Jurgen: A Comedy of Justice

by James Branch Cabell

  28.

  Of Compromises in Leuke

  Now the tale tells that ten days later Jurgen and his Hamadryad wereduly married, in consonance with the law of the Wood: not for amoment did Chloris consider any violation of the proprieties, sothey were married the first evening she could assemble her kindred.

  "Still, Chloris, I already have two wives," says Jurgen, "and it isbut fair to confess it."

  "I thought it was only yesterday you arrived in Leuke."

  "That is true: for I came with the Equinox, over the long sea."

  "Then Jugatinus has not had time to marry you to anybody, andcertainly he would never think of marrying you to two wives. Why doyou talk such nonsense?"

  "No, it is true, I was not married by Jugatinus."

  "So there!" says Chloris, as if that settled matters. "Now you seefor yourself."

  "Why, yes, to be sure," says Jurgen, "that does put rather adifferent light upon it, now I think of it."

  "It makes all the difference in the world."

  "I would hardly go that far. Still, I perceive it makes adifference."

  "Why, you talk as if everybody did not know that Jugatinus marriespeople!"

  "No, dear, let us be fair! I did not say precisely that."

  "--And as if everybody was not always married by Jugatinus!"

  "Yes, here in Leuke, perhaps. But outside of Leuke, you understand,my darling!"

  "But nobody goes outside of Leuke. Nobody ever thinks of leavingLeuke. I never heard such nonsense."

  "You mean, nobody ever leaves this island?"

  "Nobody that you ever hear of. Of course, there are Lares andPenates, with no social position, that the kings of Pseudopolissometimes take a-voyaging--"

  "Still, the people of other countries do get married."

  "No, Jurgen," said Chloris, sadly, "it is a rule with Jugatinusnever to leave the island; and indeed I am sure he has never evenconsidered such unheard-of conduct: so, of course, the people ofother countries are not able to get married."

  "Well, but, Chloris, in Eubonia--"

  "Now if you do not mind, dear, I think we had better talk aboutsomething more pleasant. I do not blame you men of Eubonia, becauseall men are in such matters perfectly irresponsible. And perhaps itis not altogether the fault of the women, either, though I do thinkany really self-respecting woman would have the strength ofcharacter to keep out of such irregular relations, and that much Iam compelled to say. So do not let us talk any more about thesepersons whom you describe as your wives. It is very nice of you,dear, to call them that, and I appreciate your delicacy. Still, Ireally do believe we had better talk about something else."

  Jurgen deliberated. "Yet do you not think, Chloris, that in theabsence of Jugatinus--and in, as I understand it, the unavoidableabsence of Jugatinus,--somebody else might perform the ceremony?"

  "Oh, yes, if they wanted to. But it would not count. Nobody butJugatinus can really marry people. And so of course nobody elsedoes."

  "What makes you sure of that?"

  "Why, because," said Chloris, triumphantly, "nobody ever heard ofsuch a thing."

  "You have voiced," said Jurgen, "an entire code of philosophy. Letus by all means go to Jugatinus and be married."

  So they were married by Jugatinus, according to the ceremony withwhich the People of the Wood were always married by Jugatinus. FirstVirgo loosed the girdle of Chloris in such fashion as was customary;and Chloris, after sitting much longer than Jurgen liked in the lapof Mutinus (who was in the state that custom required of him) wasled back to Jurgen by Domiducus in accordance with immemorialcustom; Subigo did her customary part; then Praema grasped thebride's plump arms: and everything was perfectly regular.

  Thereafter Jurgen disposed of his staff in the way Thersites haddirected: and thereafter Jurgen abode with Chloris upon theoutskirts of the forest, and complied with the customs of Leuke. Hertree was a rather large oak, for Chloris was now in her two hundredand sixty-sixth year; and at first its commodious trunk shelteredthem. But later Jurgen builded himself a little cabin thatched withbirds' wings, and made himself more comfortable.

  "It is well enough for you, my dear, in fact it is expected of you,to live in a tree-bole. But it makes me feel uncomfortably like aworm, and it needlessly emphasizes the restrictions of married life.Besides, you do not want me under your feet all the time, nor I you.No, let us cultivate a judicious abstention from familiarity: suchis one secret of an enduring, because endurable, marriage. But whyis it, pray, that you have never married before, in all theseyears?"

  She told him. At first Jurgen could not believe her, but presentlyJurgen was convinced, through at least two of his senses, that whatChloris told him was true about hamadryads.

  "Otherwise, you are not markedly unlike the women of Eubonia," saidJurgen.

