Their Guilty Pleasures

by June Tate

  ‘Good, let’s go and get a sandwich together.’ She saw Rusty hesitate. ‘Please, I’d like to talk to you.’

  They agreed to meet outside.

  Once they were settled in a coffee shop and had ordered, Jenny turned to Rusty. ‘I am so sorry to hear about you and Brad.’ It was said with such sincerity that Rusty was taken by surprise.

  ‘Well, so am I. But what could you expect?’ She gazed at Jenny and decided it was useless to pretend. ‘You know the reason why?’

  ‘Yes, I do, but who am I to judge you, Rusty? After all, here I am, a married woman – having an affair!’

  ‘Have you seen Brad? Has he been sent to France?’

  ‘No, he’s still at headquarters. I’ve seen him only once, he’s been so busy since the invasion, but I can tell you he’s not a happy man. He truly loved you, you know.’

  ‘If only I’d stopped taking punters sooner, when I fell in love with him, but it’s too late for regrets.’ She pursed her lips. ‘I am now working in a respectable job, as you saw. I’ve put my other life behind me, but it’s too late for me and Brad. Oh, Jenny, if only I could turn back the clock.’

  Seeing the unhappiness in the other woman’s face only made Jenny wish there was something she could do.

  ‘How’s Chad?’

  Jenny smiled. ‘He’s fine – busy, of course, because he works in Brad’s office, but we meet when we can.’

  ‘If you don’t mind my asking, where do you see your situation going?’

  ‘No, I don’t mind, but to tell you the truth I don’t know. Like you, I’ve fallen for an American, and I want to spend my life with him . . . but there’s Adam.’ She let out a deep sigh. ‘I’m just living for each day at the moment.’

  ‘Life’s a bitch, isn’t it?’

  Jenny burst out laughing. ‘I couldn’t have put it better myself. Look, why don’t you come over to my place for lunch on Sunday?’ Seeing Rusty’s worried expression she added, ‘I’ll be all on my own, and I’ll be glad of the company, honestly. Please say you’ll come.’

  And Rusty agreed to do so.

  But when Jenny arrived home and opened her mail, she realized that she now had a big problem. Adam was coming home. He’d been injured, not seriously, but he’d caught some shrapnel in his leg and had been flown home after an operation, to recover. He would be arriving on Monday.

  She sat at the table in the kitchen and looked out of the window. She was sorry he’d been injured – of course she was – but the idea of having him here, wanting her to be at his beck and call, filled her with trepidation. The idea of sharing a bed with him made her go cold. She didn’t want him to touch her, and when he was well enough she couldn’t bear the idea of his making love to her. She knew she just couldn’t do it. She closed her eyes, but the thoughts of the difficulties ahead would not go away. What on earth was she to do? She picked up the phone and called Chad.

  Young Sarah was also suffering, but her pain was the birth of her baby. She was in her bedroom at Cherry Tree Farm, with the midwife and Ethel Brown, who was sponging the perspiration off her forehead.

  ‘It won’t be long now, my dear, and then this will all be over. You’ll forget all about the pain when you hold the baby in your arms, I promise.’

  Another contraction grabbed Sarah, and she let out a cry of pain. ‘You’d better be right,’ she said, ‘because there will only be one child! I can’t do this again.’

  Ethel smiled to herself, remembering having similar thoughts herself, but when half an hour later Sarah was gazing lovingly at the baby boy in her arms, she knew the girl would forget, as she and many other mothers had.

  Sarah studied the small face of her son and was amazed. So this was what she and Gunter had made. She thought the child looked a miniature of his father and wished with all her heart he could be here to see this miracle for himself. At least she could have a picture taken and send it to Gunter. She asked Ethel to pass her hairbrush to make herself look less frazzled from the birth, and then asked her to take a picture of them, to send to the father.

  ‘He’ll be so proud of you both,’ said Ethel as she aimed the lens at the bed and its occupants.

  ‘But when ever will he see little Hans?’ They had both chosen names for their baby through letters.

  ‘Don’t start finding difficulties,’ warned Ethel. ‘You’ve both come through the birth, and you have a healthy child. You just tell yourself that sometime in the future you’ll all be together, and that’s what counts!’

