by Olivia Evans
“I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you run back over there and hang with your friends, and I’ll come find you in a bit?” Behind her, Jared snickered. She stuck out her lip in an exaggerated pout, which honestly just annoyed the fuck out of me, before taking her drink and turning away. I grabbed her arm and pulled her back, running my hand over her ass before letting go again.
“Don’t go too far.”
She smiled then, feeling like she’d won some pathetic battle of wills by getting me to pull her back. Fuck that, I was doing what I always did now; reel ’em in enough to keep their eyes on me all night, but make it clear it would be on my terms.
As soon as she was gone, I returned my attention to my beer. Taking a big gulp, I cut my eyes to Jared, who looked like he was about to burst. He had a huge smile stretched across his face, the alcohol making his eyes glassy and cheeks red.
“What?”
“You, man. What the fuck, dude?” he chuckled. “You basically just told that girl you were going to fuck her, then sent her packing until you were ready. And she went.”
I gave him a lazy smile. The alcohol working through my system had spread a layer of haze over my eyes, like a fog swirling around me, dulling the edges and lulling me into a quiet state of relaxation.
“Well, Jared, I’ve finally figured something out,” I said, waving for the bartender to get us another round. “The shittier you treat a girl, the more she wants you.” I slammed back the shot, the liquor not even burning as it slid down my throat, my entire body pleasantly numb.
“It’s just weird, seeing you like this. Do you realize how much pussy you could have gotten the past few years if you’d been single?”
Motherfucker. I did not want to talk about that, about her. Pissed or not, I’d spent years of my life with Terri. I was going to marry her, give her everything, and it stung to have her betray me so easily. Every time I thought about what else she could have done, it was like a fucking knife in my gut, twisting from side to side before being yanked out violently.
“I know,” I answered, shrugging, my face showing no trace of the millions of emotions screaming in frustration within me.
“Uh, not to change the subject but, dude…” Jared said, his expression bewildered. “Matt’s flipped his shit.”
I tightened my hand around the beer bottle and clenched my jaw, my teeth aching from the strain. I shook my head, trying my best to keep Jared from seeing how much hearing Matt’s name affected me.
“I really don’t want to talk about Matt. I’m sure you understand.”
“I know, man, I know. But he’s gone batshit crazy over this new girl who just moved here.” He leaned closer to me. “It’s worse than when he was with Lacy. Just thought you might want to know.” Jared’s face had grown serious, his brow raised deliberately, trying to convey some underlying meaning my hazy mind wasn’t comprehending.
“Well, congratu-fucking-lations to Matt. Here’s hoping the only dick he sees her riding is his own.” I raised my beer to Jared’s before downing it in one gulp. I looked around the bar, trying to find April or Ashley or whatever the fuck her name was. It was time to go. I made eye contact with her when she stood from her chair, and I cocked my head toward the door. She leaned over the table, her skirt riding up until the bottom of her ass peeked out. She laughed and smacked one of her friends before grabbing her purse and jacket and stumbling over to me.
“Hey, baby,” she giggled, the sweet smell of her fruity drink coating her breath.
“You ready to get out of here?” I pulled her body to mine, skimming my hand up the curve of her back and around her waist until I held her breast in my palm. She let out a sigh, bringing her hands around my neck before pulling my mouth to hers. As I kissed her, our tongues rolling against each other, drunk and sloppy, a single thought ran through my head.
They’re all the fucking same.
July 28, 2015
Mom and Dad were gone when I got home this morning. It was probably for the best after what happened yesterday. My conversation with Jared was eating at me. My memories were foggy, but the conversation left me feeling bitter and pissed. Had Matt really found someone new, someone more important to him than Lacy? Did I hear that shit right? How the fuck was that fair? What the fuck did he do to deserve a second chance? Nothing. He did nothing. He didn’t deserve a second chance.
An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. ~Mohandas Gandhi
August 2015
“Anybody home?” I yelled, propping the front door open with my foot as I balanced a stack of boxes in my arms.
“Brennan!” Rachel yelled. I heard something hit the floor, followed by rapid footsteps as she ran down the hallway to the front door, her long brown hair flying behind her. She reached up and grabbed a couple boxes out of my hands, dropping them unceremoniously on the floor before grinning at me and tapping her foot.
“Well,” she said with a raised brow, her blue eyes bright. “Are you going to drop ’em, or am I going to have to knock ’em out of your hands?” I looked at the boxes on the floor. It was a good thing nothing in there was breakable. I tossed the rest of the boxes to the floor, trying to figure out what was going on, when Rachel launched herself at me.
“The fuck?” I grunted, stumbling back from the force of her weight. “Damn, Rachel, what have you been eating this summer?” I grabbed her shoulders and pushed her an arm’s length away.
“God, you’re an asshole,” she said, her eyes flashing with anger as she crossed her arms over her chest. “And I haven’t gained any weight, smartass. Maybe if you’d lifted something other than a beer bottle this summer, I wouldn’t seem so heavy.”
I groaned, running my hand over my face as I shifted away from her. “Don’t start, okay?” I was full of shit anyway. Rachel was the same petite girl she’d always been.
