank you,” I said to him. “That’s very kind.”

  “I’m afraid I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t planned this,” he said, reaching out with a wet hand. “Mark Carmody.”

  I took his hand and shook it. “Nicole Thomson,” I replied. “Planned what?”

  “I saw you eating dinner earlier in the restaurant,” he said. “I didn’t want to disturb you, but I wasn’t happy that you were eating alone. And now, you’re drinking alone too, and it just won’t do.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh at his accent, but I assured him that there was nothing for him to worry about. “I’ve eaten and drunk alone plenty of times,” I said. “I quite like it.”

  Then my drink was finished, and the next one was just as delicious. Mark and I talked for over an hour. He was in Hawaii on a business trip, having just completed a deal with a millionaire on Kauai. I asked him about his line of work. “Electric cars,” he said. “It’s the future. Particularly for an up-and-coming island like this. Fossil fuels have no place on the modern road.”

  “I completely agree,” I told him, and he smiled when I explained my own line of work. He seemed impressed by the plyscraper, and he congratulated me on my award.

  “So,” he said, once our second drink was over. “You clearly have the brains and the career, and you certainly have the looks. So, may I ask what brings you out here all alone? Is there someone waiting for you back home?”

  “I’m here on business too,” I lied, “but no, there’s nobody waiting for me at home.”

  “How about we take these drinks onto the beach for a late-night stroll?” Mark asked, and he placed his hand on my back. It was the first time a man had touched me in this way since Jake, but while I was expecting a bolt of electricity, similar to that of the lightning currently flashing over the sea, there was nothing.

  If anything, I felt a little uneasy with him. But, as Mia had so eloquently put it, I was to get back on the horse again, or at the very least, get a man that’s hung like a horse.

  While I certainly knew nothing about that where Mark was concerned, there was no reason for me to refuse his offer.

  So we got out of the pool, collected our fresh drinks and walked out of the resort and onto the beach. There was a breeze in the air, and the temperature had dropped after the storm had broken the muggy night, so when fetching my purse I also grabbed a t-shirt from the room and pulled it over my head. When Mark saw me emerge from my villa wearing it, his face dropped a little, but he quickly perked up again as we began to walk.

  The sand felt as wonderful as ever under my feet and, in the moonlight, we slowly sipped our drinks and strolled. Mark talked to me about his home in Berkshire, in the south of England. I’d been close with my guess of London, and he said he spent plenty of time there on business. He seemed to have an amazing grasp of the direction I wanted to take in my own career and offered some valuable insights into sustainable energy production.

  But, as I stole glances at him from the corner of my eye, I knew that he’d never be the kind of guy I wanted to see for an actual date. He was interesting, and he was certainly handsome, having a body that didn’t come without plenty of work in the gym, but he was a little creepy and too forward. He placed an arm over my shoulder at one point, but I shrugged myself out of it by pouncing on a shell in the sand and declaring it was just the right shade of pink my niece wanted to paint her bedroom.

  I had no niece. But he didn’t need to know that.

  I was wide awake but pretended I was tired. I also had nearly a full cocktail left to drink, but something told me not to have any more. The bartender had laced them with hefty shots of tequila, but I knew I didn’t want to be drunk in Mark’s presence. So, I asked him if he’d mind walking me back to my villa. He seemed only too pleased to do so, and my footsteps back were a little quicker than they had been when we headed out.

  At the door, I pulled my card-key out of my purse and turned to Mark. “Well, this is me,” I said, cheerfully. “Thank you so much for the drinks and the walk.”

  He put his hands on his hips and grinned. “You know, we don’t have to call it a night just yet,” he drawled.

  It was exactly what I didn’t want. But, I smiled kindly at him and shook my head. “I’m tired,” I said. “I’d really like to go to sleep. Maybe we can talk tomorrow, at breakfast?”

  “I thought you were inviting me back to your room,” he said, and I was sure I could detect a frown beginning to appear on his forehead. “I have to say, I was a little disappointed when you put that shirt on, but I’m sure I could help you out of it in no time.”

  While I wanted to cringe, I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, and I certainly didn’t want to see that frown get any deeper. I politely but firmly refused, and he shrugged. “Okay,” he said. “No problem. How about a goodnight kiss then?”

  It had to be the only way to get rid of him. I leaned in and aimed for a peck on the cheek, but he turned his head and planted a kiss full on my lips. I tried to move back, but his hand was on the back of my head, pushing me into him. My eyes were wide open with shock, but his were closed. He poked his tongue into my mouth and made a groaning noise. Paralyzed in shock for a few moments, I regained my composure and pushed him away.

  “No!” I cried. “Get away from me!”

  “You know you want this,” he breathed, and I was about to scream for help when I heard a very familiar voice, one I was sure could only have come from my imagination.

