Front Row

by Rebekah N Bryan

  Afterward, we retreated to the restroom as usual to touch up before our next adventure. Alex, who had disappeared for a good portion of The Out of Towners' set, was almost in tears about one of her fan friends that she thought hated her.

  Shelly took a shot at consoling her. "It's OK, no one hates you. You're Alexandra! You're a legend! Let's go upstairs and have some fun with cute boys, OK?" She had said the magic words—cute boys.

  Alexandra finished fixing herself up, and Shelly and I each supported an arm of one of our drunker friends to lead up the stairs. The VIP room was far too swanky for the likes of us. The scent of incense filled my nostrils upon opening the carved double doors. The décor was pure luxury and Indian themed with rich upholstery, small stained glass windows depicting some type of gods, and golden statues of Buddha and elephants standing like people. The room was lit with sconces on the walls, ornate lamps on either end of the bar, and trios of candles grouped on each of the tables throughout the space. It looked like the type of place to house society folks in fancy dresses and sports coats drinking brandy after dinner, like they did on the Titanic. Except that tonight most of the ragamuffin fans huddled around a gilded fireplace, and some sat on the floor. They nursed colorful drinks filled to the top with ice or bottles of Bud Light. Neither of the bands had arrived yet.

  We flopped onto one of the plush couches to wait. Haley's head tilted forward as she dozed off on the couch, which prompted a bouncer to come over and warn us that she either needed to wake up, or we had to get out. I elbowed her, and she woke up just in time to see Randy float by with a swarm of fans close behind. Her eyes popped open, and she squealed. "I love Randy!"

  "Shhhhh, be cool." I drove my elbow into her side again. "We're supposed to be VIP, remember?" I reveled in the notion and would've loved to be the type of person to fit in there.

  Randy was the only Towner we saw at first, but we all migrated over to the barstool where he sat, which was covered in chocolate brown velvet and trimmed with gold pom poms. That's when I heard a loud, "Rach!" behind me. Taj and the rest of Face Rake assembled near the bar to join the party. A couple new fans rushed up to Jesse to say hi, and Will stood nearby, keeping one eye on Alexandra. I was drawn to Taj like a magnet. Before I reached his side, a teenage girl intercepted me, and I beelined to Malcolm instead, who had started a conversation with Alex.

  I only half listened to the two speak about their past relationships. Will joined us, and Alex asked him why he was single. Malcolm piled on. "Yeah, man, why aren't you married yet?"

  Will leaned one hand on the bar so that his arm touched Alex's back. "Because Alexandra hasn't said yes yet." She rolled her eyes.

  The teenager by Taj had wandered away maybe because it was past her bedtime, and I waited for him to make eye contact with me until I made my move.

  "Not a conquest," he said.

  "Ha, I should hope not. I'm pretty sure she was jail bait."

  "Yeah, but her mom was pretty hot."

  I giggled. "Thanks so much for the passes." Even though they had come from Jesse. "This is really cool up here."

  "Yeah, it is. I've never been up here before. I feel like I should be drinking a scotch while smoking a cigar and wearing a robe Hugh Hefner style. You want a drink?"

  "Sure, that would be great. Thank you. I'll have whatever you're having." If I was going to keep up with this lifestyle, I was going to have to at least think of a couple more drinks that I liked instead of being clueless all the time. He came back with a beer. Gross, but of course I would drink it anyway. I half expected him to go through with the scotch idea, not that I knew what scotch tasted like.

  "You know, I always liked that you seemed like a really normal fan," said Taj. "But I never know what to say to you. You just giggle a lot."

  I was taken aback. Had I not been under the influence of alcohol, I might've been embarrassed by that statement. But was he saying anything that wasn't true? "I know, I'm really awkward. I never know what to say at all. You're like, this funny, cute guy, and I don't want to say something stupid. So I don't say anything and giggle instead."

  "You think I'm cute, huh?"

  "Of course." There was an awkward silence that stretched on, and I took a few gulps of beer to fill the time. "I wish I could go to more of your shows."

