by Cali MacKay
Fuck me.
I couldn’t believe she’d sucked me in like that.
When my phone rang again, I sent it to voicemail, and texted my brother to let him know I was fine, knowing he’d worry if he knew who Emie really was.
It was all a lie…every word, every touch, every kiss…nothing but a manipulation to get what she wanted.
“There was no kidnapping, was there? You were never in any danger…and your memory…it’s been fine all along.” Her face said it all, breaking my heart to pieces and shattering everything I thought we were, everything I thought we had together.
Fuck. She’d lied to me about everything. And I’d been nothing but a fucking fool.
“Maybe it was wrong for me to lay the blame at your feet, but I’d done my best with the information I had—and it pointed to you and your family.” She ran her hands down her thighs, as she sucked in a ragged breath, a fresh wave of tears slipping down her cheeks. “I lost my entire family, Locke.”
“I can’t even begin to imagine, Em.” It wasn’t just that they were gone; it was the way she’d lost them. The thought of losing every bit of family I had…my brothers, my parents… I couldn’t fucking imagine going through that—and losing just my father had been hard enough. But that still didn’t explain why she’d sought me out—and more importantly, what she’d planned on doing. “But for fuck’s sake—if you wanted answers from me, you could have just asked.”
She left me torn between wanting to comfort her and being pissed off. Yet when she got to her feet, I let her, needing to put some distance between us so I could clear my head and straighten my thoughts. And I fucking hated this. I’d never felt this way about anyone before—and now I knew it was nothing more than a lie.
As I got to my feet, she turned to face me, swiping at her tears. “You’re right—I should have just asked you what I needed to know. I should have just asked you what role you’d played in my family’s deaths. But, in all fairness, I didn’t know you back then. I thought you and your family…I thought you were monsters.”
“So…what was your plan, Em? You wanted revenge? What the fuck did you have planned? What exactly were you going to do to avenge your family?” I closed in on her, my anger like molten glass in my veins, not caring that there was regret in her eyes.
“I wasn’t going to do anything. At least…not until I had more evidence. But the moment I met you, I knew I might be wrong about you…your brothers.” She shook her head, her eyes refusing to meet mine. “And the more I got to know you, the more convinced I was that this was all a mistake—that I should have never sought you out. It was why I wanted you to take me back to Seattle.”
It seemed like she was finally telling me the truth. And yet, how the fuck would I know? Everything out of her mouth had been a lie. And even worse, so had every action. I thought there was actually something real between us. But I’d been conned—and I’d eaten up every one of her lies.
“You’re fucking right. I should have taken you back.” I hated that the thought of her no longer being in my life was still killing me. Not that any part of how I felt could be trusted when it was nothing but her manipulations to get me to fall for her.
“I know what you’re thinking, Locke.” She crossed to my side, her soft curves pressing against me as I fought the urge to kiss her, despite everything. “But the way I feel about you…that was nothing but the truth.”
I knotted my fingers in her hair and pulled her head back, my muscles knotted with tension. “I fucking hate you right now, Em. You knew I was falling for you…yet you just kept playing me like the fucking idiot I am. I bet you thought it fucking hysterical that I was making a fool of myself.”
“I swear it wasn’t like that, Locke.” She tried to lean in and kiss me, but I fisted her hair and held her back. “You’re forgetting that I fell for you too. I swear, this wasn’t what I had planned.”
She tried to lean again, but I tightened my hold on her, needing to stay in control, even as she slipped her hands up my chest and around my neck, trying to pull me to her. I refused to let her manipulate me again. “What exactly did you have planned? Huh? What the fuck were you going to do to exact your revenge? Kill me? Kill my family?”
Her eyes slipped shut, tears slipping down her cheeks, as I all but shook her until she looked at me and gave me an answer. “I’d have never gone through with any of my plans. And once I got to know you…I knew it had been one giant mistake.”
I knew damn well what her plans had been. She’d have put a bullet in me, given half a chance, even if she was now rethinking things. I let go of her and took a step back, needing to put some distance between us. “Grab your things, Em. I’m taking you back home—wherever the hell that is.”
She shook her head no and grabbed at my shirt, refusing to let me go. “Please… Don’t send me away like this. I know I have to go, but…I can’t deal with you hating me.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I was taken aback by her request. She couldn’t be serious. “How the hell am I not supposed to be angry? How the hell am I not supposed to hate you when you fucking stomped on my heart?”
“Just give me this one last night together…and then I’ll go, and you’ll never see me again. I just want to try to make things right between us.” She looked up at me, and despite everything, my heart hitched and I found myself hauling her to me as I brought my mouth down on hers in a brutal kiss.
Her tongue clashed with mine, as my hurt and anger fueled my need for her, like pouring gasoline on an already burning field. I yanked her shirt up over her head and turned her around, bending her over the back of the sofa and tugging her jeans down as I freed my cock and thrust into her. “Is this what you fucking want? Is it?”
She braced herself against the sofa as I grabbed her hips and pounded into her wet cunt, her answer torn from her lips. “Yes.”
