Cremains of the Day

by Misty Simon

  It was a big wish list of questions. Drifting off to sleep, I decided I’d tackle them one at a time.

  * * *

  The next morning the sun was peeking through the blinds on my third-floor window way before I was ready to get out of bed. But then I remembered I had to clean Darla’s house. If I could get there early enough, I shouldn’t have to speak to her at all. Having cashed her check yesterday afternoon, I wouldn’t be due another payment for two weeks.

  The drive to the Hackershams’ house at 7:30 was uneventful. I parked around back because Darla enjoyed making me do it. And because the woman took great glee in making me use the servants’ entrance.

  I honestly didn’t give a damn. When I was in the midst of the high life I had thought it was fabulous—don’t get me wrong, I loved all my shoes and clothes and unlimited spending account and not worrying about actually budgeting for anything—but it got wearying toward the end. Plus, Waldo was no real prize when it came down to it. Outside, he was a delicious specimen of male but inside, not so much.

  I hadn’t left him when I found out he was cheating (courtesy of the lovely Darla), but I had made him leave our bedroom and never darken my doorway again. Not that he’d darkened it often. In fact, it had been over two years since we’d had sex—since I’d had sex.

  Then, I found out about the skimming he’d been doing from some of his smaller accounts. His job as an investment banker gave him access to millions, money people entrusted to him for their retirement. And he was misusing the money and abusing their trust. That I couldn’t abide. So I took my Lexus and hightailed it out of there after reporting him to the authorities. My understanding was that he had an answer for everything. I didn’t believe him. They shouldn’t have, either, though at that point it was no longer my problem. Of course, then I found out about the sheer number of women he’d bedded and that was just about the Clorox in my coffee.

  I knocked once on the back door and was admitted immediately by Letty, the live-in maid. I was tempted to ask her if she’d seen the guy with the fancy black and white shoes yesterday, but we didn’t ever talk much other than to exchange hellos, and then I immediately got to work. Part of me thought Darla just enjoyed me cleaning her house. I mean, why did she need me and a live-in maid? But her checks were good and I wasn’t complaining.

  They’d had some huge party last night. Glasses and garbage, misplaced pillows, and drunkenly leaning chairs were a testament to the fact that no one had made any effort at all to clean up after themselves. I was not surprised, but after last night’s events, I really did not want to be here.

  Darla wouldn’t be awake until sometime after ten. I could run the vacuum cleaner and probably sing at the top of my lungs and not wake her up from her Valium-and-vodka–induced sleep. Darla also had a white-noise machine and a sleeping mask. I was safe. And if I could be quick, I’d be out of here with plenty of time to avoid the mistress of the house.

  Starting with the kitchen, I cleaned counters and dishes, which left me too much time to think. I had no intention of trying to help figure out what had happened to Waldo. Or why he’d been in the alley and Katie in the Bean. Moving on, though, there was a very busy little part of my brain working while I scrubbed the same damned toilet that yet again could not enjoy a well-aimed stream. If I were Darla I might think about painting a freaking bull’s-eye in the bowl, but that was just me.

  The doorbell rang several times, interrupting my toilet musings. I continued to wipe down the counter as I listened for Letty to answer. By the time the person at the door leaned on the doorbell, I had had enough and yanked open the door myself.

  On the stoop stood the now-infamous flower guy.

  “You again?”

  He cleared his throat. “Right. Max.” And he pointed at the name embroidered on his chest.

  We stared at each other for a moment until I raised one of my eyebrows. “Was there a reason you’re here, Max?” I couldn’t miss the huge spray of flowers in his arms, but I wasn’t going to let him off the hook so easily. I still had a feeling there was something more going on there than the surface showed.

  “Right! Here’s a delivery for Darla Hackersham.” He thrust the flowers at me. Without any other choice, I took them. I had no money in my pockets for a tip, and Letty was apparently in the back, probably watching one of her daytime talk shows.

  “Well, thanks.” I stepped back and shut the door in his face.

