Jurgen: A Comedy of Justice

by James Branch Cabell

  49.

  Of the Compromise with Koshchei

  "Phew!" said Koshchei, in the ensuing silence: "you had better stayovernight, in any event. I really think, friend, you will be morecomfortable, just now at least, in this quiet cave."

  But Jurgen had taken up his hat. "No, I dare say I, too, had betterbe going," says Jurgen. "I thank you very heartily for your intendedkindness, sir, still I do not know but it is better as it is. And isthere anything"--Jurgen coughed delicately--"and is there anythingto pay, sir?"

  "Oh, just a trifle, first of all, for a year's maintenance of DameLisa. You see, Jurgen, that is an almighty fine shirt you arewearing: it rather appeals to me; and I fancy, from something yourwife let drop just now, it did not impress her as being quite suitedto you. So, in the interest of domesticity, suppose you ransom DameLisa with that fine shirt of yours?"

  "Why, willingly," said Jurgen, and he took off the shirt of Nessus.

  "You have worn this for some time, I understand," said Koshchei,meditatively: "and did you ever notice any inconvenience in wearingthis garment?"

  "Not that I could detect, Prince; it fitted me, and seemed toimpress everybody most favorably."

  "There!" said Koshchei; "that is what I have always contended. Tothe strong man, and to wholesome matter of fact people generally, itis a fatal irritant; but persons like you can wear the shirt ofNessus very comfortably for a long, long while, and be generallyadmired; and you end by exchanging it for your wife's society. Butnow, Jurgen, about yourself. You probably noticed that my door wasmarked Keep Out. One must have rules, you know. Often it is anuisance, but still rules are rules; and so I must tell you, Jurgen,it is not permitted any person to leave my presence unmaimed, if notactually annihilated. One really must have rules, you know."

  "You would chop off an arm? or a hand? or a whole finger? Come now,Prince, you must be joking!"

  Koshchei the Deathless was very grave as he sat there, in meditation,drumming with his long jet-black fingers upon the table-top that wascuriously inlaid with thirty pieces of silver. In the lamplight hissharp nails glittered like flame points, and the color suddenlywithdrew from his eyes, so that they showed like small white eggs.

  "But, man, how strange you are!" said Koshchei, presently; and lifeflowed back into his eyes, and Jurgen ventured the liberty ofbreathing. "Inside, I mean. Why, there is hardly anything left. Nowrules are rules, of course; but you, who are the remnant of a poet,may depart unhindered whenever you will, and I shall take nothingfrom you. For really it is necessary to draw the line somewhere."

  Jurgen meditated this clemency; and with a sick heart he seemed tounderstand. "Yes; that is probably the truth; for I have notretained the faith, nor the desire, nor the vision. Yes, that isprobably the truth. Well, at all events, Prince, I very unfeignedlyadmired each of the ladies to whom you were friendly enough topresent me, and I was greatly flattered by their offers. More thangenerous I thought them. But it really would not do for me to takeup with any one of them now. For Lisa is my wife, you see. A greatdeal has passed between us, sir, in the last ten years--And I havebeen a sore disappointment to her, in many ways--And I am used toher--"

  Then Jurgen considered, and regarded the black gentleman withmingled envy and commiseration. "Why, no, you probably would notunderstand, sir, on account of your not being, I suppose, a marriedperson. But I can assure you it is always pretty much like that."

  "I lack grounds to dispute your aphorism," observed Koshchei,"inasmuch as matrimony was certainly not included in my doom. Nonethe less, to a by-stander, the conduct of you both appearsremarkable. I could not understand, for example, just how your wifeproposed to have you keep out of her sight forever and still havesupper with her to-night; nor why she should desire to sup with sucha reprobate as she described with unbridled pungency anddisapproval."

  "Ah, but again, it is always pretty much like that, sir. And thetruth of it, Prince, is a great symbol. The truth of it is, we havelived together so long that my wife has become rather foolishly fondof me. So she is not, as one might say, quite reasonable about me.No, sir; it is the fashion of women to discard civility toward thosefor whom they suffer most willingly; and whom a woman loveth shechasteneth, after a good precedent."

  "But her talking, Jurgen, has nowhere any precedent. Why, it deafens,it appals, it submerges you in an uproarious sea of fault-finding; andin a word, you might as profitably oppose a hurricane. Yet you want herback! Now assuredly, Jurgen, I do not think very highly of your wisdom,but by your bravery I am astounded."

  "Ah, Prince, it is because I can perceive that all women are poets,though the medium they work in is not always ink. So the moment Lisais set free from what, in a manner of speaking, sir, inconsideratepersons might, in their unthinking way, refer to as the terrors ofan underground establishment that I do not for an instant doubt tobe conducted after a system which furthers the true interests ofeverybody, and so reflects vast credit upon its officials, if youwill pardon my frankness"--and Jurgen smiled ingratiatingly,--"why,at that moment Lisa's thoughts take form in very much the highdenunciatory style of Jeremiah and Amos, who were remarkably finepoets. Her concluding observations as to the Countess, inparticular, I consider to have been an example of sustainedinvective such as one rarely encounters in this degenerate age.Well, her next essay in creative composition is my supper, whichwill be an equally spirited impromptu. To-morrow she will darn andsew me an epic; and her desserts will continue to be in the richestlyric vein. Such, sir, are the poems of Lisa, all addressed to me,who came so near to gallivanting with mere queens!"

