We Fight, We Fall

by Nicole Callesto

  “Oh no, Aiden. What you said was exactly what I wanted to hear from you. I feel the same way, and I’m so glad you were the first to say it. If you haven’t noticed, talking about my feelings comes in at a close second in my list of least favorite things to do; my first is having a root canal,” I say laughing. He looks over at me, his features relaxed now.

  We start driving towards the bar, and I finally decide that I have to tell Aiden that I’m in love him. Not right this second, but maybe later on tonight. Or tomorrow? Oh, just tell him tonight chicken-shit, and get it out of the way. It will be a giant weight off of your chest.

  We finally pull up to Leo’s, and I blurt out, “I want to talk to you. Um, later tonight that is. After work.” Real fucking smooth, Emma. Talking in complete sentences is a real hardship for you, huh? He looks over at me worried.

  “No, it’s nothing bad, I swear! It’s good. Really fucking good, actually,” I say trying to reassure him. He smiles back at me, taking my hand in his.

  “Ok, baby. I can’t wait,” he says kissing my hand. “Now, off to work. I’ll be here when you get off, and we can talk about whatever you want.”

  “Ok, Aiden. I’ll miss you. So much,” I say honestly.

  “I’ll miss you even more, Emma. When we get home later, I want to hold you in my arms for the entire night. I need to feel you close to me,” he says. Oh, Aiden. I really don’t deserve you.

  “Bye, sweet lips,” I say to him getting out of the truck. I hear him laughing and saying, “Sweet lips?” under his breath.

  I wave to him as he starts to pull away from the bar. I walk inside and notice how crowded it is up in this joint. I groan in aggravation. Ugh, I just wanted to have a lazy night. Not one packed with needy-as-fuck bar dwellers.

  I see Lucas at the bar and wave to him as I make my way to the kitchen to clock in. Please leave me alone, please leave me alone!

  “Em!” I hear him yell, catching up to me. Shit!

  “Hey, buddy. How goes it?” I say casually.

  “I’m good. Now that you’re here of course,” he says smirking at me. Ugh! I was hoping for a more subtle Lucas tonight, but no such luck.

  “Ha, yeah well, I have to clock in, so I’ll see you at the bar in a sec,” I say trying to brush his comment under the rug.

  I rush to the back without acknowledging him again. Maybe Aiden’s right. Maybe I should quit working here. This whole Lucas infatuation is getting a little out of hand.

  I clock in and go back over to the bar. I see Lucas and Leslie fighting over something, as usual. I smile at them. Damn, you could cut that sexual tension with a knife! I doubt Lucas even notices though. He’s obviously only into women like me, who are already spoken for. I go up to them and say hi to Leslie. I hope she still doesn’t hate me for the other day.

  “Hey, girl,” she says, avoiding eye contact with me. Shit, now I feel really guilty. She obviously thinks that I have a thing for Lucas, while in a relationship Aiden. Maybe I should have some girl talk with her soon and set the record straight.

  “We should totally hang out soon. You know, like a girl’s day or something,” I say smiling at her. She looks shocked by my invitation.

  “Yeah, sure. Maybe on my day off,” she says non-committedly. Yeah, it’s going to be harder than I thought to befriend her. I nod at her and she walks away, leaving me behind with Lucas. Just great!

  “Hey, what about me? Can’t we hang out too?!” he says, pretending to be offended. I jokingly slap him on the arm.

  “Well, let me ask Aiden what his schedule is like, and all three of us can hang out soon,” I say smirking. He side bumps me due to my smart mouth.

  “Real funny,” he says laughing. “Although I’m pretty sure Aiden wouldn’t like what I’d have planned for us,” he says winking at me. Ugh, that dirty bastard! I shake my head, trying to conceal a smile. The guy has genuine spunk, I’ll give him that.

  I start serving drinks to customers at the bar, chatting with a few of my regulars. As much as I hate the whole Lucas dilemma, I really would miss my job. It’s definitely not a permanent career, but I enjoy what I do. I won’t lie, the tips don’t hurt either.

  A few hours into the night, I take over Leslie’s tables. I serve a few and notice some commotion at the entrance of the bar. I can’t see what’s going on, but it seems like people are talking and greeting someone. I just shrug and check on my tables.