  "Why don't you?"

  "Oh you know. School, work, responsibilities. Silly things like that."

  "That doesn't sound too fun." He noticed my still very full bottle of beer. "You don't like beer, do you?"

  I giggled before I could stop myself. "I hear it's an acquired taste."

  "Here, I'll get you something better. Come on."

  I wrapped my fingers around his upper arm so as not to lose him as we weaved to the bar through the crowd forming around Randy. I leaned on the bar counter and linked my elbow with Taj's as he ordered. His brown skin looked so appealing that I wanted to run my fingers over the veins in his arms and make his hair stand on end like he made mine, but I resisted. The idea sounded far too creepy in my head, and I didn't want it coming off that way. Two creamy shots showed up in front of us. I hesitated before I lifted the tiny glass.

  "It's not fruity, but you'll like it."

  Unlinking my arm, I picked up the shot glass, clinked it against his, and tossed it back. The liquid tasted sweet and cinnamony, and the creaminess coated my throat and stomach as it went down without the normal bite of the cheap vodka I was used to. I could handle this. I pointed to the fireplace area. "The couch has opened up. You wanna sit down? I don't know about you, but my legs are killing me from standing all night."

  "Yeah, sure."

  I took my beer bottle with me although it was lukewarm. I needed something to do with my hands. The minutes dragged on in silence as I felt his hip and thigh aligned with mine on the couch. I willed myself to think of something to say, but nothing came.

  "So, come here often?" He draped his arm around the back of the couch.

  "Don't say anything funny. I'm not supposed to be laughing." I made a gesture of zipping my lips and throwing away the key. He dug his knuckles into the fleshy part of my side between us to tickle me, and I squirmed and spilled a drop of beer on my jeans.

  "Look what you did. This is supposed to be a classy establishment, and you're slinging beer everywhere."

  I slumped back under his arm. "I'm too tired to argue. That shot made me sleepy. It probably would've helped if I had eaten dinner."

  He guided my head to his shoulder with his fingertips. As he nuzzled his cheek in my hair, his face stubble brushed my forehead. He ran his index finger over the back of my hand. "We have some cold pizza in our hotel room fridge."

  "That actually sounds good. I like cold pizza. But I don't want to ditch my friends." His finger left my hand. Damn, I'm lame. I knew what he was implying—I wasn't naive—but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

  "That's OK. I get it." I wasn't sure he did.

  "Rach!" Alex slammed her hands down on the armrest to my right. "Oh my god, Rach. We have to go. Randy and Jacob invited us bar hopping. I think Gabe's coming, too, but I don't know where he is. Rach! We gotta go. Let's go. Haley said she has to tell us something important. Let's gooooo." Might as well. It's not like I was going back to the hotel with Taj anymore.

  She pulled my arm, and I gave Taj's knee a quick squeeze before I was dragged away. "I'll email you!"

  "Definitely do that!" I thought I heard him call back.

  ***

  Where am I? One minute, I was in the bar falling asleep on Taj, and next thing I knew, I was waking up in a hotel room bed. Adorable Taj. How every word he spoke sounded like it was dripping with sarcasm. Like his favorite past time was teasing me, and mine was being teased by him. Come to think of it, maybe that shot Taj gave me was roofied. My head throbbed, and I could hear faint, muffled music coming from somewhere. I lifted the covers and was relieved to find my jeans buttoned and intact and my camisole on top. So I had taken off my shirt at some point. I rubbed my eyes, an
d as the stars cleared, I rolled over. Someone was next to me. Randy from the freakin' Towners reclined on the pillow with one leg propped up and his cell phone in front of him playing music.

  "Morning," said Mr. Perfect Randy, his hair obscuring his eyes. He wore a white tank top and jeans, but that didn't mean anything. He could've put those on this morning.

  I had a sudden flash of guilt, and Haley popped into my head. Haley, not Taj. But why? That's right. Haley had to tell us something when we left the bar. What was it? "Um, don't take this the wrong way, but did we sleep together last night?"

