Digitalis

by Ronie Kendig

  CHAPTER 9

  If I am inclined to doubt, steady my faith ….”

  The line from the Marine Prayer sifted into Colton’s mind as he aimed the truck onto the gravel drive that led to his house. He tried to ignore the way Piper sat next to him—staring straight ahead and hands clutched in her lap as if she were holding onto something, tight. Real tight. The ride home had been that way the entire forty minutes. Complete silence.

  And he’d rather leave it that way than dig into the silence and open the can of worms hiding behind her tight composure. The questions plagued his mind all right. Like what the general told him. And more.

  Beside the house, he rammed the gear into PARK and climbed out. Hand on top of the tailgate, Colton hesitated. His southern upbringing insisted he open the door for her, but he didn’t want to be close, didn’t want to see the betrayal in her eyes.

  Only when the passenger-side door opened did he grab her bags from the back and start for the house. Behind him came the quiet crunching of her steps. Colton ground his teeth, wondering how he’d managed to convince her this was the right choice when all he’d wanted was to walk away and forget they’d ever met.

  You’re buying into this too quick.

  Yeah, and it’d taken his girlfriend ODing in the arms of another man for him to believe the lies about her. Tightening his grip on her bags, he reached for the side door—but it swung out toward him.

  “I’ve been worried si—what on earth happened to your head?” His mother stood in her robe and house shoes.

  “Nothin’.”

  Her attention drifted past him. “Piper, is that you?” Brown eyes came to his filled with questions she’d just have to keep to herself because he didn’t have any answers.

  “Is the guest room ready?” Guilt prodded Colton to inch back and let Piper enter first. He might be irked, but he wasn’t going to be rude. All the same, he kept his gaze on the tiled floor as she swept past and looked at him.

  “Of course it is.” His mother wrapped an arm around Piper as she led her toward the kitchen. “What happened? We can talk about it over a cup of herbal tea.”

  Colton kicked the door shut and followed them down the hall to the kitchen.

  Piper glanced over her shoulder at him, then pulled her attention back to his mom. “Actually, I’m pretty tired. But thank you.”

  His mom drew back, a bit surprised, but then patted Piper on the shoulder. “That’s just fine. I understand.”

  Did his mother notice Piper didn’t answer the question about what happened? Surely she did. That woman never missed a thing.

  “Guest room’s this way.” He stomped through the kitchen and living area, then down the small hallway to the guest room, where he nudged the door open. He dropped her bag by the foot of the bed and slid the suitcase up against the closet.

  “I cleaned the sheets last week after my sister and her brother visited,” his mom said as she moved across the room to the nightstand, where she flicked the lamp switch—Pop! “Oh. My. Well, I’ll get another bulb.”

  Colton angled around Piper—ignoring the way she smelled—like spices. He had to get his head together. “You’ve got a bathroom all to yourself, which should be nice.” Nice? Having her own shower? What was wrong with him?

  “Colton, are you angry with me?”

  There it was again. That particular note in her voice that plucked his heart strings. The words sounded small, weak. Everything in him wanted to take her into his arms the way he’d done back at her place—the only thing that felt right in years—but he forced himself to remember the things Lambert had told him. The phones, utilities, lease …

  Why was she running?

  It gnawed at the little confidence he had left, at the inkling of a notion that she might actually be the one for him. Who was he kidding? He’d already set his heart on her. And that hurt bad, real bad, knowing she had planned to leave him. And McKenna.

  Which was all the more reason this idea of Lambert’s was stupid. Piper would be around Mickey more, and it’d only make things worse when Piper left. He could abide her leaving him—

  Dawg, he wasn’t fooling anyone. He couldn’t abide her leaving. Period.

  “Colton, please talk to me,” Piper whispered as she stepped closer and placed a hand on his arm. “I …”

  He fastened his gaze to the doorjamb. Didn’t know what everything meant, but it sure bugged him that his instincts had been tingling since she came into his life, then all the stuff Lambert mentioned, and then … “Your bags were already packed.”

