Witch Switch

by Sibéal Pounder

  Fluffanora had assured Tiga that if the disguise fooled an old, half-blind cat, it would definitely fool Aggie Hoof.

  And it did.

  Tiga stared at Aggie Hoof through Miss Flint’s bottle-thick glasses. She wasn’t sure if it was the glasses, but Aggie Hoof’s face looked like it was painted silver.

  ‘Here you go!’ Aggie Hoof said, handing Tiga the bag. ‘I’ve been busy writing my article for Toad magazine today. I know you hate the Shoeland fashions but would you just wear your shoes on your head, for meee? I let Felicity Bat get away with not doing it because,’ she lowered her voice to a whisper, ‘she’s scary.’

  Tiga grunted.

  ‘But you, Miss Flint, would look wonderful in Shoeland fashions.’

  Tiga flicked her finger and sent the shoes sailing from her feet to her hat, where they perched perfectly. She had been dying to take them off anyway.

  Aggie Hoof squealed and clapped.

  Tiga heard a noise in the corridor.

  ‘Is that old Miss Flint?’ Felicity Bat asked.

  Aggie Hoof nodded. ‘It is!’

  Tiga spun around and pelted off down the road, clutching the bag as tightly as she could.

  She rounded the corner and crashed straight into Fluffanora.

  ‘Did you get it?’ Fluffanora asked eagerly.

  Tiga nodded and gasped for air. Slowly she opened the bag.

  ‘Well, shine my glittery shoes, that is NOT what I expected!’ Fran cried.

  It’s ME! And this time in Toad I have painted myself silver for my very special and evil guests, the Silver Rats!

  For those of you who don’t know them (Shame. On. You), the Silver Rats are the most incredible band to ever magic up music in Sinkville. Their first album, Glitter Grooves, won no awards and made some people angry. And their bestselling track, ‘I Want to Curse Your Loved Ones’, cursed some people’s loved ones!

  There are three of them (I think they need a fourth member and should include me but Big Ratty, the one who does all the singing, said no). So there is Big Ratty, who does all the singing and makes bad choices for her band. Then there is Tails, who is on the decks, and Jam Jar, who plays an invisible violin thing.

  They won’t let magazines write their real names, which is weird because I think Lydia Claw, Gemma Grey and Annie Legs are perfectly cool names. Apparently, Lydia Claw, Gemma Grey and Annie Legs get really annoyed if they read an article that has their real names in it, so I’d better make sure not to write them here.

  Their new album is called Scuttle 1000 and it is amazing. The first song to be released on the album is ‘Run the Pipes (Witches)’, and here they are now on the sofa at Linden House!

  Aggie Hoof: Hello, Silver Rats. I love you, you are so evil.

  Big Ratty (Lydia Claw): We’ve decided to shed our evil image and it’s all about being strong, good witches now.

  Aggie Hoof: WHAT?!

  Jam Jar (Annie Legs): Strong, good witches.

  Aggie Hoof: ‘WHAAAAT?!’

  Tails (Gemma Grey): Strong, good witches.

  Aggie Hoof: But you have a song on your latest album called ‘EVIL IS THE BEST’.

  Big Ratty (Lydia Claw): That’s actually a really deep song about being strong, good witches.

  Aggie Hoof: GET OUT.

  33

  The Dolls

  ‘Dolls?!’ Fluffanora cried. ‘It’s always dolls! I suppose it’s not that weird, is it? They’re just giving Miss Flint their old dolls.’

  Tiga tipped the dolls out on to the pavement and picked one up. She was small with a puffy skirt and a sad look on her face.

  ‘Yeah, maybe they’re just doing a clear-out of Linden House. There are dolls in there …’ Tiga mumbled. She was getting fed up of this wild doll chase they seemed to be on. They were getting absolutely nowhere.

  Fluffanora shook her head and plucked the doll out of Tiga’s hand. She inspected its skirt and gasped.

  ‘What is it?’ Tiga and Fran cried at the same time.

  Fluffanora shook her head. ‘It can’t be … but it must be. It’s so obvious what they’re doing now!’

  Tiga stared at her, unconvinced. ‘Really?’

  ‘Look at the label on this skirt – it says Brew’s,’ Fluffanora said pointedly.

  ‘So,’ said Tiga with a shrug.

  Fluffanora stared at the doll in amazement. ‘Mum doesn’t make skirts for dolls.’

