“And you still do.” There was no question in his voice. “So how is this your fault? Why must you be the one to fix it? Let him sweat; only a fool would pass up a woman who looks like you, Noomie. And Mr. Meade is not a fool.” He let out a long breath, as one who is disgusted. “Sometimes I wonder why adults think they know everything.” Naomi took the remains of their breakfast to the kitchen, straightened up the room, and got dressed. She’d stopped wondering why Aaron’s thinking so often belied his age; Rosalie had told Naomi that she and her husband hadn’t shielded the boy, but had included him in all but the most private aspect of their lives. She tapped on his door, opened it, and leaned in. “I’m going to the supermarket; I should be back in about an hour.” She grinned when he folded his fist and stuck his thumb up.
Cold fear knotted Naomi’s stomach as she walked through the quiet house and up the stairs to Aaron’s room. Intuition and the eerie silence told her that she was alone in the house. The door to Aaron’s room stood ajar, the bed made, the room empty. She started to knock on the door of his bathroom, glimpsed the sheet of paper pinned to his pillow, and knew that he was gone. But why? He could barely walk without support. She picked up the paper and for the first time read his careless script.
Dear Noomie, I know it’s not right to leave like this, but I think it’s time I went back to my mom. I can look after myself now. Thanks for everything. And don’t worry. I’m taking a taxi. I’ll call you.
Love Aaron.
She had to fight the hysteria that welled up in her. What had caused him to leave so suddenly? He’d said he loved her and would be a son to her, and then he’d left, walked out on his word. She couldn’t lose him; she couldn’t. She couldn’t find Rosalie’s number at work. Wringing her hands in despair, she fought the urge to call her grandfather. She didn’t know whether he could stand the jolt; Aaron had come to mean everything to him.
Oh, Rufus. I need you so! Her feet propelled her to the telephone beside Aaron’s bed as if of their own volition. He answered on the first ring. “Rufus, it’s me, Naomi. I went to the supermarket, and when I got back, Aaron had gone. His note said he was going home.” She tried to control the trembling in her voice. “I can’t lose him, Rufus. I can’t lose him. I can’t…”
He interrupted her gently. “Settle down, Naomi. It will be all right. Just wait until Rosalie gets home and we can get to the bottom of this. I’m surprised the boy didn’t tell you he intended to go; he’s always so straightforward.”
She wiped her nose with her sleeve and took a deep breath. “That’s why I’m worried. Something’s wrong.”
“Nothing’s wrong, Naomi.” His voice came to her strong and confident. She knew he had no more information that she did, but his convincing assurance restored her hope. “I’ll call you back in an hour or so,” he told her. “Don’t worry about it, now. Aaron is a good boy, and he’s very responsible.”
Rufus had registered his boys in a morning preschool program, and he’d already learned that there were benefits for him as well as for the boys. He could leave home suddenly without getting a sitter. He drew his parka on over his cashmere sweater, got into his Town Car, took the East West Highway, and within ten minutes was knocking on the door of the red brick house on Pershing Street.
The surprised look on the boy’s face when he opened the door and saw him might have been comical if he hadn’t noticed that Aaron was withdrawn, almost unfriendly. “May I come in, Aaron?”
“Sure, Mr. Meade. How did you know where I live?”
What an actor! This kid was mad as the devil about something, but he obviously didn’t intend to show it. “I’ve driven Rosalie home several times. Aaron, Naomi is terribly upset about your leaving her like this.” He walked into the living room and sat down. “She’s nearly hysterical with worry.”
“What’s it to you? What do you care how upset she is?”
He could see that the boy would love to slug him. Whatever the problem, he was in the middle of it. “Aaron, this attitude is not one bit helpful. If you’ve got something to say to me, say it. I’d have thought our relationship merited honesty on both our parts.” He watched the boy as the anger left him, and he dropped his head. Rufus waited. Aaron sat in the chair across from him, spread his legs, rested a hand on each knee, and observed him steadily, as if making up his mind. Suddenly, he leaned back.
“Mr. Meade, do you know what Noomie is to me?”
