“But why are you dressed like a scary old crone?” Jonah asks.
“I’m going to test the finalists on kindness,” I say. “Remember the coins we gave them?”
“Yeah,” Jonah says. “I’m the one who handed them out.”
“Right. And now I’m going to walk up to the girls and say I haven’t eaten in days and have no money for shoes. I’m going to see who cares — and who doesn’t.”
“Brilliant!” Jonah says.
I beam. “I totally agree.”
“You come up with the best ideas, Abby,” he says.
“I can’t take all the credit,” I say. “Minerva was the one who said we should test for kindness. I just had the idea for how.”
“How did you think of it?”
“It’s from Beauty and the Beast! Remember? The fairy turns herself into an old woman and asks for shelter!”
“Oh, right! Are we going to curse everyone who doesn’t help?”
“No,” I say. “We’re just going to kick them out of the contest.”
I sneak around the back of the castle so that I’ll come from a different direction. I hunch my back and pull my raggedy hood over my head. Prince nuzzles my foot.
“Pretend you don’t know me, okay, buddy?” I tell him. I can’t have him betraying my identity.
I approach the table where the girls are, and disguise my voice and make it extra raspy. “Ooh, my aching back,” I say, rubbing it for good measure. “Do I smell cookies? I haven’t had anything to eat in days.”
“Ugh, go away,” Holga says to me. She scrunches up her face.
Aha! She’s a meanie!
“At least she’s blocking the sun,” Teara says as she continues to fan herself with the big leaf.
Wow, not very nice, girls. A big F on the kindness round for you two.
“Can anyone spare a coin?” I ask. “I’m so hungry. And my feet hurt so much because I don’t have any shoes.”
Without any hesitation, Belly plucks her gold coin from her pocket. She stares at it. “I’ve never had a gold coin before. But you need this more than I do. I have a place to sleep and food to eat.” Belly puts the coin in the palm of my hand with a warm smile.
I have a lump in my throat. Belly is THE BEST.
“Thank you,” I say, trying to keep myself from tearing up.
Wendy stands up and walks over to me. “One coin might buy you a meal, but you won’t be able to afford shoes, too,” she says. “Here, take mine as well.” She puts her gold coin in my hand.
AWWW!
“What a nice person you are,” I croak out.
Tulip is the only one who hasn’t said anything yet. I know how much she loves her gold coin.
“Beggar woman,” Tulip says. “If you’re going to buy shoes, you’ll need a new dress to go with it. You can’t possibly wear that old raggedy thing with new shoes.” She looks at the gold coin in her hand, sighs, and then flips it into my palm.
I stare at Tulip in total shock. I didn’t expect that. At all.
I blink back tears. I love all three of them!
I throw off the hood and take off the tattered dress. I remove my mask.
All five finalists gasp.
“Abby!” Belly says. “It’s you!”
“Yup. And three of you passed the kindness test — Belly, Wendy, and Tulip. Congratulations on doing the kind thing.”
“Yeah!” Wendy says, pumping her fist in the air.
“I’m not so sure I was being kind,” Tulip says, cocking her head to the side. “It was more about fashion.”
I laugh. Something tells me that Penny and Miss Princess-without-a-Kingdom would be great friends. “I don’t know,” I say. “You were still willing to help. That’s kindness.”
A smile curves Tulip’s mouth. “I suppose.”
Belly grins. “Wow, who knew that just being nice would make us winners?”
“I did,” I say, tossing her gold coin back to her. I give Tulip and Wendy theirs, too.
“You tricked us,” Holga snaps.
“I did,” I say.
“Well, I’m not giving back my gold coin,” she says.
“Me neither,” says Teara.
“That’s your choice,” I tell them.
The two girls stomp off.
Belly, Wendy, and Tulip remain standing there.
But only one is going to be crowned winner — and princess of Bog.
At this point, I love them all.
Can they all win?
A few hours later, Jonah and I walk into the Great Hall. Lawrence, Minerva, and three other members of the court are seated in a row of chairs at the front of the room. Across from them is an empty seat. The room is packed with people.
