The Merman Boxset: Gay Merman Romance

by Aratare, X.

  Casillus pressed a gentle kiss against his right temple. Yes, Gabriel, you are.

  7

  LOST AND FOUND

  Gabriel wasn’t sure how long he spent clutching Casillus. The Mer smoothed his webbed hands down Gabriel’s back. His heart rate slowed and evened out as the stroking continued. Gabriel didn’t have webbing between his fingers yet, but the gills were definitely there. It almost tickled when the flaps of skin fluttered as he breathed. He wanted to look at them again, but that would mean breaking free of Casillus’ embrace and he didn’t want to do that yet.

  You have calmed now. The Mer’s voice was soft like the rush of the waves.

  I’m too tired to be upset. Calm takes less energy, Gabriel admitted with a laugh. He rested his cheek against the Mer’s broad shoulder and rubbed it surreptitiously against the Mer’s slick skin. It felt so right to be in Casillus’ arms. He knew he should get up and stop hugging the Mer, but he didn’t want to. He never wanted to get up. I was fighting the change so hard. Now that I’m just letting it happen, there’s nothing left to fight anymore, I guess. I can finally relax.

  I can tell. You are quite relaxed in my arms, Casillus chuckled. He stroked Gabriel’s back again, which nearly made the young man purr.

  It’s all true. You. Me. Mermen and mermaids. God, if anyone knew … He thought of Johnson Tims’ gray eyes alighting with interest if he discovered Mers existed. He shivered. Even after just one meeting, Gabriel knew that a man like Johnson Tims would never be content just knowing that Mers existed. He wouldn’t be satisfied until he had seen the Mers and their city himself. And maybe even that wouldn’t be enough.

  There was—perhaps, is—a rule that only immediate family can know about the ones who transition, Casillus said. It has been so long since one of our half-human offspring transitioned that it is unclear to me if the rules still apply.

  Well, whether they apply or not, my grandmother and Corey ARE my family so I guess it should be okay either way, Gabriel said. Corey might not be his blood brother, but no one could be closer to him than his best friend.

  You feel you can trust them. That is important. Grace … Grace has Mer blood, too, Casillus said.

  But not enough. Like my father and mother, she doesn’t have enough, Gabriel said, and a tremor ran through him. He would have to leave her. She couldn’t come into the water with him.

  She will always have a connection to you and to the Mer. When the time comes for her to pass on—

  No, Casillus, please, don’t talk about that. I don’t want to think of her dying. He shut his eyes tightly. She and Corey will be so upset about losing me. I don’t want to think about losing them permanently.

  They will not lose you, Gabriel. Yes, you will go into the sea, but you will not be lost, Casillus said.

  They won’t see it that way, Gabriel struggled to explain. There won’t be an apartment with Corey next year. No summer of sifting through the Braven family history. No Fourth of July fireworks while Corey and I drink too much beer. No more of Grandma’s pies. There won’t be another Christmas where we get sick on eggnog and end up opening gifts too early. Gabriel stopped listing things off. It was too painful. It felt like he was going to choke on everything he was going to lose.

  You are losing many things. I grieve with you over them, Casillus said.

  Those aren’t just words, are they? I feel your pain for me. Gabriel’s breathing hitched. Trying to imagine what he was losing was just too much, yet feeling Casillus inside of him was equally as moving in an entirely different way.

  Yes, Gabriel, I am with you. I will always be with you. Know now that for as much as you are losing, you are gaining so many things as well, Casillus said. Gabriel could feel the Mer’s lips move against his temple even though he did not use his mouth to speak. Was it a kiss? An accidental touch? I know you cannot see it yet, but there is so much happiness awaiting you.

  I actually can sort of believe that. If you are any indication of what I have to look forward to, Gabriel said, feeling bold and his grief dampening somewhat, Then I have nothing to fear. But …

  But no one and nothing can replace Corey and Grace, Casillus completed Gabriel’s thought.

  You understand. It seems so unfair to lose them. I want to share all this with them, but I can’t.

  Love the moment, Gabriel. Do not waste it on fears for the future, Casillus said.

  Gabriel’s eyebrows rose. You live forever and you believe that?

