by London Casey
I opened my mouth. I was seconds away from a bad situation turning really bad.
There was only one thing that came to mind to chase Walker away.
“Walker... I can’t... I’m pregnant.”
I had done something terrible. For everything terrible that Walker had done to me, this was worse. This was bad. This was a lie that would have no choice but to eventually blow up in my face. The only way out would be to fake something happening. But what kind of woman would that make me?
When I told Walker I was pregnant, sex was instantly off the table. He switched to celebration mode by leaving to run off and tell Owen. He ended up skidding off the side of the road and almost getting a DUI, except Owen took care of the paperwork and made everything disappear.
I was in my car, on the way to my old house. I wanted to check on my mother and I needed to talk to Owen. The big bad brother cop of mine still lived in the basement. Not that I could blame him, considering the basement was bigger than my apartment. I needed my own freedom, even if it was with Walker.
At a red light, I burst into tears. I thought about what would happen when the truth came out. Walker would lose his mind. Owen would hate me. Hell, maybe Owen wouldn’t help me get away from Walker. My mother was of no use because she leaned on Owen to take care of her, which had been the case since our father died.
Two words had completely screwed up my life.
I’m pregnant.
Even if I tried to fake something happening, that would end up with me and Walker having something deeper together. He was the kind of guy that could get into a car accident and shake hands with the other person yet if someone at a restaurant messed up his order, he’d throw a fit.
I pulled into the driveway and saw Owen’s SUV cruiser sitting there. I turned off my car and collected myself. I wiped my eyes and fixed my hair. To me, I looked like shit. Then again, I was pregnant so it was okay to look like shit.
When I got inside, I went to the dining room. Owen sat at the table, hands balled into fists, covering his mouth. His eyes were stone locked on the table. He was in full uniform and there was no sign of Mom.
“Owen?” I asked. “You okay?”
“The truth,” he said. “How couldn’t I see the truth?”
I swallowed hard. “What?”
He looked at me. “You knew the truth.” Owen put his hands to the table and rose up. I saw his fingers twitch, way too close to his gun. “You knew it, Olivia.”
My hand went to my stomach. “Owen...”
His eyes became glossy and he looked up. “She’s really losing her mind, isn’t she?”
Inside, I let out a sigh of relief. Owen had no idea about my fake pregnancy situation going on.
“I think she is,” I said. “What happened?”
“I came over and she had clothes in the microwave.”
“What?”
“When I was leaving this morning for my shift she mentioned the dryer wasn’t working right,” Owen said. “So I told her I’d take a look at it for her. She called and said something was smoking in the house. I flew over here, making calls to the goddamn fire department. When I realized it was the microwave, I ended the call with them. I’m going to take shit from those assholes about this. But I opened the microwave and Mom had socks and a shirt in there. They were burned to shit, big charred holes in them.”
I walked through the dining room to the kitchen. Right there on the counter were the clothes. I grabbed the shirt with my thumb and pointer and slowly lifted it up. It smelled disgusting. I put my foot to the trashcan and opened the lid. I dropped the clothes into the trash and then stuck my hand into the trash and buried the charred clothing. I went to the sink and washed my hands.
“What’s happening?” Owen asked.
“I don’t know. I’ve been seeing it for a while. Just little things. I noticed she’d call me and repeat herself. Not a big deal, but a few times, she would call five times with the same thing. Then I’d have lunch or dinner with her and I could see something was wrong. Like one second she was totally here, normal Mom, but then there would be these moments when she looked almost confused. She asked for Dad two times once.”
“No,” Owen said.
“Yeah. It threw me for a loop. I kind of laughed it off and she snapped back to reality.”
“What do we do?”
“Call a doctor, Owen. You know enough people, you could talk to someone.”
“That’s not my style,” Owen said. “My mother being sick? After everything we’ve gone through. No. I think it’s better we just watch her. I can have patrol cars keep an eye on the house.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I asked. “Your ego is in the way of this? A patrol car? What if she blows the house up?”