  A quiet intake of breath drew his unwilling gaze to hers. Piper’s chin trembled as wide eyes darted over his face. Her lips parted as if she was going to say something. Instead, her eyes glossed. Vulnerability colored her tawny features.

  Everything in him went rigid as her eyes filled with tears, but he couldn’t—wouldn’t—give in. Not this time. He’d been hoodwinked once by pretty eyes. How idiotic could one man be?

  He’d learned a few things since then. “Were you going to leave me, Piper?”

  Again, she sucked in a breath and gulped it down. Her nostrils flared.

  He gave a curt nod. “Thought so.” Colton stepped away—

  “Wait.” She clamped a hand on him again and wedged herself between him and the doorjamb. “Please let me explain.”

  He snorted. Couldn’t help it. Did she really think any excuse she had would repair what she’d damaged—like his trust? “It’s late. I need to get some rest.” Colton pushed himself away from her, stomped down the hall, around the corner, and stopped short.

  His mom jerked off the wall and swiped her face. She gave the fake smile he’d seen many times before. “Well, I finally found the bulb,” she said and held one up. “Good night, God bless.” She tiptoed up and planted a kiss on his cheek.

  Colton fisted his hands, thinking of the way Piper was hurting his family. The way she’d hurt Mickey, pretending to be nice and all sweet, when she so clearly wasn’t who or what they thought.

  He tromped back to his room, yanked off his boots, and dropped them against the hardwood floor. Unbuttoning his shirt, he fell back against the mattress. Groaned. He tried to batten down the swell of anger and frustration. Colton roughed a hand over his face and groaned again. How did this always happen to him?

  A gentle knock pulled him straight. “Come in.”

  The door opened, and his dad slipped into the room looking weary and drawn.

  Colton frowned. “What’re you doing up? Are you okay?”

  “Couldn’t sleep.”

  “You mean Mom woke you.”

  “Something like that. Wanna talk?”

  Flopped back against the bed, Colton studied the beam directly over his bed that stretched across the room. “Not really.”

  “I’ll wait.”

  Colton couldn’t help the smile. He’d gotten his tenacity from his father. It’s what made his dad a great chopper pilot in Nam. “I can’t talk, Pop.”

  Quiet fell between them as Colton once again found himself staring at the beam. Even if he could bring himself to talk about it, he had no idea where to start. Had no idea what he believed. The sincerity in her voice, in those tears, told him she had a legit reason behind the packed bags.

  “Son, the heart finds a way to talk.”

  Prying himself off the bed, Colton sighed. “I did what you’ve been telling me for the last two years—I took a chance.” He removed his shirt and tossed it in the hamper. “And I got burnt.” Threading his arms through a T-shirt, he suffocated the voice that said he was jumping to conclusions. But what other conclusion was there when she had her bags packed and utilities shut off? “Whatever I thought might happen with her is gone.”

  “You brought her back to the house.”

  “Not by my choice. And since you brought that up, nobody takes her anywhere or lets her drive. No phone calls either.”

  “Crust of bread, cup of water?” Mischievous eyes peered up at him.

 
The comment punched. “Just trust me on this, okay?”

  “On one condition.”

  Colton paused, reticence choking the breath from him. He hated it when his father did this because the condition always coiled and struck like a viper.

  “You know I stay out of your affairs for the most part.”

  With a hesitant nod, he conceded the point.

  “But I want you to keep your mind and heart open where Piper is concerned.”

  Colton shook his head. “I know too many things.”

  “Well, son, that might be your problem.”

  She had to leave. Staying here jeopardized this family—the people who’d welcomed her so wholly and willingly. Fully clothed and propped on the edge of the tub, Piper cupped her hands over her face. Tears streamed down as fast and hot as the water in the shower behind her.

  Confusion and chaos choked her mind. She couldn’t remain here—it put the Neeleys in danger. Yet she couldn’t leave either—she’d never find her way in the dark and on foot.