  It is because I live forever that I believe that, Casillus said. Because I know that there is nothing like the present.

  Seize the day, right?

  Seize the moment. Casillus’ hand lingered at the swell of Gabriel’s buttocks, and a different type of tension suddenly crept into them both.

  Gabriel became hyper aware of his own cock pressed tightly against Casillus’ taut stomach. The Mer’s cock was pushed against Gabriel’s left thigh. Heat flooded his belly. He knew that his cock would start to harden and twitch any moment. He should get up. He needed to get up before he embarrassed himself and Casillus with his arousal.

  You would not embarrass me by becoming aroused. Casillus’ voice was a rumble in his mind.

  You—you heard that thought? Of course you did. No secrets between Mer. Gabriel flushed and hid his face against Casillus’ chest even though he should have been leaping away from the Mer, not drawing nearer to him.

  Only because you wanted me to know. And I am so glad you did. Casillus’ hand that had been resting on Gabriel’s back lowered and caressed along the length of Gabriel’s crevice.

  You’re glad? You—you want me, too? Gabriel stilled even as his mind melted from that intimate caress. Had he read Casillus right? Was he understanding what the Mer was saying? He suddenly wished he could heard the Mer’s thoughts and feelings as clearly as Casillus could hear his. Perhaps after the transition he would, but for now the Mer’s feelings were opaque to him.

  Casillus’ lips pressed against Gabriel’s right temple. They lingered there. This time it was a kiss. An unmistakable kiss. How could I not want you? You have no idea how you call to me.

  Gabriel pulled back from Casillus’ chest so that he could see the Mer’s face. Casillus’ blue-green eyes looked back into his. The Mer’s naturally large pupils were even larger than usual. Gabriel ran one hand along his jaw. Casillus’ eyelids fell half closed as Gabriel caressed him. The length of his cock hardened against Gabriel’s thigh. Gabriel’s own cock throbbed in response.

  You mentioned a call before. Is this the same thing? Gabriel asked.

  No, that was something I was doing for our people, Casillus said and blinked. He wouldn’t quite meet Gabriel’s gaze then. This is just for me.

  I’m just for you? A smile slowly grew on Gabriel’s face.

  Will you allow that, Gabriel? Casillus looked at him through hooded eyes. Will you allow me to have you?

  Gabriel’s heart thrilled inside of him. I think I would allow almost anything you wanted.

  Desire rippled across their bond. Casillus’ pupils grew even larger, but then Gabriel felt him pull back and ask, But are you ready for this? You are still weak and in the midst of the transition—

  Not that weak. Heat flooded Gabriel’s body once more. His cock did twitch this time and he eagerly pushed against the Mer. The thought of sex with Casillus suddenly had him feeling strong and capable. He surged up in the water and leaned into the Mer as if to say, “See, I’m fine!”

  Casillus smiled as he stared deeply into Gabriel’s eyes. He was clearly reading Gabriel’s desire, but also, Gabriel was almost certain that the Mer was seeing the weakness that he wanted to hide, too. We will compromise, then.

  A compromise? Gabriel’s eyebrows rose.

  Instead of answering, Casillus threaded the fingers of his right hand through Gabriel’s hair and drew their mouths together. Their first kiss was like a revelation. It wasn’t just the physical sensation of soft, plush lips opening under his or the sweet tangle of their
tongues, but the heightened mental connection.

  It was like their nervous systems were one. Gabriel could feel the coolness of the tub behind Casillus’ back, the warm slosh of water around the Mer’s limbs, and the pulse of his own cock against Casillus’ belly from the Mer’s perspective. He felt Casillus’ arousal burning brighter and brighter. His own arousal roared even higher in response, his cock quivering like an eager dog on a leash. His balls felt so hot and tight that he thought they might burst, but the arousal was nothing compared to the sense of connection. That connection crashed over Gabriel, overwhelmed him, and his strength flowed away.

  Gabriel? Casillus asked, pulling back.

  It was … was incredible, but …

  Too much. It was too much, the Mer realized, and Gabriel nodded. He realized that Casillus sounded rather breathless and dazed himself, as if what they had experienced wasn’t normal for him either. I have you. Relax. Relax, Gabriel. Let me hold you up.