  At that moment there was a knock on the door, and Mr Brown asked if he could see the new arrival. He was ushered in.

  He smiled at Sarah. ‘Well done, girlie.’ Then he leaned over the baby. ‘Now, there is a handsome child if ever I saw one. Have you got a name for the little fellow?’

  ‘Hans. Gunter and I chose it.’

  ‘Yes, and it suits him,’ he said. ‘I’ll leave you in peace now. But congratulations.’

  That evening, Jenny opened the door to her lover and flew into his arms, in tears. ‘Oh Chad, what am I going to do?’ she cried.

  He held her close and said, ‘Hey, now, come on honey, calm down and we’ll sort this out.’ He led her into the drawing room and they sat on the settee. ‘Now tell me what was in the letter.’

  Jenny gave it to him to read.

  He put down the letter and took her hand in his. ‘Well, darlin’, the time has come to decide the future – are we going to stay together . . . or not?’

  She looked into his eyes and caressed the face of the man she was in love with. ‘I can’t live with Adam,’ she said. ‘I can’t go back to my old life. I just can’t!’

  ‘Before you decide, you must face up to reality, Jenny honey. Can you put this comfortable life behind you? Because I’m not sure what I can offer you. I have enough money put aside to open a small ranch back home, but it will be real hard to begin with. There won’t be any luxuries, not for a while, until I get established.’

  ‘I don’t care about that! I just want to spend the rest of my life with you, that’s all I care about.’

  But he was insistent. ‘That’s great, and you know that I want you with me, but life will be so very different. I’m just a cowboy from Wyoming, after all. I don’t have the education or position that you have and are used to.’

  ‘Do you think that matters a jot to me? You are so much more than just a cowboy; you have a gift that is amazing. I can’t wait to see you use it again. I want to be part of your life, don’t you believe me?’

  He kissed her softly. ‘Yes, I do, and I can’t quite believe my luck, but what are you going to do when your husband comes home? You’ll have to tell him. Are you prepared for that?’

  Shaking her head she said, ‘No, but it has to be done. I’ll feel dreadful and Adam will be furious, but I can’t lie to him, pretend that things are fine, because that wouldn’t be right.’

  ‘It may mean you’ll lose everything,’ said Chad. ‘Your home, your friends . . . and we’ll have to wait until the war is over before we can be together. It could be some time. I’m asking a lot from you, Jenny. Are you really sure? Don’t you want time to think this thing through?’

  She smiled fondly at him. ‘I can’t wait to see your world; it sounds so different. Sitting round a campfire, tending to the land, looking after the horses. Don’t you see, Chad, to me it sounds like heaven.’

  He laughed. ‘That’s your free spirit emerging; I told you a long way back you would eventually understand. The real you will blossom once we get to Wyoming, and I can’t wait to see that woman.’

  And as she lay in his arms that night, Jenny could hardly wait to start her new life, but she knew that before that happened she would have a very rocky ride. She had no idea how Adam would react to her news. Would she be ostracized by all their friends? So what if she was! She could put up with that; after all, she was a woman with a mind of her own, and she’d made a decision – and as far as the others were concerned, they could like it or lump it! Chad
would no longer be her guilty pleasure; she would be able to meet him openly once she’d spoken to Adam.

  She looked at the face of the man sleeping beside her and knew she’d made the right decision. Come what may.

  Sixteen

  When Rusty arrived at Jenny’s house on the Sunday, she could see that there was something on Jenny’s mind, and after making some coffee, Jenny explained her situation.

  After listening carefully Rusty said, ‘Well, at least you know you have a future with Chad, but I don’t envy you having to tell Adam. Oh, Jenny, war is hell! It messes up so many lives. Without it we would both be going our own way as usual – without complications.’

  With a rueful smile, Jenny said, ‘I don’t know about that! Living with Adam was always complicated, and I’m sure your life had its moments too.’

  Rusty chuckled softly. ‘Oh yes, a few, I have to admit. But how will Adam take it, do you think?’

  Pondering on this, Jenny said, ‘I’m really not sure. When he was home last time he said I’d changed, that he didn’t know me any more – and he was right, of course. I’d carved out a life for myself; I was at last my own person. Mind you, at that time I’d only seen Chad at the stables, we hadn’t become lovers yet.’

