by Cali MacKay
“That’s exactly why you need to let me in, Em. Whatever you’re going through, you shouldn’t have to go through it alone. But I can’t help you if you keep pushing me away.”
“This isn’t something you can help me with.” She couldn’t even look me in the eyes as she spoke, and it was fucking killing me. “And though I appreciate your concern, I need you to either let it go so we can have this one week together, or I need you to take me back to Seattle.”
I couldn’t fucking lose her. “And what happens after our week together is over? Am I supposed to just let you walk away? Because I can’t fucking do that, Em. I just can’t.”
I knotted my fingers through her hair, forcing her to look at me, refusing to let her ignore what was between us, especially when I knew she felt the same way that I did. And so I kissed her with everything that I felt, showing her my heart and baring my soul with the hope it’d be enough to help her overcome her fears.
But she pushed me away, pulling out of my arms and distancing herself as she shook her head no. “This will never work, Locke.”
“I refuse to believe that.” I’d never wanted anything—anyone—more than I wanted Emie, and there was no way in hell I was going to give up on what we had. But if I had any hope of her not walking away, then I needed to let this go. “The truth is that your past doesn’t matter to me. All I care about is moving forward, and I just want to make the most of our time together. I won’t bother you anymore. You have my word.”
I’d prove to her that, no matter what she was hiding from her past, we still had a future together. Because in the end, that was all that mattered.
I couldn’t believe I’d let Locke convince me to stick around. But he was a determined man, and I was starting to realize that there was no stopping him when his mind was set.
“Where are we going?” We were heading toward town after Locke insisted we get out of the house for a bit.
Pulling his gaze away from the road for just a second, he tossed me the most charming smile, and I swore I felt my heart melt. “On a proper date, since I want this to be about us getting to know each other—and not about the circumstances surrounding how we met.”
Yet the circumstances of our meeting were a huge issue, when everything, from the very first moment he’d laid eyes on me, was nothing but a lie—except for the fact that I was falling for him. That, unfortunately, was very real. “I don’t need to be wined and dined, Locke. Though getting to know each other better is probably a step in the right direction.”
Even if it meant telling him the truth. Because at some point, I’d have to do just that.
“It’s just dinner and a movie—unless there’s something else you’d rather do. This area is gorgeous, but things are slow in the winter, and there isn’t a whole lot happening.” He pulled onto a main road, the road becoming more populated with both homes and shops. “This place is pretty popular in the summer, but a lot of things close down in the winter months.”
“Dinner and a movie sound perfect.”
In the end, our night out was exactly that—perfect.
We had a great meal, and even though the theater only had movies that were already out on DVD, we watched a movie that neither of us had seen—not that it mattered once Locke started kissing me, the darkness of the theater affording us some privacy, even though there were only a handful of other people there.
By the time we walked out of the theater, my hand held in his, I was starting to realize just how much I missed actually living my life, instead of being lost in the pain of my grief. It had been a long time since I’d last enjoyed myself and simply forgotten that I was all alone in this world—and it was damn nice to feel normal for once.
Yet that wasn’t my reality. And letting Locke distract me from my problems would do nothing more than set me up for an even bigger fall when it came time for me to walk away from him. But he’d asked for one week, and it was a week I’d need to keep me going once I no longer had him in my life.
Each morning after breakfast, we’d go for a hike, with Bear leading the way, and then in the afternoon, we’d either spend it cuddled up on the sofa with him catching up on work as I read a book, or we’d head out on another date. We’d gone horseback riding, snowmobiling, rock climbing at an indoor gym, and back for another movie. And at night—and in the morning, or anytime we had a moment throughout the day—he’d make love to me.
Or he’d fuck me as if I was the only thing that could sustain him.
But as one day rolled into the next, I knew our time together was ticking down, and I couldn’t help but let it affect me. Which, of course, Locke noticed. Hooking my chin, he tipped my head up and leaned in to kiss me, his blue eyes lingering on my face. “What’s got you down, baby? I hate not seeing you happy.”
Unfortunately, not being happy was soon going to be a permanent state of affairs for me. “Our week’s over, Locke.”
“Not until tomorrow—and there’s nothing to keep us from being together past this one week. I know we’ve got to head back to Seattle, but…that doesn’t mean things have to come to an end.” He nipped at my bottom lip and then kissed me again, his fingers tangling in my hair as he cupped my face and kissed me like I was his everything, leaving me breathless by the time he finally pulled away. “You can’t tell me that you want this to end… You can’t tell me that you don’t feel this too.”
“I do.” But it didn’t change my reality, nor the fact that he’d hate me once he knew the truth.
Yet when he kissed me again, it was far too easy for me to push it all away and just live in the moment, pretending that we stood a chance.
Desperate to feel him inside me, I reached down between us and stroked his hard cock through the fabric of his jeans, loving how he groaned into our kiss. “Baby…say you’ll stay. I don’t want to let you go. Not even once we’re back home. I know you’re worried, but we’ve barely been together two weeks, and it’s nowhere near enough time.”
And yet, it was two weeks too long when this had all been started by my need for revenge—and two weeks too long when I now found myself having very real feelings for him.
