Bladed Wings

by Davis, Jarod

  “Yes.”

  Kayla didn’t expect that answer. She thought he’d play through some more dancing of back and forth. She was supposed to get him to ask. He was supposed to evade with every answer. That’s why she lowered her voice, “I wouldn’t judge you for it.”

  “How can you believe that?”

  She watched him and wouldn’t pull her gaze away, yet he didn’t take his eyes from the road. She got the impression that he didn’t want to see someone looking at him. “If you did something wrong, it wouldn’t matter, because it’s in the past. Maybe you made the wrong choice. Maybe it was a mistake. Maybe it was an accident.”

  “I wouldn’t feel anything about an accident.”

  “But you feel guilty?”

  She expected a different evasion again, but for the second time in as many minutes, Seth told her the truth, “Yes.” He flashed a grin empty of any humor. “But guilt doesn’t matter. If someone’s hurt or dead, if there’s a whole in someone’s life, it doesn’t matter what you feel after it’s done. They’re still gone. Someone still has to suffer. That’s not fair, but it’s the truth.”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay?” he asked. This time he looked back at her. “Just okay?”

  “Just okay,” she agreed.

  “I thought you’d try to tell me how redemption is easy if I just lay down my sins.”

  “That’s true,” Kayla smiled this time. “But since you already knew it, I didn’t have to tell you.” This time she was rewarded with the flutter of a smile. “If you want to tell me what happened, you can, and I won’t turn away from you. No matter what happened, I promise you Seth, I’ll be there for you, same way you’ve been there for me. If you don’t want to tell me why you have to cut class every day, I’ll keep pestering you about it because I’m really curious and stubborn. Sorry. Those are some of my flaws.”

  “They’re not flaws.”

  “I don’t think my family would agree with you there,” she said. That same sticky, cold feeling crawled up from her stomach, but she wouldn’t let those problems ruin these moments with him.

  “Flaws are only a problem when everyone around you doesn’t like them.”

  “Who likes stubborn?”

  “I do,” he said.

  This time Kayla didn’t make eye contact. Without the light, there was a good chance he wouldn’t notice a shade of red touch her cheeks. Kayla hated blushing. It was like her face wanted to tell on her. “You do?” At least she didn’t hear any breaks when she asked.

  “Stubborn is good,” he said. “Most people aren’t stubborn enough. They don’t push hard enough.” He smirked, “But maybe I feel that way since I spend a lot of time shoving people around. That should make a bully, right?”

  “Depends,” she said.

  “Really?” he asked. “It’s immoral. I remove people’s ability to choose for themselves. It doesn’t seem like there’s anything worse than that. A little bit of effort and I take away everything they want to be.”

  “It still depends,” Kayla said and savored that brief second of confusion which played out on his face. It was hard to get that kind of reaction out of him. It made him look interested and let her imagine that maybe she could have a chance. “What do you do with these abilities? Sure, you’d be a jerk if you just make people dance for you or something. But so far, I haven’t seen you do anything really bad.” Kayla paused for dramatic effect, one finger against her bottom lip, “In fact, every time you’ve used your abilities, it’s been to help someone.”

  “That’s all you’ve seen.”

  “So you made someone dance?” she asked. “Like with a funny hat?”

  Seth glanced down, his chin against his chest. “No, I never did that.”

  “Unfunny hat?”

  “You know I wouldn’t do something like that.”

  “Exactly,” Kayla agreed. “Which means you just agreed with me.”

  “Can I ask you something? Seriously now?” he asked. Kayla gave a quick sure, not sure where he’d go. “If none of the nascent stuff happened, what would you be doing now?”

  “You’re thinking about the Alliance?”

  “I don’t believe it,” he told her. “We’re not angels and we’re not demons. I get that.”

  “How can you tell?”

