by Cali MacKay
“It’s hard on me too. But there’s no point to any of this if you can’t trust me after what I did to you. Not that I’m blaming you…” Needing to clear my head, I started to walk away from him, when he grabbed my hand and pulled me to him. “I can’t do this, Locke. Not when things between us are hopeless.”
“I fucking hate that I’m angry, but…I can’t live like this, Em. I still want you, and that means I need to find a way to make this work. Just please…don’t push me away.” As he held me tightly to him, his eyes locking on mine, I made little effort to escape the familiar comfort and safety of his arms. “Maybe we just need to start over again.”
It felt so damn good to hear he might be willing to give us another shot. “Do you really think that will work? Do you think you can find a way to get past what I did? Because I swear, Locke, I want to believe it’ll work, but…I don’t feel like having my heart broken again. It’s taken a lot to try to get over you—not that I’ve managed it—and I don’t know that I can go through another heartbreak when I’ve yet to recover from the first.”
“The way I see it, neither one of us has much of a choice when we’re nothing but miserable when we’re apart.” He loosened his hold on me. “Look…I need to run, but just promise me you’ll think about it.”
“I can definitely do that.” I managed a smile, and for the first time in a very long time, things felt hopeful. “Just one thing…why the sudden change of heart? Last night, you said you didn’t think you’d be able to trust me again. What changed?”
“I realized that I was sulking, and if I’d been in your shoes, I’d have done the same—if not worse. Seeing you again has reminded me just how much I’ve missed you. And frankly, not having you in my life…in my bed… It fucking sucks, Em. Last night was one hell of a long night.”
“I won’t argue with you there.”
Once we’d exchanged phone numbers, in case we needed to get in touch with each other, Locke left for his meeting, and I headed out shortly after. I wouldn’t be out for long—just long enough to grab a pregnancy test. Then I’d head right back.
Getting my mind to slow was nearly impossible as I thought of what would happen if I was actually pregnant. After all I put Locke through, I didn’t know how he’d react, though I was slightly more hopeful after this morning. He seemed to want to find a way to move past what I did to him. But whether or not he’d be able to…that was another question entirely.
And what if he couldn’t forgive me? What if he wanted nothing to do with me and this baby? What if this baby just reminded him of my lies every time he looked at it?
Yet I knew that wouldn’t happen. Locke may not be able to get over what I put him through, but he wasn’t the sort of man to walk away from his child. I knew he’d be an amazing father and he’d love this child—no matter his feelings about me. And maybe a baby would help solidify the feelings we still clearly had for each other.
I headed to the nearest pharmacy and grabbed a pregnancy test, and then drove back to Locke’s place, not wanting to take a chance on being out and about. Because if my suspicions were right, then it was no longer just my life on the line, and I didn’t want to be out in the open any longer than I needed to be.
Back at the houseboat, I took the test, trying not to panic as I fought to take one breath after another. My heart skittered away, pounding inside my chest as I waited for the results—not that I needed to wait long.
Almost immediately, I could see a plus sign start to form, as if I wasn’t just pregnant, but very pregnant. An onslaught of emotions hit me, my eyes tearing up as I tried to slow my racing thoughts.
I was going to have a baby.
The darkness that had haunted me these last few years was suddenly replaced with a hope and a joy that I didn’t think I’d ever feel again. And yet it was bittersweet, knowing that my family wasn’t around for me to share this moment with…knowing that they would never get to know my child, that they wouldn’t have a chance to see it grow up, wouldn’t have a chance to be grandparents or an auntie.
Taking a deep breath, I pushed away my heartache and held onto the joy of this moment. And maybe, just maybe, this was a turning point for me. Because the last thing I’d want is to bring a child into a world of sorrow.
Now all I had to do is tell Locke, and keep my fingers crossed that it went well, though I wasn’t sure how I’d tell him, nor how he might react. I set aside the pregnancy test in my room and started heading downstairs to wait for Locke when I heard Bear bark. Crap… I hadn’t even figured out what I was going to say to him, and now he was already home.
