Lyfe Changing

by Desirae Williams

  “I don’t know.” I teased a little. “Please…” He said gently touching my hand. “I have a good feeling about you and I want to take you out.” Oh my God, I melted. Should I go? I mean he is gorgeous, good job, very sexy, the type of man you don’t see every day. Still I don’t know…I’m not sure. I sighed to myself.

  C’mon Des your thirty five, you’re not getting any younger, it’s time to jump on it before your eggs dry up and you hit menopause. I looked back at him and smiled. “Yes… I would love to.” James grinned widely, showing me those gleaming white teeth again.

  “Good…I’ll pick you up at eight?”

  “Yes… eight will be fine.”

  “Great… I’m looking forward to it Destiny.”

  I watched James Ryan exit the building and I wondered could he be the answer to all my prayers. “If you want my advice I say go for it.” I heard Marisol’s perky voice say from behind me. I chuckled a little and just shook my head. Ok Mr. James Ryan…I’m going to go for it.

  Derrick

  Whew! I managed to make it to my son’s party in a timely matter. After dropping Trina off on the corner of her building, I hauled ass over to Amari’s place, leaving Trina giving me the finger and cursing my God given name…it’s all good though, she’ll forgive me later. I managed to scoop up my baby boy something nice for his birthday on the way there…something I knew he would love. As I parked in the driveway I could hear music blasting and people scurrying around. I figured it was the kids playing in the backyard. I made my way into the back of Amari’s house, which was not that far from my own.

  “Hey…where my babies at?” I said arms extended it. I easily spotted my kids as they ran towards me. “Daddy!” they yelled. I grabbed all of them in my arms, hugging and kissing them like we haven’t seen each other in months. You could easily tell they all were mine, with their light orange tinted skin and jet black curly hair. I couldn’t even deny it brought me great joy to see each of my kids together. “Well it’s about damn time.”

  I heard Kim’s nagging ass voice coming closer. I glanced up from the crew and watched as she made her presence known. “Shit Derrick… I thought we were going to have to put out an APB on your ass if it got here any later.” Kim stood about 5’4, honey brown skin and had a serious coke bottle figure. She was pretty as hell, I just wished her beautiful face and body matched her attitude. Never one for nonsense I stood up towering over my kids commanding attention. “Well I’m here now.” I said looking down at my babies smiling then back to Kim. “But if you keep up with your foul ass attitude, you’re the only one that’s going to come up missing.” I looked at Kim sternly making sure she caught my drift. I had got onto her ass enough about talking crazy in front of the children; they didn’t need to be hearing any old thing flying out of her damn mouth. Kim flipped back her wavy blonde hair and walked her round ass back into the house.

  I shook my head…I swear if I could erase that night in the back seat of my car from my history I would, but then I wouldn’t have my baby boy Dante. I looked down at my children and smiled. “Well… how are my kids doing huh?” They grinned looking up at me. “Fine.” “I missed you daddy.” Delilah said as I picked her up. “And I missed you to baby girl… I came all the way out her to see you and your brothers… especially this one.” I patted Danton on the head as we walked into his mother’s house. He was only twelve and was damn near as tall as me. “Alright boy…” I said playfully slapping him on the chest. “Just cause you catching my height don’t mean you won’t still catch these hands.” He laughed at me. “Ok old man.” “Old…” I said pretending to put in the head lock.” Who you calling old?” “Daddy you gon play ball with us?” Dean asked clutching his football.

  “Don’t I always lil man?” “Not last time daddy.” Dante tugged on my shirt and eyed me accusingly. “We’ll let’s go inside and say hi to everybody and then we will play right now.” “Yeah!” They screamed. I looked at Danton, he was more quiet than usual. “What’s wrong with you huh? Cat got your tongue?” He smiled at me shyly putting his head down. “Naw dad just glad you here.” “Real talk… come here boy.” I said kissing the top of his curly head. I tried to see my kids as much as possible but with my profession and there gold digging ass mamas it was hard, but I made sure they were all financially taken care of. We stepped inside and played meet and greet with all the adults and I made my way into the kitchen to see Amari. She was turned around making potato salad and didn’t notice me come up. “You missed me baby?” I said wrapping my hands around her small waist. She turned around and scoffed. “Derrick get off me.” She said releasing my grip on her. I stood back and admired how beautiful she was. Amari had light bronze skin, pretty bambi like eyes and shoulder length black hair. She was a real beauty and had a lovely figure that showed perfectly in her tangerine summer dress, which was doing nothing really but enhancing what was already there. “Derrick where have you been?”

  I rolled my eyes; I was in no mood to listen to her nagging…not today. “I woke up late… chill.” Amari went back to fixing up the potato salad and huffed. “You know it really works my nerves when you tell me you’re going to be here and you don’t show up.” I gave her a sly smile trying to ease her attitude. “You used to like when I worked your nerves.” She stopped what she was doing and scowled at me.

  “Derrick please…”

  “What do you want from me Amari…” I sighed. “I’m here.”

  “I don’t want anything from you but your son, the child we have together would like to see more of your tired ass.”

