Wonder (Insanity Book 5)

by Cameron Jace

  It didn’t seem to change anything. If they were set free now, they were going to eat him alive.

  “Tom is right,” Fabiola broke in. “He was instructed by Lewis Carroll to make an army out of you. You do know who Lewis is, right?”

  “The madman!” all the Mushroomers said in one breath.

  It was then when Tom realized the Mushroomers had lost it. He wasn’t that surprised, though. Locking a sane man in a room for too long and expecting him to come out as sane as he was before was a big joke. The shock therapy, the lonely nights, and all the things they went through. Who wouldn’t lose their mind?

  “What’s going on, Tom?” Fabiola said.

  “I think we’re too late,” he said. “I don’t think they will be useful.”

  “Another dead end.” Fabiola puffed.

  “It’s the truth,” Tom said. “First of all, I don’t think they will kill Alice if you let them out. I think they like her a lot. They will kill us instead.”

  “Are you saying Lewis’ plan didn’t work?”

  “He was a good man, but we have to admit he was as bonkers as the rest of us.”

  “Then you’re as bonkers for following his instructions.”

  “A friend of mind once said, ‘We’re all mad here.’”

  “Shut up, Turtle!” Fabiola was losing it. Tom thought she’d better go back to being a nun. It helped her calm down. “What am I going to do now? Who is going to kill Alice if she comes back?”

  “My question is why don’t you do it yourself?” Tom proposed. “I see you’re ready to kill for your cause.”

  The impact of Tom’s words twitched every pore of Fabiola’s face. He thought he even saw her hand tremble. The White Queen seemed to have developed a certain affection for Alice. That’s what this really was about. Fabiola’s weakness was now her affection for a Bad Alice.

  Damn that Pillar, Tom thought. The man is a genius. Why not, when Tom couldn’t yet figure out how the Pillar entered and left his cell with no one ever knowing how?

  Fabiola dropped her sword. “I hate you,” she said.

  “Come again?” Tom said.

  “I hate you for making me love someone so bad.”

  “I’m not sure what you mean,” Tom said. “Are you sure you’re talking to me?”

  “Of course I’m not talking to you. I’m talking to the Pillar, wherever he is.”

  Chapter 77

  THE PAST: BUS STATION, OXFORD

  Jack surprises me, returning within seconds. He is still holding his stomach but stands next to me in the station. “I think I can take the pain,” he says. “I know how much the trip means to you.”

  I don’t give a damn. It’s good that he is back. I grip his hand tighter so I don’t lose him this time. I don’t even thank him.

  “What happened to your professor?” He points at the girls gathering around the Pillar, making sure he is all right.

  “Don’t bother,” I tell Jack, then I turn to the girls. “Hey, you don’t want to miss the bus. Come over here.”

  One of them swears at me, describing how cruel I am. As if I care. The rest of the girls are too naive to comment or get back at me. Frankly, all I see is jealousy. They’re jealous of Jack’s devotion to me. How I managed to make him love me, I can’t remember.

  Across the street, the Queen’s limousine still waits. The Reds are in every corner, watching me. Even Lorina and Edith are standing by the curb. Why hasn’t the bus arrived yet?

  Don’t do it, Alice. The nagging voice arises again. You can change the future for the better. You can still purge your sins.

  I want to kill that stupid girl inside me, but don’t have an idea how. But it doesn’t matter; soon enough the bus will arrive and we’ll get this over with. I’m in control. The Bad Alice is in control.

  No you aren’t, the nagging voice says. You really aren’t.

  The nagging voice is too confident this time. I wonder why. It scares me. Why is my good side so confident I will fail?

  Look at him, it says. Just look at him.

  Look at whom? I tilt my head and stare at Jack. He is still aching, but he’s nothing but a ring on my finger now. I’ll tell him where to go and what to do. Not him, the voice says. But him.

  Who? I look left and right, panicking. Is the Good Alice trying to play games with my mind?

  There is no one here that can change my mind. No one.

  I keep repeating this to myself… until I see him.