“Then don’t be a dick,” she retorted, her eyes narrowed. She reached up and pulled her ponytail over her shoulder, playing with the ends of her hair. “But even if you are being a dick, the offer still stands to fuck Terri up.” She bent down and grabbed a couple boxes before heading down the hall to the spare bedroom, not waiting on a response.
Full of piss and vinegar, that was how Rachel came across to most people. I’d thought she was just being standoffish, especially with her attitude toward Terri. Now I had to wonder if she was just a better judge of character than me. With a sigh, I snatched up the rest of the boxes before following her down the hall to the spare room.
Rachel had dropped the boxes on the bed and was grabbing a laundry basket when I came through the door. I set my boxes next to the others and looked around the room. The place had been a wreck the last time I’d seen it. Rachel must have worked her ass off to clean it out for me.
“You know where everything is,” she said, stopping in the doorway to look at me. “I know you’ve got a lot of shit going on right now, but I really am glad you’re here. Let me know if you need anything.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled as she disappeared down the hall. Wanting to keep busy, I opened the boxes and started dumping everything onto the bed. I hated being back in Seattle. I hated knowing there was a chance I could run into Matt, Terri, or some other asshole who would bring up what happened last May. I just wanted to get through my last year of grad school and get the hell out of Washington.
“Sup, bro,” Drew called, leaning on the doorframe.
“Just putting away the rest of my stuff.”
“Well, when you’re done, if you don’t plan on being a brooding asshole, let’s play Xbox.”
I shook my head. Between him and Rachel, it was going to be a long year.
By Friday, I was drowning in charts, reports, and every other bullshit assignment my professors could throw at me that would ultimately have nothing to do with my degree.
“Brennan!”
I threw my hand up as Jared jogged over to where I was sitting outside. Things had been pretty quiet so far, which meant I had managed to avoid seeing both Ter
ri and Matt.
“Hey, man. What’s up?” he asked, flinging his bag on top of the table.
I motioned to the papers laid out in front of me. “You see it.”
“You want to grab some lunch? I’m starving.”
“Yeah, just let me text Drew so he can meet us.”
I packed up and walked with Jared to a sandwich shop on the other side of campus. Drew was already stuffing his face when we walked through the door. After grabbing our own food, we sat down and talked about random bullshit. When the conversation moved to a party they’d gone to the night before, I stopped paying attention. My gaze drifted to the window, and I tightened my jaw when I saw Matt fucking Matthews jog to one of the tables in the grassy area across from the shop.
I dropped my sandwich, my appetite gone. I watched as he reached up and tugged the end of some girl’s ponytail, smiling. She knocked his hand away and looked back down at whatever she had on the table. I couldn’t really tell much about her since her back was to me, but by the look on Matt’s face, I was pretty sure she was the girl Jared had mentioned.
“Fuck,” Drew whispered. He was staring out the window as well. I leaned back in my chair, casually threading my fingers behind my head.
“Who’s the girl?” I asked Jared, nodding toward the window. He shook his head when his eyes landed on Matt.
“That’s the girl I told you about. The one he’s all batshit crazy about.”
“What girl?” Drew cut in. “What are you two talking about?”
“It would seem Matt’s found a replacement for Lacy,” I answered, disgusted.
Drew lifted his brows in surprise. “No shit?” He had been around when things went down with Lacy. He understood the significance of what I said. I hummed in response, cutting my eyes back to where Matt and the girl sat.
“Her name’s Skylar,” Jared said.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen her before. Freshman?” That would be something Matt would do, hook up with a freshman who was too stupid to see what a tool he was.
“Nope. Final year grad student. Transferred from the University of Texas or some shit. Her dad lives in Tacoma. I don’t know the details, but I guess she came up here to be closer to him.”
“When the fuck did you become a gossip girl?” I joked, while Drew laughed beside me.
“What he did was fucked up. I’m just letting you know what people have said about her, in case you might want to know or something.”
I furrowed my brows. “Why the fuck would I care?”
“I don’t know.” Jared shrugged. “Eye for an eye, you know. Karma and all that shit.”
My face slackened as it dawned on me what he was implying. “You think I should go after her.”
“I do.”
“Wait. Hold up. What are you two talking about now?” Drew asked, setting down the rest of his sandwich.
“I’m suggesting that Brennan give Matt a taste of his own medicine.” Jared’s face was unapologetic as he spoke. Jared was a loyal friend. He didn’t tolerate shit like what Matt had done.
Drew held up his hands in front of him. “Whoa, dude, don’t you think that’s a little fucked up? I mean, what about the girl?”
“What about her?” I asked, my mind racing as a plan started to form. “I mean, I’m not going to make her do anything she doesn’t want to. Fuck, if you think about it, I’ll be doing him the same favor he did me.”
“Exactly,” Jared added, reaching his fist out and bumping it with mine.
Drew shook his head, staring out the window. “I don’t know, man. It seems kind of messed up.”
“It is messed up,” I snapped. “It’s all kinds of messed up when your best friend fucks your girl. I know. Remember?” I tightened my jaw as the anger that lingered below the surface started to simmer. “What’s with you anyway? When did you start acting like such a pussy?”
