‘Amber, sweetheart, I’m sure Jim’ll explain everything after the press conference… in fact, why don’t you…’
‘It’s okay, Freddie,’ Jim said, not moving from his position at the desk. ‘I’ve got time. I’ll talk to her now.’
‘You sure?’ Freddie asked, finally managing to give Amber’s hand a quick squeeze before she pulled it away.
Jim nodded.
‘Okay. Well, I’ll be outside,’ Freddie said, looking at Amber, but her eyes were still very much on Jim.
She waited until her father was back outside before she spoke again. ‘Was this Ryan’s idea?’
‘He wanted to come home, Amber. He wanted to be with you.’
‘Why? I mean, it’s not like we’re even a couple, we’re not together…’
‘He’s the father of your baby. Surely he deserves to be a part of that? Doesn’t he?’
She narrowed her eyes as she looked at him. ‘None of this makes any sense, Jim. Why would you pull yet more questionable strings to bring him home early? I don’t get it.’
‘Are you casting aspersions on my integrity?’
‘Jesus, Jim, come on! I thought you would have done your utmost to prevent him from having anything his own way. Again. Especially now. I just don’t understand…’
‘We all need to move on, Amber.’
For some reason, the second he’d said those words she felt a pain akin to someone sliding a sharp blade through her heart, her breath catching in her throat. ‘Yeah. I suppose we do.’
‘He wanted to come home, so I brought him home. And CD Adeje were very understanding, under the circumstances. But they’re very big on family, aren’t they? The Spanish. You more than anyone should know that, Amber. So they completely understood Ryan’s reasons for wanting to come back to the U.K.’
‘Family…? Jesus… Why didn’t you tell me this was happening, Jim?’
‘Like I said before, I assumed Ryan would have told you. It’s not up to me to keep you informed of his comings and goings anymore, is it? I would have thought, in your line of work, you’d know more than me.’
‘You’re not being fair,’ she whispered, shaking her head. ‘This… all of this is confusing enough without you making it any worse.’
Jim said nothing for a few seconds, his eyes looking straight into hers, and as much as Amber wanted to turn away, she couldn’t. She couldn’t seem to move.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said, his voice quiet, the tone of it more friendly now, less cold. ‘Look…’ He finally moved away from the desk, walking slowly over to her. ‘This has been one hell of a few months, and even though I might not show it, Amber, I still care about you. I always will, and I want you to know that.’
‘Then why do you play these games, Jim?’
He looked down at the ground, his hands still in his pockets, before his eyes met hers again. ‘If it was me… if I was in Ryan’s shoes, I’d want to be here, too. I’d want to be with you.’
She couldn’t tear her eyes away from his, every painful feeling she still carried for this man hitting her head-on.
‘You’re looking good,’ he went on, reaching out to gently touch her cheek, but she found herself backing away. What was the point in letting him get too close when she couldn’t do anything about it? It was painful enough without adding any more confusing feelings to the mix.
‘I’d better go,’ she said, her hand finding the door handle, a strange feeling of breathlessness taking over until she was back out in the corridor. Only then could she breathe again.
If he was Ryan he’d want to be with her, too – but he wasn’t, was he? And that’s what hurt the most.
Jim watched her walk out the door, closing his eyes as it slammed shut behind her, the smell of her perfume lingering in the air. His chest felt tight and his heart was beating so fast he had to quickly sit down on the arm of the sofa, pushing both hands through his hair as he threw his head back, sighing heavily.
That had been hard – that had been so hard. He hadn’t seen her in person for so long, his only glimpses of her being on the TV, and even that was difficult to cope with, seeing her there, smiling and laughing, blossoming into the popular presenter she was fast turning into.
Of course he’d pulled strings to have Ryan brought back to the North East early. But it wasn’t because he really cared about how his star striker was feeling; Amber was right on that score. He didn’t see why he should be so keen to let Ryan Fisher have his own way when his feelings were the last thing Jim was concerned about. But having him close was what Jim needed right now.
