Becoming Bella

by Sarah Hegger

  “Yeah.” Looking at Daniel was weird. Like seeing two people cohabit the same body. His cynical side clung to his old image of Daniel, but the new Daniel kept busting through regardless. “What are you going to do with your degree?”

  “Work with at-risk teens.” The passion in Daniel’s voice was straight-up truth and no bullshit. “Try to make sure kids don’t pull the same dumb shit we did.” Elbows on knees, he leaned forward. “I don’t know if it would have made any difference, but when I was inside, I kept wondering if I’d had someone to talk to. Someone who’d been there, walked that road, and come to a dead end, maybe I would have made different choices.”

  “Do you think we would have listened?” And it was a we, because regardless of where they’d ended up, he and Daniel had started at the same point.

  Daniel laughed. “I don’t know. We were pretty stubborn little shits.”

  “That we were.” Here they sat, two kids who’d made the mistakes and paid for them. Daniel more so than him, but only because Nate had wised up a bit sooner. But then, he’d had Matt who, despite being young, had kept the ship sailing for them. And Eric had picked up some slack for Matt when he could. Nate could never prove it, but he had the feeling Eric had spoken to old Sheriff Wheeler about him. “You make contact with your family?”

  “Nah.” Sadness flashed over Daniel’s face and disappeared again. “I tried, when I first got out, but they only want enough money from me to drink themselves to death.” He shook his head. “Do you ever speak to Blake?” Daniel named the third musketeer in their group.

  “He left town.” Nate shook his head. “Last I heard, he was working in Vegas.”

  “Counting cards?”

  Nate had to laugh. “Maybe, but for the right side this time.”

  They sat through another defensive annihilation.

  Somehow, they’d all made it. God knows how, and they probably didn’t deserve it, but they had. “Here’s to us.” Nate raised his soda can. “And getting our shit together.”

  Daniel raised his can and grinned. “To getting our shit together.”

  * * *

  Jeff ’s baby developed a high fever and Nate got called into the station. Things would be quiet until the Broncos game ended and then there’d be a spate of alcohol-fueled celebration or mourning antics going on.

  “Do you even have a life?” He greeted Gabby, perched at her desk and tapping away at her keyboard.

  “Not like yours.” She smirked. “Player.”

  He should fire her ass or toss her in front of a disciplinary committee or something. But he kind of liked her anyway. “I was with a friend. A male friend.”

  Up went her eyebrows as she raised her hand. “Hey, Boss! I don’t judge.”

  He settled for a glare, because it was probably the closest they’d come to a meaningful exchange in the eighteen months she’d worked there. “What are you doing anyway?”

  “Chasing a little rabbit called Adam Smith,” she said.

  “You find anything more?” Nate peered over her shoulder.

  She tapped a couple of keys. “You could say that. Seems like Adam Smith doesn’t have a record, or much of anything, but Aaron Sykes has been a very busy boy.”

  “Okay, I’ll bite. I’m guessing Aaron and Adam are one and the same.”

  “You got it.” Gabby beamed at him.

  It struck him dumb for a moment. She was goddamned gorgeous when she smiled. “Tell me.”

  “So Adam Smith first makes an appearance about eight years go,” she said. “When I tried to go back farther, nothing.”

  “Fake Social Security?”

  “Nope.” She glanced at him. “You wanna hear this?”

  “Tell me about Aaron.”

  “When Adam came up as a squeaky-clean nothing, I started looking for similarities in MO. Stalkers who appear in a town, the flowers, even ran Bella’s physical description through the database. About nine years ago, an Aaron Sykes is charged with beating the crap out of his wife. According to the police report, it wasn’t the first time Mrs. Sykes had ended up in the emergency room. But this time Aaron took it too far and Mrs. Sykes wanted out.”

  Nate’s nape prickled. This was going nowhere good.

  “Aaron didn’t take so kindly to his wife leaving him. She filed a restraining order against him.” Gabby pulled up a new screen. “It all goes quiet until Mrs. Sykes gets a new boyfriend. Seems she has a thing for bad boys and this time bags herself a scumbag called Tony White, aka Tony the Tiger, aka Terrible Tony, aka Torture Tony.”