No matter what I’d thought was between us, one thing was clear as I vented my frustration and hurt into this physical act. This was no longer lovemaking—this was fucking. And I fucking hated her for lying to me, for making me care about her, for making me think that we had something special…that we might have a future together.
Pressing my chest against her back, I held her to me and bit her neck, relishing her needy scream as I picked up my pace, pounding my cock into her, even as my heart splintered into pieces with each thrust. I was so fucking close, and though I should leave her on the verge of coming and not give her any relief, I still found myself slipping my hand down past her belly to her cunt to tease her clit.
A few strokes of my fingers against her swollen clit was all it took to have her coming, screaming out my name as I continued to take her until my orgasm was crashing through me. My cock pulsed deep inside her, filling her with my cum, my head dizzy with a hundred different thoughts, all of them overwhelmed by the single idea that whatever we’d had was now over.
I pulled out of her and tucked myself in, zipping up my jeans as I left her there, bent over the sofa with my cum spilling out of her, as I tried to rein in my hurt. How the fuck could I have been so naïve? Because I didn’t just let her into my home and give her a place to stay—I’d let her into my heart, and I had a feeling she’d be a hell of a lot more difficult to evict from there.
And so I hardened myself, knowing it was the only way. “Grab your things, Emily. I’m taking you home. And then I don’t want to ever fucking see you again.”
I pulled my jeans up, feeling his cum slip out to wet my panties, as I fought off the heartbreak I was dealing with. He had every right to be angry, though it didn’t make this any easier. And the truth of the matter was I didn’t blame him. Not one bit—though that didn’t mean I wouldn’t fight him on taking me home.
I couldn’t stand the thought of him hating me, especially when he’d proven to me that he wasn’t the man I’d thought him to be. Instead of finding this coldhearted and evil person, he’d been loving, kind, and generous—until now, though I knew I had no one to b
lame but myself. And frankly, he had every reason to be angry with me.
I could barely look at him without having my tears start over once again. “If that’s what you really want, then fine…I’ll grab my things.”
“Don’t you fucking get it? What I had wanted was to continue what we’d had this past week. I wanted to get to know you better, to find a way to be together.” He shook his head, his hands clenched into fists, probably to keep from strangling me. “I wanted us to be happy, to see if there might be something more between us once we got back to Seattle. I wanted a fucking life with you, Em. Instead, I got nothing but your manipulations as you weaseled yourself into my life. You were good, though. I’ll give you that. You had me eating up your lies right from the very start. I believed every word out of your goddamn mouth.”
What the hell was I supposed to say when it was all true? “I know there’s nothing I can do that will change what’s already happened, but I’m truly sorry, Locke. I was angry and hurting, and couldn’t think past my pain. I had nothing else to live for.”
“Do you think I don’t fucking get that—especially after having my father murdered? But this wasn’t just revenge…it was deception on a level that’s fucking killing me. Because I meant it when I said I was falling for you, Em. And you fucking stomped on my heart.”
The fact that he was yelling just went to show how upset he was—a fact that didn’t go unnoticed by Bear, who’d been growing more and more anxious as we argued.
Locke knelt down by his dog, sinking his fingers in Bear’s thick hair as he murmured to him, telling him everything was okay and trying to ease his dog’s worry. It just went to show the kind of guy he truly was. And though I could easily convince myself that he was still responsible for pushing my dad over the edge, clearly it was no longer a simple matter, especially since I believed Locke had been telling me the truth.
“I’m sorry, Locke. I truly am.” There was no point in arguing with him or trying to convince him to give me another chance. I had to laugh at myself. Another chance at what? He was right. This had all been a lie—all except how I felt about him. That had been real—and I’d irreparably ruined it. “I’ll grab my things.”
He wouldn’t even look at me.
With a final glance in his direction, I headed to the bedroom and quickly packed the few things I had, fighting back the tears that wanted to escape in a flood. None of this should be affecting me the way it had, and yet the way I felt about him was real, as was my loss, knowing now that there was little chance of us ever being together.
Shaking it all off, I grabbed my bag and headed to the living room, ignoring the fact that my eyes were red from crying and my cheeks were streaked with tears. “I’m ready.”
I had to resist the urge to cross to his side and beg him to give me another chance. Yet I knew how much I’d hurt him, and after betraying his trust, that special something that we had between us was now gone. Once again, I was going to be all alone, with no one to care whether I lived or died.
I saw his eyes softened as he took me in, but it only lasted a moment, as if he’d suddenly remembered all the lies I’d told him. “Head to the car. I’ll be right behind you. I just need to grab my things.”
I walked out into the brisk cold, where the snow was still falling, dusting the world in white. It all felt so quiet and peaceful, in direct contradiction to the turmoil that was raging inside me. Yet before long, Locke was tucking Bear safely away in the back of the SUV and we got on the road, not a word spoken between us.
Time after time, I tried to find my voice…tried to tell him yet again that I was sorry, but the words just stuck in my throat, refusing to make their way to my lips, knowing it wouldn’t make one bit of difference.
But things didn’t exactly go to plan. We’d only been on the road an hour when the snow started to grow heavy as we traveled through the mountain pass.