His plans had changed, his options had suddenly become clearer. It was easier to have Ryan right under his nose rather than fight to make sure he never returned to Newcastle Red Star. That would only have attracted more unwanted attention and ruined any chances Jim had of showing his young player just who was winning this game. And it certainly wasn’t Ryan.
‘Well, who’d have thought?’ Ronnie sighed, leaning back against the wall outside the main entrance of Tynebridge as he and Amber grabbed a few minutes of fresh air, away from all the commotion Ryan Fisher’s sudden reappearance back at the club was causing. ‘Can’t believe not one reporter out there had any idea he was coming home.’ He looked at Amber. ‘And you didn’t know a thing about this?’
‘I’m as surprised as you are,’ Amber said, closing her eyes and letting the unusually warm early spring sunshine wash over her face. ‘Although, right now, pissed off would describe my mood better.’
‘You haven’t told me what Jim said.’
‘That’s because I don’t want to talk about it.’
‘Is he still being a cold bastard?’
She opened one eye and looked at Ronnie out the corner of it. ‘I said I didn’t want to talk about it.’
He stared straight ahead again, watching the growing crowd of people outside, all waiting for Ryan to make his first official appearance on the steps; all of them waiting to welcome him back home.
‘I take it you haven’t seen daddy-to-be yet, then?’
‘Not to speak to, no.’
‘He looked happy. At the press conference.’
Amber said nothing. She hadn’t gone into the press conference. Her hormones were way too fragile for her to sit there and watch Ryan and Jim together; she hadn’t been sure, given the surprise events of the day, if she’d have been able to cope with that.
‘He mentioned you,’ Ronnie said, turning to look at her again.
‘I know. You told me.’
‘He looked happy because he was back home, to be with you, Amber.’
‘Will people stop saying he’s come home to be with me. That isn’t what’s happening. He wants to be close to his baby, Ronnie. Not me.’
Ronnie said nothing at first, watching her reaction, the way she couldn’t hold his gaze, her eyes darting this way and that. ‘Whatever. He’s just happy to be home, that’s all I know. And Newcastle Red Star are certainly glad to have him back. So it seems I was right about Jim Allen. He was just bluffing when he mentioned Ryan never coming back here.’
‘You think so?’ Amber raised a cynical eyebrow. ‘Never take Jim Allen at face value, Ronnie. You should know that by now.’
‘You think he’s got some kind of ulterior motive for bringing Ryan home early?’
‘I don’t know,’ she sighed, closing her eyes for another brief second, summoning up the energy to go back inside and see if she could finally find Ryan. ‘All I know is this all seems a bit weird. It doesn’t feel right.’
‘You’re just being paranoid. Maybe Jim really is just trying to move on, trying to do the right thing.’
‘I’m going back inside,’ she said, shutting that conversation down. She really wasn’t in the mood to pursue it any longer.
‘Want me to come with you?’
She couldn’t help smiling, leaning over to kiss his cheek. ‘No. You’re all right. I think I can manage.’
Walking back inside, Amber still couldn�
��t see any sign of Ryan. So, feeling like she still needed some time alone before facing him, she headed off upstairs to see if her father was still in the hospitality box he used for entertaining at Tynebridge – when he had visitors he was trying to impress, or fellow managers he wanted to get on the right side of when he needed to talk transfers. Or when he just fancied bringing some of the staff from his own club over to watch one of the big games, which is what he’d done today. But it was empty now. Everyone had obviously moved on to one of the bars within the stadium to carry on the post-match socialising there. In fact, everywhere seemed quieter, now the fuss of Ryan’s return and the match itself was over.
She walked into the box, enjoying the peace and quiet, the tranquillity being on her own brought. She hadn’t realised quite how much she’d needed these few minutes to herself, to get her head straight and think about the consequences of Ryan’s early return home.
‘Hey, beautiful.’
She swung round. ‘It’s taken you this long to find me?’
‘Things have been a bit hectic, babe. I’ve only been back in the country four hours.’
