The Boy I Love

by Lynda Bellingham

  ‘Not me!’ cried Jeremy, suddenly coming back to life. ‘Ready or not, here I come,’ and he sprang up, grabbed Eddie and threw him down on the bed, pinning him against the bedhead. He searched Eddie’s face for several moments, trying to read every little tic or twitch. He looked deep into his lover’s eyes and saw himself reflected there. He was giddy with lust and every muscle was taut with anticipation.

  ‘I love you, Eddie,’ he said very slowly, then lowered himself down and found Eddie’s mouth for a deep kiss that took him away to paradise.

  Chapter 33

  Sunday was indeed a day of rest for our two young lovers. They missed breakfast and lunch, and finally opened an eye around two o’clock. Several glasses of juice and two pots of coffee later, Eddie announced that they should go for a walk.

  ‘It’s cold out there,’ grumbled Jeremy, still snuggled under the sheets.

  ‘But it is not raining, and the sun is visible. Come on, you wuss, get your kit on. I want to take you by the canal, and then I thought we could have an early dinner at an amazing Chinese restaurant I know called the Mandarin. It is incredibly famous in these parts and has been going for years.’

  Jeremy really had no say in the matter and decided to succumb to whatever Eddie had in mind. His brain no longer seemed to function on a practical level any more. It was all about sensations and emotional highs, and living every moment with this incredible boy. Jeremy felt so old compared with Eddie, and yet there was only two years between them. Eddie, however, seemed to have lived more lifetimes in those two years than Jeremy would ever do in twenty.

  The boys set off in their winter woollies and walked briskly along the canal. It was pretty bleak even with the sun shining on the dark water, but Eddie seemed to love it.

  ‘I reckon this will be very popular one day,’ he said. ‘The old warehouses and cottages will all get gentrified – you just wait and see.’ By five it was dark, and they made their way into the centre of Manchester to the Chinese restaurant, which was packed already even at this early hour.

  ‘Everyone here is Chinese!’ exclaimed Jeremy.

  ‘Exactly,’ replied Eddie with a grin.

  The menu was extensive and Jeremy lost the will to live just trying to read it, so once again he put himself into the capable hands of his lover. Eddie went to town and they really had trouble finishing the banquet, especially when it came to the chicken feet – a ‘speciality of the house’.

  ‘Oh, Eddie, this is really stuck in my craw,’ groaned Jeremy, practically gagging. ‘I can’t eat it, I am sorry,’ and he virtually spat it out into his napkin.

  ‘I must say, you do look rather purple,’ chuckled Eddie. ‘Don’t want to kill you off so soon in the relationship. Come on, let’s go grab a taxi to the hotel and have a cocktail.’

  By the time they got back, Jeremy was so full of Chinese he just wanted to lie down and go to sleep.

  ‘Oh, don’t be such an old misery guts,’ retorted Eddie. ‘Get in the shower and you will soon feel like a new man.’

  Jeremy did as he was told and stood for a good ten minutes letting the hot water caress his back and shoulders. He suddenly called out to Eddie, ‘You are right, I do feel like a new man. Got anyone in mind?!’

  The next thing he knew, he was being scrubbed with a loofah and Eddie was whispering in his ear, ‘Haven’t got any new men, but this one has plenty of wear left in him, so shut up and enjoy!’

  Later, they strolled into the bar feeling on top of their game. As per usual the bar was full to bursting, and the conversation as loud and shrill as ever. Eddie waved to George, who was holding court at a big centre table. They decided to sit at the bar for a while and ordered champagne cocktails.

  ‘Oh, this is slipping down a treat,’ said Jeremy. ‘Please order me another immediately.’ He leaned across and was about to plant a kiss on Eddie’s cheek when a familiar voice stopped him in his tracks.

  ‘Well, well, what do we have here, love’s young dream? I didn’t think you had it in you, Jeremy. I was obviously completely wrong.’

  Jeremy turned to look up from his bar stool into the amused eyes of Robert Johnson.

  ‘Robert! What a surprise. This is my friend Edward. Eddie, this is Robert Johnson our assistant director.’

  ‘Hi, would you like a drink, Robert?’ asked Eddie innocently enough.

