Digitalis

by Ronie Kendig

  Locks slammed back, and the door eased open. What, had they come to deport her now? Without the mission, without Colton, she had nothing left here.

  “How are you holding up?”

  Piper spun toward the old, rattling voice. Her godfather, Charles Falde, let himself into the warehouse office, armed with two diet colas. He held one out to her. “It might be awhile.”

  On her feet, she mechanically accepted the drink. “They’re not going to help my father! What do I do?”

  Sadness lingered in his brown eyes. “One thing at a time, my dear.” Easing himself into a seat at the head of the table, he motioned for her to join him. “Perhaps you could talk to this Colton. The team seems to hold his opinion in high regard.”

  One arm wrapped around herself, Piper set the drink on the hard surface and perched on the edge of the chair. Hunched, she let her gaze trickle over her slacks. “His father died because of me. He would not listen to anything I have to say.” But the thought … the thought that she’d lived this long and endured so much only to have her father die … She leaned toward him and caught his hand. “Whatever Baba found is important. He wouldn’t have sent me here and done all this if it weren’t.” She squeezed his arm. “I—we can’t give up. If I have to do it on my own, I won’t let him die. I won’t.”

  His gaze dropped.

  Was it disappointment she saw in his eyes? “You don’t think I can.” The thought rammed into her chest. Knocked the breath out of her. Forced her to realize the truth. If she could not convince Colton … “I’ve already failed Baba.”

  He held up both pudgy hands. “My dear Lily, you did your absolute best.”

  Her thoughts collided against each other. “I should have left the city earlier. Should’ve kept running or trying to get away. Perhaps I could’ve hidden my identity better, not been so desperate to talk to him and contact the griefer.” She put her fingers to her lips with a gasp. “Is it my fault? Is that how they found him?”

  “Now, don’t you start blaming yourself. There are massive forces behind all this that are way out of your control. Just because this Colton is overreacting gives you no reason to doubt yourself.”

  “Overreact? His father was killed because they welcomed me into their home!” Hot tears streaked down her face. She pushed out of her chair and walked to the window.

  “Now, Lily …” He struggled to his feet.

  “Please, don’t try to comfort me. I don’t deserve it. And I don’t want it.” Her father’s plight felt a lifetime away compared to the heartache of losing Colton. It took a concerted effort to remind herself that she was fighting a real battle to save her father—not some ambiguous man with … whatever secret he’d unearthed.

  After one last rub against her back, he settled against the window in front of her, but she didn’t want the forthcoming heart-to-heart she saw in his aged face, so she pushed her gaze out the window. “And what does my goddaughter want then?”

  Colton. She darted a look to Charlie, then down. “I want my father safe.” Even to her, the words felt empty and rang against her conscience.

  “And?” He arched an eyebrow at her. “It seems to me more was said in that conference with the men than what was actually spoken.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “You love him, yes?”

  “Of course I love my father.”

  Kind eyes indulged her. He leaned his back against the window and smiled at the ceiling. “Connie and I did not have children, so when your father asked me to be your godfather, it was a dream come true.”

  And the point?

  “So when I sat watching the team as you explained the story, more than once I wished for my Winchester.”

  “You mean the kid who kept making comments?” She laughed trying to shake off the intensity in his expression and words.

  “No, I mean the cowboy who looked so conflicted and tormented but could not keep his eyes off my goddaughter.”

  She shifted and looked out the window. “Well,” she said, barely above a whisper. “He made his decision, I think.”

  “This man, this Colton … he stole your heart. Tell me about that.”

  Piper’s shoulders sagged again. “Baba told me never to get close to anyone. Now, I understand why. Baba’s secret killed Colton’s father. I love him, and when Colton sees me, all he can see is …” She swallowed against tears. Childish tears.

  “Lily, love covers a multitude of sins.”

  “That’s just it,” she said, sniffling as she dried her face. “I don’t think my feelings were reciprocated. When I told him that I loved him, he yelled that I didn’t even know him.”