  The card in the dozen roses was not in an envelope. It was easy enough to see Mr. Wagner, another man in the upper crust of our little burg, had sent them. I took a moment to smile because I used to get flowers from him too. He was one of the few people I actually missed from my former life.

  Placing the bouquet on the piecrust table outside the living room, I figured someone would see them there, then got back down to the hard work.

  The living room, formal dining room, music room, and library were all full of champagne glasses, ashtrays, and general messiness. Four garbage bags and three rounds of dishes later, I went to scope out the office and the sitting room. As far as I knew, no one should have been in there. Darla made a point to keep her parties tightly contained even if she didn’t clean.

  I made a cursory pass over each room and found them to be just as I had left them yesterday afternoon. As I neared her office, I tried not to think about the man with the shoes that had almost connected with my face. Even though I still knew the majority of movers and shakers in Darla and Waldo’s circle, I had no idea who he was. The voice wasn’t familiar at all. Very few new people were ever allowed into the circle.

  But as far as I knew, I had never seen the guy and I couldn’t place the voice. Who had he been? Why had he been here and what was with the yelling? Not that it was any of my business. Darla had her own things going on, and I was just the house cleaner; nothing more, nothing less.

  Done with all my tasks, I called out a good-bye to Letty, then made a beeline for my car. I was riding very close to the 10:00 mark and not interested in rehashing what had happened with Waldo last night. I was surprised Darla hadn’t set her alarm clock to grill me about the whole sordid thing.

  But I wasn’t looking that particular gift horse in the mouth.

  I hauled tail away from the house with my thoughts still whirling. I had about a half an hour before the next house and wanted a caffeine fix. I could go to the apartment above the dead, but knew I had nothing more exciting than store-bought coffee to feed my need.

  So I went to Gina’s and headed right for the counter. I got a drink, then turned to find there wasn’t a single spot to sit since it was almost ten in the morning. Not wanting to answer all the questions being called out across the shop anyway, I played the friend card and went into the back. Here Gina had a break room with some terrifically comfortable chairs she’d found at a garage sale.

  “What are you doing back here?” Gina asked three minutes after I sat myself down at the small table in the Bean’s back room. I’d thought I’d have a moment to savor my drink before going on to the next house. Apparently, Gina had other ideas.

  “Just taking a moment to breathe before I get back to business. My phone has been ringing off my hip, and everyone keeps trying to flag me down to hear what I saw. I have about fourteen people who’ve called Waldo a bastard and five who think he was a saint for putting up with me for so many years. I just wanted a few quiet minutes.”

  “Yeah, well, I don’t think you’re going to get them here. Burton’s been looking for you and some guy came in saying he had a flower delivery for you. I could’ve sworn I’d seen him before, but couldn’t place him. He said this was the address he’d been given to deliver to. What’s up with that?”

  I had a quick vision of the dark, manly man from last night and this morning at Darla’s, then resolutely shook it off. Surely there were other delivery places in town. Besides, who on earth would be sending me flowers?

  “Did he leave the arrangement?”

  “No, he said he’d be
back after three. So you might want to be here when he does show, because I really want to know who on earth is sending you flowers.”

  If it was Max who was looking for me, why hadn’t he just given them to me at Darla’s? “You don’t have to make it sound so unthinkable that I could get flowers.”

  “From who? You haven’t dated anyone since you moved out of Waldo’s. No matter who I try to suggest. You don’t even look at guys as anything more than a necessary tool to do whatever job you need done.”

  “Yes, thank you. I know.”

  “Oh, don’t go getting your panties all in a wad. I’m just saying I don’t know who would be sending you flowers right now, and it’s way too early for a widow’s bouquet.”

  “Good Lord, Gina. I won’t be getting any widow’s spray. Waldo is not going to die. He only got stun-gunned. Other than that, he’s healthy, according to the doctors at the hospital. I guess I’ll be here at three, then, won’t I?”