  “These are his nicknames?” Nate subtracted originality points from Tony.

  “Tony runs a prostitution ring that doesn’t care too much about the age of his girls.”

  “Shit.” Nate perched on the edge of her desk. Shit like this was what made him not miss his old job. “And this relates to our boy how?”

  “So, Aaron breaks into Tony and Mrs. Sykes’s love cottage one night. He’s there to get himself a helping of revenge but stumbles on a whole lot more than Mrs. Sykes.”

  Nate had heard enough. “So, Aaron shares his findings, DA cuts a deal, and Adam Smith crawls out from his sewer.”

  Her face carefully blank, Gabby shrugged. “That’s the gist of it. But there’s one more thing.”

  “What?” He knew he was going to hate what she said next.

  “Mrs. Sykes turns up in an emergency room again about three months later. Cops would have looked at Tony for it, but he’s locked up tight. Nothing points to our boy at all, and Mrs. Sykes is saying nothing more than yes to Jell-O, but I spoke to the detective who worked the case and his gut told him Aaron Sykes was the perp.”

  “Damn!” He sprang to his feet. Was he fucking psychic or what? Cops and their hunches were worth listening to. Adam Smith had made his gut chatter since that night he’d first seen him cozying up to Bella. Alarm spiked through his veins and congealed into rage and he kicked a dustbin across the office. “I gotta go.”

  Gabby leaned back in her chair. “Thought you might.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  As Nateleft the station for Bella’s, his mom summoned him. He didn’t have time for this today, not when he’d been on his way to see Bella. But if he ignored his mother, she’d keep on at Gabby and his cell until he responded.

  Nate pulled up outside his mother’s ranch-style home and took a moment before he went inside. He’d grown up in this house and it still looked the same as the day his dad died. Mom kept everything like a shrine to their father.

  Not even Matt had been able to make her change the paint color or fix the sagging porch.

  He climbed out of his car. Knowing you were walking into the lion’s den didn’t make it any easier to get your ass in there. Mom had been trying to get him to come around since the party the other night. Best guess was that she needed an ally in her one-woman battle against Pippa. It didn’t matter how many times he refused to take sides or told her the battle was already lost. Mom kept right on fighting.

  The entire thing made his teeth ache. Matt loved Pippa and they were good to each other and for each other. Mom only saw the loss of her influence over Matt. Nate had no doubt anyone who married into the Evans clan would be met with the same reception as Pippa. Pippa just had the misfortune to be the first.

  As he opened the back door, Mom sat at the kitchen table waiting.

  She went through the usual inquiries about his job, the people he worked with, a couple of acquaintances. And then she got down to business.

  “So you’re going to be an uncle.” She tittered as she bustled around making coffee. “Quite the change for you.”

  “I think it’s great.” The sooner he got this over with, the sooner he could go.

  “Isn’t it?” Mom beamed, gave a little sigh, and turned her back. “I was beginning to wonder if I’d ever be a grandparent.”

  “Now you are.” Nate added sugar to his coffee.

  “Of course, it would have been nice to know beforehand.” And her
e it came. “Not to find out with everyone else.”

  “It’s great news, Mom.” He didn’t know why he still bothered. Hoping against hope that reason would one day prevail.

  “Hmm.” Mom took the seat opposite him and sipped her coffee. “I hope Pippa isn’t going to be one of those women who tries to raise a baby and hold down a career.”

  His head throbbed. It was like Mom wanted to hold on to her anger and her heartbreak. She clung to them tenaciously, kept the wound fresh. Damn, and people wondered why he’d never married. This, right here, could drive a man out of his mind.

  Nate missed his dad. He wished like hell Dad was still alive. Dad wouldn’t have wanted any of them to be stuck in some kind of grief loop.

  “Lots of women have children and careers,” he said.

  “And the children suffer.” Mom’s eyes flashed fire. “Nobody thinks about the children.”