  34

  The Peggy Doll

  Aggie Hoof was plonked on the sofa in the study with some frilly pants on her head. Felicity Bat was pacing back and forth, muttering to herself.

  In her hand was a file of papers.

  ‘What are you doing?’ Aggie Hoof asked.

  ‘These might just be the only papers in Sinkville that say who Tiga really is.’

  ‘WOW, cool, that’s, wait – WHAT ARE YOU DOING?’ Aggie Hoof squealed, as Felicity Bat flicked her finger and set them on fire.

  They fizzled in a little charcoaled pile on the floor and then vanished.

  ‘Now I am the only one who can tell her who she is. I will have complete control over her,’ she said with a cackle.

  Aggie Hoof cackled too and pulled a doll out from under the sofa cushions. It had wildly frizzy hair and big glasses.

  ‘Poor little Piggy trapped in a doll,’ she said.

  35

  Bye, Desperate Dolls

  Tiga and Fluffanora stood outside Desperate Dolls. Fran hovered between them, her fists raised in the air.

  Miss Flint hadn’t opened the shop – presumably because her dress was still missing and she was very superstitious about the whole thing. She probably wasn’t planning to open up the shop until she could figure out how to get it back.

  Tiga scanned the dolls in the window and shook her head. ‘Do you think they are all shrunken witches?’

  Fluffanora shrugged. ‘They can’t all be witches. But I bet a lot of them are.’

  ‘How do we turn them back into normal-sized witches?’ Tiga asked.

  ‘It’s probably one of those weird spells – the curse kind. You know, the ones from the olden days.’

  ‘Like the girl who falls asleep and a prince has to kiss her to wake her up?’

  ‘Yes,’ said Fluffanora, ‘Ridiculous ones like that.’

  ‘Well, in that case, we might have to kiss all the dolls …’ Fran said.

  Fluffanora wasn’t paying attention, her eyes were fixed on the dolls in the window. She stepped forward, flicked her finger and the window shattered.

  ‘FLUFFANORA!’ Tiga cried. ‘No need to break the window!’

  Fluffanora flicked her finger again and sent the roof of the shop soaring off.

  ‘Now you’re just showing off,’ Tiga said as the four sides of the building fell over, flopping on to the pavement like limp leaves.

  The three of them stood staring at the shelves full of dolls. Tiga ran up to one of the dolls, picked it up and kissed it.

  Nothing happened.

  Nothing happened when she kissed the other 9,872 dolls either.

  ‘Stop kissing the dolls! It’s not working!’ Fluffanora eventually shouted at Tiga and Fran, who had also been jumping on the dolls to see if that worked. ‘It’s not working!’

  ‘Well, what have you been doing this whole time?’ Fran asked, an eyebrow raised.

  ‘Nothing,’ said Fluffanora, holding a doll with elaborately braided hair behind her back.

  ‘Why are you kissing dolls?’ someone said.

  Tiga spun around. Standing next to one of the shelves was Lizzie Beast!

  ‘Lizzie! We think we’ve figured it out. Felicity Bat and Aggie Hoof have been turning witches into dolls! We think some of these dolls are witches.’

  Lizzie Beast held a doll in the air and stared at it for a moment. ‘Hello?’ she whispered.

  ‘We’ve been trying to figure out how to turn them back,’ Fluffanora explained.

  Lizzie Beast shook the doll. ‘STOP BEING A DOLL!’ she shouted.

&
nbsp; Nothing happened.

  ‘I think this is Darcy Dream, the editor of Toad magazine!’ Fran cried as she prodded a very fashionable-looking doll.

  ‘Really?’ asked Tiga, picking up the doll and putting her in her skirt pocket. ‘In that case, let’s take her with us. Maybe she can help us stop Aggie Hoof.’

  Fluffanora clapped her hands. ‘Right, and let’s find Eddy Egg– I mean Peggy. Let’s find Peggy so we can restore order in Ritzy City and stop Felicity Bat, and then we can figure out how to turn them back.’

  Tiga hadn’t mentioned it, but not a single doll in Desperate Dolls looked like Peggy. She didn’t want to say it out loud because that would only make it real.

  ‘I don’t think she’s here,’ Fran said, as she stole a hat from one of the dolls and plonked it on her beehive of hair.

  Tiga bent down and picked up a bald doll.

  ‘That’s not a witch that’s been turned into a doll!’ Fran said. ‘I am p-o-s-i-t-ive.’