“Stop it,” Owen snapped. “Let me figure this out, Olivia. I just realized this. That’s why I’m talking to you. Give me some fucking credit for once here.”
I swallowed hard. “Okay. Fine. I’m sorry then, Owen.”
I walked to the backdoor and left the house. I went to the deck and stood there looking out to the beautiful forest backdrop. The door opened behind me. Owen didn’t back down from an argument.
“I’ll make a couple calls,” Owen said. “Let me try and talk to her. You know how it goes with Mom. She’s always gone through some deep bouts of depression because of Dad. Maybe there’s a reason behind it. You know? Maybe there’s something that happened with them we don’t know about and the date is approaching.”
I nodded. “Or maybe she’s losing her mind.”
Owen stepped up next to me and pointed to the backyard. “Remember when you had your cheerleading team over? What was it, ten of you? All trying to work out some routine. You had that big ass CD player with batteries in it. Listening to some remix. So I called up my buddies and had a football game.”
“You didn’t just have a football game,” I said. “You purposely chased all my friends away.”
“Yeah, I did. I was a prick.”
“Was?” I asked.
Owen laughed. “Truthfully, I had the hots for Steph. I didn’t know how to approach her. She was just so hot. I thought if I could catch a few balls or something, she’d want to play with mine.”
“Ew,” I said. “That’s disgusting.”
“Get ready for it.”
“Ready for what?”
Owen nodded to my stomach. “It’s your turn now. To deal with kids.”
I shuddered. I touched my stomach. “Oh, Owen... we have to talk about that. About Walker.”
“Listen to me, Olivia,” Owen said. He put a hand to my hand. “I know Walker is intense and an ass. I know it. He lives a crazy life with what he does. Underneath that shell he’s a good man. I just think you two being together had so much noise behind it, you know? All I’ve ever wanted to do was protect. Keep you safe from whatever was out there.”
“I’m a grown woman. I can take care of myself.”
“You couldn’t back then and look what happened.”
Slade.
I sighed. “You really think it was bad?”
“I saw the path, Olivia. You don’t know the shit they did. And the truth about that night... what he did... look, it doesn’t matter now. What matters is that you’re happy. You’re bringing me a niece or a nephew.”
“You’re what?” a voice asked.
I spun around, gasping for air.
Mom stood there, a coffee mug in her hand. Her eyes were wide and completely coherent. Her mouth slowly opened and her eyes filled with tears.
No, no, no...
“Oh,” Owen said. “Sorry, Olivia.”
Now it had gotten worse.
My mother didn’t know about my “pregnancy.”
(SLADE)
“Look at this,” I said, a cigarette between my lips. Ash fell to the old table, hitting the cards that were face down. I put my hand down and nodded to Jack. “Straight.”
I took a deep drag, finishing the smoke, and then tossed i
t into an old metal coffee can. I leaned back against the old metal chair and it protested with a whine. The table and chairs looked fifty years old and like they belonged in a diner. There were stacks of car magazines under the legs of the table to keep it level.
Jack squinted his eyes. His fingertips were stained yellow, matching the hair on his face right around his mouth. He smoked at least five packs a day. Yet the son of a bitch was a beacon of health. Whiskey, cigarettes, and women. For Jack, all of his women were paid for. God bless that he had a successful auto shop in Daystron, and that his old man left him some land that was worth a couple million dollars.
“Fuck yourself, kid,” Jack said. “Three of a kind.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I said. “Straight beats a three of a kind, Jack.”
“Huh?”
“You heard me. You know that.”
“Fuck yourself,” he said.
“I’m playing by the rules. Now give me my paycheck.”
Jack started to laugh.
I had been working for him since I got stiffed with the honor of dealing with the old man’s house. Caine took off because his hockey team had a chance at the playoffs and they needed him to knock some skulls around. For Roman, he refused to be away from his girl for more than ten minutes because she was pregnant and he was in full protection mode.
