Extra Time

by Michelle Betham

  ‘I was talking to Ronnie,’ Amber said, trying desperately to regain the composure she’d lost just now. That encounter with Ryan hadn’t exactly been a welcome one.

  Jim frowned as he looked at her. ‘You all right?’

  ‘Can people just stop asking me that? I’m getting really tired of it.’

  Jim raised his eyebrows, smiling slightly. Sometimes the old Amber found it hard to lie down and retreat. ‘Okay. No more asking how you are, I…’ He knew better than to utter the word ‘promise’ after the day she’d had, so he stopped himself from saying it. It was safer that way.

  ‘Is he in there?’ she asked, indicating the home team dressing room door.

  Jim nodded. ‘He’s dying to meet you. He’s heard a lot about you.’

  She said nothing for a second, silently composing herself to meet this man her husband had kept from her for all this time. This man he’d kept secret from the world, come to think of it, not just her. Another small stab of, she wasn’t sure she’d call it anger, but it was certainly something close to that, washed over her but she suppressed it, readying herself to do what she knew she had to do. For whose sake, though, she couldn’t quite work out. ‘Come on, then,’ she said, shaking out her hair and running her fingers through it. ‘There’s not long until kick-off and he’s gonna need to be out there soon, warming up with the rest of them.’

  ‘Listen to a manager in the making.’ Jim grinned, holding out his hand for her to take, which she ignored. Instead she pushed straight past him, walking into the dressing room.

  ‘Right then, I hope anyone left in here is decent, although it wouldn’t be anything I haven’t seen before.’ She turned her smile up full, quickly hugging Wearside Spartans’ manager Billy Bishop – another old friend of her father’s from his playing days – before she finally looked over at the young man who was now officially her stepson. And that first sight of him there, in the flesh, almost took her breath away, because she just hadn’t been ready to face what she was seeing in front of her. The pictures she’d seen of him, the images on TV, none of them had done him justice. How had nobody noticed the quite obvious resemblance between Brandon Palmer and his father? It was like looking at Jim twenty years ago and Amber could literally feel her heart start to hammer hard against her ribs as she tried to turn away, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t break the stare. In front of her stood a man with the same mouth, the same beautiful eyes, the same short dark hair her husband had once had before the flecks of grey had taken over. And nobody had noticed that?

  ‘Hi, Amber.’

  The same soft American accent. He even said her name the same way his father did.

  ‘I…’ Jesus, come on, Amber! String a bloody sentence together! She let her eyes meet his, the warm smile he was giving her making her feel slightly more relaxed now. ‘I… it’s… it’s good to finally meet you, Brandon.’ She held out her hand but he bypassed that and pulled her into his arms, enveloping her in a hug that sent a million memories rushing through her head like some kind of super-fast-forwarding replay. Memories of his father holding her all those years ago, looking just like Brandon looked now – young and handsome and full of attitude. Her all-American beautiful boy.

  ‘It’s good to meet you, too.’ Brandon grinned, folding his arms as she took a couple of steps back, reaching out for Jim’s hand in a reflex action she couldn’t control. ‘Dad never told me you were quite so beautiful.’

  ‘Jesus, Brandon, enough of the flannel,’ Billy sighed, quickly checking his watch. ‘You remind me of your dad when he was a player.’

  Jim smiled, looking down at the ground, his hand gently squeezing Amber’s. Yeah, Billy was right, Amber thought. He reminded her of Jim, too. And she should know, she’d fallen for that flannel all those years ago, hadn’t she?

  ‘I’m being serious!’ Brandon laughed, pushing a hand through his dark hair. ‘Amber, I’m sorry. Am I outta line here?’

  She shook her head. ‘No. No, of course you’re not.’

  ‘Dad’s a very lucky guy. I hope he realises that.’ His eyes met Amber’s again, only this time they held the stare just that little bit longer, making sure Amber was the first one to break it.

  ‘I realise it,’ Jim said, squeezing Amber’s hand again. ‘I know just how lucky I am, Brandon, believe me.’ He looked at Amber, reaching out to gently touch her cheek in a way so intimate it was almost as if he’d forgotten where they were. ‘You okay, baby?’