  “Do you?”

  “Yes. And I don’t deserve him.” Hot tears won, spilling over her lids and racing down her cheeks.

  An arm wrapped her in a hug. “If that man knew you as well as I, he would be proud to call you his own.” He squeezed her hand. “If you’ll excuse me …”

  Piper worked to stem the flow of tears as he rapped on the door behind her. A second later, chains rattled and the door squeaked open behind her. Thud! The closing door knocked the tears free. The more she tried to stop them, the more they flowed. She rested her head against the rail, remembering the way Colton had aimed his gun at her, fierce resolution carved into his rugged face. How had it all gotten so terribly out of control? So terribly insane and messed up?

  She searched the sky for a ray of sunshine and hope, but the gray storm clouds only served to echo the desperation brewing within her. The locks behind her and Colton’s hatred locked her in a prison of her own doing. No way out. No hope. No chance her father would survive.

  If he was still alive.

  CHAPTER 19

  Stupid pink poodle. Colton rubbed the annoying little keychain between his fingers, remembering when Mickey had asked him to hold it as he hurried her and his mom into the terminal. He’d slipped it into his pocket and forgotten about it.

  Now, the thing seemed to claw at him, a reminder of when things were simple. Yeah. Like when he actually thought Piper was Piper. Now she had some Jewish name he couldn’t even pronounce.

  Leaning on the locker, he rested his forehead against his arm and closed his eyes. He tightened his fist around the stuffed toy and willed that he could squeeze the guts out of it. Out of this whole mess.

  Voices in the hall jerked him back into action. He grabbed a pair of socks and stuffed them into the duffel, leaving the keychain with it. A plot to really hurt Israel, huh? Protecting her father …

  He could understand that. He could. But you draw the line when it puts someone else in danger—like his father.

  The door flung open. Though he wouldn’t look, it sounded like the entire team was coming. Probably to talk him out of quitting. Let ‘em try. He’d had enough. Just wanted to put his life back together. Save what was left of his ranch. Rebuild. Forget he ever tried to love again.

  A locker hinge squawked behind him.

  Then beside.

  And the other side.

  Colton glanced around, confused as the others drew out packs and garbage bags and began filling them. He shifted, eyeing Griffin as he grabbed a trash can, set it in front of his open locker, reached in, and

  scraped everything into the gray bin.

  What on earth …?

  Max rammed clothes and shoes into a bag.

  “What’s going on?” Colton angled to his left.

  “Cleaning out,” Midas mumbled as he meticulously folded his clothes and tucked them into a pack.

  “What do you mean?”

  “We quit,” the Kid said. “If you’re out, I am, too. I’m not going into any firefight without you. No way. No how.”

  Stunned, Colton glanced at the others. “Come on, guys.”

  Then Max stood. “I gotta say, this time—I’m with the Kid. If you’re out, then that’s enough for me to step down.”

  “Wait,” Colton said as he turned. “This is my choice. A decision I made for me. This ha
s nothing to do with y’all. You don’t—”

  “You don’t get it, do you?” Max stood up to Colton without an inch of fear, his dark eyes boring through Colton’s skull. “You’re the backbone, Cowboy. You pull out; we crumple.”

  “No,” Colton argued. “You’re a team. You work good—”

  “The team?” Griffin clamped a hand on Colton’s shoulder. “The team consists of me, Midas”—who stepped closer and nodded—”Frogman”—Max swatted his chest—”and the Kid, sadly.”

  “Hey!”

  “And you.” He shook Colton. “We ain’t a team without you. Without you, we’re just four guys with a sad excuse for living.”

  But Piper’s father …

  Colton pursed his lips. “Now listen here. I appreciate what y’all are trying to do, show me your support ‘nd all, but—”

  “Support? If I needed support, I’d buy a jock strap.” Max snorted. “Dude, you haven’t learned a thing have you? A team. Inseparable. Already down one man, we cannot stand without you.”