Except that it wasn’t him at all. The first gunshot took out the lock on the door, and the second dropped Bear to the floor as he lunged at the intruders, my screams echoing in my head as I watched him go down, his painful yelps shattering my heart as I ran down the stairs to his side, ignoring the men as they barged through the door. I tried my best to shield Bear from another shot, but despite his snarls, they didn’t bother with him as they grabbed my arms and yanked me to my feet, my cries filling the room as I kicked and fought to get free, knowing that Bear needed immediate help if he had any chance of surviving.
“Locke’s going to fucking kill you for this. I swear, if his dog dies, he’ll make sure you don’t live to see morning.”
“Sweetheart, I’d worry about your own hide—not the furry mutt’s.”
“I can’t believe she’s now living with me, Dane. How screwed up is that?” I still couldn’t wrap my head around it all, though after six weeks of denying how I actually felt about Emie, I now knew that there was no point to it. No good would come from denying how I felt about her.
Dane just shook his head and laughed as we stood around his kitchen, having already wrapped up with work. “And yet you’re already less of a sulking pain in the ass, and Emie’s only been back mere hours.”
“You’re just so fucking funny.” Not that I’d expect anything less from any of my brothers. We all busted each other’s chops to keep one another honest.
Dane grabbed the pot of coffee and held it up in question, refilling my cup when I nodded. “Are you denying that there isn’t a part of you that’s happy to have her back?”
“No. There’s no point in denying any of it.” Not when I’d finally admitted to myself that I didn’t just have feelings for Emie—I was in love with her. “I just need to find a way to let my anger go. I hate that she played me. But…I get why she did it.”
“Fuck, man…look at what Ash did to get revenge for Dad’s death. He kidnapped poor Wren and forced her to marry him. It’s a fucking miracle she didn’t plant a knife in his chest while he slept. Thank fuck that turned out okay.” He shook his head with a laugh, and I couldn’t help but join him, knowing he was right about Wren and Ash. “Look, I know Emie lied to you—and that really fucking sucks. But we’ve all done a hell of a lot worse than telling lies, and given what happened to her family…I’m just saying that you should maybe cut her some slack.”
“You’re probably right.” I was starting to think that my anger with Emie was because my ego had gotten its ass kicked when I should have been able to figure out that she’d been lying to me from the start.
Yet I hadn’t.
I hadn’t had a fucking clue, too smitten to see what was right in front of me. But Dane had a point. None of us were exactly sane and logical when it came to the ones we loved, especially if they’d been hurt or threatened.
Now, I just needed to get out of my own way.
I wrapped up with my brother and headed home—and immediately knew something was wrong. My busted door—and Bear.
Fuck. He was shot, but luckily, still alive. I grabbed a nearby throw off the sofa and pressed it against his wound, as I called out to Emie.
Nothing.
I had visions of her lying in a pool of blood. It took all I had to leave Bear and rush up the stairs as I called out for her. She wasn’t in my room or the bathroom, and she wasn’t in her room. But the
re…on the dresser…a positive pregnancy test.
Emie was pregnant—and someone had taken her.
Fuck.
Pulling out my phone, I called Dane as I rushed back to Bear’s side, trying to reassure him that everything was going to be okay, even though my gut told me nothing could be further from the truth. “Bear’s been shot, and Emie…they’ve taken her.”
“Fuck, Locke. I’m on my way. I’ll be there in five.”
Dane didn’t live far, but the vet my whole family used was just down the road and Bear may not have five minutes to spare. “I’m heading to the vet—and Emie…fucking hell…I don’t even know where to start.”
“I’ll pull up the traffic cameras around your place and see if I can get an ID on the vehicle. Just hold it together. Everything will be okay. You have my word—we’ll find her, and Bear will pull through. There’s no way he’s giving up—and Emie…she’s smart. She’ll find a way to stay safe until we can get to her.”