  “You heard the lady,” it said, gruffly, and then, there he was. As if appearing from nowhere, Jake was behind Mark, a large hand on his shoulder, and he whirled the Englishman around like a figure skater on the ice. “Get your fucking hands off her.”

  “Who the bloody hell are you?” Mark sneered, and Jake pressed his face close to his.

  “I’m someone who knows that when a woman says no, she means no,” he said. “Now fuck off out of here before you find out what I do to bastards like you. Pip pip, old chap!”

  Mark threw me a dirty look and left.

  I gulped and looked up at Jake. “What? Why…” I said, weakly. “How?”

  He smiled at me, not a cocky, self-centered smile, but a warm, knowing smile, the kind that had melted me right here, in this place, nearly four months earlier. Then his eyes were concerned, and he looked down at me. “Are you all right?” he asked. “Who the hell was that prick?”

  “He’s no one. He just bought me a drink at the bar and we had a walk on the b
each,” I said. I wanted to act as though it was none of his business, but the truth was that, if he hadn’t arrived at that moment, there was no knowing how the night might have turned out.

  “We’ve got to stop meeting like this, Nicole Thomson,” he said, grinning. “I seem to recall having to fend off another eager young predator who tried to do the same with you in the club a couple of months ago.”

  “I tend to attract the weirdos here, it seems,” I said, but I hurriedly followed it up with, “Except for you, of course.”

  “Except for me,” he said softly.

  “I can’t believe you’re here,” I said, and before I knew it, I was crying. He reached for me, but I couldn’t bring myself to step into his arms.

  “Please don’t,” I said. “You shouldn’t be here. I don’t want to see you. I’ve come here to get away from you, for God’s sake!”

  “By coming to the very place we met after all those years?” he asked. “Please, Nikki. I’ve flown thousands of miles just for the chance to talk to you. To explain. I didn’t just run off. I had very good reasons for having to leave for Africa. That’s where I’ve been all this time.”

  “So it was nothing to do with Brandon?” I threw at him spitefully. “Nothing to do with crawling away with your tail between your legs because you couldn’t face talking to me about things?”

  He ran a hand over his head. “I can’t lie, Brandon wasn’t happy,” he said. “He knew about us, and yeah, it made me feel bad. But, that’s not all there is to this. When the call came from Marshall, I had to leave. Maybe I should’ve made more of an effort to find you before I left, but I…”

  “Maybe?” I asked bitterly. “Yeah, maybe something more than a shitty little post-it note would have been nice, Jake. You know, Mom and Mia were right. You’d never settle down. You’ll only ever want the next big job, the next adventure. That’s all I was to you. I can’t even deal with this right now, Jake. I have to go.”

  “Nicole, let me explain,” he tried again, but I was so exhausted and just couldn’t face him. I had to get away and needed time to clear my head.

  “Jake, please. Just… don’t…”

  I fumbled with the card-key in the slot, pushing it in the wrong way around, but finally got it right, and I stepped inside and closed the door behind me.

  I didn’t turn on the light. I just stood there and looked through the thin curtains, watching as Jake stood outside the door as though contemplating knocking, but then he turned and walked away…

  …. and once more I cried over him until I fell asleep.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  JAKE

  †

  SHE KNEW HOW TO push all my buttons, that was for sure. She went from being the damsel in distress to the girl with the dragon tattoo in the space of thirty seconds, but as I walked away and went back to my own villa, I felt her pain for the first time. It sounds dumb to think I hadn’t realized just how hurt she was, but it’s true.

  I knew it was there, bubbling just below the surface when I’d photographed her at the conference, but I needed to hear and understand it clearly. From her lips. And I thought that once she understood why I left and explained how she was feeling, we’d be able to work past it. But before I could explain, she cut me off and closed the door on me again.

  That night I barely slept. I lay awake on the bed, staring at the ceiling, listening to the crickets outside the window, and I wanted to go back and knock on her door, but I was sure that she’d be fast asleep by then.

  Maybe I’d been wrong to come here, to follow her. As I played the conversation over and over in my head, I tried to search for something in her words that told me there was still a chance.

  But there didn’t seem to be one. She was pretty clear. She didn’t want to talk to me. She was convinced I was the person her mom and her best friend seemingly had convinced her I was. And, she might have been right, at least at one time. I was learning new things about myself as quickly as I was learning about Nikki. I didn’t know she had a cat called Pete. And I didn’t know that I might have met the only woman I wanted to be with, forsaking all others.

  The next thing I knew, it was dawn, and I must have finally closed my eyes and fallen asleep because five hours had disappeared. I sat up and felt a new kind of energy, a determination to set the matter straight once and for all.

  I had an idea. It might backfire, but it was worth a shot. I took a pen from the drawer and found another yellow pad, the kind I’d been given in the hotel room the last time I was here.