  ‘No, I am fine, thanks. I am joining some friends here in a minute. Actually, Jeremy, I am joining Giles and his friend Lord Graham.’ He had turned to Eddie as he said this. Eddie kept his cool but Jeremy just froze. ‘Do you know Lord Graham, Edward?’ asked Robert, pointedly holding the boy’s gaze.

  ‘I should do,’ replied Eddie. ‘He is my father. Can’t think what he would be doing here of all places.’

  ‘I am sure he would be saying exactly the same about your presence here, don’t you think?’ taunted Robert.

  ‘In that case, maybe it’s a good idea we keep this meeting to ourselves. Come on, Jeremy, we were just going anyway. We only stopped by for a quick drink, looking for an actor friend of Jeremy’s.’

  Jeremy rose and squeezed past Robert, who was standing very close to both of them.

  ‘Sorry, excuse me,’ he stuttered. ‘See you tomorrow at the read through.’

  Robert’s smile was practically reptilian. ‘You certainly will, my dear. Enjoy the rest of your evening. A pleasure to meet you, Edward,’ he called back over his shoulder – and then he was gone.

  Once back in their room, Jeremy and Eddie discussed the seriousness of their situation.

  ‘We haven’t done anything wrong, for God’s sake. We are both over age, and why shouldn’t we be having a drink here. Doesn’t mean we are queer necessarily?’ suggested Eddie.

  ‘Oh come on, Ed. Did you see a single straight man in that room? I don’t really mind because no one will care what I get up to, but you are a different matter. Your father will go mad if he discovers his son and heir is a homosexual.’

  Eddie thought about this for a few minutes. ‘Yes, you are right. But then what was my father doing there?’ he added.

  ‘I suppose Giles must have suggested they come here and your father’s curiosity got the better of him. You said he is fairly relaxed about the queer thing, and maybe he wanted to see a bit of the life for himself.’

  ‘Suppose so,’ pondered Eddie, but he did not sound convinced. ‘However, it’s not a conversation I want to pursue at this point in time, so let’s hope Robert keeps his mouth shut.’

  ‘I wouldn’t bank on it,’ said Jeremy. ‘He is a weird one and very difficult to read. He was quite pleasant to me at the beginning of the season but has cooled off since it became clear I did not fancy him. Having said that, he never really comes on to anybody too strongly, and he spends quite a lot of time flirting with the girls, so maybe he is playing a game all round. He definitely has Giles’s ear though. Not quite sure why yet. Maybe when we see what he does as a director on Hamlet with Giles, we will spot the talent. Who knows? I will keep a very close eye on him in future. That’s all we can do for now. Come on, let’s watch some TV. I am knackered, and tomorrow is a big day for me.’

  ‘Ah, my poor baby. OK, we will chill tonight, and you can show me your version of “An Actor Prepares” – as long as it involves lots of sex!’

  The weekend ended perfectly for Jeremy on Sunday night with, indeed, not much sleep but lots of lovemaking.

  ‘This has to last me a while,’ he murmured to Eddie as they started to drift into blissful sleep. ‘Good night, you beautiful man.’

  Eddie turned and kissed him on the forehead. ‘Sleep, perchance to dream . . .’

  The next morning they ate a huge cooked breakfast in rather a subdued mode.

  ‘Will you be around at all this week?’ asked Eddie.

  ‘I doubt it very much. Rehearsals will be full on because there is a hell of a lot to get through. Mind you, after I am killed there may be some time. But don’t worry – I will ring you whenever I can.’ Jeremy smiled across
the table.

  ‘Well, just remember I will mostly be out in the middle of nowhere on a bloody tractor. Best time to get me is before seven or after five. But then you are onstage. Shall I call you at your digs around eleven?’ Eddie suggested.

  ‘Yes, that might be best. Oh Eddie, this has been so wonderful I don’t want it to end.’ Jeremy took Eddie’s hand across the table.

  ‘Don’t fret, there will be many more weekends – and even better than this,’ Eddie promised, squeezing his lover’s hand. ‘But come now, we must get you back to the state of Denmark, where something is rotten and where princes come from. You have battles to fight, my love.’