  Despite breaking off the kiss the connection still snapped between them like a live electrical wire, but it wasn’t as disorienting. Gabriel trembled, but forced himself to let Casillus bear his weight in the water. He suddenly noticed the fine tremors that were running through Casillus as well. Had the Mer been overwhelmed by the connection, too?

  Was that as good for you as it was for me? Gabriel let out a weak laugh.

  A shiver ran through Casillus before he answered, It was … like nothing else. I—I did not know it could happen, but then House Liseas has produced one before you. Still, never has a transitioned human become one. Yet our need sent me out … and I found you.

  Casillus’ thoughts and words were jumbled and perplexing. What couldn’t a transitioned human become? What had House Liseas produced before? What had Casillus been looking for? But Gabriel stopped himself from asking all of those questions. He could feel the Mer’s confusion and shock coursing over their bond. The Mer seemed so overwhelmed and unsure that Gabriel didn’t want to cause more of those emotions by pressing right at that moment. So instead, he chose what he hoped would be a “light” question.

  So it isn’t always like this between Mer? Surprising jealousy squirmed inside of Gabriel. He did not want to believe that Casillus had had this with someone else. It felt so special. It felt so unique.

  No, no, nothing like that. The mental connection is there, but … Casillus’ head tilted to the side, eyes filled with confusion as he sorted through Gabriel’s experiences, but then his gaze cleared. Ah, I see. When humans mate there is no mind to mind connection. It is only body to body.

  Mate? Uh, yeah, right, mate. Gabriel colored. That word seemed so much sexier than “make out” or “have sex”. It also sounded more adult or something. Humans don’t share minds, thoughts, feelings … nothing like what just happened between us. The snapping of the connection caused him to add, What continues to happen between us. I guess there’s no such thing as meaningless sex for Mers, is there, especially with something like this between them.

  Why would anyone want it to be meaningless? Casillus looked almost appalled at the thought.

  Needing to feel some connection, even physical, is a powerful motive. Emotional connections can be messy. They can be painful, Gabriel confessed uncomfortably.

  But such a coupling without any emotional connection would feel dead inside, wouldn’t it? Casillus asked. His eyes filled with pain as he considered it.

  Sometimes, perhaps, but when it’s all you have, when it’s all you believe you’ll ever have … you think it’s enough. At the time, anyways. Gabriel was speaking from personal experience. Humans don’t even know about the possibility of something like this between people. Mer have a leg up on that, I guess.

  What we experienced today is … rare, so very rare, even among the Mer, Casillus said carefully.

  Gabriel blinked. That was how he had viewed his parents’ relationship—so very rare. It is?

  Casillus touched Gabriel’s cheek. Yes, what we experienced is extraordinary.

  It felt extraordinary to me, but I wasn’t sure if it was just my ignorance of what being Mer means. Gabriel gave Casillus a smile. The connection—no, bond—was buzzing pleasantly through him wherever they physically touched.

  Casillus stared at him, unblinking, for long moments, saying nothing. Despite there being a bone between them, Gabriel couldn’t touch the Mer’s mind at all in that moment. He wondered desperately what was going on in Casillus’ brain, but then the Mer blinked. He had come to some decision, though Gabriel had no idea what he had been deciding about. He said simply, It is very special.

  Gabriel knew that there was more to it than that. Casillus was holding back something. At first, Gabriel wanted to drag it out of the Mer. But the only reason Casillus wouldn’t tell me something is because he believes I’m not ready to know. Do I trust him to determine that? One look into those blue-green eyes had Gabriel feeling sure that he did trust Casillus enough to let it go for now.

  The Mer suddenly leaned in and pressed his lips against Gabriel’s again. This time Gabriel was almost prepared for the onslaught of the connection. Their closeness sizzled across his and Casillus’ skin. There was no difference between their bodies now. A sense of oneness filled Gabriel again. He struggled to get up on his knees between Casillus’ powerful thighs so that he could more easily kiss and stroke that beautiful body and face. Weakness weighed down his limbs, but he fought it. Suddenly Casillus’ strength surged inside of him, helping him move easily.

  We should stop, Gabriel, Casillus warned. I can feel how the transition is weakening you. You need to rest.