  I stared out through the window at Danton and the others playing outside, all my kids were good children, I would do anything for them…I didn’t like being accused of being a bad father. “I do what I can.” Amari saw the annoyed look on my face and sighed. “Look Derrick I gave up on you being there for me a long time ago, but Danton is still your son and he needs you more than ever now and I’m not just talking about your money. He’s going to be a teenager soon.” I stared into her eyes that were pleading with me to get it together and I smiled. “Ok…ok I’ll do better.” She nodded, hoping she had finally gotten through to me.

  “Good… now let’s take this food to the main room before everybody starves to death.” I grabbed her arm before she left, taking her off guard. “Can I get a hug?” I asked innocently. Amari eyed me suspiciously and reluctantly agreed. I wrapped her small body against mine and gently kissed her neck causing her to shiver. “Derrick don’t…” She said trying to pull away from me but I held her in place. I placed my lips on hers and bit on them a little causing her to moan. “Derrick…” We were getting pretty into it until she pushed me away. “What have I told you about doing that?” Amari yelled. I just leaned back and laughed. “C’mon girl you were feeling me.” She just shook her head and sighed. “Derrick we are not together anymore ok. I don’t need you coming at me like that.” Reluctantly I admitted defeat and nodded. “Ok…I’m sorry.”

  Amari took a breath and nodded taking one more glance at me before she exited the kitchen into the main room. “Ouch… shot down again.” I heard the sounds of venom spewing to the right of me. I turned around to see Kim with a wicked grin on her pretty face. Amari made it a point to invite all the kids’ mothers over whenever she had a function since they all were brothers and sisters. She was just mature like that, too bad I couldn’t speak for the others. “What the hell do you want Kim?”

  She walked toward me with curious eyes. “All I want is for you to stop wasting your time with Ms. Holier than thou over there and come get what you have been missing.” I shook my head, as tempting as Kim was there was no way in hell I was going to be fucking with her again…hell I learned my lesson. I attempted to walk past her. “Girl… you wasting your time.” She grabbed my hand softly and sighed. “C’mon Derrick you know you miss me.” I looked her dead in the eyes giving her my fool attention. “Oh I miss you.” I said running my finger down her sheer pink blouse. “But one thing I don’
t miss is that funky ass attitude of yours.” She pouted at me, not liking my tone. “I’m sorry baby. I don’t mean to be a bitch.” Kim said as she undid the zipper to my pants and slipped her hands in the slot. “So let me apologize.” I try to ignore how good her fingers felt but couldn’t…she was touching me just right. “Kim my kids are here.” I barely got out. She ignored my please and continued to work her magic fingers. “So let’s go to the bathroom.” I shook my head. “No we can’t do this …” Kim placed her soft mouth on mine and swirled her tongue around until I groaned. When she saw that I wasn’t resisting she guided me to the bathroom down the hall. “C’mon baby… let me take care of you.”

  4

  Something don’t seem right

  Destiny

  I squirmed around in bed getting lost and consumed in the same continuous dream that I had been having for months now. It always started off slow and dark as if I were in a haze. I lay in bed consumed with lustful thoughts as this strange and handsome man lay right beside me. I watch as he leans over and with one hand unbuttons the nightshirt that I always wear as if he has every right to do so. Soft moans escape my lips as I feel his fingers fondle me trailing down from my breast, to my hips, and softly brushing over my damp panties. I do not fight nor do I resist him, enjoying the feel of his rough hands touching me. Wanting to feel the warmth of his mouth I turned to the side and kissed his soft lips. I let his tongue swirl around mine not wanting to break our rhythm even when I feel those curious fingers continue to search my body. “Ooooh…” I moaned slightly.

  He continues to kiss me while his hands show no mercy to my already soft and tenderness spots. By the time I woke up from this dark fantasy, I was sweating and panting heavy. As soon as I calmed down I thought about the man in my dream. I had never seen him before nor did I think I ever would, but he consistently disturbed my sleep. I finally was able to get up and make it to the kitchen to soothe this aching heat in body with some water. I leaned over the counter top and pushed my damp hair back from my face. My date with James had gone smoothly tonight, he was very nice and charming. He had a great family back home in Michigan and was driven to be successful.

  I enjoyed looking at him and listening to him talk but I couldn’t feel anything between us, no real connection, and no sparks. The date went…oh hell it just went. I looked back toward my bedroom wondering if I went back to sleep could I finally finish that good dream I had been having. Pathetic, I thought to myself. I am so desperate to get some I have to dream about it. I shook my head not wanting to think of my dream lover anymore. I needed more than dreams of a hot and sexy man I needed the real thing. Damn Destiny what is wrong you? I thought to myself. James his gorgeous, successful and he wants you.

  You would be a fool to give that up. I took another long sip of water and returned to bed. I forced out any thoughts of my mystery man and attempted to sleep peacefully and alone. As I rested my eyes and drifted off I began to fell a large strong hand wrap around my hips and I knew he was back again. He rested his lips to my ear and curled my body closer to his. I rubbed his smooth hand seeing his cinnamon skin glow in the moonlight. What am I going to do about you, I wondered.

