by Aratare, X.
Free! Safe! Yet some part of him rebelled at having gravity reassert itself as he got up on his knees in the surf.
Gabriel tried to take in a deep breath of air even though his body did not feel like it needed it. Immediately, his lungs seized. His body spasmed once more, but this time it was air that was causing him to flail helplessly. He opened his mouth and vomited vast quantities of water. He gasped and choked as water slid back in with every breath he tried to take. His rescuer came up behind him as the waves crashed cruelly against Gabriel’s body.
“Be calm. Be serene. Reach for equilibrium,” the man said. “You are not used to the transition yet. Your body will adjust again. Let the water come up. Do not fight it.”
The man gently rubbed Gabriel’s back until the heaving slowed and stopped. He was able to breathe without gagging. Gabriel nodded his head to indicate to the man that he was all right. Impossibly all right. He started crawling towards dry land. His hands sunk into the wet sand. The waves had turned it into a liquid mush beneath him. The man hesitated in the water, but finally gave in and came after him, helping Gabriel collapse on his front just beyond the rush of the waves. Gabriel turned his head to the side at the last moment to stop himself from breathing in sand. He was shaking so badly he couldn’t speak at first. The man again resumed his tender stroking of his back.
“T—thank you,” Gabriel managed to get out. His throat hurt and his voice was hoarse.
“There is no need for thanks,” the man murmured. His voice really did sound like the man in his dream’s. The stroking continued uninterrupted, and soon Gabriel’s trembling eased.
“I should be dead,” Gabriel said. “I—I thought I was.”
“The first transition is a bit like death,” the man said. “But I do not understand why you were alone for it. Your fear was like a beacon to me, similar to—it does not matter. I came as fast as I could, but already you were through it. Why was your tranache not with you?”
Transition? Tranache?
“I don’t understand what you mean,” Gabriel said. He swallowed, trying to get some saliva down his aching throat. “I just went inside the cave to explore and lost track of time when I found this amazing mural, and then the tide came in.”
“A mural? That is what kept you in the cave when the tide started coming in?” The man sounded uneasy.
“It was so beautiful that I … well, almost died for it.”
“So you did not know, then, that you were transitioning?” The man sounded shocked.
“I’m still not understanding what you mean by transitioning.” Gabriel lifted himself up and turned to face the man for the first time. The words he was about to say froze in his throat. His tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth as he stared in sudden wonder and surprise.
Beautiful. Stunning. Otherworldly. All of these descriptions popped into his mind. He could not have picked a better person for the man from his dream to be than his rescuer. His rescuer looked to be slightly older than Gabriel. He had long dark hair that was slicked back from his face and hung like a rope of wet silk down his powerful back. His wide eyes were an incredible shade of blue-green and were looking back at Gabriel with confusion. The pupils seemed larger than normal, but it just added to the man’s beauty. He had delicately arched eyebrows, a strong jaw and high cheekbones. His lower lip was slightly larger than his upper one, just begging to be sucked on. And that was only his face.
His body was even more incredible. The man’s chest was broad and heavily muscled, leading down to a slender waist and muscular thighs. He only wore what looked like a loincloth of shimmering blue-green material that matched his eyes and hung to his knees. The front panel of material had fallen to the side, revealing a long, thick cock. Gabriel flushed hotly and quickly looked away. His own cock, though, twitched in his shorts, and a burst of heat went through him at that simple glimpse. His body was telling him he knew that cock, had been pierced by it to his core. He dragged his eyes back up to the man’s face.
His rescuer’s eyebrows drew together. He did not open his mouth yet Gabriel clearly heard him ask, You do not know about the transition? Were you not told of it by your tranache?
“Your lips aren’t moving, but I … I hear you,” Gabriel whispered. He touched his temple. “In my mind.”
You do not know anything, do you? How could your tranache allow this? It is worse than cruel! Again, the man’s lips did not so much as twitch. He gently touched Gabriel’s other temple. I am speaking to you in here. Our minds are one.