“I don’t know if that’s possible, Locke… You have your life to live—and I…I have to get back to mine.” Because if it wasn’t Locke and his family who pushed my father to the edge, then someone else had, and justice still needed to be served.
“Or we can live our lives together. You said that you’re not married…that there’s no one else who has a claim on you—except for me, Em. You’re mine. You’ve stolen my heart, and there’s no way I can give you up.” He looked at me with such intensity and spoke with such sincerity in his voice, that I knew it was nothing but the truth for him—and for me, since his feelings only echoed my own.
But that meant there was no way any of this could continue if he didn’t know the truth.
“I swear, Locke, I wish it didn’t have to be this way. I really do. But that’s not my reality. This whole thing… It’s been a mistake from the very start.” Not that I was ready to give him up just yet. “Can we please just have this one last night together without thinking of what comes next?”
“I don’t know how we’re supposed to do that when your leaving is hanging over our heads.” He let me go, backing away and pacing the floor, his body tense as he spun back to face me. “If you’re not going to stay beyond tomorrow, then I want a fucking answer as to why. I want to know why you have to put an end to this, when it’s clear we make each other happy.”
“I wish I could tell you everything, but I can’t. I’m sorry.”
“Why the fuck not, Em?” I just didn’t get it. What the hell could be so bad that she couldn’t talk to me about it, even after nearly two weeks of being inseparable? We’d spent every waking and sleeping moment together…spent nearly two weeks fucking and making love. And now? How was I supposed to just give her up like that, when I needed a lifetime longer? “For fuck’s sake, just talk to me.”
“I’m begging
you… Just let it go.” She crossed to my side, her eyes pleading with me as she slipped her arms around my neck and went on to the tips of her toes to kiss me, my head bent to hers as I tried to live in the moment and let the rest go. “I just want to make the most of what time we have together.”
And though I tried not to give it another thought, I couldn’t shake the feeling of impending doom, like my world was going to come crashing down on me at any moment—and the fact that she still wanted to end things tomorrow certainly wasn’t helping that any. “The time we have together? You mean the next twenty-four hours before you simply walk out of my life, just the way you walked in? Well, I’m not going to let that fucking happen, Em. I can’t.”
“You’re only saying that because…you don’t know me. I’m not who you think I am. And everything…everything, from the very start, has been a lie.” Shaking her head, she backed away from me, looking panicked as her tears spilled over, and I was left trying to process her words.
What exactly had been a lie?
Yet, no matter what she had to tell me, one thing was clear. Her pain was real and gut-wrenching.
I pulled her into my arms, and with her tucked against my side, I sat us down on the sofa, doing my best to comfort her, though once again, I felt like I just couldn’t reach her. I’d avoided pressing her for any information during this past week, wanting her to just relax and see that we could be so good together. But now, it felt like we were right back where we’d started, though I hoped that she now felt like she could at least trust me.
“Em… You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. But I swear, I think you’ll feel better once you do. Nothing is ever as bad as we’ve made it out to be in our head.” I let out a ragged breath, desperate to make her see sense. “You’re not alone, Em. Let me chase your darkness away.”
“You can’t—not when you are my darkness.” She yelled out her words on a wave of rage and pain, her tears slipping down her cheeks as she shrugged out of my arms.
Her words were like a knife to my heart—and I didn’t fucking understand them. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
Before she could respond, my phone rang. Dane. Fuck…the last thing I wanted was to talk to him, but he wouldn’t be bothering me if it wasn’t something important. “I need to get this. It’s my brother.”
“Don’t. Please don’t answer it, Locke.” She sounded panicked, her eyes flicking to the phone before settling on mine, looking up at me in desperation.
I sent Dane to voicemail, and would have to get back to him later. But as I turned my attention back to Emie, I couldn’t keep my frustration from getting the better of me. “For fuck’s sake, Em…just tell me what’s going on. Tell me what you’re keeping from me.”
She squeezed her eyes shut, as if unable to even look at me. “My name…it’s Emily Douglas.”
Emily Douglas… So not Emie? My brow furrowed as I mulled the name over in my head, trying to figure out if I’d heard it before. “I’m sorry, love… But is that name supposed to mean something to me—other than it being yours?”
She scoffed, shaking her head in disbelief. “How about Clara Douglas? Ann Douglas? Clark Douglas?”
Clark Douglas. It’d been awhile, but I knew that name.
Fuck.
Why the hell would he actually remember the lives he and his family had destroyed? But then finally…there it was…a glimmer of recognition.
“Clark Douglas…he was your father?” His brow furrowed and his blue eyes darkened as he looked over at me, though I could manage was a nod, tears stinging my eyes. “Fuck…I’m so sorry, love. I heard what happened, and I can’t even imagine how hard it’s been for you.”
“That’s rich, coming from you, when you had a hand in his death.” There were so many more things on the tip of my tongue, so many things that I thought I’d say to him in this very moment. But what I hadn’t expected was to see the confusion in his face.