  And now Jurgen met many of the People of the Wood; but since thetree of Chloris stood upon the verge of the forest, he saw far moreof the People of the Field, who dwelt between the forest and thecity of Pseudopolis. These were the neighbors and the ordinaryassociates of Chloris and Jurgen; though once in a while, of course,there would be family gatherings in the forest. But Jurgen presentlyhad found good reason to distrust the People of the Wood, and wentto none of these gatherings.

  "For in Eubonia," he said, "we are taught that your wife's relativeswill never find fault with you to your face so long as you keep awayfrom them. And more than that, no sensible man expects."

  Meanwhile, King Jurgen was perplexed by the People of the Field, whowere his neighbors. They one and all did what they had always done.Thus Runcina saw to it that the Fields were weeded: Seia took careof the seed while it was buried in the earth: Nodosa arranged theknots and joints of the stalk: Volusia folded the blade around thecorn: each had an immemorial duty. And there was hardly a day thatsomebody was not busied in the Fields, whether it was Occatorharrowing, or Sator and Sarritor about their sowing and raking, orStercutius manuring the ground: and Hippona was always bustlingabout in one place or another looking after the horses, or elseBubona would be there attending to the cattle. There was never anyrestfulness in the Fields.

  "And why do you do these things year in and year out?" asked Jurgen.

  "Why, King of Eubonia, we have always done these things," they said,in high astonishment.

  "Yes, but why not stop occasionally?"

  "Because in that event the work would stop. The corn would die, thecattle would perish, and the Fields would become jungles."

  "But, as I understand it, this is not your corn, nor your cattle,nor your Fields. You derive no good from them. And there is nothingto prevent your ceasing this interminable labor, and living as dothe People of the Wood, who perform no heavy work whatever."

  "I should think not!" said Aristaeus, and his teeth flashed in a smilethat was very pleasant to see, as he strained at the olive-press."Whoever heard of the People of the Wood doing anything useful!"

  "Yes, but," says Jurgen, patiently, "do you think it is quite fairto yourselves to be always about some tedious and difficult laborwhen nobody compels you to do it? Why do you not sometimes takeholiday?"

  "King Jurgen," replied Fornax, looking up from the little furnacewherein she was parching corn, "you are talking nonsense. The Peopleof the Field have never taken holiday. Nobody ever heard of such athing."

  "We should think not indeed!" said all the others, sagely.

  "Ah, ah!" said Jurgen, "so that is your demolishing reason. Well, Ishall inquire about this matter among the People of the Wood, forthey may be more sensible."

  Then as Jurgen was about to enter the forest, he encounteredTerminus, perfumed with ointment, and crowned with a garland ofroses, and standing stock still.

  "Aha," said Jurgen, "so here is one of the People of the Wood aboutto go down into the Fields. But if I were you, my friend, I wouldkeep away from any such foolish place."

  "I never go down into the Fields," said Terminus.

  "Oh, then, you are returning into the forest."

&n
bsp; "But certainly not. Whoever heard of my going into the forest!"

  "Indeed, now I look at you, you are merely standing here."

  "I have always stood here," said Terminus.

  "And do you never move?"

  "No," said Terminus.

  "And for what reason?"

  "Because I have always stood here without moving," replied Terminus."Why, for me to move would be a quite unheard-of thing."

  So Jurgen left him, and went into the forest. And there Jurgenencountered a smiling young fellow, who rode upon the back of alarge ram. This young man had his left fore-finger laid to his lips,and his right hand held an astonishing object to be thus publiclydisplayed.

  "But, oh, dear me! now, really, sir--!" says Jurgen.

  "Bah!" says the ram.

  But the smiling young fellow said nothing at all as he passedJurgen, because it is not the custom of Harpocrates to speak.

  "Which would be well enough," reflected Jurgen, "if only his customdid not make for stiffness and the embarrassment of others."

  Thereafter Jurgen came upon a considerable commotion in the bushes,where a satyr was at play with an oread.

  "Oh, but this forest is not respectable!" said Jurgen. "Have you noethics and morals, you People of the Wood! Have you no sense ofresponsibility whatever, thus to be frolicking on a working-day?"

  "Why, no," responded the Satyr, "of course not. None of my peoplehave such things: and so the natural vocation of all satyrs is thatwhich you are now interrupting."

  "Perhaps you speak the truth," said Jurgen. "Still, you ought to beashamed of the fact that you are not lying."