Rufus’s eyebrows shot up. He hadn’t expected this turn of conversation. “I’d have to be blind not to know. Why?”
Aaron slanted his head to the side in a gesture so reminiscent of Naomi that Rufus shifted uncomfortably at the vision he suddenly had of her. “If I hadn’t pushed my mom so hard to find Noomie, you’d probably be married to her by now. She doesn’t know how you feel about her, but I do.”
Rufus sat forward, a frown furrowing his brow. “What are you talking about? Who is…Aaron, I don’t need to hear this from you; I need to hear it from Naomi.”
“If you needed to hear it from her, why didn’t you ask her right out, Mr. Meade? Can’t you see she’s been miserable? I know I’m the reason you two can’t get together. I hate to see her hurt; she’s been hurt enough. If you loved her, you’d talk to her. She said you’d never told her whether you…how you felt about her, but she told you. You don’t deserve her. I left this morning because if I’m not there, you won’t go there every afternoon, and she won’t have to be around you.” He shrugged. “I just can’t figure it out. You’d do anything on earth for her except tell her how you feel. I sure hope I don’t grow up to be that stupid!”
Rufus laughed. “Stupid” wasn’t one of the names he’d acquired, but maybe it was appropriate in this instance. Aaron’s demeanor suggested that if there was anything comical about the matter, he hadn’t registered it.
Rufus rose, walked over to Aaron, and extended his hand. “I’ll put it right…if she’ll let me. Thanks a lot. I’ll let myself out.” He smiled at the boy’s knowing grin and thumbs-up sign. Had it been twenty-one years since he was that age? And had he been that self-assured? He looked at his watch. He didn’t have enough time for a visit with Naomi before picking up his boys. He got in his car and dialed her on his cellular phone.
“Naomi, this if Rufus. I’ve just left Aaron. He’s fine, and you’ve nothing to worry about, believe me. I think he was just matchmaking,” he told her cryptically, then added, “I’d like to come over tonight around eight-thirty, if it’s okay with you.” She agreed, and he hung up. If he was lucky, she’d be wearing that burnt orange dress.
He parked in front of the private day-care center and sat there, pensive. Aaron’s words burned his mind, forcing him to see his own role in his volatile relationship with Naomi. He got the boys, drove home, and packed an overnight bag for them. He didn’t like them to sleep away from home, but he had to straighten out the issues between him and Naomi, even if it took all night. He left his boys with Jewel and went home.
Naomi took a long, scented bath, tamed her hair into a French twist, and dressed carefully. It might be her last chance with Rufus, and she wanted to look her best. He’d said that dark women look good in pinks and reds, so she donned a lavender pink bra and bikini panties of silk lace that left her practically nude, looked over the pink corner of her closet, selected a wool crêpe dress of the same color, and slipped into it. She decided against pantyhose and wore garters instead. It was frankly a come-on, but she couldn’t worry about that; this was war.
When her bell rang at exactly eight-thirty, she moved effortlessly and languidly toward the door, hot anticipation already beginning to steam within her. The frank appreciation in his sensuous gaze told her that the effort she’d made to please him had paid off. She took the beautiful crystal vase of red roses he handed her and stood back to let him enter. Then she placed the vase on the table, took his overcoat, and breathed a prayer of thanks
that she’d had the foresight to dress well. He was the epitome of elegance.
He looked down at her as they entered the living room, but the warm anticipation she’d felt knowing she’d see him soon began to dissipate; his eyes were not smiling, but distant and wary. She sat on the sofa and nervous quivers knifed through her when he sat close beside her. He hated both pretense and small talk, so she knew he’d go straight to the point.
Rufus glanced at her as she sat patiently, hands folded in her lap, waiting for him to speak. “I’m a man on a high wire, Naomi; if I make one false step, I’ll cripple myself for life. I went to see Aaron, to find out why he left you, but I learned far more than that. The boy is so perceptive and so blunt.” He sensed her anxiety and suspected that she was nervous in anticipation of what Aaron might have told him.