  I’d like to have breakfast with you, I wrote on it.

  I left her my number, for the first time, and I went to her villa and pushed the note under her door. Then I went back to the room and showered, got dressed, and waited for her. It was an hour before my phone pinged.

  No, thank you, it read.

  Well, at least she wasn’t angrily telling me to leave her alone. So she didn’t want to come for breakfast. I went down to the dining hall by myself, had coffee and a bagel, and kept an eye out for her, but she didn’t come down to eat.

  Later that day, I went down to the beach. I lay my things on a towel and went for a swim. The sea was beautiful, just a little cooler than it had been in September, but still relaxing and invigorating.

  Adjusting to the freezing cold weather of Nebraska had been more difficult than I could have imagined, and it was blissful to be in tropical heat once again. I couldn’t help but recall how I’d slipped my fingers inside Nikki’s bikini right here in these same waters only months earlier, and how she had to try and keep a straight face when she climaxed.

  She was so close, but yet so far from me. But, she was still here.

  Surely that meant something? It’s not like she’d packed her things up and gone home as soon as she saw me. So maybe she wasn’t so completely pissed over my being here. I got out of the water and dried off on a towel, taking my phone from underneath my towel.

  I’m down on the beach, I typed. Come sit with me. It’s beautiful.

  But, once again, she turned me down. She wasn’t rude, or nasty. Simply replied to say she was fine where she was, thank you very much. I frowned. There haven’t been many times in my life where a woman has turned me down. Instead of feeling defeated by her refusal, it somehow just made me more determined.

  The chase was on.

  I laid on the beach for an hour or so, closing my eyes and resting my head on my arms as the sun topped off the tan on my back. After a little while, I heard voices and I lifted my head to find that two girls had put their own towels a few feet away from mine. The rest of the beach was practically empty but, for some reason, they wanted to be within about twenty feet of me.

  They were very pretty. Around Nikki’s age. There was a blonde with small breasts and beautiful blue eyes, and a redhead with large breasts and a very cute smile, which she directed at me as I looked over at them. The redhead waved and I waved back.

  “Hey,” she giggled. “Do you live here?”

  I leaned on one elbow and turned to face them, putting on my sunglasses to keep the glare from my eyes. “No, I’m just visiting,” I grinned. “Getting a little winter sun, if you know what I mean.”

  “We can’t really hear you,” said the blonde. “Do you mind if we come a little closer?”

  “Not at all,” I replied.

  It was the oldest trick in the book, but I wasn’t about to complain. They brought their things next to me and we talked for a little while. They were twenty-two, just out of college and taking the time to explore Hawaii before settling down back home in Ohio. Their names were Kim and Grace, and they were, apparently, very pleased to meet me.

  “Where’s your wife?” Grace asked.

  “I’m not married,” I replied.

  They looked at each other and smiled. Grace looked back at me, flicking her blonde hair over her shoulder. “We’re not married either,” she said. “Are you looking for a little fun while you’re here?”

  It’s not every day
a guy gets an offer like that, and there was no denying that under any other circumstances, I wouldn’t have hesitated to take the girls up on it. It was clear that the invitation was an open one and, believe me, no red-blooded male would have wasted any more time sitting on that beach.

  But I didn’t want to go with them. I wanted only one woman and it was only too clear to me as I turned the girls down. Still, they stayed sitting beside me and we talked for a little while longer. Then, my phone pinged. I picked it up.

  “Enjoying your little threesome?” it read.

  I immediately looked up toward the villas to see Nikki walking away from the beach.

  So, she’s jealous. Interesting.

  I gathered my things, said goodbye to the two girls, and quickly walked over the sand. “Wait up!” I called out to Nikki.

  She wasn’t slowing down, so I picked up the pace and my strides were far longer than hers, so I caught up quickly. She wouldn’t turn to look at me. “Forget it, Jake,” she said. “I can see that you’re occupied. There are two other girls there waiting just for you to … oh, well… shall we say… partially satisfy them.”

  We were past the villas now and were standing near one of the resort pools. It was nearly lunchtime, and there were plenty of guests sitting on lounge chairs, or idly getting up and putting on their sandals to walk into the dining hall.

  I would have liked to have had this conversation away from prying eyes, but there was nothing I could do now.

  I had enough!

  I grabbed her arm. “Well, honey. You seemed to love it when I partially satisfied you last time,” I said, whirling her around.

  In her short white dress, purse slung over her shoulder, she looked beautiful, and her eyes were as angry as ever. “Let me go. I thought for a second that maybe I was being too hard on you,” she said. “So even though I refused your offer at first, I thought maybe I could at least sit on the beach with you for a little while. And, then, I see you with those two hussies! Two! And I realized that you’re just the same selfish prick and— what the hell are you doing?”