  But she had to try. She wouldn’t hurt this family, not any more than she already had. Thank goodness McKenna was already asleep. The little one wouldn’t ask her father where she was in the morning because she’d never know Piper had been here. The men had found her apartment and tried to force her to show them where the chip was, but she’d denied knowing its location. About the time they figured out she did know where it was, Colton had showed up.

  Piper shoved the thoughts of Colton and his magnificent handling of the men from her mind. She had to be focused—on getting away from them. From Colton.

  Her chest constricted—she didn’t want to leave him. Especially not with him thinking horrible things about her, which she saw as clear as the sun reflecting off the Sea of Galilee. And the stiff way he had pushed her aside. His actions had said one thing, but the tone when he’d asked that question, the one that stabbed her straight through the heart—”Were you going to leave me, Piper?”—told a different story.

  She was wasting her breath and precious minutes. People still wanted her to get to her father. And they’d stop at nothing to make sure that happened. Her father held powerful secrets he was never intended to access, and those most affected by that knowledge wanted him dead. Baba was a master at hiding, and once he’d sent her here, he’d vanished into the Israeli air.

  The only way to contact him was a chip with encoded IEP addresses, chosen in a particular pattern. When she accessed one, it activated his and opened that site. Afterward, the code dissolved and the program waited for her next access.

  That was what the men wanted. That was what would help them find her father. It was the only weak part of Baba’s plan. Yet he’d insisted they maintain a way to stay in contact.

  If she left here, left Colton, he and his family would be safe.

  She would not.

  Here, she had a modicum of assurance that her life was not in danger. That Colton would save her, no matter the cost. But what right did she have to put his life or McKenna’s at risk to save hers?

  None.

  She had to leave.

  Piper hung her head and stared at the brown tiles. Yeshua. …

  She didn’t know what to pray. Leaving felt like an egregious betrayal toward Colton. So did staying.

  Yeshua, guide me. I don’t know what to do.

  A series of rapid thuds snapped her out of the prayer. Piper pushed to her feet, unsteady and shuddering as she stumbled from the bathroom.

  More banging. “Piper, it’s me.” Colton’s voice drew her to the bedroom door. “Open up.”

  She hurried toward the door. A whoosh draped the air with the scent of him.

  “Just wan—” He snapped his mouth closed and frowned.

  Only then did she wonder what her face must look like. Were there black streaks down her face from the tears? “Sorry. I …” Absently, she wiped at her face, surprised at the discoloration on her palms.

  “I’m setting the alarm.”

  Should that mean something to her?

  “Opening doors or windows will set off the alarm.” Hands on his hips, he scowled. “The cops will come.”

  Slowly, realization dawned. “You think I’m going to leave?”

  He held her gaze evenly. “I don’t know what I think right now.”

  “Well, you’re obviously not setting the alarm for all the hoodlums wandering the pothole-eaten country roads.” Indignation swelled in her chest. “This isn’t exactly the crime capital of the world, is it? I mean, probably the biggest crime is having a cow stolen.”

  His face reddened.

  “If you want to accuse me—”

  “Night.” He spun on his bare feet and disappeared around the corner.

  Numb, Piper stood there, staring into the darkened hall. Her heart dropped into her chest. She padded after him, unwilling to let him think … whatever he was thinking! In the living area, she caught sight of his broad form as it entered the kitchen.

  “What are you afraid of?” she hissed across the room. “What have I done to you?”

  Like a phantom, he suddenly rushed toward her and loomed over her. Expression darkened, eyes filled with fury, he ground his teeth—the muscle popping in his jaw.

  This isn’t what she wanted—his anger. The anger and frustration whooshed out of her. She wanted … Her shoulders sagged. “Why won’t you talk to me?” she whispered. His visage blurred as the stupid tears came again.

  “If you want to talk,” he said with a tight tone, “we can talk in the morning.”

  “What’s wrong with right now?”