  "What, can it be that you are remorseful?" said Koshchei.

  "Oh, Prince, when I consider steadfastly the depth and the intensityof that devotion which, for so many years, has tended me, and hasendured the society of that person whom I peculiarly know to be themost tedious and irritating of companions, I stand aghast, before amiracle. And I cry, Oh, certainly a goddess! and I can think of noqueen who is fairly mentionable in the same breath. Hah, all wepoets write a deal about love: but none of us may grasp the word'sfull meaning until he reflects that this is a passion mighty enoughto induce a woman to put up with him."

  "Even so, it does not seem to induce quite thorough confidence.Jurgen, I was grieved to see that Dame Lisa evidently suspects youof running after some other woman in your wife's absence."

  "Think upon that now! And you saw for yourself how little thehandsomest of women could tempt me. Yet even Lisa's absurd notion Ican comprehend and pardon. And again, you probably would notunderstand my overlooking such a thing, sir, on account of your notbeing a married person. Nevertheless, my forgiveness also is a greatsymbol."

  Then Jurgen sighed and he shook hands, very circumspectly, withKoshchei, who made things as they are; and Jurgen started out of theoffice.

  "But I will bear you company a part of the way," says Koshchei.

  So Koshchei removed his dressing-gown, and he put on the fine lacedcoat which was hung over the back of a strange looking chair withthree legs, each of a different metal; the shirt of Nessus Koshcheifolded and put aside, saying that some day he might be able to useit somehow. And Koshchei paused before the blackboard and hescratched his head reflectively. Jurgen saw that this board wasnearly covered with figures which had not yet been added up; andthis blackboard seemed to him the most frightful thing he had facedanywhere.

  Then Koshchei came out of the cave with Jurgen, and Koshchei walkedwith Jurgen across Amneran Heath, and through Morven, in the lateevening. And Koshchei talked as they went; and a queer thing Jurgennoticed, and it was that the moon was sinking in the east, as thoughthe time were getting earlier and earlier. But Jurgen did notpresume to criticize this, in the presence of Koshchei, who madethings as they are.

  "And I manage affairs as best I can, Jurgen. But they get in afearful muddle sometimes. Eh, sirs, I have no competent assistants.I have to look out for everything, absolutely everything! And ofcourse, while in a sort of way I am infallible, mistakes will occurevery now and
then in the actual working out of plans that in theabstract are right enough. So it really does please me to hearanybody putting in a kind word for things as they are, because,between ourselves, there is a deal of dissatisfaction about. And Iwas honestly delighted, just now, to hear you speaking up for evilin the face of that rapscallion monk. So I give you thanks and manythanks, Jurgen, for your kind word."

  "'Just now!'" thinks Jurgen. He perceived that they had passed theCistercian Abbey, and were approaching Bellegarde. And it was as ina dream that Jurgen was speaking, _"Who are you, and why do youthank me?"_ asks Jurgen.

  _"My name is no great matter. But you have a kind heart, Jurgen.May your life lie free from care."_

  _"Save us from hurt and harm, friend, but I am already married_--"Then resolutely Jurgen put aside the spell that was befogging him."See here, Prince, are you beginning all over again? For I reallycannot stand any more of your benevolences."

  Koshchei smiled. "No, Jurgen, I am not beginning all over again. Fornow I have never begun, and now there is no word of truth inanything which you remember of the year just past. Now none of thesethings has ever happened."

  "But how can that be, Prince?"

  "Why should I tell you, Jurgen? Let it suffice that what I will, notonly happens, but has already happened, beyond the ancientest memoryof man and his mother. How otherwise could I be Koshchei? And sofarewell to you, poor Jurgen, to whom nothing in particular hashappened now. It is not justice I am giving you, but somethinginfinitely more acceptable to you and all your kind."

  "But, to be sure!" says Jurgen. "I fancy that nobody anywhere caresmuch for justice. So farewell to you, Prince. And at our parting Iask no more questions of you, for I perceive it is scant comfort aman gets from questioning Koshchei, who made things as they are. ButI am wondering what pleasure you get out of it all?"

  "Eh, sirs," says Koshchei, with not the most candid of smiles, "Icontemplate the spectacle with appropriate emotions."

  And so speaking, Koshchei quitted Jurgen forever.

  "Yet how may I be sure," thought Jurgen, instantly, "that this blackgentleman was really Koshchei? He said he was? Why, yes; andHorvendile to all intents told me that Horvendile was Koshchei. Aha,and what else did Horvendile say!--'This is one of the romancer'smost venerable devices that is being practised.' Why, but there wasSmoit of Glathion, also, so that this is the third time I have beenfobbed off with the explanation I was dreaming! and left with noproof, one way or the other."

  Thus Jurgen, indignantly, and then he laughed. "Why, but, of course!I may have talked face to face with Koshchei, who made all things asthey are; and again, I may not have. That is the whole point ofit--the cream, as one might say, of the jest--that I cannot ever besure. Well!"--and Jurgen shrugged here--"well, and what could I beexpected to do about it?"