“I had no right to ask of you what I couldn’t give you in return, Naomi.”
She gaped at him. “What do you mean?”
He ran his left hand over his tight, well groomed curls and took a deep breath. Attitudes he’d developed through his life had to be discarded; he’d thought he’d done it, but he realized now that he hadn’t. “I asked you to trust me, to share with me what I now realize was the most personal of information. And I accused you of not trusting me, of being secretive and evasive. But you were justified; I’ve never given you a reason to trust me.”
She squirmed beside him. “How can you say that? I’ve never met anyone more trustworthy than you. Rufus, please don’t take responsibility for this…this situation. No one could have been a better friend than you’ve been these past few weeks.” He smiled; she couldn’t ever refer to their relationship as the mess that it was.
“I haven’t given you the basis for the level of trust you needed and deserved. Oh, I know I came here and helped you and Aaron, did things for you for purely selfish reasons. I had to be with you, and I couldn’t allow you to be without anything you wanted or needed.” His glance swept over her profile. She was so beautiful, so elegant, and right now, she was so vulnerable. “And haven’t you done the same for me,” he asked her softly. “What I’m saying is that I self-righteously demanded that you bare your soul to me. I even pressured you into telling me that you loved me and reminded you of it on more than one occasion.”
He turned sideways to look fully into her face and saw the tears that glistened unshed in her wide brown eyes. “Baby, don’t cry. Don’t. I can’t stand it.” Her lips quivered as her gaze shifted to his face. She lowered her eyes quickly, but he had seen the need in them, the simmering want, had seen her emotionally naked. There was so much that the wanted to say, had to say, but the fire-hot desire that suddenly blazed in his body muffled his words, extinguished every thought but that she wanted him. With a gut-wrenching sigh, he pulled her into his arms, and she reached for him, her lips parted and waiting for the thrust of his tongue.
Naomi opened up to him, a flower offering nectar and receiving life-giving pollination. She grasped the back of his head and held him to her. Hungry. Starving. She gave, and he took. She took, and he gave. He pulled away slightly, and she could see the fine sheen of moisture around his forehead that desire had wrung from him. If he walked away from her tonight, she couldn’t bear it. It would be over, and she wouldn’t allow it to end. She gazed drunkenly into his mesmerizing eyes, his beloved face. Why didn’t he say something? Well, she thought recklessly, when the world didn’t turn the way you were going, you walked the other way. Her hand reached out and cupped his chin, but his only reactions were the flicker of passion in his eyes and the slight quiver of his full bottom lip. She could hear the silence that surrounded them, silence so pregnant with the tension of desire that it spoke with a voice of its own. A groan escaped her soft lips, and she clung to him.
“Don’t…don’t leave me tonight.” She wanted to beg him to never leave her. His passion filled eyes drilled her as he seemed to look deeply within her, questioning her desire for him.
“I need you, Rufus. I’m not ashamed of it. I ache for you.”
“Oh, God. Naomi, sweetheart, I need you, too. I’m hungry for you, out of my mind with it. All these weeks without you.” Heated sensation streaked through her as his sweet mouth found her waiting, hungry lips. Jolts of fiery craving claimed her and she capitulated completely, her head lolling against his breast, her body limp with desire. He took her up in his arms and into her bedroom
He settled her on her feet beside the bed where he’d last loved her, faced her, and found her zipper with his fingers. She stepped away as the dress fell to her feet, and his breath was momentarily lost in anticipation of ecstasy as hot desire shot through him. She had dressed for him, had planned for them to make love. His gaze roamed slowly from her feet, moved up her long, shapely legs, and rested on the vee that cradled her sweet, moist tunnel, her citadel of love. Then it meandered slowly up to her full breasts, bare to his hot gaze except for the tiny scrap of nothing that caressed her nipples. She was beautiful. Intoxicating. How had he stayed away from her, denied himself the fulfillment that he needed so badly, that in his entire life he had found only within her arms? He shuddered violently with the fierceness of his arousal. Breath hissed through his teeth when her hand found his hard flesh and caressed him lovingly through his slacks. Shaking with desire, he picked her up, lay her gently on the bed, removed her intimate garments, and quickly stripped himself. His gaze drifted up and down the reclining body of his naked maja, a smile playing around his lips, unable to believe that she was his.
