by Aratare, X.
“Corey!”
Corey tapped the book against his chin. “Only the most important ones, Gabe! I promise!”
“Hmmmm.” Gabriel’s eyes narrowed further.
“Maybe you should—uhm, I don’t know—have some fun? It might improve your mood,” Corey suggested tentatively. “You’ve been holed up in the dark with the spiders all morning.”
“I was thinking of grabbing a sandwich and maybe having a picnic lunch on the beach.” Gabriel sighed as he settled down on a piece of old rattan furniture next to Corey. He ran a hand through his black hair. It came back filled with cobwebs and what looked like spider egg sacs. With a grimace of disgust he flapped his hand to get them off.
“Lunch. On the beach. By the water?” Corey clarified.
“Yeah.”
“You’re making strides, my man!” Corey grinned. “Uhm, I already ate, but I’ll come if you want company.”
Gabriel laughed. “It’s okay. I can see how comfortable you are here. I think I just want to roam around a bit by myself. And that way if I wimp out about the water, I won’t have a witness to it.”
Corey put the paperback to the side and tented his hands over his mound of a belly. “You’re doing really good, Gabe. I’m proud of your progress.”
“Are you taking on Freud today in addition to Santa Claus and Cupid?” Gabriel teased. He grew more somber when Corey didn’t smile, but instead seemed more concerned. “I’m okay.”
“At least you’re trying to be,” Corey said.
His best friend tipped his head towards the sea. There were two foot waves, bright with foam, crashing against the beach. Gabriel’s shoulders twitched. Once again that mixture of sick dread and excitement filled him.
Nothing amazing is coming. Nothing bad will happen. Though that means no one amazing will come, either.
Gabriel stood up. “I’m going to be just fine. Maybe Freud suits you the best of all your personas.”
“Hell no! I would hate to ask people what they’re feeling all the time and then try to figure out how it related to their childhood.” Corey mock-shuddered.
“So you do this for me because?”
“Because you’re worth it. Besides, Grandma G won’t make me more pie if you’re a Gloomy Gus all summer,” Corey explained.
“Of course, it all comes down to pie,” Gabriel laughed.
“Doesn’t everything?”
With that Gabriel went into the kitchen, leaving Corey to his reading. He quickly slapped a ham sandwich together. He also grabbed a bottle of soda and another of water. He shoved all of it into his army green knapsack and slid his phone into the front pocket of his shorts. When he walked past Corey on the porch the other boy was already conked out. Soft snores emitted from his mouth. The book he had been reading was splayed flat against his chest.
“Sleep well,” Gabriel whispered before he walked down the steps and onto the sand.
The roar of the ocean soon drowned everything else out. His eyes unwillingly drifted towards it. The sea was a deep blue. The waves were topped with pure white foam. The rush and slap of the water against the sand was hypnotic. Gabriel’s steps slowed. The ocean was beautiful, but so dangerous. His parents had loved it, and he knew that deep down, he still loved it as well. He could still vividly recall how before their deaths, he would always run into the waves as soon as they came to his grandmother’s cottage. The water would glide around his body like silk. He would feel free from gravity’s shackles. Back then, he had thought that the best things in life would always be related to the ocean.
Gabriel turned away from the water and began walking. The beach was surprisingly empty. He plopped down on a little hillock of sand. The golden grains were warm against his buttocks and the backs of his thighs. The sun bathed him in clear light. He dug out his sandwich and the bottle of water.
He closed his eyes and looked at the sun through his eyelids. While his eyes were shut, the light turned from golden to red. The sound of the waves washed over him and his heart began to take on the same rhythm as the slap of the water against the hard-packed sand.
When I stepped into the ocean to save those people something happened. Gabriel could almost still feel the thrum that had raced outwards into the sea as soon as his skin had touched the water. He grimaced. I’m making something out of nothing. Romanticizing my life because nothing much happens in it.