  ‘Will you still be able to stay here?’

  ‘I’ve no idea. Adam is only home until he recovers from the operation. It’s not the best time to be told his wife is in love with another man. But I don’t have a choice.’

  ‘Well, if you have to leave, I have a spare bedroom going at my flat. You’re very welcome to move in with me.’

  ‘Oh, Rusty, that’s so good of you. I may have to take up your invitation for a while until I can sort myself out. Thank you. Anyway, let’s put all this behind us. Whilst the lunch is cooking come and walk around the garden, it’s looking lovely at the moment.’

  They sat on the garden bench after and gazed around. ‘Wyoming will be a very different landscape to this,’ Jenny remarked quietly. ‘America is so vast in comparison.’

  ‘You’ll find it strange to begin with, I’m sure,’ Rusty agreed.

  ‘Yes, but so exciting! I can hardly wait, but of course I’ll have to.’

  ‘That will be the hardest part. Then, when the war is over, the GIs will go home to be repatriated.’ She looked at her hostess. ‘I do hope you don’t have to wait too long.’

  Jenny put her hand over Rusty’s. ‘I only wish that you and Brad could make it up between you. You belong together.’

  ‘Sadly, there is no hope of that. It’s a shame because, like you with Chad, I would have followed him anywhere, without a backward glance.’

  At the end of the day, as she was leaving, Rusty gave Jenny her address. ‘You know where I work if you need to get in touch with me during the day.’ She hugged her. ‘I do hope when Adam comes home tomorrow that things won’t be too difficult. Please let me know what happens, I’ll be worrying about you, but remember you have a place to stay if you need it.’

  As she watched Rusty walk down the path, Jenny thought: What a marvellous girl. If only she could talk to Brad and make him see sense. There were two people who were about to leave their life in ruins . . . for what? Rusty wasn’t a bad woman; if only Brad could accept her past, they could be happy together. But as she closed the door, she knew that tomorrow she was going to have to face her husband, and she felt nauseous at the thought of what lay before her.

  Adam Procter sat in the military ambulance as it took him out of the town towards Chilworth. His leg was sore from the operation, and after several sleepless nights, he was somewhat irritable. How good it would be to be home, in his own house with Jenny to care for him. The doctors had done a good job, apparently, and when he was recovered he would be recalled to duty.

  He was able to walk with the aid of a stick and needed to exercise his leg – walking round the garden would do that to begin with. It should take about a month for the wound to heal, he’d been told. His own doctor had been informed and would be visiting him tomorrow to change the dressing.

  As the vehicle turned into his driveway, he wondered how Jenny was. He hoped she’d no longer be involved with so many committees, as he needed her to care for him. She’d have to find the time for him whilst he was home, no matter what else she had to do.

  Jenny waited at the front door as the ambulance drew up beside her. The driver got out and smiled at her as he walked around to the back of the vehicle and helped the patient down.

  Adam looked better than she expected, she thought thankfully, and he seemed to be walking reasonably well. She went up to him and kissed him briefly on the cheek. ‘How are you?’ she asked.

  ‘Weary, and a bit stiff.’ He turned to thank the driver and then entered the house.

  ‘Would you like a cup of tea?’ she asked.

  ‘No thanks, I want something a bit stronger. A large gin and tonic would be nice.’

  ‘Are you allowed alcohol? I wondered if you were on any medication,’ she added hastily when she saw the look of irritation on his face.

  ‘I’ve finished all the antibiotics, so it’s all right.’ He lowered himself on to the settee. ‘It’s good to be home. They needed the bed so were quite happy to let me go. Dr Bailey is calling tomorrow to give me the once over,’ he said as he took the glass from her. ‘Aren’t you having one?’

  ‘No, it’s a bit early for me. I have a coffee in the kitchen. I’ll just go and get it.’

  Once in the kitchen, Jenny took a deep breath. This wasn’t going to be easy. She’d have to wait for the right moment to talk to him about Chad; she couldn’t blurt it all out the minute he arrived. She picked up her cup and returned to the sitting room and sat in an armchair opposite her husband. ‘How long do you think you’ll be home?’