The three finalists are standing on the sidelines, waiting to be called for their interview.
“Come on, Jonah,” I say. “Let’s find seats in the audience.”
“Why aren’t we judging this round?” Jonah asks. “You’re the princess of Bog. You should pick the person replacing you.”
“It doesn’t seem fair for me to decide who’ll be princess since I won’t be here anyway,” I point out. “Also, I’ve only been princess for like a day. And we have to leave in like five hours. It’s already six-thirty at home.”
“True,” Jonah says. He leans closer to me. “Belly should win. She was the first to give up her coin. That means she’s the kindest.”
“We’re not rating who’s the kindest of the finalists,” I point out.
“I’m just saying. If there’s a tie, being the nicest could tip things Belly’s way.”
I sigh. “Belly is just too … low-key. But Wendy? She has it all.”
Jonah crosses his arms over his chest. “Well, I think Belly does.”
“No way will Belly do well on the interview part of the contest,” I say. “Sorry, but it’s true.”
He shrugs and points at two empty seats in the second row. We hurry over and sit down. Prince curls up at Jonah’s feet.
I look around. Many of the former contestants are here, and their families, too, as well as members of the court and villagers. Everyone has come to see who will be crowned princess of Bog.
I glance at my watch again. Time is tight. At least we know where the portal is.
I’ll miss this place. Maybe not the humidity and my crazy hair. But I’ll miss being able to make decisions and plan events like this contest.
“Attention!” Lawrence says to the crowd. “We will now begin the final round to see who will be named princess of Bog.”
“We call Belly to the chair,” a woman next to Lawrence says. I’m pretty sure she’s the minister of villagers.
Belly bites her lip and slowly stands up. She looks nervous. She’s definitely not used to this kind of thing.
As she walks over to the chair, I take stock of her. She’s medium height, medium weight, medium everything — even medium-brown hair, medium length. She does have a nice smile, but she seems too nervous to smile now.
“Belly, please tell the court why you should be named princess of Bog,” the minister of villagers says.
Belly doesn’t respond.
A long moment passes.
“Come on, Belly,” Jonah whispers. “You can do it.”
I watch Belly. She’s not saying anything.
C’mon, say something!
I knew it. She’s just too quiet. Jonah has to accept she’s not princess-of-Bog material.
But finally, Belly clears her throat.
“I believe I should be named princess of Bog because I care about our community very much,” she says. “From the court to the village and everything that affects us. I know a lot about the swamps and how they work. I will stand up for every villager, and ensure that all citizens of Bog — young and old, rich or poor — thrive. And I promise to lead with courage, bravery, loyalty, and kindness. Thank you.” She walks back over to the sidelines and stands next to Wendy and Tulip.
Wow. That was great. She might be quiet
, but she’s thoughtful. And succinct.
“Yes!” Jonah whispers next to me with a fist pump. “Go, Belly!”
“I now call Wendy to the chair,” the minister of food says.
Wendy launches into a handstand and hand-walks over to the chair. She does a backflip and lands right on her butt on the seat.
So impressive! I can do a handstand, too, but for like two seconds, max.
The audience breaks into cheers and claps.
“Wendy, please tell the court why you should be named princess of Bog,” the minister continues.
“Because I’m tough! I’m fearless! And I will get the job done. Yeah!” she shouts, flexing her muscles, which are mighty. “Go, Bog!” she says, and returns to the sidelines next to Belly and Tulip.
“I now call Princess Tulip to the chair,” the minister of kingdoms says.
“Can a maid carry me over?” Tulip asks. “I’ve had a long day and my feet are killing me.”
“Maid!” Minerva calls. “Carry the princess to the chair.”
Everyone watches as one of the maids, not much taller or bigger than Tulip herself, picks her up and struggles to carry her over to the chair.
“Thank you, dear,” Tulip says with a warm smile. “You’re a peach.”
“You’re welcome,” the maid responds, and scurries off.