  ‘Fran!’ Tiga said as she threw the bald doll back into the pile.

  She spotted a doll wearing a little apron with a very tiny Clutterbucks logo on it. She thought that had to be the missing cake-baker Mrs Clutterbuck had mentioned. But there wasn’t a single doll that looked like Peggy.

  ‘Felicity Bat might be keeping Peggy somewhere safe, so no one can find her,’ Lizzie Beast suggested.

  Lizzie Beast had a point. Peggy was the well known Ruler of Sinkville – a doll that looked like her might arouse suspicion. They couldn’t just give her to Miss Flint to put on the shelves at Desperate Dolls. But where would they keep her?

  ‘We need to figure out a way to get back into Linden House,’ said Tiga, ‘and NO! Fluffanora, before you suggest it, we are not going as designers from Shoeland again.’

  Fluffanora stomped her foot. ‘But it’s so fun!’

  ‘What if you were filming a TV show of some sort?’ Lizzie Beast said. ‘We could use my mum’s camera.’

  Lizzie Beast’s mum was an infamous camera operator in Brollywood, infamous because she had once sat on a fairy and squashed her.

  Fran clutched her heart and fell to the ground. ‘Not the Fairy Flattener,’ she said.

  Tiga ignored her. ‘An excellent idea, Lizzie Beast! Let’s do that.’

  ‘I should direct! I know the most about show business!’ Fran screeched.

  ‘You can’t be in it, Fran. They’ll recognise you, even if you’re in disguise. You’ll have to hide in my hat,’ Tiga said.

  Fran crossed her arms and a big clump of glittery dust fell from her skirt and hit the ground.

  Fluffanora jumped up and down, ‘We can say it’s a TV programme about the new Shoeland fashions in Sinkville!’

  Tiga sighed. Even though she knew it was genius.

  36

  The ‘TV Show’

  ‘Today we stand in front of Linden House, the most important building in all of Sinkville, a place that has embraced the daring and downright gorgeous fashions of Shoeland.’

  Fluffanora was in her element. She was holding a microphone with BROLLYWOOD NEWS stamped on the front. Lizzie Beast had whipped up lots of spotlights, which were moving around above Fluffanora’s head.

  They were all in disguise. Fluffanora was wearing a tiny hat with her hair curled up inside it. She had added a beaded fringe to the rim so you could barely make out her face. Tiga was wearing a floppy hat (Fran was hiding inside it, in a huff because she wasn’t allowed to take part) and Lizzie Beast had big goggles on, plus the camera in front of her face.

  Witches began to flock and crowd around them. Some started taking pictures. Some were even showing off by doing the New Picture Spell rather than using a camera.

  (All you had to do for the New Picture Spell was hold a finger in the air and line it up with whatever you wanted to take a picture of, and then say:

  Snap it once and snap it well! That is all there is to this spell. So, yeah … just take a photo of the thing, please.

  That would be followed by a big flash and then the photo would come out of your mouth.)

  Tiga preferred using an actual camera.

  ‘People say that the reason for these excellent fashions picking up pace in Sinkville can be credited to one witch, and one witch only,’ Fluffanora continued.

  Tiga saw the living-room curtain twitch.

  ‘Psst, tell her to say it with more panache,’ Tiga heard Fran whisper from under her hat.

  ‘She, the witch in question, lives inside this house with her best friend, Felicity Bat, the ruler of Sinkville. She has also taken on the demanding job of editor of Toad magazine, after the publication’s actual editor went missing,’ Fluffanora stopped.

  Tiga motioned at her to keep going.

  ‘Some say she isn’t really responsible for the new Shoeland fashions –’

  ‘I AM RESPONSIBLE!’ Aggie Hoof roared as the door flew open. She had shoes on her ears, again.

  The crowd cheered. Aggie Hoof did a little spin.

  ‘Oh, hello, Aggie Hoof. We are making a TV show for Brollywood News about … well, it’s about how brilliant you are. Can we come in?’ Fluffanora asked.

  Aggie Hoof nodded madly, ‘Uh, obviously.’

  Once they were inside they had to endure two hours of filming Aggie Hoof talking about how excellent she was.

  ‘I’m actually working on a book,’ she boasted. ‘It’s called Horrible Shoes, Horrible People. Do you know what it’s about?’

  Fluffanora sighed and shook her head. ‘Please enlighten us.’

  ‘It’s about how you can tell exactly what someone is like from their shoes.’