  “And so will I. But first you’d better go find Burton and see what he wants. He might just put an APB out on you if you don’t show up soon.”

  “Right. The first first, though, is that I’m going to finish my latte.” I eyed Gina and tried to convey I’d really like to do that on my own, in peace and quiet.

  She got the hint. With a smile, she left the room and went back out front to help her customers. I could hear the murmur of conversation out there and figured most of it would be about Waldo’s attack. While I didn’t know everyone in town, it was still on the smallish size. Since nothing else was currently going on, the attack would be major gossip, especially because it wasn’t a cut-and-dried case. I didn’t know how many details others were aware of, but I wasn’t going to be the one running around telling people Waldo had been hit in the only place he valued more than his wallet.

  Once I finished my latte, I would go back out into the world, looking for Burton. Might as well get it all over with so I could go on to the next house.

  Rising from the chair, I heard a crinkle of paper. My list of houses for the day was in my back pocket and must have fallen out. I shoved it back in my pocket as I headed out the door. Mama Shirley was on her way back here, and I didn’t want to get caught in another motherly conversation at the moment.

  As I ducked out the back of the store, I couldn’t help but stare at the spot where Waldo had been last night. A couple of pieces of fluttering crime-scene tape still decorated the alley, but for the most part it was clear. Burton and the police must have come back this morning and finished up whatever they couldn’t do last night in the dark.

  Waldo’s hair had stood up from his head like the plumage of a bird. I never would have thought he’d been jolted in the man bits, but it was not like it would have been my go-to thought. Who would do something like that?

  My phone went off in my pocket as soon as I exited the alley and turned the corner onto Main Street. Who could possibly want what from me now?

  “What’s up, Letty?” I said after I glanced at the display screen.

  “Hey, Tallie. You left your vacuum here. I didn’t know if you’d need it wherever you’re going next.”

  Damn. I would definitely need it. A lot of my clients had those whole-house vacuum cleaners. I didn’t trust those little buggers to actually get things done, or at least not correctly.

  After doing some mental calculating of my time, I realized I’d better haul ass if I wanted to make it to my next house on time. How could I be so stupid as to leave my tools at my last job? “I’ll be over in a few. Thanks.”

  “It’ll be in the living room then. I have to go out to do some shopping. You know where the key is.”

  “Yeah, see you.” I booked it to the car. This was going to be a long day and it had only recently gotten started.

  Hopefully, I’d be in and out of there before Darla noticed I had even been there the first time. My phone had been burning up with calls all morning. Most of them I didn’t know, and the ones I would have expected never called. Fine by me. If the old guard wanted information, they could get it elsewhere.

  With Letty gone shopping, I bent into the little patch of mulch on the left side of the back porch, dug out a ridiculous ceramic lotus flower, and cracked it open to reveal the spare key. I really hoped luck would stay on my side so I could be in and out of the house without running into Darla. I had at least a slim chance since it was only a little after ten.

  Because Darla knew Burton personally, I figured she would be all atwitter about Waldo being buzzed in the balls. I did not want to have that conversation with her. I had seen Darla eyeing my husband more than once when we were still married. Personally, I thought Darla had only told me about the cheating because Waldo wouldn’t sleep with her. But that was just a theory.

  Closing the door softly behind me, I made tracks through the kitchen, snagging a cookie from the jar on the way. I hadn’t had breakfast yet and that latte was not helping my stomach feel full. As I munched, I walked softly into the living room. Someone must have seen the flowers on the table from earlier because the bouquet was no longer there.

  And then there was my high-end vacuum cleaner. I hadn’t gone with the cheapy brand. In anticipation of lots of vacuuming, I’d bought a good one, then offered people my services. Eighteen clients later, this vacuum was my best friend and stalwart companion.

  A whirring noise started behind me, which had me jerking my head to the left. The whole-house vacuum cleaner seemed to be attacking the wall. This was why I didn’t like those buggers. They got stuck on weird things, and it just creeped me out to have a machine roving the floor without any supervision. I turned it off and scooted it to the threshold of the hardwood floor with my toe. Letty could put it away when she got back. She most likely was the one who started it, though I didn’t get why when I’d just cleaned.

