Dangerous Control

by Annabel Joseph

  “Don’t try to rub the sting away. I prefer you hurting. I’m a sadist, that’s what I’ve been trying to explain to you. I’m not satisfied if you’re not in pain. Keep your hands at the small of your back.”

  He came to stand in front of me, and used my hair to position me to his liking. He ripped opened a condom; a fruity scent filled my nostrils as he rolled the flavored rubber onto his massive cock. “Open your mouth,” he said.

  I did, thinking there was no way he was going to fit inside it. He was just too big.

  “No, open your mouth,” he scolded. “Like, to suck a fucking cock.”

  He put his thumbs at the corners of my jaw and pressed my mouth open until it was gaping. Then he eased inside, depressing my tongue with his shaft. I gagged, trying to take him deeper, but he could only get so far.

  “Calm down.” His voice was cool with an edge of menace. “Do what you can.”

  He didn’t leave me much choice. He held my head as he thrust into my mouth, making me take more than I thought I could. Each time he pressed forward, I choked, and each time he pulled back, another tear spilled down my cheeks.

  “Out of practice, or you’ve only sucked tiny cocks?” he taunted. “You wanted this, Alice, you asked for it. You say you want what I’m into? This is what I’m into. Choking you on my cock until you cry.”

  I stared up at him. Yes, I want this. I still love you. You’re making me feel like the most sexual, wild creature in the world.

  “Do you want me to stop?” he asked, pulling out. “Had enough?”

  I shook my head, sucking up the drool that had collected on my chest. “I want you to hurt me. Fuck me again, hard.” I didn’t know where the words came from. Maybe I knew he wanted me to say them. My pussy was dripping from pain and fear, and being used for his pleasure. His force brought me more pleasure than any other lover had brought me. I didn’t know how that worked, it just did. “Please, please, Sir,” I said. Did that count as begging?

  He crouched beside me and shoved me forward, holding my bound wrists so I couldn’t get away. I didn’t want to get away. I wanted him to hold me down and ravage me. “Don’t fucking move,” he said. “No, keep your mouth open, in case I want to fuck it again.”

  While he spoke, he crossed to get a bottle of lube from the cabinet. When he returned, he moved it in front of my face. “Know what this is for, my stubborn masochist?” he asked.

  Wow. Oh my God. No, you won’t get in. “Yes, Sir,” I managed to say aloud.

  “Tell me. Say it out loud, Alice. What’s this for, in general usage?”

  “Anal sex.” My throat closed up with nerves.

  “Louder.”

  “Anal sex,” I repeated.

  “Assfucking,” he corrected me with a lurid tilt to his lips. “So, Alice, ask me to fuck your ass.”

  “Please, Sir, please fuck my ass,” I said, although the idea of it terrified me. My cheeks were still sore from the strapping, and my sensitive nipples rubbed against the floor as he held my wrists behind my back.

  “Do you really want me to?”

  My gaze strayed from his eyes to his broad, bronze shoulders, then down his hard abs, and finally to his jutting cock. “I want what you want, Sir.”

  He laughed. “Good answer.”

  He positioned himself behind me, his cock sliding between my folds, then into my dripping pussy. I let out a breath I hadn’t known I was holding. He’d been testing me again, seeing if I’d really do anything.

  But he fucked my pussy instead of my asshole, bringing the familiar stretch and pleasure, which was magnified by the fact that I couldn’t move my arms. I was his captive, his sex slave. His submissive. I understood why people loved this. There was something about giving all your power to another person, for their pleasure, so you could be used. My body responded to his dominance with an almost painful level of arousal. This was why I’d been drawn to him all those years, why my sex organs went into overdrive whenever he was around.

  “Oh, yes, please,” I said, as my orgasm crept closer. The clamps, the strapping, the cuffs, all of it had led to this wild fucking. “I need more, please, Sir.”

  Milo made a rough sound and pulled out of me. I arched my hips, wanting him back again, but then I heard the snick of the lube’s cap. He groped between my ass cheeks, depositing slickness around my tiny hole. I clenched it shut as his finger pressed some of the lube inside. He answered this protective impulse with a chuckle.