Except that I knew damn well there was a slim chance in hell that anything would work out for the best.
I hauled Bear’s hulking body into my car, and sped down the road in record time, feeling completely helpless as they rushed him into surgery. I had no doubt he’d done all he could to protect Emie, laying his life on the line for her.
I should have never left them. I should have canceled my meeting and stayed put. Yet, this was the last thing I’d expected to happen. Not that it was any excuse. And Emie…I couldn’t believe she was pregnant. Except that it was no real surprise given the time we spent together.
Whoever did this…whoever shot my dog and took my girl—took my baby—they’d fucking pay for what they’d done. I’d make sure of it.
I left my information with the front desk at the vet’s, and told them to call me with any news at all. And though I wanted to stay, to be there for Bear, Emie needed me and I had to find her before things got even worse, and Bear wasn’t the only one in dire straits.
As I headed to my car, I called Dane to let him know to meet me back at my place. I needed my weapons—and I needed my brothers. As far as I was concerned, we were going to fucking war.
I called my oldest brother, Ash, and gave him a quick rundown, knowing he’d round up the others. The only one who’d be missing was Conor, who was currently living overseas in Ireland, since Finn had come to town for our morning meeting.
My phone rang. Emie. Except that I knew better than to expect to find her on the line—and I was right.
“We need to talk, Blackthorn.” The voice was deep and gruff, and not one I immediately recognized, even if they knew who I was. “Especially if you want your girl back.”
I wanted to reach through the phone and strangle the bastard. “Who the fuck is this? And let me make myself clear—if you harm a hair on her head, I’ll cut your body into so many pieces, they’ll never find you.”
“Easy there with the threats. I have no beef with you and your family. But your girl… She clearly can’t leave things alone, which means she’s a loose end that needs tying up. Unless, of course, you’re willing to barter for her life.” The humor in his voice only pissed me off further. “Twenty-two Rantoul Street. Unless, of course, you don’t care about her.”
Before I could say another thing, he hung up. And if I was heading to Rantoul, then that meant I was likely dealing with Stubbs. Fucking hell…
Bruno Stubbs was a sick bastard, and if there was money to be made, he didn’t care who got hurt. From moving guns to girls, not to mention a million other things that I probably didn’t even know about, he’d do whatever it took to make a profit. And that meant that Emie was now a bargaining chip for him to play with. The only good thing about that was she was worth more to him alive than dead.
I called Dane to let him know to stop searching for who had taken her. Yet his response wasn’t what I had expected. “Fuck, Locke…I think it’s more complicated than him just taking Emie because she’s been poking around. He’s been hounding me for months, trying to get me to work for him. Emie is probably just a way for him to twist my arm. Probably wouldn’t have bothered with her otherwise.”
None of this made sense. “Doing what?”
“Who the fuck knows… Hacking, no doubt.” Dane let out a frustrated sigh. “I’ll be right over. If this is what I think it is, then you’re going to need me to get Emie back.”
“The others will be here too. But beyond getting Emie back, I don’t want you getting mixed up in this, Dane. You know what Stubbs is like, and the last thing I need is for you to be indebted to him in any way.” It seemed as if, no matter how hard we tried to break away from a life that involved dealing with criminals, there was no escaping it, given our past. Circumstances…people…they kept wanting to pull us back in.
Ash, Dane, Finn, and Slater all got to my house in record time, and with an arsenal in tow, we headed to Rantoul Street, my nerves on edge as my thoughts continued to circle back to one thing.
Emie was pregnant with my baby.
Bear. I couldn’t shake the image of him lying there helpless, bleeding from a gunshot wound, his blood still staining my arms and clothing. Tears slipped down my cheeks, knowing full well that these were the same bastards who likely killed my parents, and they may have just taken another innocent life, if Bear didn’t survive his injuries. But my hurt only fueled my rage as I lashed out at my captors, fighting them with all I had.