  I see two people sit down in one of my booths, their backs facing me. One is male and the other female. The guy’s back resembles Aiden’s, but I know that it can’t be him. Ha, when I get off of work I should tell Aiden that I saw his ‘back twin’.

  I walk over to them to take their orders, and I get a foreboding feeling. I shake it off and as I get over to them, I freeze. Shit!

  It really is Aiden. He’s sitting next to a young blonde woman who looks vaguely familiar to me. I try to not make a fool of myself and act like a jealous girlfriend, but I want to know what the fuck is going on! Instead of making a scene, I compose myself and plaster a big fucking smile on my face.

  “Hi, I’m Emma. What can I get you guys to drink?” I say to them, trying not to act unusual or make eye contact with Aiden.

  “Sweetie, I don’t know what I want. Can you order for me,” the woman says in a whiny voice, looking directly at Aiden. Sweetie? Who the fuck does this woman think she is?! And why is he letting her talk to him like this? I finally look over at Aiden and notice his unnerving expression. He looks furious, and his hands are clenched on the table. He looks towards me briefly before looking at the woman.

  “Just get whatever the fuck you want,” he bites off. I flinch at the anger in his voice. Am I in the twilight zone? Why isn’t Aiden telling me what’s going on and acknowledging me?

  “There’s no reason to be snippy, Aiden,” she says smiling at him. “I’ll guess I’ll just get a margarita. But don’t skimp on the alcohol. I’ll make you bring me back another one if you do,” she says nastily to me. Wow, what was I saying earlier about loving my job? I can’t remember. All I know is that I want to drag this bitch out of the booth by her hair. My jaw clenches and just as I’m about to act on that thought, Aiden interrupts me.

  “That’s all for us,” he says angrily. Is he pissed at me? What the fuck did I do? In a trance, I nod at him and smile, walking away to retrieve their orders. I get to the bar, trying not make eye contact with either of them.

  “What the fuck is she doing here?!” I hear Lucas say, looking over at Aiden’s booth.

  “You know her?” I ask, still reeling from the earlier meet and greet.

  “Of course I know her, Em. That’s Jessica, Aiden’s ex-wife,” he says puzzled. “You mean he didn’t tell you she was back in town?” he asks, obviously angry on my behalf. So that’s why I recognized her! I saw her pictures online when I was snooping around. She looks a little rough around the edges compared to older pictures, but she’s still really pretty. Fucking bitch!

  “Um, fuck no! They just came in and plopped their asses down at my table. Aiden acted like he didn’t even know me, and she called him ‘sweetie’” I say with anger.

  “Well, I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but whatever it is, it’s bad. Why is he even talking to her after what she did? He’s with you now anyways!” he says.

  “Yeah, well, we’re not together anymore as of right this goddam second! He obviously wants nothing to do with me now that she’s here. As much as I want to know what’s going on, I won’t beg Aiden for an explanation. She’s his ex, and he probably wants to get back with her for some unknown reason. I’m just the gullible dumbass who fell for his lies. Not anymore though. The only person that’s allowed to make a fool out of me is me! And that’s not fucking happening tonight,” I say, grinding my teeth together. As much as I want to go in the back and cry my eyes out, I won’t. My adrenaline is pumping faster than ever.

  “Em, I can take over your table for you. Just go and take a break, and I’ll find out what’s up,”
he says touching my arm. Instead of brushing him off, I just smile at him. I’m not Aiden’s anymore, so I don’t feel the slightest bit guilty that Lucas is touching me.

  “I’ll be fine, Lucas. I’m a big girl, and I think I handle serving them without making a scene,” I say, surprising him with a quick kiss on the cheek. His anger quickly dissipates, leaving a smirk on his face. Yeah, I think he realizes now that our relationship can be more than just friendship now. No way in hell am I giving Aiden the time of day anymore.

  I grab their drinks and take a deep breath, making my way back over to the table. I hear them talking in harsh tones, but as soon as I place their drinks down, all chatter ceases.

  “Ok, here is the margarita with extra alcohol and a coke,” I say sweetly. “What would you guys like to eat? We have some really good appetizers to start.”