  Not Jack, but the boy the Good Alice is pointing at. A boy who is going to change my life. How? I’m not sure.

  I find myself staring at a boy wearing an exquisite black hat. He is standing across the street. He has a confident and rough attitude about him, but that’s not what attracts me. I know him.

  I know him in the strangest ways.

  It’s not even logical that I recognize him. But I do. I can’t forget the voice of the man I’m going to marry in the future. Did you wake up, baby? I remember him saying when I was in the future in the Wonderland Compound.

  I’m staring at the boy I don’t know but will change my life.

  But even so, the Bad Alice in me is still stubborn enough to complete her mission. I am still determined to kill everyone on the bus. Who said I have to marry this boy in the future? Who said he has an influence on me?

  You really don’t get it. The nagging voice is laughing at me now. Wait until he crosses over to the bus station. You’re toast. The Good Alice will win. It’s going to be painful, but I will win.

  The boy does cross the street. And with every closer look at him, I begin to understand how the Good Alice will win.

  Again, in the strangest ways.

  With each step closer, I see the boy in a very different way. I recognize him and relate to him — although I’ve never seen him before — in the most emotional ways.

  It’s in his eyes. It’s in his cheeks. In his walk. It’s in my children I see through him.

  I gasp, noticing Lily has his eyes. Tiger has his pompous and manly walk. Lily has his cheekbones. Tiger has his pursed-lipped smile. I can go on forever.

  Chapter 78

  Unconsciously, I let go of Jack’s hands. It’s illogical. Unexplainable. As mad as love is. The Good Alice surfaces.

  Whether I’m going to marry this boy or really have his children in the future, only one thing matters now. I’m myself again. The self I choose to be, not what Black Chess wants me to be. Jack has to live. So do the girls on the bus.

  “Something wrong, Alice?” Jack asks me.

  I fill my eyes with his gorgeous face. I want to tell him that he is going to live. I want to tell him that I’m okay. Everything is going to be all right.

  But he wouldn’t understand. His love for me is too strong.

  Not only do I know that from my feelings, or the way he came back from dead for me, but from what happens to the Cheshire in the future. Jack’s love for me is so strong it will soften the cat’s heart.

  Which means Jack will never let go of me in the future.

  “Why are you looking at me like that?” Jack’s eyes sparkle.

  I know why. Because I know Jack will never stop loving me. And even if I stop him from getting on the bus today, even if I don’t kill him, he will never be safe around me. Who guarantees I don’t turn into the Bad Alice five minutes from now? And if not, Jack could be easily hurt in the future, whether by the Cheshire or anyone else.

  I know why I’m staring this way at him. Because it’s the last time I will be staring at him so lovingly. The last time he will love me at all.

  Slowly I turn away from Jack, unable to imagine how he is going to feel a minute from now. True, I won’t kill him. But I will do worse. I will make him not love me again.

  Stepping ahead, I wave at my future husband, the pompous boy, and wrap my arms around him.

  The boy welcomes me. Either because he is used to girls doing this to him, or because it’s just fate we can’t change. I pull his head closer to me and k
iss him. The boy kisses me back, and I start to make out with him in the craziest ways.

  I am so blunt about it, it looks like I do this a lot. Hisses saturate the air around us. Girls gasp, others whisper, and Jack… I have no idea what’s happening to him.

  A tear threatens to squeeze out of my eye. But I lock it in. Jack has to believe I mean this. And the boy, well, he is enjoying this a lot.

  Images of Tiger and Lily flash before my eyes. Maybe I am not going to marry the one I love, but the one whose children I will love.

  After the kiss, and the incredible scene I made, I slowly catch Jack’s reaction from the corner of my eye.

  Oh, Jack. I’m so sorry.

  Jack is simply dying in front of my eyes. The damage is done. Mission accomplished. Everyone lives happily ever after, except Jack.

  Chapter 79

  THE PRESENT: THE PILLAR’S LIMOUSINE, OUTSIDE THE INKLINGS, OXFORD

  “She sacrificed her love to save the students on the bus,” said the mousy chauffeur, having just arrived from eavesdropping on Mr. Tick and Mrs. Tock in the Inklings.