‘Forget it, Ryan. I’m too tired, and right now all I want to do is go home, have a bath, and think about an early night.’
He gently grabbed her wrist as she tried to push past him, giving her little option but to look at him. ‘I needed to be here, Amber. With you. That’s why I came back. Why I pushed for an early return.’
‘You’re not with me, though, are you?’
‘I want to be.’
‘You should have told me this was on the cards, Ryan. I really don’t need surprises like this. Not today.’
‘Is something wrong?’
‘Jesus…’ She couldn’t help but let out a cynical laugh. ‘Yes, something’s wrong. You, turning up here unannounced like the return of the prodigal fucking son… and shouldn’t you be outside, getting a hero’s welcome?’
‘I wanted to see you.’
‘That’s big of you. Three hours later than everyone else.’
‘That wasn’t my fault, Amber. You saw how crazy it was down there. I couldn’t get away, couldn’t… You weren’t in the press conference.’
‘I’m not at work, Ryan. Not today. Ronnie was covering all of that.’
‘You look… you look incredible.’
‘Well, I feel like crap.’
‘Debbie said you had an appointment with Dr. Lowry this morning.’
Amber looked up sharply, her eyes meeting his. ‘What else did she say?’
‘Nothing. Why? Has something…?’
‘No…’ She quickly tried to stub out the panic in his voice. ‘No, nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to… there’s some news, that’s all.’ This wasn’t really the way she’d wanted to tell him, but it looked like she had no other choice but to let him know about his baby boy, right here, right now. ‘I had another scan today and…’ Her eyes met his again. ‘Do you want to know the sex, Ryan? Of this baby.’
He laughed a slightly nervous laugh, pushing a hand through his dark, messed-up hair. ‘Oh, Jesus… yes. Yes, shit! Of course I do!’
Amber couldn’t help smiling. He seemed so animated all of a sudden, excited, almost. ‘We’re having a boy.’
His face broke into the widest smile, those beautiful dark blue eyes of his crinkling up at the edges, and all of a sudden Amber felt a rush of something she couldn’t explain sweep right over her.
‘A boy,’ he whispered, reaching out to touch her face, resting the palm of his hand on her cheek. ‘We’re having a boy.’
‘You’re pleased, then?’ Amber smiled, looking up into his eyes, that feeling she still couldn’t explain in no hurry to leave. And all of a sudden, neither was she.
‘Shit, Amber… I still can’t believe this is happening, but…’ He laughed again, throwing his head back and letting out a cry of excitement that was almost infectious. ‘I’m gonna be a fucking dad!’
Amber watched him, a man who, less than a year ago, had been a mess, in danger of losing it all. Was he really strong enough to cope with everything that lay ahead? Was she really ready to trust him again?
He grinned at her, and it was like some sort of invisible string was pulling her closer to him, whether she wanted to go there or not, but she put up no fight as he slipped an arm around her waist, pulling her against him. ‘You really do look incredible.’
‘You’re jetlagged.’
He raised an eyebrow. ‘From Tenerife?’
She smiled, reaching up to run her fingers through his hair, a reflex action she’d been unable to stop. ‘You don’t look all that bad yourself.’ And he didn’t. Dressed in dark jeans, a Bruce Springsteen t-shirt and black army boots, his tanned skin and those incredibly sexy tattoos on show, he looked hot as hell. And Amber couldn’t stop a stirring deep inside her, a feeling that made her stomach flip and her heart start beating way faster than she wanted it to. But did she really want him to do this to her again? Could she really go back there?
He moved closer still, his breath now warm against her cheek, his mouth almost touching hers. ‘Do you know how long I’ve waited to kiss you again?’
She rested her forehead against his, her fingers still in his hair, his hand in the small of her back, keeping her close. ‘I’m so scared, Ryan. Of all this… of you…’
‘You’re scared of me?’ he asked, letting his hand slide down, slipping it up and under her short dress, touching skin, making her break out in goose bumps. A nice, familiar feeling.