Yet still the feeling of anticipation and sick dread remained. Everything felt suffused by it. He opened his eyes, trying to center himself on land and not in the sea. His gaze slid from the water to the line of cliffs half a mile away. The ground above the beach gradually sloped upwards, rising until it formed a cliff face fifty to seventy feet tall in some places. He squinted and thought he saw several dark openings in the cliff face facing towards the water. Could one of those be the cave that Samuel mentioned in his journal, the one where Tabatha had found her beautiful lover? Gabriel’s parents had not allowed him to explore the nearby caves as it was dangerous when the tide came in. Not that Gabriel had ever cared about the caves when there was the sea. His mind drifted back to Samuel and Tabatha.
What decision did Samuel make? Did he kill his wife and her lover? Or did they manage to escape him? I hope they managed to give him the slip and the man died old and alone.
The desire to look inside the cave rose up in him unbidden. He knew that there would probably be no remnants from the affair that had started there nearly a hundred years ago, but it would still give him something to picture as he read the rest of Samuel’s journal. It would make the words that much more real, too. Gabriel finished chewing the last bite of his sandwich. He had eaten it without tasting it. He took another swallow of cool water, got up, dusted the sand off his pants and strode towards the caves.
Why am I so excited? It’s likely to be just a dank cave. Yet Tabatha and her lover met and spent time together in there. Either their fear of being found out was so great that a mossy cave appealed to them or it’s more pleasant inside than I’m imagining.
After several minutes of walking he arrived at the base of the cliff. The rocks around the nearest cave opening had been polished from the constant rush of the ocean. Though the water was still a good distance away from the mouth of this cave now, it clearly flooded the cave at high tide just like Samuel and his parents had warned. He felt a trace of unease imagining being trapped inside when the tide came in, but he was sure he still had time to poke around a bit and get out before he even risked getting his feet wet.
The sand leading into the cave was slightly damp. Inside the air was salty and the sound of the waves took on an almost ghostly echoing quality. With the sun blocked by the solid rock of the cave, a slight chill fell over Gabriel. He rubbed his arms as gooseflesh broke out. He tried to imagine a woman entering here with the roar of a storm above her. She would probably have wanted to stay near the cave’s entrance, but the wind would have blown water well inside. She would have been forced to creep further in. Gabriel followed Tabatha’s imagined route.
The cave did not go straight into the cliff. Instead there was a slight turn to the right, and then the cave floor began to slope steeply downwards. She probably had gone around this bend to get out of the storm’s fury. And then what? Did she see someone? A pale blur in the darkness?
And why was he naked? Or did that only happen the one time that Samuel followed after her?
Gabriel followed the curve of the cave. It went back over one hundred feet before it opened up into a balloon-like pocket at the end. The light coming from the cave opening was all but gone after he had taken just a few steps around the bend. He fished his phone out of his pocket and turned on the flashlight app. The sand beneath his feet was becoming increasingly sodden as he advanced inside the cave. It gave way beneath his feet more than once, and his shoes soon became soaked.
Suddenly his phone revealed a brilliant blue splashed across the side of one of the jutting surfaces on the wall. He reached out and touched it tentatively. An oi
ly powder came off on his hand. Was it chalk or pastels? He wasn’t sure. Had some kids come in here and sprayed graffiti everywhere? He played the light further along the wall and gasped. There was a painting, a mural, actually, of life under the sea stretching across the back wall of the cave.
“Beautiful,” he whispered. His voice echoed.
The mural’s colors were so vivid that they leaped out at him, glowing in the light of his phone. The artist’s gift for realism had Gabriel leaning forward, almost touching his nose to the mural itself, as he studied the sea ferns and the fish that darted between them. He swore that the fish he glimpsed in the corner of his eye seemed to flit away from him and hide behind delicate coral fans. Gabriel could almost believe that if he ran his fingers over the side of the fish he would feel scales and not cold stone. He didn’t touch anything, though, for fear he would smear and ruin the delicate lines.