  With Matt married, Eric shuttling between here, Denver, and Salt Lake, Isaac still MIA, and Mom and Jo never able to have a reasonable conversation, it left him as Mom’s go-to child.

  He couldn’t do it today or any day. But especially not with the news he’d gotten from Gabby. “Look, Mom, I gotta go.”

  She looked up, her face folded into injured lines. “Do you have plans? I thought you might stay for dinner.”

  It still got to him, that sense that he let her down all the time. Even though she never knew the worst of it because Matt had protected her from it. “I can’t, Ma. I need to go past Bella’s to see that she’s all right.”

  “Bella?” Mom’s eyes narrowed. “What’s wrong with Bella?”

  “Official business. I can’t say.” His job was good for some things. He bent and kissed her on the cheek. He loved his mother, but he couldn’t be her bitching board today. “I’ll call you and maybe we can have dinner during the week.”

  “Okay.”

  She slumped at the kitchen table, a sad, lonely figure. She did it to herself. He knew that, and Eric hammered the point home whenever he was in town. It still didn’t alleviate the guilt. Her thing with Pippa had nothing to do with Pippa, which made it doubly frustrating. If Mom could let go of her resentment long enough, she’d find an ally and friend in Pippa. With the new baby on the way, Pippa would need help.

  He stopped with his hand on the door. “Call Pippa, Mom. Tell her how happy you are and offer to help her.”

  “She doesn’t want my help.”

  “How do you know that?” He dug his fingers into the wood to keep his tone civil. “You never ask. You’re always getting angry at her about one thing or another.”

  Mom jerked her spine straight. “I am not the one who gets angry, Nathaniel.”

  God help him. “I’ll call you.”

  The new information on Adam festered as he drove to Bella’s. The situation had escalated and he needed to get Bella to understand without panicking. It might help if he could keep his own nagging worry down to a simmer. He wanted to tuck her someplace safe until this was over.

  He scanned Bella’s street as he turned into it. No sign of a silver Lexus, and he breathed a small sigh of relief. He counted all the vehicles as he passed them, made sure he knew who they belonged to.

  Maybe Adam aka Aaron had gotten the message and moved on. It happened. Sometimes.

  * * *

  Bella sent a text to Liz before starting her Wii. Not being much of a dancer, she’d never take her moves out in public, but with Just Dance pounding away in her living room, she could let her inner wild woman free. If anyone asked, she always said she did it for exercise, but she really liked letting it all hang out until her muscles burned and her lungs demanded she take a load off.

  She’d hesitated before inviting Liz, but then done it anyway. Liz had no filters, true, but she also didn’t judge people, and Liz certainly had an inner wild woman. And an outer wild woman too.

  First, though, she checked to make sure her doors and windows were all locked. Although she hadn’t had a message from Adam in days, in part courtesy of her new cell-phone number. She really didn’t look forward to explaining all this to her family. The easiest, and most cowardly way, would be to send them an email to explain why she had changed all her coordinates.

  Unfortunately, the picture forming in her mind wasn’t pretty. Nana would have a shit fit and then lecture her about men and bars. In the next breath, she would go on and on about her settling down. How the hell she could find a nice guy at the same church social dating pool she’d fished dry years ago, Nana couldn’t say. A Christmas alone had seemed like such a great break from routine. A chance to do something different. Be someone different.

  She selected her favorite song and hit Play.

  Mom would cry and Dad would exhaust himself trying to appease her, Nana, and Mom, and make everything okay in their world again.

  This was the other reason she liked to let fly with her Just Dance. You couldn’t very well think and follow the dance routines at the same time. With Bella, one definitely messed with the other. So she stopped the thinking, punched up the volume, and found her groove.

  It took her a while to register the pounding on the door. Pausing in midsong, she ran and whipped the door open. “You changed your mind.”

  “Shit, Bella, the music is so loud—” Nate’s hot gaze swept her from head to toe. “What the hell are you wearing?”

  Bella tried to use the door as a shield because finding your groove demanded the right sort of outfit. In her case, booty shorts and a crop top. “I thought you were Liz.”