  ‘I’m fine.’ She smiled, turning back to face Brandon, inwardly composing herself, letting go of Jim’s hand as the professional inside her took over. ‘So, we have another star striker in the family, then?’

  Brandon’s grin showed no sign of subsiding. ‘Well, I’ve got a way to go before I can live up to what my father achieved, but I’m certainly gonna try.’

  ‘He’s selling himself short,’ Billy said, checking his watch again. ‘He’s hot property is this kid. And it’s time you were out there with the rest of them, Brandon. Go on, get out and warm up. Go on.’

  Brandon threw Amber one more smile before walking out of the dressing room, leaving her with the strangest feeling. A feeling she couldn’t explain. A feeling that just added to the confusion and anxiety she was already experiencing.

  ‘You sure you’re okay?’ Jim asked, gently pulling her round to look at him.

  She stared at him for a second. She was still as angry as hell with him for putting her in this situation, and that alone was making her feel uncomfortable. Confused.

  ‘Can we… can we get out of here? Just for a few minutes? We’ll come back, but… but I just need to get out of here for a little while. Is that… is that all right?’

  Jim nodded. ‘Yeah. Of course it is. Come on.’

  ‘Do you want to use my office?’ Billy asked, sensing Amber needed a bit of time to get her head around something even he knew must be quite overwhelming to take in, and having it happen in a setting that wasn’t exactly private couldn’t be making it any easier. ‘You can grab some privacy in there.’

  ‘That’d be great, thanks.’ Jim smiled at Billy, catching the set of keys he threw at him. ‘We won’t be long.’

  ‘Take as long as you need,’ Billy said, now engrossed in the notes his assistant manager had handed him.

  Jim looked at Amber again, catching the silent message she was sending him, giving her a small, reassuring smile. ‘Come on,’ he whispered. ‘Let’s go.’

  Ryan stood on the touchline, hands in his pockets, watching closely as Brandon Palmer ran out onto the pitch. He was met with a rapturous round of applause from those supporters who were already in their seats, eagerly awaiting their first glimpse of their club’s new, young signing, hoping that he was going to be the one to lift them from the mediocre into the top six. It reminded him of his own arrival back in the North East just twelve months ago. The Red Star supporters had shared that same sense of anticipation, that same feeling of hope that he could give them the success they felt they deserved, and he’d certainly helped them gain just that. Along with Jim Allen. Could his son be about to do the same for Wearside Spartans?

  Ryan watched closely as Brandon took the ball from a fellow teammate, dribbling it a short distance along the touchline not far from where Ryan was standing before inching it up onto the top of his foot, flicking it onto his knee. He could indulge in a bit of showmanship with the best of them, quite obviously, and Ryan smiled to himself as he watched him play to the crowd, nudging the ball up onto his head to a rousing round of cheers and applause. The kid had talent, there was no doubting that. But how was his appearance in Jim’s life going to affect his relationship with Amber? Ryan couldn’t help a fleeting but still slightly selfish feeling of hope wash over him – hope that it would drive a wedge between his ex-fiancée and her new husband? Yeah, why lie about it? Of course he’d love that to happen. His feelings for Amber were still strong, still very much there, and if anything happened between her and Jim then Ryan couldn’t lie and say he would
n’t be the first in line to help her through the aftermath. And if that happened then everything he’d been planning to do, those wheels he was about to set in motion, that could all change. All of it.

  ‘Remind you of anyone?’

  Ryan almost jumped out of his skin as Max appeared beside him. ‘Shit, Max! Where’d you spring from?’

  ‘The tunnel, where’d you think I came from? Daydreaming again were we? Not about the new Mrs. Allen, I hope.’

  Ryan said nothing, turning his attention back to Brandon, who was now running up and down the touchline, stopping intermittently to do a few stretches.

  ‘He likes the limelight,’ Ryan pointed out.

  ‘Yeah, well, he’s young, isn’t he? He’s in a new country, he’s just signed to a top-flight English club, not to mention the fact he’s a good-looking kid, with a famous father, who’s probably going to have his pick of the women.’