  I can’t stop. I don’t want to stop. And you don’t either. Gabriel could read that clearly in the Mer’s swirling emotions.

  But I don’t want to hurt you more than anything else I feel, Casillus insisted.

  It’ll be all right. Just give me this, Casillus. Please. Gabriel’s mind voice was just a murmur as they continued to kiss. It was hard to form coherent sentences as the electricity sparked between them wildly.

  What do you want? What do you need? Casillus moaned into the kiss.

  For us to … Gabriel couldn’t form the words. Instead he sent an image of the two of them with their heads thrown back, arms around one another and cum streaming from their bodies. Can we have that? I want that so badly.

  Gabriel was shocked by the need in him. The thought of sharing this with Casillus seemed so right. The emptiness that he had never wanted to admit was inside of him might actually be … quenched, in some way. It was already retreating the longer they kissed. Almost.

  You can have it, Gabriel. I give myself to you, the Mer whispered. The words seemed to flow into Gabriel’s blood like a drug, and he found he couldn’t resist them even if he had wanted to.

  Gabriel moved to straddle Casillus’ lap. Their cocks bobbed in the water between them. Casillus’ organ was long and thick. The tip was huge and rose colored. There was a gauzy haze of precum in the water surrounding it. Gabriel licked his lips. He could almost taste the Mer’s semen on his tongue. Casillus clasped both their cocks in one of his large hands.

  The feeling of his cock being touched by Casillus had Gabriel nearly levitating out of the water. The Mer began stroking both their cocks from root to tip. The pressure was just right. Not too hard or soft, but firm and commanding. As their lips met again and again Gabriel thrust forward against the Mer, his movement causing his cock to slide upwards in Casillus’ grip. He let out a whine. Casillus’ free hand wound around Gabriel’s back and cupped his ass. His fingers played along the crack. Gabriel’s hips rose and fell eagerly. The water in the tub sloshed over the sides, but neither of them cared. Their bodies sparked with their combined energy.

  Casillus’ thumb slid over the head of Gabriel’s penis, spreading open his slit. Hot precum gushed out. Gabriel’s hands raked down Casillus’ front. He found the Mer’s nipples and tweaked them. Casillus jerked in pleasure and the bond went purple with desire. Every thought and feeling between them was
blood red and then brilliant sea blue, melding together as their hips moved in unison.

  Casillus’ fingers slipped between Gabriel’s ass cheeks. He slowly drew them up towards the tight pink pucker of Gabriel’s anus. Gabriel let out a gasp into one of their kisses. Being touched there, where he was so vulnerable and so very needy, made him feel like he was touching a powerline. Every cell inside of him tingled. Casillus hesitated, reading his gasp as pain, his fingers millimeters from that tender opening. There was a little pain. The twin arousals he was experiencing through their bond were so strong, so overwhelming to his mind that he fully expected to pass out from it, but at the same time, he wanted that touch more than anything.

  Touch me! Touch me, please! Gabriel commanded and begged at the same time.

  Casillus’ fingers brushed over the surface of his anus. Gabriel dug his fingers into Casillus’ shoulders as black spots appeared before his eyes. He was seeing and feeling everything from both Casillus’ perspective and his own. It was like being two people at once.

  Touch me, touch me, touch me, Gabriel repeated over and over again.

  Casillus’ mouth fastened onto Gabriel’s, his tongue sliding deeply inside just as he gently pushed two fingers inside of Gabriel’s ass. Gabriel screamed in pleasure into Casillus’ mouth. Thankfully, the seal of the Mer’s lips kept the sound from escaping and the whole house from hearing. He clenched the muscles in his anus down on those beautiful fingers, wanting to keep them inside of him as both their arousals crested at the same time. It felt like being on top of a wave that was going to crash onto a sandy beach. The pleasure was almost unbearably painful as their balls drew tight to their bodies and both their cocks grew so hard it felt like they would explode.

  Just as semen began to pour from their cocks, spurting out onto their bellies, Casillus slid his fingers deeper inside Gabriel’s ass and rubbed his prostate firmly. Gabriel arched back. His mouth opened in a wordless cry as his body emptied itself of every ounce of sperm.