  “I don’t believe in them.” He said. “There’s nothing good, not like that. But it doesn’t matter. I wouldn’t really care if I were wrong. What I want to know is what you’d do if your results come back and Vigo says you’re a demon? Maybe his special test will come back with something that says you’re fundamentally evil.”

  “Simple,” Kayla said. She wanted that to come out light and easy, maybe even flirtatious, but she was never good at that. “I don’t believe in demons.”

  “But you still think angels are real?”

  “Yes.”

  “So heaven with no hell?”

  “Exactly,” Kayla said. “I don’t want to think about a universe where anyone has to suffer forever. That’s just not right.” She pushed a bang of hair back behind her ear because that was supposed to look cute and it was easier than reading his expression.

  “That doesn’t make any sense.” Seth didn’t sound mean about it, just disoriented. “Seriously, how does that even work?”

  “Okay,” Kayla said. “Just look at it this way. We’re alive for sixty, seventy, maybe eighty years. It looks like a long time, but it’s really not. I mean, the universe is supposed to go on for a couple trillion more years, and that’s still nothing compared to eternity. It’s not fair that you mess up here and then have to suffer for infinity.”

  “Makes sense.”

  “But you don’t believe me?”

  “I think there has to be punishment.”

  “Maybe there is,” Kayla said. “But even then, that’s not something we get to decide.”

  “We talk about it all the time,” Seth said. “All around us, people make judgments about one another. I hear it every day in the way people think about each other. Sometimes it’s stupid. She wore an ugly shirt. He acted like a jerk. But then you get anything else and people are still brutal. As a species, we’d sentence every last one of ourselves to hell forever.”

  “And you think we’re right.”

  “Sometimes,” Seth said.

  “You’re wrong.”

  “You keep saying that.”

  Kayla nodded, a little too excited, a little too cheerful, “And I’m going to keep saying it until you believe me because it’s true and you shouldn’t feel bad about things you can’t change, especially if you’re working and trying to be a better person.”

  “Someday, I’ll probably tell you what happened.”

  “You could do it now.”

  “I’ll tell you,” Seth told her like she didn’t say anything. “And you’ll know. You’ll know you shouldn’t be near me. You’ll know that I’m dangerous. You’ll know that I’m not worth your time.” He shook his head, “You’ll know that I don’t really care about you. Because if I did, I would have walked away. I wouldn’t be here now.”

  “Well, I’m glad you’re making a mistake then.”

  “You’ll get disgusted. You’ll run away, but I won’t blame you for that.” He smiled, a little sad this time. “I’ve got to say something else. This has been good. In the last few years, I haven’t known anyone like you. I’m with you, and things feel brighter.”

  He didn’t want to be with her. He liked being with her. Kayla didn’t know how to interpret that. She didn’t know what she was supposed to say after a guy told her something like that. Seriously, what was she supposed to say? If she didn’t know what guys normally thought, she definitely didn’t know how to answer that.

  “Did I hurt you?” he asked, “I could take you home.”

  “No. I’m fine.”

  “I want to be honest with you. You have that effect on me for some reason. I could lie to everyone else. I wouldn’t even need to warp their minds. People
can look at me and just know I’m telling the truth, especially when I’m lying. But you’re different.”

  “I’m not going to just ditch you.” Kayla didn’t want to admit the next part. “I know how it feels. Friends. Even family, a little. So yeah,” she smiled at him, “You’re stuck with me.” She didn’t want that night to end. Kayla didn’t know what should’ve made her more nervous, the thought he’d want to take her home and disappear or how nervous she got at the thought. She shouldn’t have been that scared. A guy wasn’t supposed to be able to do that to her.

  “Maybe.” Only the sound of the engine, the faded screams of a distant siren, managed to puncture the silence. “I’ve never met anyone like you,” he said.

  At the same time, he pulled off the road and maneuvered into a parking garage. They were down town, surrounded by Sacramento’s few sky scrapers. They got out at the same time, and Kayla admired her surroundings. Cold and crisp air touched her lungs. It was energized, like it had the promise of something new, something different. She wanted to think something special would happen. Each of the buildings were darkened with just a few lights. They glowed like squared and yellow stars. Overhead, Kayla noticed a flurry of real stars.