Gabriel let out a shocked laugh. “Telepathic communication? Am I dead? Are you some kind of—of angel or something?”
The word “angel” came out rather strangled. It sounded so trite and ridiculous, but the man was that beautiful. His voice was so calming.
In the dream, he was just like this—NO! That was a dream and this—this cannot be real either!
Gabriel glanced at the hand that still touched his temple. It was then he noticed that there was webbing between the man’s fingers. Gabriel jerked away, his eyes going wide. There was a flash of hurt in the man’s expression that quickly turned to concern.
“I’m sorry, but ...” Gabriel didn’t know what to say. This man was speaking to him with his mind. He had webbing between his fingers. His touch felt the same as the man in his dream’s. It was inexplicable. It was impossible.
Like me not drowning. Maybe I hit my head harder than I thought. Maybe this is all a dream. Or a hallucination from lack of oxygen to my brain! But he couldn’t convince himself of any of those things. Everything about this moment was as real as anything he had ever experienced.
You do not know what I am. You do not know what you are, the man said telepathically. There was such sadness in his tone, as well as a touch of outrage.
“What I am? I’m me—Gabriel. Just me. Nothing—nothing like you. I mean nothing special or … shit! I’m babbling here. You’re talking with your mind! How can you do that? How is that possible?” Gabriel asked.
It is the way of the Mer. The man held his hand up and spread his fingers. The webbing went halfway up the man’s digits. It was flesh-colored, but laced with bluish veins that shimmered just beneath the skin. Gabriel leaned forward to get a better look. The strange webbing didn’t take away from the man’s beauty. But it was not like anything Gabriel had ever seen before.
“That’s not … normal.” Gabriel blanched as soon as he said the word. That had sounded cruel when he had not meant it that way.
But the man didn’t seem offended. He merely shook his head sadly. For humans you are correct.
He pointed beyond the empty beach towards the far off lights of the town.
“Humans?” Gabriel’s voice rose up. “You think I’m not—not … and you’re saying that you’re also not—not … human?”
I am Mer. You are Mer, the man said.
“A Mer? Wait a minute!” Gabriel let out a slightly hysterical laugh. “That explains it! I’m imagining this. Dreaming again! That’s it! It’s all because of what Corey, Grandma and I were talking about this morning mixed with the dream I had the other night! That’s all. This isn’t real!”
It is real. You know it is real. Let us see if you have started to change fully, the man said.
He reached for Gabriel’s right hand, easily catching it and drawing it between them. He pulled apart Gabriel’s fingers. There was no webbing. Gabriel let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding. For one moment, he had expected the webbing to be there.
“I’m not a Mer! I’m not—not like you,” Gabriel said, and he felt a momentary pang of sadness that he was not, but he pushed aside that strange, unnatural wish.
You are becoming like me. This is merely the start. You are older than most. You have avoided the water? the man guessed.
“Uhm, yeah. How did you know that?” Gabriel asked.
The transition would have happened much earlier than this otherwise. You are mostly grown now. The man gestured towards Gabriel’s lean fo
rm.
Gabriel found himself blushing again. The way the man had said it made Gabriel think he liked what he saw. Gabriel shivered slightly and wrapped his arms around his middle. His wet clothes were now quite cool.
Come. The man extended one hand towards him when he noted Gabriel’s shaking. We should get back into the water. You will be warmer there, and we need to start our journey home soon. You cannot yet go down all the way as you have not fully transitioned, but it will not be long now.
Gabriel didn’t register anything the man was saying other than that he wanted to take Gabriel “home,” to a “home” that was clearly not his grandmother’s. He realized, too, that this “home” the man wanted to take him to was in the water, under the water.
“The water—no! No! NO!” Gabriel yelled the last and retreated from the man a few feet. All his fear of the water slammed back into him. The fact that he had nearly drowned yet again made him more determined than ever to never set foot in the sea again.