  “Nope.” He pushed the door wider. His voice dropped deeper. “And you really should check before you answer the door.”

  “I locked it.” The look in his eyes dragged what little breath she had left right out of her.

  “Good.” He stepped into her entrance hall. His gaze made it back to hers, and her mouth dried. She’d seen that look on his face before, just not directed at her. Nate Evans on the prowl.

  She crossed her arms in front of her. They didn’t cover up much, but it made her feel a little less exposed. She shivered.

  Nate shut the door with a soft snick and locked it behind him. “I gotta say, babe. I’m struggling for words here.”

  “I was dancing.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Is there something you wanted?” Damn, shit, bugger! That sounded exactly like a come-on.

  Nate thought so too, because his eyes smoldered. “I actually came here to talk to you.” He shook his head. “But that’s not gonna happen with you prancing around all covered in sweat and nearly naked.”

  “Talk to me about what?”

  His jaw tightened. “Babe.”

  Her belly dropped in a whoosh of heat. Words formed but darted away before she could say them. Some women would have something sexy to say in return, a sassy comeback to bring him to his knees. But she stood there, like he’d planted her in the quicksand of her own longing. “I should get dressed.”

  Really? Really! Dr. Childers threw up her hands and left Bella’s head, slamming the door behind her.

  “Your call.” Nate’s stillness prickled along her skin. “I’m really partial to what you’re almost wearing right now.”

  Nate stepped closer.

  Bella held her ground.

  He traced the line of her shoulder with his fingertips. “I came here to talk.”

  “You did?” Her eyelids grew heavy as she watched his thick, blunt fingertip trail the edge of her top to the curve of her breast.

  “Bella, this shit is getting out of hand.” His fingers moved across the swell of her breasts.

  Bella’s nipples tightened in response.

  His other hand slid behind her nape. “I can’t seem to stop thinking about you.”

  Some garbled response that sounded vaguely like an agreement came out of her mouth.

  “Tell me to get the hell outta here, babe.” His fingers pressed into her nape, urging her closer.

  “I can’t.” The truth of that resonated t
hrough her. She’d wanted this man for far too long. Craved the hunger she read on his face. She stepped into him.

  He sucked in a deep breath. “I want you.”

  Bella slid her hands up and over his shoulders. His coat whispered to the ground. Her heart thundered in her ears. “Stay.”

  “Last chance.” His head dipped.

  Bella fastened her hands in his silky hair and tugged. “Duly noted.”

  On a groan, he fastened his mouth on hers. Sweeping his tongue between her parted lips possessively, his mouth took hers.

  Bella surrendered to the inevitable. She stopped second-guessing, questioning, and tiptoeing through her life. She wanted Nate, and by some miracle, he wanted her. Only a stupid idiot walked away from this much hot in her life. Satisfaction blazed through her as she returned his kiss, pushing her breasts against his hard chest.

  He freed his mouth from hers. “Be sure, Bella.”

  She wasn’t sure of anything right then, other than that she wanted to feel the kind of alive he offered.

  His mouth seared the skin beside her ear. He licked and nibbled along her neck, sparking her nerve endings.

  Against her stomach, his erection pressed hard and insistent.

  Her breathing came in pants. His shirt buttons irritated her, standing between her touch and all that beautiful skin of his. Her fingers fumbled and she tugged impatiently.

  Nate hooked his hands under her thighs.

  She wrapped her arms around his neck and dragged his mouth back to hers.

  “Bedroom?” He managed to growl against her mouth.

  Bella whimpered at the heat of his stomach against hers. “Too far.”

  He moved with her into the living room. Tossing her onto the couch, he ripped his shirt off and came down on top of her. His thighs pressed between hers.

  Bella opened to him, clamping her thighs around his hips. His cock pressed where she ached and Bella tilted her hips up to increase the friction.

  Rearing up, he whipped her top over her head. Then he stilled. Hungry gaze locked on her breasts, he ran his hands, slowly, almost reverently up her rib cage to cup their fullness. “You’re beautiful.”