  “We won’t.” Midas shook his head. “Not happening.”

  Colton eased onto the bench, hung his head as he propped his arms on his legs. “I can’t do this.” Go after Piper’s father, find him—rescue her father while her actions killed his? “She lied to me, deceived me, and I thought I loved her. I hate her.”

  Max joined him. “Hate is a very intense feeling.” His dark eyes looked up at him. “I know. You helped me work through a lot of that—well, you and Marshall’s face.”

  “Leave my face out of this.”

  “But I’m here,” Max continued. “I’m not leaving you. Neither are any of the guys. Whatever’s going on, whatever you’re feeling, we feel it, too.”

  “I can’t do this. I can’t.”

  “Then it’s settled.” Griffin assumed a seat across from them. “We don’t go. We turned in our keys. The warehouse will be demolished within a week. Nightshade will cease to exist.” He shrugged. “It’ll be over.”

  Though his heart seized, Colton tried to bolster his vanishing courage. “I know what you’re trying to do.”

  “I don’t think you do,” Griffin said. “This isn’t fancy talk. This is real, Cowboy. Together. All of us. Or none of us.”

  Colton hung his head. Not because of me. He couldn’t let the team fall apart because of him. “You don’t understand. I’m not quitting because …” Why couldn’t he get the words out? “Look, I just can’t keep going. I can’t live knowing …” Why couldn’t he say it was because of Piper—Ke-whatever-her-name-is.

  “You got it bad for the girl. I see that. We understand. You love her, let her into your life and your home, and she did this thing to your family—to us. Each of us. Like Frogman said—we all feel it.”

  Each of the men around him stood strong and resolute in their commitment to the team. Every one. Except him. How had he gotten so offtrack?

  “What you’re feeling right now, it’s all right. We aren’t asking you to change that. We are your brothers.”

  Colton raked both hands through his short crop and pushed off the bench. He walked a circle and gave himself some room. He shifted, pressed his fingers against a metal locker. Four men sat in this room willing to sacrifice their careers as a pledge of camaraderie and solidarity. Despite the war within, he couldn’t abandon them.

  He ached, wanting his father not to have died for nothing. “What was Lambert’s plan?”

  “Snatch-and-grab,” Midas said.

  “Well, if it were that simple, we’d probably be there and back already,” the Kid said.

  Max strode toward him. “It won’t be easy, we’ll be disavowed if captured, and chance of success is next to nothing.”

  Griffin laughed. “Sounds like our kind of mission.”

  Max’s eyes darkened. “We’re already down one man, and if you aren’t with us, then there is no us.”

  “I swore I’d never go back to Israel.”

  “Why?”

  “My sister …” Bloody images swam at him, plucking at his courage, pulling at his mind. He shook his head. “My sister died there.”

  Yeshua… forgive me for what I’ve done to Colton. I never meant to hurt him.

  The door opened and closed again, but guilt kept her at the window, staring into the dark night. Having her godfather here was such a comfort. He’d seen through her facade to the truth of her feelings for Colton. She drew in a breath, fearing what truth or decision he’d returned to deliver. She smeared the tears away mumbling, “I fear Colton won’t forgive me.”

  “Reckon the chances are slim.”

  Piper spun at the voice—Colton’s voice. He stood, hands fisted as his sides, his shoulders tensed, and eyes dark. She searched … hunted … for something that would bridge the gap between them, but what could she offer? What could she say? Sorry seemed empty, trite. But it was all she had.

  “I’m very sorry, Colton.”

  “See there?” he said, an edge hardening his words. “That’s a problem. You know my name. I don’t know yours.” His shoulders hunched. “Come to think of it, I’m not even sure I know who you are.”

  “My name—” She licked her lips. “I’m still the same person.”

  “Yeah.” His left eye twitched. “Seems to me that’s part of the problem. The person named Piper kept secrets. Didn’t come clean.”