  "For a satyr to be ashamed of himself would be indeed an unheard-ofthing! Now go away, you in the glittering shirt! for we are studyingeudaemonism, and you are talking nonsense, and I am busy, and youannoy me," said the Satyr.

  "Well, but in Cocaigne," said Jurgen, "this eudaemonism wasconsidered an indoor diversion."

  "And did you ever hear of a satyr going indoors?"

  "Why, save us from all hurt and harm! but what has that to do withit?"

  "Do not try to equivocate, you shining idiot! For now you see foryourself you are talking nonsense. And I repeat that such unheard-ofnonsense irritates me," said the Satyr.

  The Oread said nothing at all. But she too looked annoyed, andJurgen reflected that it was probably not the custom of oreads to berescued from the eudaemonism of satyrs.

  So Jurgen left them; and yet deeper in the forest he found a bald-headedsquat old man, with a big paunch and a flat red nose and very smallbleared eyes. Now the old fellow was so helplessly drunk that he couldnot walk: instead, he sat upon the ground, and leaned against a tree-bole.

  "This is a very disgusting state for you to be in so early in themorning," observed Jurgen.

  "But Silenus is always drunk," the bald-headed man responded, with adignified hiccough.

  "So here is another one of you! Well, and why are you always drunk,Silenus?"

  "Because Silenus is the wisest of the People of the Wood."

  "Ah, ah! but I apologize. For here at last is somebody with aplausible excuse for his daily employment. Now, then, Silenus, sinceyou are so wise, come tell me, is it really the best fate for a manto be drunk always?"

  "Not at all. Drunkenness is a joy reserved for the Gods: so do menpartake of it impiously, and so are they very properly punished fortheir audacity. For men, it is best of all never to be born; but,being born, to die very quickly."

  "Ah, yes! but failing either?"

  "The third best thing for a man is to do that which seems expectedof him," replied Silenus.

  "But that is the Law of Philistia: and with Philistia, they informme, Pseudopolis is at war."

  Silenus meditated. Jurgen had discovered an uncomfortable thingabout this old fellow, and it was that his small bleared eyes didnot blink nor the lids twitch at all. His eyes moved, as throughmagic the eyes of a painted statue might move horribly, under quitemotionless red lids. Therefore it was uncomfortable when these eyesmoved toward you.

  "Young fellow in the glittering shirt, I will tell you a secret: andit is that the Philistines were created after the image of Koshcheiwho made some things as they are. Do you think upon that! So thePhilistines do that which seems expected. And the people of Leukewere created after the image of Koshchei who made yet other thingsas they are: therefore do the people of Leuke do that which iscustomary, adhering to classical tradition. Do you think upon thatalso! Then do you pick your side in this war, remembering that youside with stupidity either way. And when that happens which willhappen, do you remember how Silenus foretold to you precisely whatwould happen, a long while before it happened, because Silenus wasso old and so wise and so very disreputably drunk, and so very, verysleepy."

  "Yes, certainly, Silenus: but how will this war end?"

  "Dullness will conquer dullness: and it will not matter."

  "Ah, yes! but what will become, in all this fighting, of Jurgen?"

  "That will not matter either," said Silenus, comfortably. "Nobodywill bother about you." And with that he closed his horrible blearedeyes and went to sleep.

  So Jurgen left the old tippler, and started to leave the forestalso. "For undoubtedly all the people in Leuke are resolute to dothat which is customary," reflected Jurgen, "for the unarguablereason it is their custom, and has always been their custom. Andthey will desist from these practises when the cat eats acorns, butnot before. So it is the part of wisdom to inquire no further intothe matter. For after all, these people may be right; and certainlyI cannot go so far as to say they are wrong." Jurgen shrugged. "Butstill, at the same time--!"

  Now in returning to his cabin Jurgen heard a frightful sort ofyowling and screeching as of mad people.

  "Hail, daughter of various-formed Protogonus, thou that takest joyin mountains and battles and in the beating of the drum! Hail, thoudeceitful saviour, mother of all gods, that comest now, pleased withlong wanderings, to be propitious to us!"

  But the uproar was becoming so increasingly unpleasant that Jurgenat this point withdrew into a thicket: and thence he witnessed thepassing through the Woods of a notable procession. There werefeatures connected with this procession sufficiently unusual tocause Jurgen to vow that the desiderated moment wherein he walkedunhurt from the forest would mark the termination of his last visitthereto. Then amazement tripped up the heels of terror: for nowpassed Mother Sereda, or, as Anaitis had called her, AEsred. To-day,in place of a towel about her head, she wore a species of crown,shaped like a circlet of crumbling towers: she carried a large key,and her chariot was drawn by two lions. She was attended by howlingpersons, with shaved heads: and it was apparent that these personshad parted with possessions which Jurgen valued.