‘I’m scared of what this is. Of what’s happening. Of why it’s happening…’
His mouth was on hers before she had a chance to say anything else, his lips moving so slowly and gently against her own it sent her stomach dipping so high then low then back again that she almost lost all sense of reality. It was a kiss so deep and dirty, so unbelievably sexy that she couldn’t break away – she didn’t want to. He’d walked back into her world and given her no option but to sit up and take notice.
She slid a hand round the back of his neck, fanning her fingers out as she pushed him down, keeping the kiss going, and loving the way it felt. Tongues touching, breathing heavy, bodies moulded together as though they were the perfect fit, his erection digging into her hip; it all spelled out what Amber had feared – Ryan Fisher was back in her life, and there was nothing she could do about it. They had a connection now that could never be broken. A connection that was pushing her back towards him. Back towards a man she’d vowed never to go near again, but that’s what you got when you played with fire. She’d played just a little too close, and now she had to deal with the consequences. Whatever they turned out to be.
All she knew was that, right now, she wanted him. And all of a sudden she didn’t care where they were, that they were about to have sex in front of a huge glass window that overlooked the pitch – what did it matter? The place was empty now. All she cared about was feeling him close to her, inside her, helping her once more to forget everything Jim Allen was to her. Everything he would always be.
Lifting her up onto the table at the back of the hospitality box, Ryan slipped his hands up and under her dress, his eyes on hers as he slowly slid his fingers underneath the thin material of her panties. She raised herself up slightly, letting him slowly pull them down, throwing them aside as she pulled her dress up over her head, leaving her naked and vulnerable, but, Jesus, she felt incredibly hot! She felt like the sexiest woman alive as she spread her legs, letting him look at her first before she wrapped them around his hips, throwing her head back as he leaned over to kiss her breasts, his fingers running lightly over her nipples until they were hard and ready and waiting for his mouth to cover them. And when it did, his tongue flicking and circling, sending her stomach into spasms of never-ending somersaults, she wanted to cry out in pure ecstasy. But, instead, she bit down on her lip, stifling the pleasure she desperately wanted to voice out loud so as not to attract any unwanted attention. In a place full of media this was the last thin
g they needed to see.
She kept her eyes closed as he continued to touch her, kiss her, and she enjoyed every sensual second as he suddenly pulled her legs away from him, spreading them even wider as he sank to his haunches, his hands on her ankles keeping her legs apart. The almost painful anticipation of what he was about to do made her physically shiver, and her fingers gripped the edge of the table behind her tightly, just waiting for that second – that beautiful, sweet second – when he touched her in the most intimate way there was. And when it happened she couldn’t help but let out a moan of excruciating frustration as his tongue touched her so lightly, teasing her, his hands still gripping her ankles, keeping her legs wide apart and open, enabling him to go anywhere he wanted. And she wanted him everywhere.
‘Jesus, Ryan…’ she groaned, arching her back and pushing herself against him, her legs aching because he had them pushed so far apart, but she didn’t care, because what he was doing to her was incredible. Her skin was tingling, her thighs were on fire and her stomach was flipping about like it was on some kind of elastic bungee rope as his tongue pushed harder, deeper, his stubble tickling her, but it only intensified everything. He was close, so close to making her come, and although she didn’t want him to stop, because she’d never experienced anything like this before, she wanted to feel him inside her, properly inside her, so deep it would feel like he was taking her over. That’s what she wanted, what she needed. And he seemed to get the message, pulling away from her and standing back up, finally freeing himself so she could see his impressive erection for herself. And just the sight of it made her stomach flip over another dozen or so times, so fast she almost felt dizzy. ‘Where the hell did you learn to do that?’ Amber breathed, wrapping her legs around him again, pulling him against her.
He gave her that famous Fisher grin, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. ‘You don’t want to know.’ Placing a hand in the small of her back, he pushed her onto him, slipping inside her as though it was the most natural thing in the world to be doing right now.
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