“Don’t start shit with me,” Drew said, his voice low. “I just see disaster written all over this. And Rachel? Rachel would cut your dick off if she found out.”
“Why would she care?” Jared asked. “Doesn’t she hate Matt?”
“Yeah, she does. Terri too. But she won’t be okay with you messing with some random girl just to get back at Matt. Chicks before dicks or some shit,” Drew said with a wave of his hand.
“Well then, I suggest you don’t tell her.”
Drew groaned and scrubbed his hand over his face. “Dammit. When this blows up in your face, I didn’t know shit,” he said, standing from the table.
“Fair enough.” I stuck out my fist, knocking it with his.
“I’ve got to get to class. See you idiots later.”
We said our goodbyes to Drew then turned our attention back to Matt and the girl. Skylar. Her name was Skylar. Not that it really mattered.
“What else can you tell me about her?”
“Like I said, I don’t know all the details, just that Matt’s been hanging all over her since she showed up right after you left for the summer. Oh, and she works at that coffee shop…uh, Parnassus, the one by the art building.”
I looked back out the window to where Matt had his arm propped on the bench behind her ass, leaning toward her and laughing as she shook her head back and forth. Who was this girl who had worked up my once best friend so much that she had replaced Lacy? Was she worth it? Would he hurt as much as I did when it all came crashing down? Because it would, I had no doubt. If I’d learned anything this summer, it was that all girls were the same. They weren’t soft or weak or any other fucking misconception men had of them. They were conniving and calculating and looked out for no one but themselves.
Jared and I stood to leave just as Matt jumped up from the table and held out his hand to the girl. She stuck her hand up, letting him pull her to her feet. He leaned in to kiss her, but she turned her head, his lips hitting her cheek.
Huh. Interesting.
She grabbed her things off the table and moved toward the sidewalk, facing me for the first time. The sun reflected off the glass, making it difficult to see her face, but her hair was unmistakable. It was an unnatural shade of deep red that transitioned to blond at the bottom. Rachel had done something similar a few years ago. An ombre or some shit. Even with it in a ponytail, it was obvious her hair was really long. It was recognizable enough that if I saw her, I would know who she was.
I threw the rest of my food in the trash and left Jared to head back to my apartment. I had a lot to think about. How this would play out, what I expected to happen. But it would happen. I wouldn’t have it any other way. First thing Monday morning, I’d make a stop at Parnassus for coffee.
August 6, 2015
So, Matt really had found someone new. I saw her today. I wasn’t impressed. But he wanted her, and that was enough for me. He would feel what I felt. She was just collateral damage. Tomorrow, I would find her, and I would prove to him and everyone else that girls were all the fucking same. And then I would watch him crumble like the fucking pussy he was.
No one lies so boldly as the man who is indignant. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
Monday morning, I left thirty minutes early so I’d have time to swing by Parnassus before class. I hadn’t really thought about what I planned to do once I got there, but the image of Matt’s face when he’d see us together had me so keyed up, I couldn’t sleep. I felt like a kid on Christmas morning, except for much less appropriate reasons.
With my head down, I made my way across campus to the coffee shop. I didn’t want to run into someone I knew, not when I had something far more important to do. Stepping through the door, I looked around the small shop. Multicolored plastic chairs surrounded small wooden tables, and a large painting of an octopus hung on the back wall. I didn’t see the girl.
“What can I get you?” a dark-haired girl behind the register asked. She was smiling and flirty, and any other time I might have played along, but I was there for one reason only.
“Coffee. Black.” I pulled out my wallet and handed her a
five-dollar bill. She hesitated for a second before taking my cash and getting my change.
“Is Skylar working today?” It felt weird calling her by her name. I didn’t like it. The dark-haired girl scrunched up her face, obviously not happy I was asking about another girl. I couldn’t be bothered. If she’d been the one Matt was all over, then it’d be a different story. But she wasn’t, so she didn’t fucking matter.
“Who’s asking?” The question came from behind me and caused me to jerk in surprise. I twisted my head to see the girl I was looking for. And she’d just busted me asking about her. I took a deep breath and turned back to the counter for my cup. I grabbed my coffee and faced Skylar, casually stepping to the side and showing her the smile that made girls want to jump my dick. She gave me a strange look. I didn’t know what it meant, but it sure as fuck wasn’t the look I normally got. She moved to the front of the line, still staring at me with that same expression as she placed her order without even acknowledging the girl behind the register.
“Coffee. One sugar,” she said, sliding her money across the counter. We were locked in some weird staring contest that made me want to shift uncomfortably, but there was no way that was happening. She grabbed her coffee and stepped toward me as she took a sip. “Are you going to answer my question or just stand there like you’ve got brain damage?”
I widened my eyes for a second. What the fuck was going on? I had to get it together. “Brennan.”
“Well, Brennan,” she drawled. “What can I do for you?”
This was not how I expected our first meeting to go. She’d caught me off guard and threw me off my game. I reached up and rubbed the back of my neck, trying to appear embarrassed and shy, hoping she would chill the fuck out with her smartass mouth.