  “Don’t worry, naughty girl. This lube will let anything slide in there.”

  He probed me again with his finger, driving it deep inside my ass, making me question my sanity. Lala. Say Lala, because it’s time for that safe word. My lips parted to say the word, but then he grasped my cuffs again, positioning himself behind me, and I felt trapped and horny, overcome with desire. Please, Sir, I want you to fuck my ass. Please, Sir, just don’t hurt me.

  I repeated it in my mind as he parted my ass cheeks and pushed the head of his cock against my hole. I made a small, panicked sound as he started stretching me open with the tip. You’ll never fit. You’ll break me. I’ve never, ever done this before. He was breaching my hole, inch by inch, hurting me just as I’d asked to be hurt. “Oh God, oh God, oh God,” I whispered, pressing my face against the floor. He held me tightly, redoubling his hold on my cuffs.

  “Relax,” he said. “Let me in.”

  I moved my hips, trying to accustom myself to the awful stretching sensation. His fingers stroked my clit, presumably to “relax” me, but it was hard to process anything aside from the burning ache of his entry. I knew if I said Lala he would stop, that everything would stop. The hurting, the forcing, the thrilling pleasure that was making me fall apart.

  But I couldn’t tell him to stop. He kneaded my hips and eased forward, inch by inch, fucking me in a place I’d never been fucked before. “Oh God,” I whined, because I wasn’t sure I could take much more. He was going slow, easing his way forward with the lube’s help, but he was so big.

  Then my tensing asshole relaxed, and a little of the ache ebbed away. It was replaced by pure pressure and fullness, a feeling like nothing I’d ever experienced. He went still for a moment, making small movements in and out of my ass. I was utterly impaled, and under his control.

  “Please, Sir, I…” I didn’t know what I wanted, or why I kept saying please, only knew that he would make this all make sense.

  “Does it hurt?” he asked in a rough-edged voice.

  I made a small moaning sound.

  He pressed even deeper, drawing a breath against my ear. “You wanted to be hurt,” he murmured. “Does it hurt, baby? Answer me.”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you like the way it hurts?”

  “Oh, yes, Sir. Yes, I like it.”

  “You want me to really fuck your ass now?”

  “Yes, please.” It was what I’d been begging for all along, this ultimate intrusion and debasement. Now that my asshole had stretched to his full girth, the lube made it easy for him to slide.

  “Arch your hips back,” he said in a voice like a patient teacher. “Show me how much you want it.”

  Arching my hips brought new sensations as he withdrew, then surged into me again. Just when I got used to that, he pulled my hair with a sharp tug, causing me to tense. Sometimes he pinched my nipples as he drove in and out, adding pain on top of pain as I trembled under him. When I tried to twist away from his grasp, he paused deep inside me and shook the cuffs, guiding them higher on my back. He forced my fisted hands open.

  “Leave your hands open until I’m done.”

  I shivered at the edge in his voice, and stretched my fingers apart, fighting the urge to clench them closed again with each thrust. This was another test, like keeping my feet on the ground while he strapped me. It was another layer of control, like he didn’t already have enough control over me. His fingers tightened on the cuffs, holding me in position whenever I squirmed forward or sideways. He grabbed my hair if I moved my h
ead, twisting it hard.

  Ow, ow, ow, my hair, my asshole, oh God, please don’t stop. I curled my toes since I couldn’t clench my fingers. Milo pressed his cheek to mine, rough stubble and a hard, thrusting body above me. I gave an endless cry, a broken whine of submission, and his teeth closed on my ear.

  I bucked, wishing I could rub my clit. I was desperate to come with him deep inside my ass, but I knew I couldn’t. I moved my hips anyway, and he slid a hand beneath me to part my pussy lips and pinch my clit the same way he’d pinched my nipples, to the point of excruciating pain.

  I threw my head back and came, my asshole squeezing around him as he fucked me to oblivion. My fingers clenched so hard they felt numb and frozen, but the rest of me was on fire. After a few hard thrusts he pushed deep, went still, and shuddered violently. I squeezed his cock until he groaned, then I rode out my climax a few more moments, until it faded, leaving me limp and breathless.