  Ryan looked at Max. ‘You don’t think he’s going to…?’

  ‘I’ve got my eye on him, Ryan. And I’m hoping the fact his dad’s only nine miles down the road will stop him from indulging too much in that stereotypical footballers’ lifestyle.’

  ‘It wouldn’t stop me,’ Ryan muttered, turning away again.

  ‘Hmm? Sorry, did you say something?’ Max asked, sliding his phone back into his pocket.

  Ryan shook his head. ‘No. Didn’t say a thing.’

  ‘Are you sure you’re all right?’ Max asked, frowning slightly, shielding his eyes from the bright, late-summer sunshine. ‘You seem a bit distant. Are you sure there’s nothing you want to talk to me about? I know you said it could wait, but…’

  ‘I’m fine,’ Ryan sighed, pushing a hand through his hair. ‘Just a bit tired, that’s all. I’m going back inside to grab a drink before kick-off.’

  ‘Ryan… Promise me you aren’t…’

  ‘Everything’s fine, Max. Okay? Everything’s fine.’ If he said that out loud enough times, might he just start to kid himself it was true? No harm in trying because, right now, that’s all he could really do.

  Kicking the door of Billy’s office shut behind her, Amber backed up against it, grabbing Jim’s shirt and pulling him towards her.

  ‘Like old times.’ She smiled, her breathing growing more laboured as the need to just do this grew more urgent.

  Jim laughed, a low, almost dirty laugh and even though Amber’s head was trying to tell her she was still angry at this man because he’d lied to her yet again – big time – her heart, and her body, needed him. Needed this. Needed something to take her mind off the surreal and confusing events of the day – by making everything just that little bit more surreal and confusing? Yeah, that was just what she needed, wasn’t it? But right now she didn’t care. All she cared about was feeling him inside her, knowing he was there. Whatever else was going on in her head, she’d deal with it later.

  ‘Old times, huh?’ Jim whispered, his mouth almost touching hers now, his breath warm on her cheek. ‘I can go for that.’

  ‘Good. That’s good,’ she breathed, sliding her hands inside his shirt, her fingers sprawling out over his naked chest, his skin warm underneath them. ‘That’s really good.’ Closing her eyes, she felt her body almost sag as his mouth lowered down onto hers, kissing her slowly, gently, his tongue sliding in between her slightly parted lips to touch hers, an action that sent her stomach dipping and her heart into overdrive.

  ‘Fuck me,’ she whispered, pulling away just a little bit, enough to create the space she needed to undress. ‘I really, really need you to fuck me.’

  ‘Here?’ Jim asked, somewhat surprised by her request. They’d never been averse to a match-day fuck in his own office over the other side of the river at Tynebridge, but another manager – a rival manager’s office? Shit! That was actually one hell of a turn-on.

  ‘Yeah.’ Amber smiled, pulling her t-shirt off over her head. ‘Right here.’

  Who was he to say no? Within seconds the necessary clothes had been discarded and there was no going back. He was hard and ready, she was wet and waiting. There was only one way this was going.

  Amber closed her eyes as he lifted her up, pushing her back against the door again as she wrapped her legs around his hips, moaning quietly as he pushed into her with a force that almost winded her; it literally took her breath away. But, in some weird and twisted kind-of way, it was almost cathartic. The last thing she’d wanted to do not ten minutes ago was even hold his hand, yet here she was, allowing him to touch her like this, allowing him deep inside her. Why was that? Why couldn’t she tell him how she really felt? How all of this had messed with her head, confused the shit out of her; made her love him even more. Yeah, go figure that one out!

  Burying her face in his hair, she clung onto him as he thrust into her, over and over again until, finally, she felt his release, felt that beautiful warmth spread out inside her as he came hard and fast, sending her body into a spasm of beautiful pain and pleasure all of her own. Jesus, he was good!

  But then, almost like the curtain coming down on one incredible encore, she felt a finality flood her body that instilled nothing but a feeling of sheer emptiness. The confusion was returning, along with the fear of what Dr. Lowry was going to tell her in the morning. It all seemed to build up within a few rushed seconds and she couldn’t stop the tears from spilling down her cheeks.