“Princess Tulip,” Lawrence begins. “Please tell the court why you should be named princess of Bog.”
Tulip begins fanning herself with her mini-frond fan. She takes a deep breath and opens her mouth, then shuts it.
That’s weird. Why isn’t she answering?
Finally, Tulip clears her throat and says, “I —”
Before Tulip can say another word, the doors to the Great Hall burst open. What’s going on?
At least thirty soldiers storm the room. They are all wearing white and gold.
Before we even know what’s happening, they have our ten Bog soldiers surrounded.
“Take these Bog soldiers to the dungeon!” a guy in a gold mask orders his henchmen. “Use their precious ladders to bar the doors!”
Wait a minute. I know that smug, whiny voice. And I’d recognize that flowy blond hair anywhere. It’s Prince Micha!
He’s taking over the kingdom!
“Sneak attack!” Jonah cries. “Ahhh!”
Ahhh is right! Everyone is screaming and trying to run. Some villagers manage to escape the room.
“Round up the court, the pea princess and her brother, and the finalists for princess of Bog!” Prince Micha shouts.
Does he have to call me that?
The enemy soldiers are running right toward me. One soldier grabs my arm. I try to jab him with my elbow but miss. Crumbs.
I see a soldier nab Jonah’s arm, too. “Jonah!” I shout, straining toward my brother, but the soldier holding me has too good a grip.
More Bug soldiers grab Lawrence, Minerva, and the three ministers.
“Unhand me right now, you uncouth varmint!” Tulip demands. A tall soldier is holding her by the arm and she kicks him in the shin.
Prince Micha stares at Tulip. “Hey, wait a minute. I recognize you. You’re Princess Tulip of the Marsh kingdom. Well, you’re not a princess anymore. You’re a prisoner! Hahahaha!”
“Why are you doing this?” I demand.
Prince Micha sneers at me. “We want your mattresses. Ours are the worst! And we need the alligators back! We’re covered in mosquito bites!” He scratches his arm in a fury.
“You kicked out our alligators!” I snap. “And you said our mattresses were lumpy!”
“Well, I changed my mind! Too bad, so sad!” He glares at me and scratches his neck, then turns to his soldiers. “Take the prisoners to the moat and throw them in the old rowboat. It’ll either sink or the alligators will get them. Take off the oars!”
“You can’t do this!” I say, trying and failing to wriggle free from the soldier holding me.
Grr-woof! Grr-woof! Prince barks. He lunges for the soldier, but the guy grabs him and holds him tight with his free arm.
“You’d better not hurt my dog, OR ELSE!” I shout.
“Yeah!” Wendy yells. “Or you’ll answer to me!” She karate chops one of the three soldiers holding her. But it’s three against one and she can’t escape.
“A takeover is not the way to get what you want,” Belly says quietly.
Prince Micha sneers at her. “Oh, please. Of course it is.”
Belly lifts her chin and looks him right in the eye. “No. A true leader brings his or her issues to a meeting with other leaders and helps work out a plan that benefits everyone.”
Prince Micha laughs. “You’re hilarious. Now get them to the moat!” he orders his soldiers.
Noooo!
The soldiers lead us all outside. They force us to march down the stone steps of the moat alongside the castle.
Prince starts growling at the water. Then whimpering. His ears are flattened against his head. He starts to tremble.
Which can only mean one thing.
ALLIGATORS!
I see one. And another. Swimming in the moat.
“It’s an alligator family!” Jonah cries.
Plus, there’s only one boat. It’s long and wood and has no oars!
The soldiers push us all into the boat and untie it from the post. We’re drifting toward the center of the swamp.
We’re stuck. In the swamp. With hungry, annoyed alligators around us.
The portal back home is inside the castle. On the top mattress in Tulip’s room.
If we can’t get out of here, we can’t get home.
“Well, at least things can’t get worse,” Jonah says.
And then a big fat raindrop lands on my nose.
The rain pours down. The rowboat is quickly filling up with rainwater. This is a problem.