  Randy ran his hand through his hair and leaned on his elbow to face me. His signature chest hair was on display. "Man, I feel like I should be offended." I panicked. "But no, we didn't have sex. You were pretty gone after the dance club, and Jacob and Alex…" He paused and jutted his chin to indicate something behind me. Jacob was over the covers asleep in the other queen-sized bed with a lump next to him under the covers. "Anyway, it didn't seem right to send you away alone."

  "Wait, I went to a dance club? How awkward. I do kind of remember that." I rubbed my temples. "Did I do or say anything embarrassing last night?"

  "Um. You called me pretty at one point."

  "Ugh." I threw a pillow over my face. "I wasn't…drugged or anything, was I?"

  "What?"

  "Oh gosh, not by you! I mean, I didn't seem drugged?"

  "If by drugged, you mean beyond drunk from all those drinks we got you at the club."

  Good. So I hadn't been roofied. I got another flashback of Alex and me jerking back and forth to the pumping bass with our feet rooted to the floor. Mortifying. "Oh my gosh." My hand clapped over my mouth.

  "What?"

  "Nothing, sorry. The night is just coming back to me now." I remembered what Haley had told us, but I wasn't planning on discussing it with Mr. Handsy himself.

  Alex sat up in the other bed. "Could you guys be any

  louder?"

  "I could say the same for you two." Randy smirked.

  She gasped. "I take offense to that."

  Randy laughed and squinted his pretty blue eyes.

  "He's just being an ass." Jacob arose with his hair sticking out at every angle.

  "Morning Jacob, how'd you sleep?"

  He puffed his chest out and stretched his arms above his head. "Like a baby. You?"

  I swung my legs out of bed and fished around for my shirt and shoes. "I slept…OK."

  "Did you have fun last night?"

  "As far as I know. Thank you so much for buying all those drinks. I almost feel bad."

  "Don't feel bad. We had fun, too. It was our pleasure," said Jacob.

  In my peripheral vision, I saw Randy smirk again. We said goodbye to the guys so that they could get ready to board a plane home. Then, we rode the elevator down to the lobby and found a few Townies sitting on a couch. Did they know we were doing the walk of shame from Randy and Jacob's hotel room? My unbuttoned shirt, smudged makeup, and sizable eye bags made it obvious that we were coming off of a night of fun. I hid my face in case the girls recognized us. They looked familiar to me.

  Once in my car, I said, "OK, tell me everything."

  "What do want to know?"

  "Well." I flipped on my blinker and turned down a city street, looking for signs for I-94 toward Wisconsin. "The last thing I remember is Haley."

  "Oh my god, I completely forgot about that."

  When I left Taj last night, Haley had looked like she was in shock. Her eyes were as round as quarters. When I demanded to know what happened, Haley kept us in suspense until we were down the stairs and outside. Then she dropped the bomb on us. "Randy just, um, fingered me."

  We had all hounded her to continue. It didn't make any sense because he had been at the bar all night.

  "I don't know how it happened, but I was really tired and dizzy, so I was kind of leaning on him while he was talking to some other fans. When the two girls started talking to each other instead of him, I felt a hand go under my skirt. At first, I like screamed and looked around and pushed the creepy person's hand away, but then I looked at Randy and realized it was HIS hand. But by then some other fans were talking to him, and I thought I ruined it. When they walked away, he whispered 'happy birthday' in my ear and tried it again, and I just let it happen! I got fingered by Randy!"

  In retrospect, I was in disbelief that even innocent Haley had gotten some action from a Towner. I was so far behind. Sleeping next to Randy did not count.

  Alex had begged Haley and Shelly to come out with us, but Haley had refused. "I think I've had enough excitement for one night. I can't imagine my night getting any better."

  Alex spoke from experience when she said, "Oh, let me tell you, it can get better."

  But Haley still resisted, and she and Shelly left right when Jacob and Randy came outside. The last thing I remembered was the look on Randy's face. He was unfazed as if he hadn't had his fingers up one of my friend's hoo-has. It was a weird night, and that was only the beginning.