I was supposed to bolt last week, but I liked hanging with Jack. I worked on cars and motorcycles all day long, got paid in cash, and then cruised out of town to an apartment that was comfortable. I snuck around so nobody really saw me and that kept everyone happy. When the Knight brothers weren’t in town, the town was better off. And now with the old man dead, there was no reason for the Knight family to ever exist again.
“Hold your wad,” Jack said in a throaty voice. “Three of a kind beats a straight.”
“No it doesn’t.”
“In my house it does,” Jack said. He reached to the middle of the table and took all the money. It was only twenty bucks, but still...
I shook my head.
Jack reached into his pocket and brought out an envelope. “Here you go, kid.”
“I just paid to get my paycheck,” I said.
“Yeah, you did.”
“You’re a fucking piece of work, Jack.” I stood up. “But I appreciate everything you’ve ever done. You bailed my ass out a few times when I was kid.”
I looked in the envelope. It was a lot of money. I knew Jack was overpaying me. Maybe it was his silent way of giving me a shot to save up and leave. I’m sure in the back of his mind he knew why I was still lingering around.
Fuck, it was a terrible reason to linger around. But if there was ever a chance to just have a run in with her...
“You know, if you go far enough back, I’ve got some really old shit that you could tinker with, kid.”
“Oh yeah?” I asked. “Is that your subtle way of saying you want me to stick around tonight? You getting lonely in your old age?”
“No,” Jack said. “If I get lonely I call for assistance.”
“What do you do? Pretend to fall and can’t get back up?”
“Hey, kid, I always get up,” Jack said.
“Christ,” I said. “Thanks for this.” I waved the envelope. “I don’t know how you pay, but I like it.”
“Shit, Slade,” Jack said. It was a rarity for him to use my name. He pushed himself up. “That motorcycle you worked on last week. You got it all tuned up, right? I talked to a friend in Reno who had me send him a picture. Sold the damn thing for ten thousand. Cash.”
“Wow,” I said. “Good for you.”
Jack walked around the table. We were in the corner of the garage. It had the lingering smell of grease, smoke, and must. It was all I ever knew. My version of a messy heaven.
Jack grabbed my shoulder. He was long and boney but the damn guy had strength. “No, it’s good for you, kid. You’re going to go back in the yard and find something else to fix. Whatever you need, make it happen. If I can start cleaning up that junk and selling it, goddamn...”
“Aren’t you already filthy rich?”
“The thing about being rich... you always want more. You get trapped.”
“That’s why I want to trap myself to the road,” I said. “That’s all I’ve known, Jack. I took off a long time ago and never came back. The old man is dead now.”
“God I wish I had one chance to sock him again.”
“Again? You hit my father?”
“Oh, kid, you don’t know the half of it. I saw him pull your mother’s hair one time and I lost it.”
“Seriously? Let’s sit back down. Let’s talk this out for a second.”
“You want to hear this?” Jack asked.
“Fuck yeah I do. You hitting my old man? I need details.”
“Okay. But I need a drink and a smoke.”
Jack poured two glasses of whiskey and brought them to the table. He sat back down and put a smoke between his lips and lit it. He would take a drag and kill off half the cigarette.
Then he exhaled and started to talk, letting the smoke dance from his mouth. “He brought the car in to get checked. The one strut was making a popping noise. I guess your mother hit a pot hole or something. Like she did it on fucking purpose, right? I always knew about your old man. I’d seen it my entire life. There wasn’t much I could do. A man and his family were just that. I regret that sometimes, kid. Maybe that’s why I’m padding that envelope thicker than the work you’re doing.” Jack took another drag. “Your old man wanted to haggle over the price. He wanted me to take apart the goddamn car in front of him and show him what was wrong. He was afraid I was going to screw him. I wouldn’t do that. Not to your family. Hell, you were in the backseat. In the middle, the youngest, a little hellion staring back at me with those eyes of yours, kid. Shit. I knew then you were going to be a fucking nightmare.”