“I hate the rain! I hate swamps! I hate alligators!” Tulip’s thin shoulders are shaking.
I think she’s crying. It’s raining so hard I can’t be sure.
Prince Micha is standing by the palace entrance. He tilts his head. “I’ll make you a deal, Princess-Prisoner Tulip,” he calls out through the rain. “You are of royal blood. I will free you from this captivity if you agree to marry me. I can only marry a real princess, not some fake one chosen from a dumb pea test.”
Tulip stops shaking and looks over at him.
I guess she’s going to do it. I get it. She doesn’t want to drown. Too bad she’s about to be engaged to the worst prince in the history of princes.
“I shall send a soldier to fetch you, yes?” he asks.
She opens her mouth. I completely expect her to say yes.
“Are you crazy?” Tulip snaps instead. “You’re a total jerk! I would never want to marry you! I’d rather drown!”
I’d laugh if I wasn’t about to actually drown.
Tulip turns back to me. “First of all, I don’t even WANT to be a princess anymore. That’s what I was going to explain at my interview before horrible Prince Micha burst in.”
What? Who wouldn’t want to be a princess? Being a princess is amazing. Trust me, I know.
“Even when I was home, I never liked being a princess,” she says.
“Then why did you enter the contest to be princess of Bog?” I ask.
“To prove to myself that I WASN’T princess material,” Tulip explains. “I was so sure I’d fail. But thanks to you, Abby, instead I learned I AM princess material — smart, brave, and kind. And that means I can be anything I want. I don’t know what that is yet, but I know running a kingdom is not for me. I kind of want to do something more … fun?”
Boy, was I wrong about Tulip. Really wrong.
I hold up my hand for a high five.
She slaps me high and low.
“Yay, former Princess Tulip!” Jonah cheers loudly.
“You mean current Prisoner Tulip!” Prince Micha shouts, his face red with anger. “About to be dead Princess Tulip! You made the wrong decision!” he
adds. “I never liked you anyway!”
One of the big alligators snaps his teeth at Prince Micha.
“You either!” Prince Micha yells at the alligator. Then he turns and disappears back inside the castle.
I watch helplessly as our boat just floats along. Between the night sky and the rain and the fog, I can barely see a thing.
The one thing I can see? The half-submerged yellow eyes of the alligators at the edges of the swamp.
Fantastic.
I hold my watch up to my face and try to make out what time it is at home. Ahhh! It’s already 6:42 in the morning at Smithville. Jonah and I only have eighteen Smithville minutes — three hours here — to make it back.
I look over at Lawrence and the three ministers. They’re huddled in a corner of the boat, shaking and complaining. Minerva is so busy trying to calm them down that she isn’t much help to us.
Suddenly, the alligator that snapped at Prince Micha swims right toward our boat, his yellow eyes glowing in the water.
Oh, no. Oh no oh no!
I turn to Wendy, sure she has ideas. “Wendy,” I say, “what should we do?”
She stares at me blankly. “I don’t know. I DON’T KNOW!” she cries. “What should we do? I just can’t think under these conditions!”
“HELP!” Lawrence calls. “Someone help us!”
“Um, Lawrence,” I say. “There’s no one to help us. The soldiers took everyone else to the dungeons.”
“There’s so much rain!” Belly says. “If the moat floods, they’ll drown in the dungeon. It’s always the first to fill with water!”
“We have to save ourselves,” Jonah says. “And the soldiers!”
“But how?” Lawrence asks. “WE’RE TRAPPED OUTSIDE IN THE DARK IN A BOAT WITH ALLIGATORS!”
Wendy puts her head in her hands. “I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know.”
Hmm. Strong. Smart. But totally cracks in the face of pressure.
“I have an idea,” a voice says.
Everyone quiets down. Everyone looks around.
“Who said that?” I ask.
“I did,” Belly says, shoving back her plastered-to-her-face wet hair.
The court members look at Belly for one second, then turn away and start talking again. They’re totally ignoring her!
Two Peas in a Pod Page 8