  “Oh, I couldn’t; all those empty calories. Although, I know some people that could use them,” Jessica says, looking me up and down. Um, just doing my job by offering you food, you snarky bitch! Nice little jab about my body. I wasn’t fucking aware that I’m a little on the skinny side. Thanks for the memo.

  “We’re actually just here for drinks; to celebrate,” she says smugly. I smile back at her, avoiding Aiden’s piercing gaze.

  “Oh, yeah?” I say, trying to sound polite.

  “My husband and I are reconciling,” she says sweetly. Okay bitch, enough is enough. The claws are sharpened and looking for something to sink into. Flesh maybe?

  “Wouldn’t that make him you’re ex-husband? You kind of have to be divorced to reconcile, honey,” I say condescendingly.

  “Oh, no. We’ve never divorced. We’ve been married for three long years. Isn’t that right, Aiden sweetie?” she says turning towards him. His expression looks like a deer caught in the headlights of a big rig. His jaw clenches, and his eyes narrow into slits, drilling holes into Jessica. Before I think he won’t respond to her comment, he once again shocks the hell out of me.

  “Jessica’s my wife,” he says, looking directly at me.

  Holy. Fucking. Shit.

  Epilogue

  I managed to earn the title of biggest fuck-up that ever lived. Somehow, I willingly went into Leo’s with my estranged bitch of a wife and sat down in Emma’s section. How the fuck did she even know about Emma? It’s like she purposely took me into the bar to taunt her with our joke of a marriage. I should have never opened my front door to that incessant knocking earlier. But in all fairness, I would’ve never guessed that Jessica would be on the other side of its wooden panels.

  Why the fuck didn’t I divorce her years ago?! You want to know why, dumbass? Because you stopped giving a shit about everyone and everything. Your wedding vows created a barrier between you and all women; every goddamn woman until she came along and destroyed all of your walls and disillusions. If I had known that Emma would walk into my life, I would’ve done anything in my power to keep her there. But no, I’m still tied to Jessica; legally that is but enough to destroy everthing. I’m bound to the woman who used me and got whatever she wanted.

  But the times have changed. She has something that I want now. Something that will tear the woman I love apart. I’ll do what Jessica asks of me, but I won’t stop fighting. I’ll fucking never stop fighting! Emma is mine, and nothing will stop me from getting her back. I know she hates me with every fiber of her being right now, and I don’t blame her; I fucking hate me too. I’ll have to play dirty. I have no other choice. It’s just a matter of time until she’s back in my arms again. And when she is, that is where she’ll stay. I’ll never let her go. Not ever.

  To be continued…

  We Fight, We Fall Playlist

  *Aiden’s Song (Guitar) by Alt-J

  *Emma’s Song (Never Let This Go: Instrumental) by Joana Reves-Paramore cover

  Young Girls (Demo) by Bruno Mars

  I Can’t Take It by Tegan and Sara

  My Number by Foals

  Demons by Imagine Dragons

  Decoy by Paramore

  Colorblind by Natalie Walker- Counting Crows cover

  Chinatown by Kitten

  Sweater Weather by The Neighbourhood

  Giving Me a Chance by Gotye

  Holocene by Bon Iver

  The Bad in Each Other by Feist

  Red Sam (Acoustic) by Flyleaf

  Last Hope by Paramore

  Islands by The XX

  Personal by Stars

  Sex by The 1975

  From Nowhere by Dan Croll

  New Low by Middle Class Rut

  Holland Road by Mumford and Sons

  About the Author

  Nicole Callesto is the self-published author of the debut novel, We Fight, We Fall (Book 1 of the Fight and Fall Trilogy).

  After brief stints as a musician, barista and serial job hopper, she decided to try her hand at writing for the New Adult genre. Her love of music, piercings, and tattoos help to create the atmosphere for her characters, who she labels as, “moody misfits with daddy issues.”

  When she’s not thrift-store hunting and concocting the perfect cup of iced coffee, she’s glued to her Kindle until the wee hours of the night.

  She resides in El Mirage, AZ with her boyfriend, Mom, four dogs and one exceedingly needy cat.

  You can visit her at https://www.facebook.com/Nicolecallesto