  Palms out, she took several steps toward him. “I tried. When your—” She stopped cold, remembering his mother’s scream that had cut off her confession. Even now, that sound scraped against her soul.

  “Go on.” His nostrils flared. “Finish what you were saying.”

  Piper couldn’t bring herself to say the words.

  “Finish it!”

  She jolted at his anger and looked at him, begging he wouldn’t make her do this. But he was. And he didn’t care how much it hurt her. “I was about to tell you when they killed your father.”

  He nodded, his lips pulled into a thin, almost invisible line. She understood the emotion written on his face. What it meant—Colton wanted someone held responsible for his father’s death. She’d want someone to pay if her father died.

  “That’s why I tried to leave town. I tried. You stopped me.” Her heart felt like it was about to leap out of her chest.

  He drew himself straight. “So it’s my fault?”

  “No!” She shook her head quickly and looked down. “I just want you to believe that I never wanted you or your family to get hurt.” She brushed the hair from her face and stalked to the window. “I knew they’d found me, and I was trying to get away before anyone got hurt. It’s why my bags were packed when you came that night.”

  Quiet bathed the room, save the clanking of a flag pole out the window and across the open parking lot. Hands on the rusty window frame, she leaned out a bit and tried to catch a crisp scent of the water. Instead, a wash of stale, dank odors drifted up from the Dumpster parked below the window. She winced and slumped back. Turned around.

  Colton ran a hand over the back of his neck. “How’d you know they found you?”

  “We had this way to communicate, a code that I could send through a griefer—”

  “Come again?”

  “A griefer, a person who likes to cause grief for Web sites, normally for gamers. They go in, send flying spaceships through a site just to irritate people.” She shrugged. “Annoying, but very effective. My father arranged to have one work as a median between us.”

  “Go on.”

  She seized the tenuous thread that said he might not hate her for the rest of her life. “The last time I tried to send a relay to my father, the griefer denied me access. Said I had the wrong site.”

  “Did you?”

  Shaking her head, she gave a caustic laugh. “Trust me—my father’s life depended on me going to the right site. I wasn’t going to make an idiotic mistake typing in the wrong URL.”

  Emotion flickered through his face, through his lips, and nearly halted her willingness to t
ell him any more. But she’d told him once that she would give him the entire truth, and if she was here till midnight, she’d make sure he knew everything.

  “I insisted he get a message to my father. That’s when the griefer said I’d been found and to get out.” Massaging her temples didn’t help the throb in her head.

  “How’d he know?”

  “Either he saw something in the codes—maybe tracing sequences or whatever—or the message was actually from my father, somehow. So I stayed at a hotel that night, then the next day ran home, packed, shut down all my utilities, and was ready to leave town, but …”

  “But?” Colton folded his arms. Unfolded them. Folded again. Then planted his hands on his belt. “Lambert sent me in here. Said you have something I need, that the team needs.”

  Her heart skipped a beat. “They’re—you’re going to help save my father?”

  Ironically, even though she’d spent very little time with the man, she knew him. Knew that right now, he was working very hard to control his emotions—particularly his anger.

  “I think,” he continued with a long exhale, gripping the back of a chair. “I think he wants us to kiss and make up.”

  Piper’s gaze popped to his.

  He straightened, towering over her. “But that’s not going to happen. Got it?”

  Regret pushed her into a chair at the opposite end of the table.

  “Because the woman I dated, the woman I let into my life is Piper Blum.” His chest heaved. “And she doesn’t exist.”

  Disbelief squirreled through her. “Is that …” She couldn’t say it. Though she tried to put the shock into words, she couldn’t. Instead, she planted her hands on the table and pushed to her feet. “If you really think a name is all it takes to wipe me from your life, you’re not half the man I thought you were.”

  “And you’re not the woman I thought you were at all.”

  “I am still Piper. I am still the woman you kissed, the woman who birthed Firefox’s foal with you.”

  “Hershey died in the fire.”

  His words smacked her back. “No …”

  “Try something else.”

  “What is this? A competition?”