The man’s eyes widened. You are frightened of the sea now. I can see it. Your tranache has much to answer for for allowing this all to happen!
“What is a tranache? I really don’t know what you’re talking about. I think you’re confusing me with someone else.”
And I’m confusing you with a man in a dream who would never leave me, Gabriel thought
Gabriel scrambled to his feet. His legs felt like limp noodles beneath him. Gravity seemed to want to crush him. He should leave this strange, beautiful man and get home. Maybe then normality would kick in and this would become a distant, lovely dream. But part of him wanted to stay just to look at the man, even if he wasn’t sure that he wanted to hear what he had to say.
Your tranache is the one who gave you your kalish. He pointed to the necklace that Gabriel had taken from the jewelry box in the basement. Your tranache is responsible for making you.
Gabriel touched the necklace. The shell’s ridges felt smoother than before when wet. “Kalish?”
A symbol of the house you belong to. The man touched the shell. His eyes widened as he took in the delicate ridges of the shell. No, it cannot be, unless …
He was so close. Gabriel found himself leaning forward into the man’s touch. The man was several inches taller than Gabriel, and though broad shouldered himself, Gabriel was not quite as broad as his rescuer.
He has the same body type as the man I dreamed of. I already know that I would fit perfectly against him, Gabriel realized. But he shook the thought away. This man was mad, or he was mad, or Mer, or something.
“No one gave this to me. I found it in my grandmother’s basement.” Gabriel pointed towards his grandmother’s home. He imagined Corey and his grandmother sitting out on the porch, talking and sharing some wine before dinner. He should be back there now. They were probably worried about where he was, worried about him.
The look of consternation passed from the man’s features. He whispered, Braven. It is as I thought.
“Yeah. I’m a Braven. Gabriel Braven,” Gabriel said.
The man nodded. Now all of this makes sense.
“Uhm, it does?” Gabriel shifted from foot to foot.
The first generation was not Mer. Nor the second. Nor the third. We believed it had not taken. And after the tragedy, we were not inclined to hurt the Bravens any more, so we stopped watching the successive generations, the man whispered. His brows drew together and he shook his head. But we were foolish. Liseas is a strong house. We should have known it would come out at some point.
Gabriel remembered the journal then. The naked man with Tabatha. The one she had found in the cave. Was he a Mer? Had she become pregnant by a Mer?
“This is all crazy. I can’t—can’t believe what you are saying.” Gabriel shook his head violently. He wouldn’t believe this nonsense.
You would ignore the fact that you were breathing water as easily as air? the man asked.
“I—that was a fluke. I didn’t. I must have … I don’t know!” Gabriel yelled and flapped his hands up and down in consternation.
Will you disbelieve your own eyes, then? the man asked.
“I don’t know what you mean. The webbing thing? Some people have that …” he said uncertainly. “And the telepathic thing … well, I hit my head pretty damn hard in that cave. Not just once. Twice!”
The man walked to the edge of the water. He bent down and scooped up a handful of the sea. He then turned and walked back over to Gabriel. Watch.
He splashed the water down his left side. Gabriel watched in shock as four slits appeared diagonally across his skin.
Gills! Gabriel gasped. He wanted to lean in closer and rear back at the same time.
“Okay. You’re a Mer. Impossible as that is. You’re a merman!” Gabriel said.
And so are you, the man said.
Gabriel shook his head even as he thought he felt a fluttering at his own sides. He remembered all too clearly the sensation of his skin opening up in the cave and how he could suddenly breathe.
No, that’s not possible! I can’t believe it’s possible! Gabriel thought.
Gabriel, lift your shirt, the Mer said quietly.
“No.” Gabriel hugged his arms tightly around him.
Why? the Mer asked gently.
“Because this is ridiculous!” Gabriel said, a hint of panic in his tone.
Because you know what you will see. You are a Mer. You are like me. The man stepped closer to him.