  The Pillar, sitting in the back, smiled. He had both hands rested on his cane. His smile was thin, the chauffeur thought. But he understood. The situation was complicated. Alice, evil or good, was doomed.

  “So is that it?” The chauffeur felt uncomfortable about the Pillar’s silence. “She saves the world, fails to find her Wonder, and ends up dead in the past?”

  The Pillar tapped his cane. Said nothing.

  “That’s not fair,” the chauffeur said. “I mean, she really changed the world. Why does she have to die, let alone live in this kind of misery?”

  The Pillar resorted to silence again and again.

  “Shouldn’t we see changes in this future because of the things she changed?” the chauffeur tried one last time.

  The Pillar leaned back, staring out of the window. It had started to rain, and looking outside was like looking at a mirror buried in the mist. “You ever been in love?” the Pillar said.

  The chauffeur shrugged. “Once.”

  “Really?”

  “Of course. Everyone must have been in love once.”

  “Not an ugly mouse like you.”

  The chauffeur knew the Pillar was joking. “I fell in love with a girl, mousy like me. We suited each other. In fact, she loved me a lot.”

  “If so, why aren’t you with her now?”

  “Because I’m with you, professor.”

  “Why are you with me?”

  “I believe in your cause—morally controversial, yes, but I’d like to help.”

  “I didn’t know you were a miserable liar,” the Pillar said.

  “Liar?”

  “You’re not here because of me. You’re here because of the money I pay.”

  “What’s wrong with a man needing a job?”

  “I’ll tell you what’s wrong,” the Pillar said. He leaned forward, one hand gripping the back of the passenger seat. “You’re not spending time with the one you love, thinking that making money and securing your future will help you prosper, so you can finally spend time with her.”

  “Professor.” The chauffeur shrugged. “What are you telling me?”

  “Go back home,” the Pillar said. “Give me the keys, and go back to your loved one. Forget about me and Alice. This war that’s coming isn’t for everyone, unless you’re really ready.”

  “Ready for what?”

  “To give up on your loved ones.”

  Chapter 80

  THE PAST: BUS STATION, OXFORD

  Making out so bluntly with my future husband is like reaching the last rung on the ladder of insanity — let alone the fact I just said future husband.

  My lips on that boy are in severe pain. A strange pain. I close my eyes, wishing Jack would just disappear behind me. Hoping he gets the message and hates me for the rest of his life.

  But Jack doesn’t.

  He taps me on the shoulder. I try not to turn around. I’d prefer he walks away with my back to him.

  “Hey,” the boy says. “She’s mine.”

  I come to understand the boy and Jack might get into a fight. So I give in and turn to face Jack.

  Keep the tears locked inside, Alice. Just for a minute. If Jack sees you crying he’ll figure out something is wrong.

  “Is that why you were surprised I came back from the bathroom?” Jack’s pain is painted like a Picasso on his face. “Is that why you suddenly didn’t want to get on the bus?”

  “I—”

  I have nothing to say.

  Lorina takes the opportunity and backs Jack up. I can’t quite hear what she says. All my senses are focused on Jack’s pain. Generally, she is calling me all kinds of bad things.

  Jack’s eyes lock with mine. He must be seeing a stupid teenage girl, reckless and selfish. I see beautiful eyes that will enjoy a prosperous life and will not die young.

  The tension breaks with the bus’s ticket thrown at my face. It’s not Lorina who does it. But Jack. Lorina smiles broadly and takes Jack’s arm.

  “I never want to see you again,” Jack says. “I should have known. You’re weird.”

  “She is mentally cuckoo,” Lorina offers. Her friends laugh. “Trust me, I know. She’s my sister.”

  “I should’ve listened to the rumors,” Jack says.

  “Rumors?” It’s all I can say.

  “They said you were some kind of a witch or something. You and your Wonderland creeps.”

  “Let’s go, Jack,” Lorina says. “You don’t need this trip. I have a surprise for you.”