“Em…you’ll have to excuse me, but…I don’t understand.” He shook his head as if to clear it, his blue eyes darkening with hurt. “Do you think I had something to do with your father taking his life?”
“Not just my father’s life—but my mother’s and my sister’s too. She was fourteen, Locke. Fourteen! She didn’t even have a chance to live her life. And now she’s gone. They’re all gone, and I have no one left.” A sob stuck in my throat, but my anger swallowed it down, taking over. And when he pulled me into his arms, I lashed out, pounding my fists against his hard chest even as my tears spilled over and my sobs finally escaped.
He held onto me, ignoring my struggles and my anger with him, until I could do nothing but weep against his chest, the pain of my loss raining down on me. “I know you’re hurting, love…but I swear, I had nothing to do with what happened to your father.”
Ignoring the tears that streamed down my cheeks, I pulled away, once again angry. How could he deny what happened? And if he didn’t have anything to do with harassing my father, then why did he know him? Their paths would never have crossed otherwise. “Then if not you, your family. Or are you trying to deny that you ever harassed him? Because I know you were there. And I know you threatened him.”
“Em…” His brow furrowed, his blue eyes darkening and his gaze intense. “I’m not going to lie to you. Your father had gotten himself mixed up in a world of trouble, and I was there on behalf of my client, to try to get your father to give back the money he’d stolen. But I didn’t threaten him—I was there to help him see the reality of his situation.”
And what was my father’s reality? That he was a dead man if he didn’t pay up?
I scoffed. “Oh, well, that’s perfectly fine then.”
He shook his head, letting out a ragged sigh. “I know that still sounds like I’m a fucking asshole. And I am. But…I was only there as a messenger, to try to talk some sense into him. And once that didn’t work, my job was done. I’m not saying that I didn’t scare him. But I never laid a finger on him—and my words weren’t just some scare tactic. They were just the honest truth of what would happen if I couldn’t get him to return the money.”
“What money? There wasn’t anything there—and my father would never have stolen anything. He was a good man.” I couldn’t believe what Locke was saying. Everything out of his mouth contradicted the man I’d known, the man who’d raised me. And though we weren’t rich, we’d been comfortable. So then why the hell would my father steal money from a criminal?
“He was a good man. But you’re beating yourself up about this, when it’s not your fault. Even good men make mistakes and even good men have problems—problems they keep from their family and those they love.” Locke took my hand in his, as his words spilled over me like a newfound misery, making me question everything I’d known about my father, my life.
Had it all been a lie? Or was Locke the one lying to me now, using it as a way to push the guilt off his shoulders?
“What sort of problems?” I needed to know…needed to know if there was anything I could have done to stop him, needed to know if there were any signs I’d missed.
“Honestly? I don’t know why he’d taken the money. At the time, I suspected a gambling problem, since most people know better than to take money from the sort of man you don’t ever want to screw over.” He leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees as he looked at me, shaking his head. “And I hate to be the one to tell you, Em, but your dad wasn’t just some accountant—he was cooking the books for Munroe, who’s a well-known criminal. The only reason I got called in to make your dad see sense is because Munroe liked him and wanted to give him a chance to do the right thing.”
I shook my head no, not wanting to believe any of it. “None of this makes sense. Even if he’d gotten himself into trouble, why kill my mother and sister?”
“I really don’t know, Em… But if I had to guess, whoever threatened him next, once it was out of my hands, probably did a good job of scaring him. So much so that he worried that
his family might be forced to endure a fate worse than death. Some of the guys out there are more than capable of delivering on those types of threats. Or…maybe they forced him to do it…or set it up to look like he did it. Honestly, I really don’t know.” He shifted in his seat to face me, leaving me to try to reconcile his words and what I knew of my father with the man who’d raised me.
Some of what Locke was saying made sense, especially when it came to my father killing my mother and sister. But if it wasn’t Locke, then who? Certainly, Munroe played a part. But I doubt he got his hands dirty.
“So, Munroe was the one who sent you and his other thugs after my father?” Unless, of course, Locke was lying to me about all of this, so he could keep me thinking that he was a good guy.
“He was, but after that, I don’t know who he sent, since I’d already walked away. And though I’m assuming he was the one who kept pressing your dad, there’s also a good chance your father had other accounts he was working with. And if he stole from Munroe, then chances are good he may have skimmed from other accounts too—and criminals don’t tend to appreciate it when it’s their money being stolen.” His piercing blue eyes were still kind as ever, though I knew it’d only be a matter of time before his anger settled in and he started to question the real reason I’d shown up at his home and lied about who I was. “Did you go through your father’s things?”
I nodded, swallowing down my guilt as I told myself that I’d had every right to suspect Locke, even though I now knew that chances were good that it wasn’t him. “Yeah, I did. That was how I found your name. But…I don’t think I really knew what I was looking for. I’m sure I missed all sorts of clues.”
“And this whole thing between us… It’s been nothing but a lie, hasn’t it?”
It had started that way. But now? I didn’t have a fucking clue.
I was such a fucking idiot. She’d played me from the start—and I’d fallen for it, hook, line, and sinker. The damsel in distress. Could I possibly be any more stupid?