  ‘They said about a month. It was quite a nasty wound, but they managed to get the pieces of shrapnel out eventually, and they grafted a bit of skin they took from my thigh to cover the gash in my leg.’

  ‘I am sorry, that must have been very painful.’

  ‘It wasn’t a barrel of laughs, and at one stage it became infected – but at least I’m alive, unlike some poor devils.’ He glanced through the window. ‘The garden looks nice.’

  ‘Well, the roses need deadheading, but the shrubs are fine.’

  ‘And what have you been up to whilst I’ve been away?’ He didn’t give her chance to answer. ‘I do hope you aren’t as tied up as last time I was home because you’ll need to look after me.’

  Already his dictatorial tone was getting on her nerves, and Jenny wondered just how long she’d be able to tolerate it . . . But the man was wounded, she’d have to remember that and try to be patient.

  ‘Well, I am still busy,’ she told him, ‘and we’ll have to come to some arrangement when I know just exactly how much nursing you’ll be needing. At least you can get about, which is great.’

  ‘I wouldn’t want to get in the way of your work,’ he said with heavy sarcasm.

  ‘Don’t start, Adam! You’ve been in the house less than half an hour. Let us at least try to understand one another.’

  ‘I forget you’re used to living alone these days, and my return must seem like an intrusion, but do remember I’ve been fighting in the bloody war! You could take that into consideration.’

  She didn’t retaliate; what was the point? ‘Are you hungry?’ she asked. ‘Only, I’ve got a shepherd’s pie in the oven and there are a load of fresh vegetables from the garden. You’ll feel better with a good meal inside you.’

  ‘Yes, now you come to mention it, I’m ravenous. I didn’t sleep well last night, so if you don’t mind I’ll go to our room after and take a nap.’

  Lunch wasn’t too difficult. Adam told her about the fighting he’d been involved with and how he was in one way pleased to be sent to a military hospital as he could get a bit of peace and a rest.

  ‘We’re all so tired,’ he explained. ‘At times you just grab a sleep when and where you can. I can’t wait to put my
head down in my own bed.’ But when he eventually went upstairs and into their bedroom – with Jenny behind him, carrying his suitcase – he stopped short and frowned. ‘What’s this? There is only one set of pillows on my side.’

  ‘I’ve moved into one of the spare rooms,’ she said. ‘I thought you’d sleep better on your own, and I’d be worried all the time that I might inadvertently knock your wound as I turned over.’

  ‘Very thoughtful of you, and for a while that’s probably wise. You can move back in when it’s healed.’

  She didn’t answer.

  Downstairs in the quiet of the kitchen, she sat and drank a fresh cup of coffee, thankful that Adam was now asleep. Of course she wouldn’t be moving back into their bedroom, and by the time that Adam was that well recovered, she would have given him her news. She decided it was only fair to give him time to recover first. He had been through so much; it would be cruel in the extreme to tell him before he was on the road to recovery. Chad would surely understand that.

  At headquarters, Chad kept glancing at his watch, wondering if Adam Procter had arrived home, and if he had, how things were going. He wanted to pick up the phone and call Jenny, but realized how unwise that would be at this moment. Jenny had said she would call the office when she could, and he’d have to be content to wait. But he was restless.

  At lunchtime he couldn’t face the canteen and walked to the edge of the camp, found a quiet spot and sat on the grass. He couldn’t help but worry about the life that Jenny was giving up to be with him. Not her marriage. He’d been aware that was in trouble when first they met; otherwise, when he’d realized he was in love with her, he simply wouldn’t have told her. She was such a classy woman, and the life they would share would be so simple in comparison. But deep down he knew she’d thrive on it. The difference in their ages had long ceased to be a problem. In fact, it had never been so with him. It had worried Jenny to begin with, he thought, but thankfully, not any longer.

  He could picture them riding the range together, rounding up horses, sitting beneath the stars when they sometimes camped out. But before that could happen, there was many a fence to be jumped; not least Jenny having to tell her husband she was leaving him. Chad had suggested that he be with her when she did so, but Jenny had been adamant. She had to do it alone.