  “Where are we?”

  “It’s a surprise.”

  They started walking together. He didn’t take her to the stairwells. Instead, they just walked through the shadows. None of the lights were on. Each level was black. As they walked down the incline, Kayla couldn’t see her feet. Instead of feeling scared and alone, it felt warmer and safer. She knew he was beside her. She could feel Seth in a way she couldn’t explain. It was like an electricity, this little pulse of energy that vibrated between them.

  “Can I ask you something?” Kayla nodded, remembered that he couldn’t see her, and said yes. “If the Alliance decides to leave you alone, if you get to pick your life, what will you choose?” He sounded even, flat. It was the same tone he used whenever he was curious and nervous at the same time. Kayla felt a corner of her mouth rise in a quarter-smile. She was getting to know him. That felt special. That felt important.

  “Anything?”

  “Anything normal.”

  “College, I guess. Maybe meet someone. Get my degree. Get a job.”

  “Nothing more specific? Like what would you want to major in? Anything fun?”

  “Not really. I haven’t thought about it much.”

  “I’m guessing medicine.”

  “No, I don’t want to be a doctor.” Kayla felt herself shiver. “I wouldn’t want to have to tell people that their loved ones died or got sick. I don’t think I’d be good at that.”

  “I do,” Seth said. “You sound like you care. I think people would pick up on that. Like they could look at you and know you want them to feel better.”

  “If you say so,” she said. “So I guess it would have to be something else.” They cleared another level. Part of Kayla didn’t want to leave the dark. She didn’t know where they were headed and she didn’t care.

  “Astronomy,” she said.

  “Really? Stars.”

  “You’re surprised?” It didn’t sound special to her. Sure, it wasn’t the same communications or business major everyone else wanted.

  “I guess so.” There was something else, something she couldn’t name. “Doesn’t that go against your Christian ideals?”

  “Science?”

  “Yeah. What happens if you figure out that Earth isn’t the center of the universe?”

  “That’s not fair.”

  “The Church didn’t want scientists to share that theory, and then it was proven, and the priests didn’t look very bright,” Seth said. He didn’t sound like he wanted to bash her beliefs. He just sounded curious about how her faith and interests might go together.

  “Astronomy makes sense,” she said. “I know that God exists, I know that He is good, and I know that He gave us a very beautiful universe. Ignoring it seems kind of insulting, don’t you think? I want to understand it.”

  “What happens if you find something you don’t like?”

  “Don’t like?” she asked, “Or don’t understand?”

  “You really are like no one I’ve ever met.”

  They cleared the dark. Up ahead, there wasn’t a restaurant or a theatre, nothing she would’ve expected where they’d hang out. Instead, it looked like the double glass doors of an office building. That’s when they cleared the ceiling and she could look up.

  The building in front of them wasn’t a generic cube or rectangle. It was a step pyramid. Kayla had seen this building from the freeway or when her mom drove her downtown to the mall. Looking up, this building was way bigger than she thought. The lights were off in the individual rooms, but the pyramid was lit up, this golden beacon that anyone could have seen for miles. She still didn’t know what they were doing there, but she’d trust him. Kayla was pretty sure she’d always trust Seth. It was a different kind of faith, just as special.

  Despite the hour, the doors slid open for them. There were two guards off at the counter, and they looked up, annoyed and pleased at the same time. Probably annoyed because two teenagers just came into their building. Pleased because they were about to kick them out. Of course, they didn’t know who Seth was. He held up two fingers and waved himself through. They both sat back down.

  “Does that ever not feel weird?” she whispered, scared that if they heard her the spell might break.

  “Actually, I’m used to it. That whole thing about power corrupting absolutely.”