Gabriel swayed towards him as he looked into the man’s beautiful eyes. They reminded him of sunlight playing on water. They were mesmerizing. Those strong, powerful arms slowly wrapped around him. He knew this touch. He remembered being held like this. It was even better than in the dream. They fit together like two puzzle pieces. Gabriel found himself laying his head against the Mer’s chest. It felt incredible to be embraced like this. For one moment, he felt a connection so strong between them that he wouldn’t have been surprised to see a physical cord connecting them.
I know you are afraid, the man said. But there is no reason to be. You are safe. You will come home now.
Gabriel stiffened. “I’m not going into the water. I—I can’t! I have a home. It’s here.”
It may be empty, Gabriel thinks. I may be empty. But it’s my emptiness, and at least it’s not beneath the sea.
He struggled against the man’s larger form. It was disconcerting to realize that the man was holding him effortlessly. It was only when the man chose to release him that he got a few steps away. Those blue-green eyes regarded him sadly.
Gabriel, you cannot stay on land. The transition has begun. It will not stop. The man caressed Gabriel’s cheek. If you stay here, you will die.
Gabriel gasped. The man’s words seemed to vibrate through him. They had the ring of truth. But staying on dry land meant death? That couldn’t be right! Dry land was where he was safe. Dry land was where he wouldn’t die. The sea wasn’t his home. The sea wanted to take him and drown him. He shook his head.
“I have to go home. I can’t do this,” Gabriel whispered.
The man lowered his head and shook it. I see you will not come tonight. I see you will have to be convinced.
“Nothing you can say can convince me!” Gabriel said with a shudder as he looked at the sea over the man’s left shoulder. It seemed more alien and unknowable than ever before now that he knew there were creatures that lived within its vastness that he had thought were only myth.
I will not say anything, Gabriel. Your own body will show you the truth clearer than any words, the man responded.
“We’ll see.” Gabriel started to turn away from the Mer even though a large part of him cried out that it didn’t want to.
Even though I will physically leave you now, I will still be here. The man touched Gabriel’s temple. When you are ready, we will talk.
“There’s nothing to say.”
The man smiled at him. You know there is. All you need to do is call for me and I will be there.
&n
bsp; “I don’t even know your name,” Gabriel confessed.
My name is Casillus Nerion.
“Casillus.” Gabriel rolled the name over his tongue.
As I said, if you need me, I will always hear your call. Casillus gave him one last caress and then turned and ran into the ocean.
Gabriel watched in admiration as Casillus’ strong body cut through the water. He then disappeared beneath the waves. Just as he did, Gabriel thought he heard the same words from his dream, but this time clearly spoken in Casillus’ voice.
I will not leave you. I will never leave you.
The Merman: Acceptance Book 2
The Merman Boxset
Gay Merman Romance
X. Aratare
1
DISBELIEF
Gabriel Braven stared at the spot where Casillus Nerion had disappeared beneath the waves. There was nothing to show that the beautiful man had ever been there, had showed Gabriel impossible things like gills and webbed fingers, had even rescued Gabriel from death in a watery cave in the first place. But the sea was like that. It didn’t show anything at all when it had swallowed people up whole. Gabriel had known that all too well ever since his parents’ deaths, when their boat had been capsized by a rogue wave when he was just a child. Gabriel had inexplicably survived the sinking. He had vague, dream-like memories of something miles high with tentacles taking him back to shore, but he didn’t believe they were real memories.
Is Casillus even real or is he like that monster that I dreamed saved me? After all, Casillus said he’s a Mer. A real, live merman! But he also claimed I am, too. That I am “transitioning” or whatever he called it.
Gabriel brought up his right hand before his face and spread his fingers wide. No webbing. He let out a relieved gust of air and dropped his hand back down to his side, but that movement had his wet shirt brushing against his skin, against his sides. Something moved just over his ribs. Something opened and closed, fluttered. Like gills.