Desire gripped her and her body trembled in anticipation as she stared rhapsodically at the virile man who stood over her, powerful and beautiful in his nudity, his proud sex ready and eager for her. Her tongue slowly rimmed her slightly parted lips and her arms opened to him as her body took control of her mind. She gloried in her womanhood when he fell trembling into her waiting arms. His weight upon her heightened her need, fueled her impatience for his possession. She heard his softly murmured words of assurance, telling her of her beauty and that he adored her. He wrapped her to him and tension curled in the pit of her belly as his strong, hard legs brushed her and her nipples tingled against his chest. She felt the full measure of his hot, steely flesh against her belly and cried out in want.
Somewhere in the distance she heard a loud crash and twisted her body up to his. “It’s all right, baby. Just the clock falling to the floor.” Tremors swept her as his mouth covered hers tenderly, hotly, in a mind-drugging kiss, as if to rekindle her rushing passion. She strained against him in shameless supplication, but the continued his assault on her senses, curling his tongue around her nipple and pulling it slowly into his warm mouth, punishing her senses as he suckled her voraciously.
“Rufus, please…”
“Didn’t I ask you not to call me Rufus when we’re together like this? Tell me what you want. Tell me.”
“Rufus, darling. I…oh God, honey, I’ll die. Please, get in me.” She felt his smile as he kissed her belly.
“We’ve got all night, sweetheart. Just give yourself to me.”
Dizzying currents of heat danced through her body as his fingers strummed it, stroked it, played it skillfully like a priceless lyre, and she cried out, writhing and undulating beneath him. Desperate for consummation, her desire at fever pitch, she spread her legs and took his hard, silken flesh into her soft hands. He raised his head and looked down into her face with love-lit eyes. Then he pressed gently against her, but she grasped his tight buttocks and thrust upward, sending a rush of air from him and a loud moan from her lips.
Her body quickly attuned itself to him, and she met his powerful thrust as their bodies moved in perfect unison. Soon the tide of ecstasy began to course through her and she tried to hold it back, to stay with him.
“Let it go, baby. Let it happen. Give yourself to me. I’ll be with you all the way.”
The waves of ecstasy began at he
r feet and spiraled through her body, settling in her core and gripping the man she held within her. She cried out from the sweet torture of it as he buckled above and they flew together, their passion undimmed, free.
Shaken beyond words, Rufus looked down at the woman whose body encased him and kissed her tenderly and lovingly. Then, without releasing himself, he turned on his side, bringing her with him.
“I love you, Naomi.” He felt her body stiffen. “I have for a long time. I realized it the night I got back home from Nigeria, and I should have told you then, before we made love, because I knew.” He held her closer when he felt the tremors of her emotional reaction.
“I realize now that I didn’t tell you because I didn’t trust you not to exploit it, and because I couldn’t see you in the setting I envisaged for my boys and myself, even though I told myself otherwise. Yet I asked you to trust me. I was wrong in every way, and I know it. You’re what I want and what I need.”
“Oh, Rufus, there’s so much you don’t know.” He turned to her and kissed her soft brown cheek.
“Not as much as you may think. And before you tell me I want to say something, and it’s important. Whatever happened to you in the past, Naomi, can’t be undone, and it’s not what matters. What the past has made of you is what counts with me. I just want to know if you still love me.”
“Oh, yes. I think I started loving you the minute I saw you. I’d watch you with Preston and Sheldon, how you loved them and how secure they were in your love. I knew you had a great capacity for love, and I wanted you to love me. I pushed you away because I thought because of your past experiences with your wife and mother, you’d reject me when you found out about Aaron.”
She told him about her son, beginning with the day she’d learned of her pregnancy. “Once I knew he wanted to find me, I had to see him. And then I had to choose between the two of you. I couldn’t let Aaron get away from me a second time.”
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