I laughed. I raised my glass and nodded. “Thanks.”
“So I told your old man I’d take care of things. Not to worry. I’d work out a price that would make everyone happy. He didn’t see that I was off to the side, looking for a part. I heard him go after your mother. Called her a cunt. I heard a smack and I ran. He had her by the throat and was ready to hit her again. I grabbed your old man by the arm and pulled him away. He looked at me and told me to mind my own fucking business. So I wound up and socked him right in the face.” Jack made a fist and showed me. “He went down and when your mother tried to help him up, he swung his arms like a baby. He then got up and walked away.”
“Christ,” I said. “I think I remember that night, Jack. He went after all of us that night. He was drunk and saying that no man was going to raise his family.”
“Ah, shit,” Jack said. He grabbed his glass of whiskey and stood up. He finished it off and threw the glass to the floor, letting it shatter. “I fucking knew it.”
“Hey, it’s okay.”
“It’s not!” Jack yelled. “I told your mother that, too. I gave her some money and told her to take you guys to get ice cream. I put the car up on the jack and fixed it. When she came back I told her not to worry about the cost. To tell your father that it was nothing big and I wasn’t going to gouge him. I thought it would calm him down a little. I then told your mother she needed to get out. That I could help.”
Now I rose up. “Jesus Christ, Jack. You had a thing for Ma?”
“I don’t know. She was in need. I couldn’t help her. I’m sorry, kid.”
Jack made a growling sound and his bottom lip jutted out, quivering.
I walked to him and grabbed his shoulder. “Hey. You can’t hurt yourself over it. You did what you could for me. I appreciate that. You saw my love for shit with wheels and embraced it. You did more for me, Jack, than my old man ever did.”
“Dammit, kid, you’d come in with bruises and I did nothing.”
“You didn’t have to. It all connects somehow.”
“Now you sound like a fucking hippie.”
I smiled. “I
love the open road, Jack. That’s why I never settle.”
“You’re settling here.”
“No I’m not. I’m getting through this.”
Before Jack could say anything else, the bell to the shop dinged.
“Someone here this late?” I asked.
“Must be some kind of emergency,” Jack said. “Someone else I could try and save.”
Jack walked away, ditching his smoke and lighting up a fresh one.
I looked down to the shards of glass on the ground. I crouched and picked up a piece. I nodded.
This was how it all felt... shattered.
(OLIVIA)
Mom cried. Owen smiled. I was completely stuck. I was so screwed. So damn screwed. Of course I had my chance right then and there to just confess it was all a dumb lie. I had them together, Mom and Owen, and I had the chance to explain how I felt about Walker. But then Mom dropped her coffee mug and it broke. Coffee splashed on her bare foot and she started to get upset.
Owen rushed to her aid and patched her up.
She looked worried, saying that sometimes that happened. She would just lose control of her hands. She’d be holding something and then her hand would just open, letting the object go.
She offered to make dinner but Owen got an assistance call for an accident and I just wanted to go home. I wanted to hide in my bedroom for as long as I needed to hide.
At the front door, Mom took my hands. “My Liv girl,” she said. “I can’t believe this.”
“Then don’t,” I said with a half-smile. “Don’t believe it at all.”
“Why wouldn’t I believe it?” Mom asked.
Here’s your chance. It’s just you and her, Olivia.
“It’s... Walker isn’t...”
“Oh, Liv,” Mom cut me off. “I know your brother meant well with you and Walker together. I get it. Walker is handsome and successful. I’m sure he takes good care of you. If it’s not forever, Liv, that’s okay too. I wish I had more to say. I wish I was more available to you and your brother.”
Mom’s eyes filled with tears.
I shook my head. “No, Mom. Please. Don’t...”