Jurgen: A Comedy of Justice

by James Branch Cabell

  5.

  Requirements of Bread and Butter

  "Nessus," says Jurgen, "and am I so changed? For that Dorothy whom Iloved in youth did not know me."

  "Good and evil keep very exact accounts," replied the Centaur, "andthe face of every man is their ledger. Meanwhile the sun rises, itis already another workday: and when the shadows of those two whocome to take possession fall full upon the garden, I warn you, therewill be astounding changes brought about by the requirements ofbread and butter. You have not time to revive old memories bychatting with the others to whom you babbled aforetime in thisgarden."

  "Ah, Centaur, in the garden between dawn and sunrise there was neverany other save Dorothy la Desiree."

  The Centaur shrugged. "It may be you forget; it is certain that youunderestimate the local population. Some of the transient visitorsyou have seen, and in addition hereabouts dwell the year round allmanner of imaginary creatures. The fairies live just southward, andthe gnomes too. To your right is the realm of the Valkyries: theAmazons and the Cynocephali are their allies: all three of thesenations are continually at loggerheads with their neighbors, theBaba-Yagas, whom Morfei cooks for, and whose monarch is Oh, a personvery dangerous to name. Northward dwell the Lepracauns and the Menof Hunger, whose king is Clobhair. My people, who are ruled byChiron, live even further to the north. The Sphinx pastures onyonder mountain; and now the Chimaera is old and generally derided,they say that Cerberus visits the Sphinx at twilight, although I wasnever the person to disseminate scandal--"

  "Centaur," said Jurgen, "and what is Dorothy doing here?"

  "Why, all the women that any man has ever loved live here," repliedthe Centaur, "for very obvious reasons."

  "That is a hard saying, friend."

  Nessus tapped with his forefinger upon the back of Jurgen's hand."Worm's-meat! this is the destined food, do what you will, of smallwhite worms. This by and by will be a struggling pale corruption,like seething milk. That too is a hard saying, Jurgen. But it is atrue saying."

  "And was that Dorothy whom I loved in youth an imaginary creature?"

  "My poor Jurgen, you who were once a poet! she was your masterpiece.For there was only a shallow, stupid and airy, high-nosed andlight-haired miss, with no remarkable good looks,--and consider whatyour ingenuity made from such poor material! You should be proud ofyourself."

  "No, Centaur, I cannot very well be proud of my folly: yet I do notregret it. I have been befooled by a bright shadow of my ownraising, you tell me, and I concede it to be probable. No less, Iserved a lovely shadow; and my heart will keep the memory of thatloveliness until life ends, in a world where other men followpantingly after shadows which are not even pretty."

  "There is something in that, Jurgen: there is also something in anold tale we used to tell in Thessaly, about a fox and certaingrapes."

  "Well, but look you, Nessus, there is an emperor that reigns now inConstantinople and occasionally does business with me. Yes, and Icould tell you tales of by what shifts he came to the throne--"

  "Men's hands are by ordinary soiled in climbing," quoth the Centaur.

  "And 'Jurgen,' this emperor says to me, not many months ago, as hesat in his palace, crowned and dreary and trying to cheat me out ofmy fair profit on some emeralds,--'Jurgen, I cannot sleep of nights,because of that fool Alexius, who comes into my room with staringeyes and the bowstring still about his neck. And my Varangians mustbe in league with that silly ghost, because I constantly order themto keep Alexius out of my bedchamber, and they do not obey me,Jurgen. To be King of the East is not to the purpose, Jurgen, whenone must submit to such vexations.' Yes, it was Caesar Pharamondhimself said this to me: and I deduce the shadow of a crown has ledhim into an ugly pickle, for all that he is the mightiest monarch inthe world. And I would not change with Caesar Pharamond, not I who ama respectable pawnbroker, with my home in fee and my bit of tilledland. Well, this is a queer world, to be sure: and this garden isvisited by no stranger things than pop into a man's mind sometimes,without his knowing how."

  "Ah, but you must understand that the garden is speedily to beremodeled. Yonder you may observe the two whose requirements are torid the place of all fantastic unremunerative notions; and who willdevelop the natural resources of this garden according to generallyapproved methods."

  And from afar Jurgen could see two figures coming out of the east,so tall that their heads rose above the encircling hills andglistened in the rays of a sun which was not yet visible. One was awhite pasty-looking giant, with a crusty expression: he walked withthe aid of a cane. The other was of a pale yellow color: his facewas oily, and he rode on a vast cow that was called AEdhumla.

  "Make way there, brother, with your staff of life," says the yellowgiant, "for there is much to do hereabouts."

  "Ay, brother, this place must be altered a deal before it meets withour requirements," the other grumbled. "May I be toasted if I knowwhere to begin!"

  Then as the giants turned dull and harsh faces toward the garden,the sun came above the circle of blue hills, so that the mingledshadows of these two giants fell across the garden. For an instantJurgen saw the place oppressed by that attenuated mile-long shadow,as in heraldry you may see a black bar painted sheer across somebrightly emblazoned shield. Then the radiancy of everything twitchedand vanished, as a bubble bursts.

  And Jurgen was standing in the midst of a field, very neatly plowed,but with nothing as yet growing in it. And the Centaur was with himstill, it seemed, for there were the creature's hoofs, but all thegold had been washed or rubbed away from them in traveling withJurgen.

  "See, Nessus!" Jurgen cried, "the garden is made desolate. Oh,Nessus, was it fair that so much loveliness should be thus wasted!"

  "Nay," said the Centaur, "nay!" Long and wailingly he whinneyed,"Nay!"

  And when Jurgen raised his eyes he saw that his companion was not acentaur, but only a strayed riding-horse.

  "Were you the animal, then," says Jurgen, "and was it a quiteordinary animal, that conveyed me to the garden between dawn andsunrise?" And Jurgen laughed disconsolately. "At all events, youhave clothed me in a curious fine shirt. And, now I look, yourbridle is marked with a coronet. So I will return you to the castleat Bellegarde, and it may be that Heitman Michael will reward me."

  Then Jurgen mounted this horse and rode away from the plowed fieldwherein nothing grew as yet. As they left the furrows they came to asignboard with writing on it, in a peculiar red and yellowlettering.

  Jurgen paused to decipher this.

  "Read me!" was written on the signboard: "read me, and judge if youunderstand! So you stopped in your journey because I called,scenting something unusual, something droll. Thus, although I amnothing, and even less, there is no one that sees me but lingershere. Stranger, I am a law of the universe. Stranger, render the lawwhat is due the law!"

  Jurgen felt cheated. "A very foolish signboard, indeed! for how canit be 'a law of the universe', when there is no meaning to it!" saysJurgen. "Why, for any law to be meaningless would not be fair."