  Chapter 34

  ‘We have battles to fight, literally and figuratively,’ announced Giles after lunch. ‘So I would like Rupert, Jeremy, Simon and Pete to go with Robert to practise sword-fights next door. Isabelle and Sally, we will make a start on all Ophelia’s scenes, and Charmaine, Percy and Geoffrey – please be standing by to do your scenes. I am sorry if there is a bit of a wait, but it would be good just to run through what we are going to do with Polonius, and the whole ghost scenario. Everyone else, please do not wander far from the theatre as Gwendoline will want to do some fittings. It is going to be a very difficult show from the point of view of costumes, as many of you are doubling up in parts. I may have to employ one extra actor to play the ghost and cover. Still, that’s enough to be getting on with for now, so off you go.’

  Sally gathered her script and made her way down into the stalls to sit with Giles, but he had decided to stay onstage as Isabelle was already starting to cause concern with her nerves.

  ‘I feel so vulnerable, Giles. The stage seems vast at the moment and I am worried I will not be able to fill it.’ She was clutching her script tightly to herself and puffing on the inevitable fag.

  ‘That’s OK, darling, we have plenty of time. Sally and I will join you, do not worry.’

  The three of them sat in a huddle and started to work through the dialogue. It was painfully obvious, after only a few minutes, that Isabelle did not have a clue what she was saying, or indeed what any of the play was about. Sally’s heart sank as she envisaged days spent with their leading lady giving her instruction on Shakespeare and his dialogue. Thank God she herself had learned the part already.

  In the coming days it became very apparent to everyone that Giles was right: the production was going to be incredibly complicated with so many people doubling up as courtiers and small characters who came and went. Simon and Pete were hysterical, standing in the wardrobe with Gwendoline and Janie trying to fit them.

  ‘Why don’t we just wear different hats, or wigs?’ joked Simon. ‘Why, look yonder, sirrah! Behold, there is the watchman in his pink hat!’ He then pulled on another hat from the pile in front of them. ‘Nay, sir, this is not your hat. This belongeth to old Yorick, methinks.’

  Pete by this time had pulled on a long robe and answered in a falsetto voice, ‘Oh dearie me, alas alack, poor Yorick is long gone. But looketh over there, I see a ghost naked. What? Is it come to this? A naked ghost? Bringeth me the wardrobe mistress that she may see the error of her ways!’

  By this time they were all laughing so much they did not see Robert watching from the doorway.

  ‘I am glad you are all so confident about your performances that you can afford to stand around making jokes. Simon and Peter, I want you onstage in five minutes to go through the fight scene.’ He turned on his heel and left the room.

  ‘Oops!’ said Pete.

  Sally was in a complete panic. She had had no idea how much work would be involved in setting up the Dumb Show with such a shortage of actors. In fact, she was forced to take some theatrical licence and have ladies playing men. She even had to put herself in the piece, which meant having to learn a huge speech. This did not last long, however, as she was wanted almost all the time to rehearse with Rupert. Isabelle was proving a complete nightmare. She could not seem to learn the lines at all. Rupert was having trouble going through each scene as they had to stop all the time, so he too was starting to panic, and relied more and more on Sally to provide his lines. At one point they were in the ridiculous position of Rupert and Sally rehearsing in one room, and Giles and Isabelle in another so that Giles could help the girl learn the lines as she went along. Truth be known, Sally was in seventh heaven; she loved every minute of her time with Rupert. He was so giving as an actor and warm and affectionate that by the end of the first week, she was truly smitten. But it was not to last. Giles called her into his office on Saturday morning and said, ‘Sally, you are going to have to put Dora on the book with Rupert and get on with your Dumb Show. I need to know that that is one thing that is sorted.’

  Sally was gutted. ‘But I can do both,’ she pleaded. ‘I can get Dora on the case, and I have been thinking that she will have to do my big speech anyway, as I am tied up with Rupert and his scenes.’

  ‘Sally, you are not tied up at all. May I remind you that Isabelle is playing Ophelia, and will shortly be taking her rightful position opposite her leading man. She has come on in leaps and bounds and I have to say, with no disrespect to you at all, that when Rupert and she are together, the chemistry is phenomenal. Now, please can you call Dora to the stage.’

  Sally had to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill down her cheeks. She knew Giles was right, and she was only the understudy, but it still hurt that all her hard work was dismissed in a minute. Bloody Isabelle would step in, and thanks to everyone around her, holding her up and supporting her, she would come out of this with glory. She started to run up the stairs to the dressing room to have a good cry.

  ‘Sally, are you OK?’ asked Rupert as he came down the stairs towards her.

  Oh God, no, this is all I need, thought Sally. Please leave me alone.