  Derrick

  “Alright y’all, here is what we are going to do…” De, Ray and I met up in the basement of my house formatting our plans. The big weekend was coming up and it was time to refine our plan of attack on Julio. We all sat around the roundtable and discussed business while sipping on some much needed liquor. De took a sip of rum and coke and continued speaking on our individual roles. “Me and Ray are rolling with Julio to the docks to pick up shipments by the harbor. We will be with another dude name Junebug but he is just protection for Julio. By himself that muthafucka is dumb as a rock… don’t know left from right.”

  Ray chuckled at his brother’s joke but I was still in game mode. No matter how much we plotted to rob these cats blind one slip up, one wrong move, could take out everything and somebody like Julio would have our ass sunk to the bottom of the bay if he even thought we were foul. “So after things go according to plan down at the docks with the shipment, were gonna take the money bags and switch them with these counterfeits right here.” Ray pulled out a couple of stacks that looked to me like the real thing.

  “Damn boy this shit look legit to me… how you get a hold of these?” I asked while running my hand through the Benjamin’s. Ray chuckled. “One of my boys I know from the pen….he be printing these things by the dozens. He decided to hook me up.” “And you think Julio won’t be able to spot some fake ass money?” I asked curiously not believing we could really pull this shit off. De shrugged. “By the time he does he will be dead ass broke and we will be long gone…talk about a come up.” I nodded thinking that everything was sounding good but wasn’t registering in my gut…I still wasn’t sure about going up against a big name drug dealer like Julio. There was no guarantee this plan was going to work…but then again neither were all the others. “Where are all the alarm codes you got for me?” I asked ready to get to business.

  De pulled a white slip of paper out of his pocket and flipped it on the table. From what I saw there had to be three to five different codes there. “Well damn how many security systems he got?” I said in shock looking at the paper. “Enough to make the white house security look like shit.” De said shaking his head. “And you mean to tell me he gave you fools all these codes having only worked for him for a couple of months?”

  I said looking at them both like they were crazy. I know I aint got dummy written on my forehead. They both roared laughing at me…I didn’t find anything amusing, my life could be on the line fucking with these two knuckle heads. “His ass didn’t give us shit…we just some ducking and dodging type of muthafuckas.” Ray continued to chuckle. “It was nothing for us to hack into his system and find all his codes… it was like checking out a book at the library.” I nodded my head knowing he spoke the truth….the CIA aint got nothing on these criminally minded muthafuckas right here. De leaned in on the table. “Look the first code is through the main gate, I am going to disable the security cameras before we leave for the docks. Second code, it’s to get you into the house, go directly up the stairs to the last bedroom at the end of the hall. In the center of the floor under his bed is where the safe is located. Lift it up and the hugest safe you have ever seen will be right there willing and ready. Saying Derrick come get me.”

  My eyes lit up even at the thought of that, I leaned in to the table to hear more. “Now are you going to be able break into that bitch or what?” Ray asked curiously. I chuckled at him. “Have you ever seen one I couldn’t get into?” They both smiled wickedly. “Alright, alright have your bags ready cause the benjamin’s you gonna be pilling are going to load you down like weights. When you finish up put everything back in place like before and just ease on out.” “Just like that?” I asked with a straight face. “Just like that.” De answered me back. I leaned back from the table reviewing everything in my mind. “Well boys… let’s get to work.”

  Destiny

  I came into work a little earlier than usual; I was hoping to get as much work done as possible because I needed to get away for the weekend. There was so much on my mind, I needed a stress reliever and there was only one thing I knew could help me with that. “Here early huh? Bad sign.” Marisol said entering my office. I looked at her puzzled. “Why is that?” She took a seat opposite my desk and sighed. “It means that your date didn’t go so well or you would be spending this beautiful morning in bed instead of at work with me.” I laughed, Marisol was very observant and loved to voice her opinion to the fullest…good thing she knew not to over step the boss/employee relationship line…sometimes. “The date was good…it was. James is a good man, I wouldn’t mind seeing him again.” I said looking up at her through my filling. “Then why the sad face?” She asked confusingly.

  I shrugged. “No reason, it’s just…I don’t know… I got a lot of tension.” I slapped the files down on my desk and reste
d my back against my office chair. “I think I’m going to head up to the cabin this weekend.” Marisol chuckled. “Oh Lord back to the dungeon…now I know something is wrong.” I shook my head. “Nothing’s wrong it’s just…I have been having this dream and I think if I go away for a while I could figure out its meaning.” “You mean if you paint it.” Marisol knew alongside running an art gallery I also painted as well. I often shared with her my finished pieces but never displayed them publicly…I felt they were too dear to me and any sign of scrutiny would break my heart. “I’ll tell you Destiny, I don’t see why you don’t display your work…your paintings are beautiful…better than half the pieces you have hanging up in your gallery.” I smiled faintly.

  “When you have something so precious to you…you tend to want to keep it only to yourself …only you can understand it…only you can see what others don’t see.” Marisol seemed to cling to my words understanding every syllable.

  “That’s how I feel about my work…I keep it to myself because it’s only for me. And that’s why I am here so early this morning… I want to have everything set aside so I will have no worries this weekend.”