  Brow furrowed and lips taut, he took a step back. “You don’t want to hear what I have to say tonight.” Without a word, he went to the front door. Soon, a beeping sound poked into the thrumming quiet of the house.

  Colton returned a moment later. Nodded. And vanished into the darkened hall that led to his room.

  Piper stared at the front door, at the red light glaring at her from an instrument panel. No way out. Nowhere to go. Physically and emotionally trapped.

  But I don’t want out.

  She wanted to stay. Wanted to be a part of this family. Startled at the thought, she blinked and looked back toward the darkness of the hall. Would he ever forgive her for this disaster? Would he understand all the secrecy, the … deception?

  Why should he? Piper hung her head. But then a renewed resolve settled into her heart. She wouldn’t give up without trying.

  Was it—was he worth fighting for? She raised her chin and glanced around the house, filled with every nuance of all that was Colton Neeley.

  Yes. Definitely.

  She went into the kitchen, pulled the kettle from the gas stove, filled it with water—which reminded her she’d left the shower on—then placed it on the stove. Back in her room, she turned off the shower, grabbed her journal, and returned to the kitchen.

  Armed with a steaming mug of tea, she sat at the kitchen table, determined to make sure she saw Colton first thing before he left the house to work, or do things around the property, or whatever. She wouldn’t miss the opportunity. She’d tell him as much as she could without jeopardizing her father.

  Over the next several hours, she wrote her heart out on the pages of her leather-bound journal, what she’d tell him, what she wanted him to know. It wasn’t until she stared down at three little words that she felt her breath back into her throat.

  I love him.

  Did she really love him? What was love? Was it the way his smile made her heart skip a couple of beats? And why on earth would she think she loved him? Was it his gentlemanly charm? Good looks? The way his drawl thickened when he was flustered? Or maybe the ache deep in her that made her want to convince Colton she wasn’t lying to him, that she wasn’t a bad person? She wanted that so much … almost more than she wanted to protect her father’s whereabouts.

  Almost. The fate of a nation depended on his safety, and nothing was more important.

  After three mugs of her
bal tea, nature called. Piper set her mug in the sink and went to the bathroom. Stifling a yawn, she returned to the kitchen—and froze. Colton stood at the table, her journal in hand. His dark look drained her courage. A chill scampered over her shoulders.

  He tossed down the book, spun around, grabbed a duffel bag from the doorway, and stormed down the hall.

  “Colton?” A series of beeps pervaded the hall, then the side door opened, pulling Piper from her shock. “Where are you going?”

  He punched open the door and stepped onto the covered porch.

  Piper raced down the steps after him, cringing as cold gravel poked into her bare feet. “You said we could talk this morning.” Come to think of it, what time was it? She pushed the long strands from her face as he followed him to the garage.

  “No time.”

  “But you said—”

  “Plans change. I got a call.”

  Piper stepped on the cement slab that bore his massive truck and folded her arms against the early morning chill. “You don’t have fifteen minutes?”

  “Not this time.” He swung his bag into the passenger side of his truck. Grabbed another pack from a corner and stowed it in the back.

  Taking tentative steps, she worked up her courage. “I stayed up to make sure we could talk.”

  “I could tell. You look drawn.”

  She blinked, surprised at the curt comment.

  Colton glanced at her and huffed. “Now, don’t go lookin’ at me like that. You had a bad night. You need the rest, that’s all I’m saying.” There went that thick drawl. “It’s part of the healing process.”

  “Did you sleep?”

  His blue eyes darted to her again. Then away. He adjusted a strap on one of the bags and rethreaded. “I didn’t wake my folks to tell them I got called up.” He looked at her.

  “I can tell them.”

  He paused, then met her gaze. Colton sighed.

  Piper joined him and placed a hand on his forearm “Colton, please give me ten minutes. I have some things I want to tell you.”

  With a step back, he seemed ready to run.

  “Did you read my journal?”

  To her surprise, his face reddened.