  Jack’s last stare at me is full of disappointment. Borderline hatred. I’m sure it can’t be fixed in the future now.

  Go away, Jack. Go with Lorina. Stay alive.

  My future husband senses the tension and holds me before I collapse under the weight of my pain. I pretend I like it, watching Jack walk away.

  With every step, I get this warm feeling up my nostrils. I realize it’s blood. My time in the past is scant. I may have saved Jack, and the bus, but I haven’t found my Wonder. I haven’t saved myself.

  But Jack returns for one last scene. An unexpected one, really. “Here.” He hands me a necklace. “It’s yours, and I don’t want anything that reminds me of you.”

  “Mine?” I stare at it, remembering he talked to me about it earlier. But I don’t recognize it.

  “You don’t even remember you gave it to me?” Jack says. “I bet you give it to all the boys.”

  “What’s this for?” I stare at the necklace in my hand and realize there is a key attached to it. The key has a drawing of the Six Keys on it. On the back is that strange number 14 again. This is the key to where I keep the rest of Six Impossible Keys.

  The irony.

  I stand with the necklace in my hand. The keys. The reason why I embarked on this journey from the beginning. I’ve exchanged Jack’s life for the keys. No wonder they never found the rest of them. I kept them with Jack.

  “I don’t want the necklace,” I scream at Jack. The pain is too strong. I don’t know why I do it, but I throw the keys back in his face. They’ll end up in Black Chess’s hands if I keep them with me. Jack catches them, as if a tiny piece of him still wants to carry a memory of me.

  Then he disappears.

  My bleeding intensifies and I begin to feel dizzy. In only minutes I’ll die, it seems. All I need now is to make sure the bus is safe.

  I watch it arrive. The yellow school bus slows down by the curb. Most girls forget about the drama, excited by the trip they’re about to take.

  You did it, Alice. You did it.

  I watch the girls get on the bus, my nose bleeding faster, but my heart is fluttering with victory. It’s hard to imagine that I started this journey looking for a bunch of keys. Here I am, ending up with a bitter victory. But it’s the right thing to do.

  Without me on the bus, the future can change. Who said we can’t change the past, Mrs. Tock?

  Chapter 81r />
  THE PRESENT: INSIDE THE INKLINGS, OXFORD

  “Did we just get the keys back?” Mr. Tick squinted at the dying Alice on the table.

  “I’m not sure, Mr. Tick,” his wife said. “Alice found the keys, but I think she threw them back to Jack.”

  “She also looks like she is going to pass on killing her classmates.” Mr. Tick didn’t look happy about it.

  “Can’t have all the cake, Mr. Tick.”

  “Of course I can have all the cake.” He pointed at the brownie in his hand. “I always do. Figure out a way for Alice to kill her classmates and make sure she gets the keys.”

  “I don’t know how to do that, Mr. Tick.”

  “Mr. Jay will be very upset.”

  “Margaret hired us to send Alice back in time to get the keys. She never said anything about keeping the timeline intact.”

  “But this will change a lot of things.”

  “I know, Mr. Tick. She will also die without killing her classmates. Because she will not have found her Wonder.”

  “Which means we will not even get the keys, if she has them.”

  “We don’t need to, Mr. Tick. We know that the keys are with Jack.”

  “So?”

  “Last I heard, the Cheshire managed to possess Jack’s body. With a few tweaks and digging into his mind, the Cheshire will know where they are.”

  “That’s genius, Mrs. Tock. But how about Alice? Doesn’t Black Chess want their fiercest warrior back?”

  “Can’t help her now,” Mrs. Tock said. “Like I said, if she doesn’t kill her classmates, she dies.”

  “She is already dying.” He pointed at Alice on the bed. “Look at how fast she is bleeding.”

  “Farewell, Bad Alice,” Mrs. Tock said. “We’ll miss you. You were real fun.”

  “Look at the endless number of kids she inspired for a century and a half,” Mr. Tick said. “Did the kids know she was the Bad Alice?”

  “Some did.”