Would the oily nature of the chalk keep it from washing away with the tide? But why create art that no one will see anyways?
The mural was mesmerizing. Though Gabriel wasn’t an expert, he was sure that the fish depicted on the wall were completely accurate, as were the underwater plants. Whoever had created this piece of art knew the sea like the back of their hand. The unevenness of the wall had been used to full effect to give the painting depth as well. The mural was over twenty feet long. He looked at every inch of the mural, then started over and looked at it again.
I’ve got to take some pictures, but I can’t use the camera without turning off the flashlight.
Gabriel found himself longing to actually see these things underneath the rolling waves. Not just in a dream, but in reality. It had been so long since he had thought of the sea while awake with anything but fear. It was as if a great weight, one he had carried around for years, had been lifted slightly off of his shoulders by seeing such beauty. Looking at the mural, he remembered why he used to love the sea with all his heart and how his subconscious had created that spectacular dream the other night. He wished that he could love it in that uncomplicated a way. He was irritated when the phone’s light began to dim. But his irritation fled when he suddenly felt the rush of water over his feet.
The tide!
The water must have been flowing into the cave for some time, but he hadn’t noticed. The mural had completely taken over his thoughts. Gabriel flashed the phone over his watch. Somehow he had been in the cave for over an hour. He had completely lost track of time again like he had on the beach the night before. With a curse and a spurt of adrenaline running through his system, he started to head back to the mouth of the cave. But he hadn’t gone more than a few steps when his right foot hooked underneath a rock hidden by the water and he fell forward. The phone went flying from his hands and hit the opposite wall. The glow from it went out and darkness flowed over him.
Water and wet sand coated his hands. He pushed himself up to his knees. His heart started hammering against his chest as another rush of water gushed in. The downward slope of the cave was causing the water to come in faster. He feared he didn’t have much time before the entire space was submerged.
Don’t panic. Just keep ahold of the wall and it’ll lead you out. There will be some light to guide you soon. Let your eyes adjust and follow it.
He took in deep breaths. The water was now up to his calves. The smell of salt and seaweed overwhelmed him. The coppery taste of fear coated the back of his tongue.
There’s nothing to be afraid of. I’ve got to keep from panicking. That will get me killed.
He stretched his arms out to the sides. His fingers on one side brushed the rocky wall. He leaned towards it and climbed to his feet. When he had fallen, he had been facing towards the cave’s mouth, but now he felt the water pushing at him from behind. He turned towards where the rush of water was coming from.
The water was almost up to his knees now. His khakis were plastered against his legs. The sand kept shifting beneath him, and he felt the current trying to suck his feet out from under him. He stumbled and lost hold of the wall once more. Panicking, his arms flailed wildly and he fell over. The water pushed him back and his head went under the surface.
No!
Gabriel clawed his way out of the water and took in a desperate breath. Why had he ever come in there? Why had he been so foolish as to lose track of time?
Don’t think about that. Just get up and move!
The water was now up to his stomach. He could hardly keep his footing. The current was incredibly strong and the water kept rising. He had gone only a few steps before it was up to his chest. His breathing came in panicked gasps. The water kept pushing him towards the back of the cave. For every step forward he managed to take, another wave pushed him three steps back. The water was now up to his neck. He couldn’t get any purchase whatsoever on the ground with his feet.
I’ve got to swim. That’s the only way. I’m strong. I can swim my way out of here!
Gabriel toed off his shoes and slipped off his backpack, which had been constraining his arms. He treaded water, feeling lighter without the burden of those things. He started to stroke into the current as it was his only guide now as to which way was out. The darkness in the cave was complete. He realized that the beautiful mural must have been washed away now.
He wasn’t sure if he was making any progress. There looked to be no light ahead of him. Just the velvety blackness of the cave. The back of his head struck something. Pain lanced through his skull and his strokes stopped for a moment. He had knocked against part of the cave’s ceiling. Full blown panic raced through him. His head was brushing the ceiling! How much air was left?