  “Think the same thing will happen to me?” Kayla had only used her abilities a couple times. She understood them better with Seth’s help, yet she still couldn’t imagine some moment where she’d grab stuff from the kitchen with a flick of her wrist or a pull of her finger. That might’ve been a bad idea too because she couldn’t let herself get rusty, not when Sasha was out there. An enemy, she had an enemy now, someone who wanted to hurt her.

  They came to a bank of elevators. Seth hit the button and turned to her, “No. That’ll never happen.” He said it like a fact. He said it like there was just no way he could think it would ever, ever take place. “You’ll be the exception.”

  “That doesn’t make very much sense.”

  With a roll of his shoulders, “I don’t have faith, but I think you’d find some way to be okay no matter what. You’re the one person who might be surrounded by complete evil and darkness and everything, the worst of the worst, and somehow you’d still be good.”

  “I wish you were right.”

  “Okay then,” Seth said, “Tell me, what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?”

  “That’s not fair.”

  “Why not?”

  “You won’t tell me. Why should I tell you?”

  “Because the worst you ever did might’ve involved stealing a barrette when you were like ten, but then consumed by guilt you probably ran back to the store owner apologizing and offering to pay twice what it actually cost.”

  The elevator doors opened and Kayla tried to keep her face down. She didn’t want to admit that that was pretty close to the truth. Beside her, she heard him chuckle, “I’m right, aren’t I? C’mon, tell me I’m wrong because you can’t. You know I’m not. I was right. I was totally right.”

  “Quit gloating,” she said and looked back at him. He had relaxed again. It didn’t happen very often. He could have been really popular if he didn’t have his abilities and didn’t have to hide from the Alliance, Kayla thought. It wasn’t hard to imagine him with someone just as strong, just as special, just as beautiful. Outside of some divine intervention, a quirk of fate or genetics, Kayla shouldn’t be with someone like him. “I thought you said you couldn’t read my mind. Cheater.”

  “I didn’t.” Seth held his hands up in surrender, “I just know how to read people.”

  The elevator stopped and the doors opened. There was another hall. Blue carpet covered the floor. The walls were decorated in different pieces of art. Th
ey were all designed to be inspirational, she thought. There were guys running up a hill, a knight fighting a dragon, and soldiers raising a flag over some mountain.

  “This really isn’t what I expected.”

  Seth led her forward through a confused series of turns. She tried to keep track: left, right, left, right, right, right, left. But she had to give up and trusted him. It was late enough that they didn’t see anyone else. Eventually, they came to another set of double doors. These looked like they were made of some heavy oak or some other expensive wood. Very rich executives signed billion dollar deals in places like this.

  “What did you expect?” Seth asked with a glance over at her.

  “I don’t know. Bowling?”

  “Bowling’s easy. I thought you’d like something a little more special.”

  “Hungry?”

  “I could eat,” she said. Her stomach grumbled beneath her jacket. She hadn’t eaten since lunch, and now she felt that weakness surge through her skin.

  Seth pulled the door open for her. On the other side was a dining room. It could’ve housed twenty, maybe thirty different tables. It was like a conference room or dining hall for overpowered executives. But now there was just one table with food.

  “I hope this is okay,” Seth said, “I’m not very good at this.”

  Across the room, past the empty tables, two candles softly glowed over the tablecloth. Softened light glowed from the lights overhead, everything gold and warm. “No,” she said, barely a whisper. “It’s perfect.”

  When she sat down with him, there were menus on the table. They looked out the windows and watched the different cars stream by. It was an incredible view, the kind that reminded Kayla of how small she was. Cars streamed by on the freeway, but she could see shoppers walk from the malls and shops downtown. They even had a clear view of the river. They started telling stories about the different people.

  The guy at the end of the street with five big bags was out shopping for his wife because he wanted to find the perfect gift, couldn’t decide, and had to buy everything. There was the couple. They looked like college students, and the guy was nervous because he was going to tell his girlfriend that he loved her for the first time.