  His fingers relaxed in my hair. One of his hands returned to my nipple, giving a last, long, leisurely pinch. I felt it in my clit. His cock moved in my ass, and just like that, I wanted more. I wanted him again. What was wrong with me? What was he doing to me? I could barely lift my head.

  “Again,” I said. “Please, all of it again.”

  “No, Alice. This has to be it.” He pulled out of me, rolling onto his back. “I’ve done enough to you. We can’t go any further than this.”

  “Please.”

  He sat up and cupped my face in one large hand, his gaze afire. “You don’t understand. This is as much as I can responsibly do to you, because you’re a beginner.”

  “I’m not a beginner anymore, and I didn’t use the safe word,” I protested, making my case. “I didn’t come close, even once.”

  He muttered a scathing stream of profanities, then tightened his fingers on my chin, kissing me ruthlessly until I had to struggle up for air. “Once more,” he said. “That’s it. No more after that.”

  Chapter Eleven: Milo

  I woke around ten, with Alice dead to the world beside me. Either that, or she was playing dead so she wouldn’t have to face me in the daylight, a definite possibility after the things I’d done to her last night.

  Blue stood beside the bed—her side—looking delighted to find us together. His nose almost, but not quite, rested on her opened hand.

  “She’s sleeping,” I mouthed. And then, “Don’t get your hopes up.”

  Blue loved Alice as much as I did. Well, that wasn’t possible, because I loved her more than anything, but Blue came in a close second, maybe tied with her mom and dad. And my mom and dad. Hell, everyone loved Alice, and I’d used and abused her body like a fucking animal for hours last night. Not okay.

  Just once, I’d told myself. Ha. We’d ended up in my dungeon fucking a second and third time, after all my protests that I’d never take her there. Then we’d showered, had a 2 a.m. snack, and fucked again in her bedroom when I’d gone in there intending to make her sleep.

  I did finally get her to sleep, until around four a.m., when she crawled into my bed and snuggled beside me. Yep, more sex. In the wee hours of the night, I was straddling her face and fucking her throat, and she was gazing up at me, crying and gagging, telling me everything was okay. Her mouth felt like heaven, that was my only excuse for not stopping, because everything was not okay.

  I’d acted like a fucking jerk, taking everything I could from her once the floodgates had opened. Never mind that I had to look her in the eyes this morning, with her knowing. Knowing the depths of my lust, as well as the heights of my depravity. Well, the lower heights. If my perversity was a twenty-story building, I’d taken her to somewhere between the third and fourth floor.

  So much for self-control, for not hurting her. Fuck.

  I slid out of bed and went into the bathroom, and stared at myself in the mirror. Was I that terrible a person? There was nothing I’d done that she hadn’t consented to. I’d gone easy with the strap, used my least painful clamps, and limited the number of times I’d gagged her on my cock. I’d only grabbed her neck three…maybe four…times, and I’d used more than enough lube when I fucked her ass. I’d also monitored her the entire time to be sure she was as turned on as I was. I’d protected her, to an extent.

  And she, the white-nightied siren, had done nothing to convince me to put on the brakes. No, she was as hot and willing at four in the morning as she’d been when I ripped off her panties the night before. She’d told me, with a straight face, I’m not a beginner anymore. I hadn’t contradicted her, because she looked so proud of herself. I might have said a few swear words.

  I turned on the shower and stood under the water, wondering what to do now. Maybe I should give the fuck up and marry her. If she was my wife, maybe I’d find the basic couth and control I hadn’t been able to find last night. As hot water slid down my back and chest, I allowed myself a few moments of daydreaming: Alice in a frothy white wedding dress, both sets of our parents smiling as we walked down the aisle. An erotically charged newlywed life, then later, children and closeness and family concerts by the fire.

  Nice daydream. But what about the nightmare, when I asked her to go with me to The Gallery? I wasn’t sure I could hurt, really torment, someone I was in love with, which was why I’d never fallen in love with any of my other subs.