Another powerful wave thrust him backwards again and his head hit the ceiling even harder than before. His consciousness dimmed as the water flowed over his head and he sank beneath the surface. He tried to push his nose and mouth above the surface of the water. His lips were practically kissing the cold, dark ceiling. He took in one last deep breath before the water reached the top of the cave, filling it completely. There was no more air left.
7
THE SILENCE OF DROWNING
Gabriel knew he had one more shot left at getting out of the cave alive. He had taken his last lungful of air. If he didn’t hurry, that might be all he would ever get again. He frantically propelled himself underwater. His arms and legs moved furiously against the strength of the sea. He didn’t know if he could hold his breath for over a hundred feet underwater to get to the cave’s mouth. He didn’t want to consider that no matter what he did it might already be too late. What if he was dead already, but just didn’t know it yet?
He brushed his right hand along the wall to guide himself towards the opening of the cave. He thought the cave wall seemed to be curving. If he was at the curve, there was a chance he could get out. But his lungs were already burning, as were his sides. He remembered his sides burning in the same way when he had nearly drowned last time. The skin there felt like it would rip open.
He swam up towards the ceiling as his lungs begged for oxygen. Maybe there was a small air pocket. Desperation had him pressing his lips against the slick rock. He slowly opened his mouth. Water rushed inside. Gabriel gagged, only to take in another mouthful of liquid. His body arched as his lungs strained to find oxygen and found only water.
There was no sound as Gabriel drowned. It was quiet and dark. His sides were on fire. His body spasmed.
I’m dying ... I’m dying ...
He couldn’t believe it would end like this. He imagined his grandmother and Corey’s pain at his senseless death. If the sea was going to take him, why couldn’t it have done so when he was with his parents? Why wait until now?
Suddenly, the skin along his sides felt like it was unzipping in long diagonal stripes. There was a rush of heat, of hot blood-warm liquid, against his inner arms that he imagined really was blood. But instead of pain, Gabriel felt only relief. His body floated in the current, pulled back and thrust forward, almost gently. His lungs no longer hurt.
Gabriel didn’t move for fear of stopping this miracle. Perhaps if he just stayed still until the tide retreated he would be safe. But that would be hours from now. If this was drowning, he was glad his parents had passed this way. There was no sound. There was no pain. There was just peace as the water rushed all around him. He relaxed. But then he felt something brush his right wrist. He jerked away, but the touch came again. It wasn’t a curious fish. Instead, a hand was touching him. For one moment all Gabriel could think of was the dream. The touch felt the same. It was a masculine touch, just like the man’s. Logically, he knew it was impossible for it to be the man from his dream, but he found himself calling his rescuer “the man” in his mind anyways. He tried to open his eyes, but they stung from the salt and everything was a blur. Like the lights in the dream had, this time the darkness and the salt were hiding the man from him.
Gabriel linked his fingers with the man’s as the man confidently touched him once more. The man began to tow him out of the cave. Realizing that movement wasn’t stopping the miraculous fact that he was breathing underwater, Gabriel started to help the man who was helping him. He kicked his feet and stroked with the arm the man wasn’t holding. Soon the water ahead of them shifted from black as pitch to gray to clear. Even though his vision was still terribly blurred, he could see shafts of sunlight breaking through the water’s surface. He kicked harder.
We’re almost out of the cave!
Gabriel blinked furiously underwater. His eyes were stinging from the salt, though, so all he saw of the man assisting him was that he was well-built with long dark hair that waved in the water like a flag flapping in the wind. As soon as they broke free of the cave’s walls, Gabriel immediately swam towards the surface. He felt the man try to tug him towards deeper water, but when Gabriel’s panicked pulls became apparent the man reluctantly allowed him to head towards shallow water. Gabriel’s face finally broke through the surface of the water, and he splashed forward until he was able to stand.