“Fuck. We might have to turn around and wait this storm out.” His brow furrowed over his blue eyes, pinned to the road, as his hands gripped the steering wheel, though I had no doubt the tension in him was because of me, rather than the bad driving conditions. “I hadn’t even thought to check the weather. Chances are good that this is only going to get worse the farther we go. We might need to turn around, since there’s a good chance they won’t plow these roads until after they’re done clearing the freeways.”
If we were forced to turn back, this would at least give me another chance to make things right between us, even if there was little chance I’d be successful. “I’m sure the roads will be clear by tomorrow. We can always try again then—and I promise to stay out of your way. I know you don’t want anything to do with me at the moment.”
He pulled over to the side of the road and threw the car in park, before turning in his seat to face me. “Do you fucking blame me? I went out of my way to help you, Em. But you didn’t need my help, did you? No…you were never in any danger. You were just out for revenge. And to hell with the truth—to hell with the fact that you fucked with my heart.”
Despair darkened my soul, extinguishing any light, any hope that may have taken hold there when I started to fall for Locke. He now hated me, and had every right to. And I was once again completely alone with not just my misery and desolation, but a shattered heart and lost love to go with it.
A hopelessness clung to my heart, leaving me to fight off the demons that wanted me to just walk into the fire and be consumed until there was nothing left of me.
Not that there was anyone left who’d care that I was gone.
“I’m sorry, Locke. I truly am. I won’t bother you again.” Tears burn my eyes, spilling over and running down my cheeks, my heart unable to endure anymore. And so I opened the car door and stepped out into a whirlwind of blowing snow, shutting the door on Locke as he called out to me.
All I could do now was hope that Mother Nature showed me some mercy and put me out of my misery, claiming me as her own.
Fucking hell…she was going to get herself killed. I had no option but to go after her, though I swore, I’d fucking paddle her ass red for pulling this shit. I was starting to think she had some sort of death wish. First sitting out in the cold in the middle of the night, and now this.
It was all ringing too true, though I supposed losing one’s entire family would be enough to push someone over the edge and into a darkness that’d be difficult to escape, especially if they didn’t have anyone else in their life to help them through that sort of traumatic loss. And though I was still furious with her, I couldn’t just walk away from her when she was clearly heading down a dangerous path.
The truth was right before me, her desperation too obvious to ignore when she was tempting fate to take her life and put an end to her unbearable pain. My heart broke for her, despite my anger with her. She was crying out for help, and I was the only one listening.
I hopped out of the car and chased after her, the snow whipping around and hitting me in the face, practically blinding me as I grabbed her arm and pulled her to a stop. “What the hell are you doing? For fuck’s sake, Em…come back to the car before you catch your death.”
Tears streaked her red cheeks, frozen from the cold and the snow that battered her skin. “I can’t go back, Locke. It’s just me, rattling around in a house filled with ghosts and echoes of what my life had once been, before it was all blasted to smithereens by the one person who was supposed to be there to protect us.”
Fucking hell…I couldn’t imagine. Losing my father to murder had been hard enough to deal with, and had rattled me to my core. But at least I’d had my mother and brothers around, and together, we managed to pull through it. To have to go through all that alone, and to know that her father was the one who stole her mother and sister from her…no wonder it felt insurmountable to her.
I let out a weary sigh, my anger thawing—just a little. Not that I’d be letting her back into my life. “Just come back to the car with me. We’ll figure something out.”
“Why do you care? After all I’ve done to you…just let me go, Locke. I’ll manage.” She could barely look at me, leaving me feeling guilty—which was fucking ridiculous after what she’d done to me.
I steeled myself with my anger, refusing to let down my walls, even if it took all I had not to pull her into my arms. I couldn’t let her weaken me, when I knew damn well that I’d only end up even more fucked up than I already was over her. “Are you going to come back to the car under your own steam, or do I have to haul you onto my shoulder and carry you back?”
“Don’t you dare.” She glared at me, and I had to say, it was damn nice to see a bit of fire in her eyes. It was almost as if I was seeing who she really was for the first time—who she was when she wasn’t trying to con me. “Just let me go, Locke. I’ll pay you back whatever I owe you, and I’ll put my apology in writing, if that’ll make you feel better. But being around you and knowing that this thing between us is over…it’s just too hard. I have nothing left—and losing you too is killing me.”
“I’m not looking for your damn money—nor your apologies. Do you think this is easy for me? Well, it’s fucking not. Now get in the damn car before Bear chews his way through my vehicle to get to us.” Bear was barking his head off, no doubt hating that we were arguing. And at this point, I’d had enough of standing out in a fucking blizzard. I was going to give her three seconds to start moving that fine ass of hers.
Three…two…one.
I scooped her up onto my shoulder in a fireman’s hold, ignoring her screams. “I warned you, Em.”
“Put me the hell down.” She squirmed and kicked, but I just tightened my hold on her, finally stuffing her into the passenger seat.
“Stay. And if you try to run, I swear I’ll make you regret it.” I ignored her furious glare and her creative cursing, and got settled behind the wheel, throwing the car in drive and turning us around to head back the way we’d come. “You don’t get to take the easy way out of this mess, Em.”