My fist connected with one of the guys, smashing his nose as I fought to break free, but his retaliation was swift and fierce. His massive fist landed in my gut, as I doubled over and tried not to vomit, my arms crossing over my belly as my mind went to my unborn child and tears slipped down my cheeks. I couldn’t lose this child.
I was yanked forward again and dragged deeper into the warehouse, ending up in a large room with at least a dozen armed men, their gaze all turning in my direction. The goons who had a hold of me shoved me forward as I stumbled toward a middle-aged man sitting in a large leather chair, and though I felt nauseous from the punch, my anger had yet to lessen. “What the hell do you want from me?”
“The name is Stubbs, Ms. Douglas… Seems as if you don’t recognize it when someone’s done you a favor. I’d been nice enough to spare you these last few years, but you just couldn’t leave well enough alone.” Stubbs tsk-tsked me as if I was a little child who had misbehaved.
“Spare me? You mean after you murdered my family? You sick fucking bastard. My sister was only fourteen years old.” Before I could lunge forward, the guy to my right grabbed my arm and jabbed a gun into my side, though I swore if it hadn’t been for the child I was carrying, I would have risked it all for the chance to strangle the life from the bastard’s body.
“I’ll admit, your mother and sister hadn’t been part of the plan, but unfortunately, they came home before they were supposed to, and my men acted hastily and without my authority.” He shrugged with a tilt of his head. “You have my apologies—and you’ll be glad to know that those responsible for their deaths paid for their mistake with their lives. But unless you want to join them, I suggest you behave yourself. I’m sure we won’t have too long to wait, now that Blackthorn knows we have you.”
My body shook with my rage as I tried to shrug free. “And when he gets here, he’s going to put a fucking bullet in your head for shooting his dog.”
“His dog?” Stubbs’s eyes narrowed as he shifted his gaze between his men, his anger palpable as the men on either side of me let me go and took a step back. “Please fucking tell me you goddamned idiots didn’t shoot Blackthorn’s dog. Which one of you pulled the trigger?”
Clearly scared, the guy to my left didn’t hesitate a second to point the finger at the man who shot Bear, who was already backing away while trying to state his case, his voice filled with fear, despite his hulking size. “He lunged at us, Boss. He was huge. I swear, we had no choice.”
“No choice, huh?” There was a glint of silver as Stubbs pulled out a gun, and then the deaf
ening crack of a gunshot whizzed right by me and hit the man to my right just feet away, spraying me with his blood and brains as I screamed and screamed, my eyes squeezed shut, as the guy dropped to the floor, the ground shaking as he hit.
I kept my eyes squeezed shut, my entire body shaking with shock as I tried to get a hold of myself, though I failed miserably. And for the first time in my life, since all this started, I was truly scared—because it was no longer just me. I needed to protect my baby.
“Here. Sit. I’m sorry you had to see that.” Stubbs motioned for me to come to him, though I could barely breathe, let alone walk over to that murderer. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to scrub from my memory such a horrific occurrence.
The guy to my right gently grabbed my hand and helped me over to the empty chair by Stubbs’s side, my legs shaking like jelly with each step, and my body still trying to recover from the punch I took. I was forced to sit down, though I was grateful not to have to look at the dead body that was still lying there, the man’s brains scattered all over the floor.
Stubbs handed me a silk handkerchief, so I could wipe the splattered blood from my face, my hand shaking as I took it, and I did my best to clean myself up. “I’m not going to hurt you, Emily—as long as you don’t try anything stupid.”
“So…what? I’m just a pawn in your sick game? This has all been so you can get Locke to do what you want?” I hated the thought of Locke being indebted to this monster because of me, though I didn’t have much of a choice in the matter at this point.
“Don’t threaten me, Emily. And no—Locke isn’t the one I’m interested in. I have all the muscle I need. But Dane Blackthorn…he’s special, you know.” He waved a dismissing hand through the air. “Though his brothers are smart, Dane is brilliant. Wouldn’t really know it to look at him, given that he’s got the Blackthorn good looks. But it’s his mind that sets him apart.”