  "This is undoubtedly," said he, "a most unwholesome forest."

  Jurgen inquired about this procession, later, and from Chloris hegot information which surprised him.

  "And these are the beings who I had thought were poetic ornaments ofspeech! But what is the old lady doing in such high company?"

  He described Mother Sereda, and Chloris told him who this was. NowJurgen shook his sleek black head.

  "Behold another mystery! Yet after all, it is no concern of mine ifthe old lady elects for an additional anagram. I should be the lastperson to criticize her, inasmuch as to me she has been more thangenerous. Well, I shall preserve her friendship by the infalliblerecipe of keeping out of her way. Oh, but I shall certainly keep outof her way now that I have perceived what is done to the men whoserve her."

  And after that Jurgen and Chloris lived very pleasantly together,though Jurgen began to find his Hamadryad a trifle unperceptive, ifnot actually obtuse.

  "She does not understand me, and she does not always treat mysuperior wisdom quite respectfully. That is unfair, but it seems tobe an unavoidable feature of married life. Besides, if any woman hadever understood me she would, in self-protection, have refused tomarry me. In any case, Chloris is a dear brown plump deliciouspartridge of a da
rling: and cleverness in women is, after all, avirtue misplaced."

  And Jurgen did not return into the Woods, nor did he go down intothe city. Neither the People of the Field nor of the Wood, ofcourse, ever went within city gates. "But I would think that youwould like to see the fine sights of Pseudopolis," saysChloris,--"and that fine Queen of theirs," she added, almost asthough she spoke without premeditation.

  "Woman dear," says Jurgen, "I do not wish to appear boastful. But inEubonia, now! well, really some day we must return to my kingdom,and you shall inspect for yourself a dozen or two of my cities--Ziphand Eglington and Poissieux and Gazden and Baeremburg, at all events.And then you will concede with me that this little village ofPseudopolis, while well enough in its way--!" And Jurgen shrugged."But as for saying more!"

  "Sometimes," said Chloris, "I wonder if there is any such place asyour fine kingdom of Eubonia: for certainly it grows larger and moresplendid every time you talk of it."

  "Now can it be," asks Jurgen, more hurt than angry, "that yoususpect me of uncandid dealing and, in short, of being an impostor!"

  "Why, what does it matter? You are Jurgen," she answered, happily.

  And the man was moved as she smiled at him across the glowing queerembroidery-work at which Chloris seemed to labor interminably: hewas conscious of a tenderness for her which was oddly remorseful:and it appeared to him that if he had known lovelier women he hadcertainly found nowhere anyone more lovable than was this plump andbusy and sunny-tempered little wife of his.

  "My dear, I do not care to see Queen Helen again, and that is afact. I am contented here, with a wife befitting my station, suitedto my endowments, and infinitely excelling my deserts."

  "And do you think of that tow-headed bean-pole very often, KingJurgen?"

  "That is unfair, and you wrong me, Chloris, with these unmeritedsuspicions. It pains me to reflect, my dear, that you esteem the tiebetween us so lightly you can consider me capable of breaking iteven in thought."

  "To talk of fairness is all very well, but it is no answer to aplain question."

  Jurgen looked full at her; and he laughed. "You women are sounscrupulously practical. My dear, I have seen Queen Helen face toface. But it is you whom I love as a man customarily loves a woman."

  "That is not saying much."

  "No: for I endeavor to speak in consonance with my importance. Youforget that I have also seen Achilles."

  "But you admired Achilles! You told me so yourself."

  "I admired the perfections of Achilles, but I cordially dislike theman who possesses them. Therefore I shall keep away from both theKing and Queen of Pseudopolis."

  "Yet you will not go into the Woods, either, Jurgen--"

  "Not after what I have witnessed there," said Jurgen, with anexaggerated shudder that was not very much exaggerated.

  Now Chloris laughed, and quitted her queer embroidery in order torumple up his hair. "And you find the People of the Field soinsufferably stupid, and so uninterested by your Zorobasiuses andPtolemopiters and so on, that you keep away from them also. Ofoolish man of mine, you are determined to be neither fish nor beastnor poultry and nowhere will you ever consent to be happy."

  "It was not I who determined my nature, Chloris: and as for beinghappy, I make no complaint. Indeed, I have nothing to complain of,nowadays. So I am very well contented by my dear wife and by mymanner of living in Leuke," said Jurgen, with a sigh.