  Now I was in love, and Alice had subbed to me, eating up the pain like candy. Had she really enjoyed it, or had she swallowed it down because she loved me? How much would she agree to before it became too much? Would she let me torture other subs at The Gallery, and give herself over to other men, per the rules? Could I let her, without losing my shit completely? My daydreams of marital bliss were replaced by nightmares of divorce and custody proceedings, if not charges of spousal abuse.

  I shut off the water, shutting down my thoughts on that topic at the same time. No, never abuse—but what if she saw it that way? Despite what she believed, she was an absolute beginner.

  An absolute beginner who was still fast asleep in my bed.

  I threw on a tee and some jeans, and went out to the kitchen to start some coffee. It was a dreary winter day, the skies threatening snow. I heard Alice in the shower about half an hour later. While I sat at the table, Blue paced up and down the hall, trying to be with both of us at once. By the time she emerged, he couldn’t wait to press against her side.

  “Good morning, sweet friend,” she said to him, providing the demanded attention. Then she glanced up at me, and it took all my strength not to look away. All the things I’d done to her the night before flashed through my mind, and while part of me was ashamed, part of me wanted to do them all over again.

  “Want some coffee?” I asked. And I’m sorry.

  And I want you again.

  She came to join me at the table, blushing, sexy, lovely Alice. Hell. Fuck. Why wasn’t she telling me I was a pervert and a creep, and to leave her the fuck alone in the future? Nope, she seemed happy to see me. I stood to embrace her, kissing the top of her head, because if I kissed her lips I’d lose it. “How are you this morning?” I murmured.

  She shook her head and snuggled closer to me. “I can’t even explain.”

  I can’t even explain summed up my feelings as well, but someone had to say something about the shit we’d done last night. I guided her into a chair, then returned to the kitchen, putting together words as I poured her some coffee. Her favorite type of breakfast cereal—dry—was already in a bowl in front of her.

  “So,” I said, returning with her cup. “We got pretty wild last night. Wilder than I meant to get.”

  “That was probably my fault. I was the one who came to your room last night, and I think deep inside I wanted…”

  “To seduce me? You were successful.” I watched as she stirred sugar into her coffee. “The question is, how do you feel about it this morning?”

  “I feel fine,” she said quickly. “I’m a little tired, but…well…I wouldn’t give up any of what we did last night.” She looked
at me from under her lashes. “Or what we did this morning.”

  I leaned back in my chair, wondering how to proceed. I wouldn’t give up any of what we did either, but I also needed her to realize it had been a one-time thing, a grievous lapse in my self-control.

  “You know—” I began, meaning to say something about preserving the sanctity of our friendship, while apologizing for treating her with so little respect.

  “I can’t wait to do some more BDSM stuff,” she said, speaking over me. “I shouldn’t have barged into your room last night and put you on the spot about your dungeon and everything, but I was so fascinated, and when you took me in there and…” She grinned as a blush crept up her cheeks. “It was so much scarier and cooler and amazing than I could have dreamed.”

  She tugged at a lock of her soft ginger hair. All I could think about was the way I’d wrenched it in my fist. I could practically feel the soft strands against my skin.

  “The thing is, Alice—”

  “I know, I know. You’re more experienced than me, but I don’t mind learning what you like.” Her blush deepened as she stared at my hands, then met my eyes again. “It’s like, all these years I’ve been having sex, and it was gentle and nice and mostly fulfilling, but until last night, I didn’t realize how much more could happen between people. A lot happened between us.”

  “I know.” I nodded, biting my tongue. “But maybe…” Maybe too much happened. Maybe this is a dangerous line we’re about to cross.

  “You think I’m this innocent,” Alice said, keeping her voice light. “Even last night, I could see on your face that you thought you were being too mean to me.”

  “I wasn’t being mean.”

  “I know, it’s your sadism thing.”

  “I wasn’t being mean,” I repeated, willing her to listen. “That violence is how I express passion. I get off on causing anxiety and pain, so a lot of the time, I’m too rough.”