  ‘Are we not going through the scene again?’ he went on, unaware of any problems.

  ‘Yes, I think you are going to do it with Isabelle. I need to get to my rehearsal for the Dumb Show. Sorry, Rupert, I must dash.’ Sally tried to ease past him but he took her arms and stopped her.

  ‘What’s wrong? You are crying. Here, have a tissue.’ He produced one like magic and gave it to her.

  ‘I am so sorry, Rupert, you shouldn’t have to concern yourself with me. You have enough going on in your life. It’s just all getting to me, I guess. There is so much to do and not enough time. Please don’t worry, just concentrate on your role.’

  ‘Well, I was hoping you might have me round to your place tonight so we could consolidate everything we have worked on, and then I can introduce Isabelle to the scenes tomorrow.’

  Sally sighed. She could not think of anything more perfect, but it was not to be.

  ‘I think Giles wants to do that now, Rupert. But find me later if you have any problems.’ She pulled away and ran upstairs.

  Sally spent the rest of the day gathering her cast together and nailing the Dumb Show. She was determined to sort it out and get back to Rupert and Ophelia. A nagging voice inside her was pointing out that she was not giving her Dumb Show the attention it required. The whole project had been so exciting at the beginning, and her debut as a director had fired her up. Now, however, all she wanted to do was get it over with so she could return to the intimacy of the rehearsal room and Rupert. She had put Dora in her role, but soon realized that it did not work, as her sister just did not have the vocal ability to hold the speech together. She herself would have to do it. She reluctantly told Dora to go off and join Rupert and Giles.

  ‘Oh my God! This is brilliant,’ enthused the other girl. ‘I can’t wait to work with Rupert – he is so gorgeous. Maybe Isabelle will be taken off, and I will be there to take over. I must make sure I know the part inside out. You will have to help me, Sally.’

  ‘I will do no such thing,’ her sister retorted angrily. ‘I am the official understudy, and if Isabelle was off I would take over. Just remember, Dora, you are only filling in for me while I sort out the Dumb Show, then
I will take over again. You are just there to read the lines, thank you, so don’t get any ideas above your station.’

  ‘Ooh sorreee!’ mocked Dora. ‘Talk about getting on your high horse.’ And she flounced off.

  Sally went to find Jeremy as much for moral support as for his input into the Dumb Show.

  ‘Now calm down and let’s go through this slowly,’ he said wisely. ‘You are short of actors, are you not? Well, I had a thought this morning while chatting to the redoubtable Peggy. She would be perfect as the Player Queen. Let’s face it, she may be getting on in years but her voice is very youthful, and one won’t see the rest of her because she will have the mask on. Then you have got me as the Player King, so that will all work. You have Sarah and Dora – and even Robert if needs be. You will have to be First Player, and if you did have to cover Isabelle, then I guess I could learn the bloody speech.’

  Sally gave her friend a grateful hug. ‘I knew I could rely on you. Thanks so much, Jeremy – that is perfect. So can we rehearse now, do you think, or what about I cook lunch on Sunday and you come round and we go through all the speeches, and then I can put everyone else in next week, as and when they are free?’

  ‘Ah now, weekends are going to be a problem from now on, I am afraid,’ said Jeremy, looking sheepish. ‘I will be seeing Eddie every weekend so will not be around.’

  Sally looked at him. ‘Wow, is it that serious? You have only known him a few weeks. Don’t you think you should take things slowly?’

  ‘No, I really don’t,’ he replied. ‘This amazing thing has happened to me, Sally, and I am going to run with it. We are in love and I have found my soulmate. Nothing else matters.’

  ‘What about your acting?’ asked Sally carefully, remembering all their late-night discussions about their career prospects.

  ‘What about it? As you said, it can only help me as an actor to have experience of these incredible emotions I am going through just now.’

  ‘Yes, I can see that,’ she agreed, ‘but won’t you feel the pressure of work if you are out gadding about all weekend? You were certainly in no fit state last week after your time off. I just don’t want you to screw up this part, Jeremy. You have been longing for this job, so don’t blow it because you are too exhausted to give it your best shot. Remember, all the agents are coming, and the producer of Isabelle’s film and God knows who else. This is the moment you have been waiting for. We both have,’ she added, suddenly reminded that she too had been working towards this production and now found herself pulled in all directions.