  ‘Amber, baby…’ Jim felt that pull on his heart again as he looked at her. All he wanted to do was make everything right, but how could he do that? How could he?

  ‘I’m fine,’ Amber sniffed, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, composing herself as quickly as she’d let that lapse of strength happen. ‘I’m fine.’

  ‘Amber…’

  She pulled away from him and quickly got dressed. ‘Come on. We need to get out of here. It’s gone 4 o’clock; they’ll have kicked off already.’ She turned to open the office door, not looking at Jim as she reached out to grab the handle. Not until his hand covered hers, leaving her with no choice but to turn back around and face him. ‘What the hell happened today, Jim?’

  He closed his eyes for a second, throwing his head back. ‘I will do anything I can to make sure…’

  ‘What, Jim? To make sure you don’t lie to me again? To make sure that you hide any more skeletons still left in your closet a little better than you hid this one?’

  ‘Brandon was never a skeleton in a closet, Amber.’

  ‘Wasn’t he? So why didn’t you just tell me about him? Why couldn’t you just do that? Twenty fucking years, Jim… I mean, it’s not like you didn’t have plenty of chances.’

  ‘Amber, honey…’

  ‘Look, just… just back off for a second, okay? I can’t fucking breathe right now and you standing there, telling me you want to make everything right, that you’re sorry, that it’ll never happen again…’ She looked up at him, the anger returning in spades. ‘I’ve heard it all before, don’t you see? Everything you’re doing, everything you’re saying – I’ve heard it all before.’

  ‘Baby, please, this time it’s…’

  ‘Different? This time it’s different? Is that what you were going to say?’ She let out a small, cynical laugh, turning away for a second. ‘But it isn’t different. It’ll never be different, will it? And I should have known that the second you walked back into my life. I should have known that.’

  ‘Amber, I promise…’

  ‘No, Jesus… No. I told you never to promise me anything, Jim. Don’t ever promise me anything.’

  He looked at her, her face now hard, cold, those barriers of old that she’d kept around her for so long, they were right back up now, and he’d helped put them there. His fault.

  ‘But… do you know what? Despite everything…’ Her eyes met his and once more he felt that almost painful pull on his heart. ‘Despite everything, I need you so fucking much right now, you have no idea.’

  ‘I do, Amber. I know…’

  ‘No, you don’t. You don’t know. You have no
idea, trust me.’

  She leaned back against the wall, pushing a hand through her hair again, sighing heavily. ‘I really don’t know what to do. This day, it’s just been – it’s been crazy. And we haven’t even begun to face the press and the media that are all waiting outside, something I really don’t think I’ve got the strength to cope with today. Not today.’

  He took a tentative step forward, reaching out to gently place a hand on her cheek, his thumb stroking away the remnants of the tears that were still there, damp beneath his fingers. ‘We’ll get through this,’ he whispered. ‘We’ve gotten through worse.’

  She looked at him, her stomach flipping over as she stared deep into his eyes. ‘We shouldn’t have to, though, should we? We shouldn’t have to get through anything. You could have prevented all of this from happening.’

  ‘I know. I know, and I’m…’

  She shook her head, bringing her hand up to cover his as it rested against her cheek. ‘I’m tired of hearing you say you’re sorry, Jim. I just want to move on now and deal with this as best we can. I just want to get to tomorrow, do you understand?’

  He nodded, leaning forward to gently kiss her, the taste of salt from her tears evident on her lips. ‘Let me come with you tomorrow, Amber. Please.’

  She reached out and slipped a hand round the back of his neck, pulling him down for another, longer kiss, losing herself in dreams and memories of times when all she’d known was this man. When her life had revolved around him – had anything really changed? Was this the way it was always going to be?

  ‘Is that a yes?’ Jim asked, wishing they could just stay there all afternoon, alone. Together. All of a sudden they had so much to talk about.

  It was her turn to nod, her forehead resting against his. What else could she do? She needed him. No matter what else had happened, she needed him. Simple as that.

  Chapter Ten

  ‘You should have told me, Max.’

  ‘Client confidentiality, Amber. You know how it is.’