  After wrapping the cord around the length of my vacuum, I got behind it, lowered the arm, and began scooting my way across the floor, humming. Today would not be the long day I had thought it would be. The trouble was past, Waldo would recover, and whatever had been going on with him would not touch me. I wouldn’t let it. He’d ruined enough of my life. I wasn’t going to let him do it any longer.

  I got halfway to the kitchen when all that coffee hit my bladder like a tidal wave. It was one I’d cleaned, so I figured no one else had used it in the hour I’d been gone. I decided to detour, since as of yet there had not been a single sign of Darla. I could chance it for another two minutes.

  Trooping down the hall, I walked past the door to the library, another that gave a different entrance to the kitchen, and a closet for various linens for the dining-room table and extra candles. I knew what was in there because I’d had to set up more parties in the last six months than I had attended in the six years before I’d split from Waldo. Darren’s firm must have really taken off at some point for them to be able to afford all the things they now had and all the entertaining they now did. When they inherited and remodeled, Darla had told me they used most of what they’d been given. From all the new stuff and entertaining, I figured business must be booming, or they’d inherited again. I wasn’t on the inside anymore, so I wouldn’t know.

  I made my pit stop, then left while making sure everything was where it should be. I was good to go. On my way to get my hands on my vacuum again, I passed the closet for a second time. I was three strides beyond the door when I realized something looked out of place.

  Why was the door open? Maybe that was where the house vacuum was kept and the door had been left ajar for it to put itself to bed after it was done.

  But what I had seen out of place suddenly registered, and I gasped. It had been a foot. A foot had been sticking out of the closet, shod in an expensive high-heeled shoe. I was almost more frightened to find an entire body attached to the foot, but I had to go look. God help me.

  Chapter 4

  Maybe I was hallucinating. I had to have been, because there couldn’t possibly be a foot sticking out of the closet on th
e main floor. Darla could tie one on with the best of them, but she’d never been so drunk she’d fallen into a closet. Darren wouldn’t have let her. It could potentially ruin his reputation, and reputation was very important to Darren. So if she wasn’t drunk, then what did that leave me? My mind flashed to Waldo in the alley. Could she be hurt?

  I was afraid to turn back around to see if what I thought I saw was real. But I couldn’t walk out of the house without knowing Darla was at least going to recover. I didn’t particularly like the woman, but I did have standards.

  Turning around slowly, I kept my eyes closed for a moment just to center myself. I would open them and there would be nothing out of the ordinary. She would be drunk and Darren had just gone to bed too early to realize she hadn’t come upstairs. And since I was the help, me seeing her drunk in a closet wouldn’t wreak any havoc on his reputation. I was just seeing bad things in unlikely places because of what had happened to Waldo. That was all there was to it.

  When I opened my eyes, though, there was definitely a foot sticking out of the closet. I’d know those silver heels anywhere. Darla had made a point to show them to me last week while I wore grubby sneakers. She had sneered when she said she knew I couldn’t possibly afford them.

  I took a deep breath and yanked open the door, immediately stopping in my tracks.

  Darla wasn’t just hurt. She was definitely dead. There was no way the woman was going to start breathing like Waldo had last night. She had a big butcher knife sticking out of her chest.

  My stomach rolled, bile flew fast and furious into my throat, and I was pretty sure I stopped breathing because my head went light.

  Gasping for air, I checked for a pulse, just in case. When I didn’t find one in her neck or either wrist, I jerked away from the body. My God, this was much, much worse than Waldo being stun-gunned in the privates. Darla was dead. And Darla being dead was very, very bad. It wasn’t as if she could have fallen on that knife all by herself. My brain was racing as fast as it could, trying to figure out if somehow I had missed the foot and the closet when I was here earlier. But I’d vacuumed right around this spot. No way would I have missed it.