  ‘Some people might think that’s a bit superficial of you,’ Fluffanora couldn’t resist saying. Tiga kicked her foot. ‘But, well, they would be … wrong,’ she said through gritted teeth.

  ‘You know,’ said Aggie Hoof. ‘I’m also thinking of designing my own clothes. Mrs Brew isn’t very good in my opinion, and her daughter Fluffanora doesn’t know anything about fashion. She could have been friends with me but instead she chose to be friends with the disgustingly tattered Peggy Pigwiggle and this weird-looking girl from above the pipes. Who was wearing jeans.’

  Fluffanora slowly began rolling up her sleeves. Tiga looked on anxiously.

  ‘You know,’ said Fluffanora fiercely, ‘maybe the Brew girl doesn’t care what her friends are wearing. Maybe that’s not the best way to pick friends.’

  ‘Oh no, it’s the only way,’ Aggie Hoof said.

  Tiga shot Fluffanora a look. She was worried Fluffanora had completely forgotten why they were there. And why they were there was to find Peggy and save her, not pick a fight with Aggie Hoof.

  Fluffanora stood up. ‘Well, excellent, you lovely, lovely, lo-v-e-l-y witch,’ she forced herself to say. ‘May we just wander around and take a few shots of the inside of the building?’

  ‘Sure,’ said Aggie Hoof. She stood up and that’s when Tiga saw her, half hidden under the cushions on the sofa where Aggie Hoof had been sitting.

  Tiga tried to catch Fluffanora’s eye. ‘It’s there,’ she tried to say out of the corner of her mouth. Lizzie Beast spotted what she was pointing at.

  ‘Will you please be in the shots too, Ms Hoof? They won’t be the same without you,’ Lizzie Beast said urgently from behind the camera.

  ‘Of course,’ Aggie Hoof said as she trotted out into the hallway.

  As soon as they were gone, Tiga grabbed the doll. It was definitely Peggy.

  ‘Peggy?’ she whispered.

  She was positive the doll’s eyes moved. If only there was a spell to make her talk. She was sure there probably was one, but she was still learning about spells and had never seen … wait. THE FROG SPELL FLUFFANORA DID IN THE CAULDRON BOAT!

  Tiga gently placed the Peggy doll down, pointed her finger and said quickly,

  Scream and sing and sometimes squeak,

  I give you, quiet thing, the power to SPEAK.

  She lowered her finger. Maybe it only worked on
fro–

  ‘Please tell me that TV show isn’t real,’ the Peggy doll squeaked.

  ‘PEGGY!’ Tiga cried.

  Fran shot out from under Tiga’s hat. ‘It would have been a much better TV show if I had been in it.’

  37

  The Lesson

  ‘They put a doll on my doorstep,’ Peggy explained, although very slowly and very squeakily, as she was still a doll. ‘I was going to speak to Miss Flint about it. I had no idea who had put it there. Of course, now I know it was them, and Miss Flint was in on it. All I did was touch the doll and then I was sucked into it.’

  Tiga cuddled the tiny Peggy doll and placed her on the table. ‘There must be a way to turn you back …’ Tiga mumbled.

  Peggy sort of smiled. ‘I knew you guys would find me. The Shoeland thing was hilarious, that kept me going, watching Aggie Hoof prance around the place with tights on her head and shoes on her ears.’

  Tiga laughed, just as Aggie Hoof raced into the room and grabbed the Peggy doll.

  Fran dived under Tiga’s hat.

  ‘This is mine,’ she snapped. ‘MINE.’

  Felicity Bat glided into the room. ‘What’s going on here?’ she said, moving closer and closer to Fluffanora. Fluffanora took a step back.

  ‘Oh, you thought you could fool me, did you?’ Felicity Bat growled.

  ‘These Brollywood News reporters aren’t trying to fool anyone, Fel-Fel,’ Aggie Hoof said.

  Felicity Bat pulled the hat off Tiga’s head and threw it across the room. Fran went flying, smacked against the wall and glittery dust exploded everywhere.

  Aggie Hoof gasped. ‘How dare you!’

  ‘You are both in terrible trouble,’ said a small voice.

  It was the Peggy doll.

  ‘Oh well done, you did a spell to make her speak,’ Felicity Bat said with an amused cackle. ‘But you’ll never figure out how to turn her back.’

  Tiga snatched the Peggy doll back and held her high above her head as Aggie Hoof jumped up and down trying to grab it.