  Alex related the rest of the night's events to me after we stopped for doughnuts. "We hit up a couple dance clubs, at one of which Gabe met up with us, but he was in the corner most of the night with a girl. Randy and Jacob were both pretty good dancers, and they made sure our alcohol never ran out."

  "No wonder I feel like crap. So how did we end up at their hotel?"

  "They walked us back to the venue, but you kept saying how you couldn't drive yet. It got a little annoying and repetitive, but I'm glad you did it because they invited us back to their hotel to 'sober up.'" She added air quotes for the last two words. "At that point, you mumbled something and collapsed in bed. Randy kind of spooned you."

  My jaw dropped so much it almost came unhinged. "OK, I'm kind of glad I don't remember that. I would've had a nervous breakdown. And what about you and Jacob?"

  "Nothing happened." She betrayed herself with a coy little smile.

  "Randy seemed to imply that something did."

  She relented. "It was even better than last time. Last time, he was all shy about it and apologizing the whole time. This time, he took control. He picked me up and put me on the counter and just started going at it. I didn't even know he could pick me up, but I loved this more aggressive side of him. It was hot."

  "So what does this mean? Are you guys gonna start dating or something?"

  "No, I don't think so. That's not what he wants. I mean, I wouldn't say no, but I don't think that's going to happen. If we can keep doing this whenever I go to a show, I wouldn't mind that arrangement either."

  "What about Will? It seems like he's interested in you."

  She dropped her doughnut into the bag on her lap. "Will can't know any of this. He'll think I'm a slut."

  "So you like him, too?" I gulped my milk and locked my eyes on the road to prove that I wasn't too invested in her answer.

  "I do. He's not someone I'd normally go for, but I'm just drawn to him. I really want to explore more of that. I think he's someone I could really fall hard for, and he's a little more realistic than Jacob. What about you and Taj?"

  "What about me and Taj?" I kept my eyes glued on the road and maintained a straight face.

  "You two were attached at the hip last night. There's obviously something there."

  The corners of my lips curled up and gave me away. "I think it's just flirting."

  "OK, whatever you say, Rach. I think you want his bod." And with that, she sucked the doughnut's cream filling off of her thumb.

  Chapter 10: The Secret's Out

  By the time I dropped Alex off and arrived back at my apartment, the memories of the previous night had begun to fade. The details were fuzzy, and the whole thing felt like it had been a dream. I started to doubt how much of it was real. As I stripped off my camisole to change into something else, a whiff of cigarette smoke and incense filled my nostrils, and all the feelings came back to me as vivid as if it had just happened minutes ago. I experienced a delayed freakout as I re
called how I woke up that morning next to Randy's godlike presence. A great sense of aftershock hit me when I remembered what had happened before that. Randy from Towners fingered the most innocent among us, Haley, in public, in the middle of a packed bar while surrounded by his admirers. Nothing in this world could shock me more than that fact. I smiled as the next thought came into my head—Randy finger-popped my friend's cherry.

  I tugged on a T-shirt and some pajama pants and checked my email on my computer. In my inbox, I saw some study materials that reminded me I had an exam in finance the next day, a class I had attended even less frequently than business law. I had come to accept the fact that I would be retaking that class next semester. What I had not quite figured out yet was how I was going to hide that from my parents.

  My stomach jumped as I saw another bold, unread message near the top of my inbox. It was from Taj.

  Hey Rachel,

  It was too bad you couldn't stay at the bar longer last night. It cleared out pretty fast after The Out of Towners guys left, but we still had fun with the crowd that was left. Jesse was psyched to get some new fans, but Will kept asking where Alexandra was. We were a little wasted. I don't know when we're going to be back in your area or whatever, but if I could get your number, that'd be cool. I don't check my email as often, so it would be easier to get a hold of each other on the phone. Talk to you later.

  —Taj

  I overanalyzed every single word in the email before I even thought about writing him back. Even after rereading it ten times, I still couldn't tell if it was just a friendly note or something more. I typed out a careful reply that sounded as amiable as his email did.