Merry Clem-mas: A Clem Starr Christmas story (Clem Starr: Demon Fighter)

by Kat Cotton

  “Shelley and Luis should open their gifts at the same time,” I told him. “The other one is around the back of the tree.”

  When they saw the Twilight t-shirts, they squealed.

  “Oh, perfect,” they said. They both pulled them on over their PJs.

  While we unwrapped the presents, Andre scribbled furiously on scraps of paper. I had no idea what he was doing.

  Jeb got a great haul of photography equipment and various other things. Apparently, he had a lot of hobbies I didn’t know about. Andre got mainly workout equipment. Luis and Shelley gave Kisho some gourmet kitchen equipment. Yah, best gift, because I’d get all the handmade pasta.

  We were soon knee-deep in wrapping paper and piles of gifts.

  Kisho handed me his gift for me. I carefully unwrapped it.

  I screamed. The boots. The soft, buttery leather boots. I’d wanted them so much, but had been too busy worrying about Kisho’s gift to go back for them.

  “New boots. Oh, best boyfriend ever! How did you know? Just what I need.”

  “No one needs as many pairs of boots as you have,” Nic said.

  I ignored him and tried them on. Perfect fit, too.

  “I went to the boot store that was on the card handily sitting on our dresser,” Kisho said.

  Okay, I might’ve put that card there. And I might’ve made sure my shoe size was handily written on the back, too. But still, he’d picked the exact boots I wanted.

  Nic opened my gift. “This is a kid’s toy. I am way, way too old for stuffed toys.”

  “It’s a fucking unicorn, Nic. You love it. Don’t be a bitch.”

  I punched him on the arm, and he grinned at me.

  “Yeah, I love it,” he admitted.

  Hellhound got more treats than a dog could ever eat. Well, he disagreed. He was pretty sure he could eat them all.

  Then I gave Kisho my gift to him. I wished we could’ve taken a better photo, but there was no helping it.

  He took the frame out of the paper. He didn’t say anything; he just stared at it.

  “Sorry. It’s a crappy present.” I tried to snatch it off him, but he held it tight.

  He kept staring at it, then he wiped his eyes. “It’s wonderful,” he said. “It’s everything I ever wanted. You knew.” The words came out all strangled.

  “Of course I knew. I’m your girlfriend. It’s my job to know.”

  He hugged me and kissed my cheek. He squeezed me tight, but I didn’t mind, not one little bit.

  “That’s it,” Nic said.

  “There’s a gift still under the tree, though,” Jeb said.

  “Yeah, it’s for Vlad.”

  No one said a word.

  “Wait!” Andre said. “I didn’t realize we were giving gifts, and I didn’t want to miss out, so I have something for you all.”

  He handed me a slip of paper. k`1`2

  “A month of not leering at your awesome boobs,” I said.

  Kisho’s said, “Help you with the dishes and other chores.”

  “You’re going to watch Twilight with us without complaining? The whole series?” Shelley said. “That will be so much fun. We need popcorn and other treats.”

  “Wait, there’s a whole series?” Andre said. “I thought it was just one movie. Damn.”

  “We should get dressed before our guests arrive.” Nic stared at me.

  I’d have happily had Christmas lunch in my PJs, but I saw Nic’s point. I ran upstairs to get in the shower before anyone else. Normally, I kept different hours from the vampires, so it wasn’t an issue. Shelley and Luis went to the bathroom in the basement, and Nic had his own bathroom.

  When I got out of the shower, Nic was standing in my bedroom with the gift he’d given me.

  “Jeez, Nic, give me time to dress first.”

  “I’ll give you two minutes. Then it’s makeover time.”

  The leer in his eyes – I should get used to it, I guessed. Nic just loved this kind of thing way too much. I pushed him out into the hallway.

  Kisho had jumped in the shower, so he couldn’t save me. I grabbed one of my t-shirts out of the wardrobe.

  “Not the t-shirt,” Nic said. “That nice sundress you have. You know, the one pretty, feminine thing in your entire wardrobe.”

  “Are you watching me?”

  “No. I just know.”

  Damn him. But I did put on the sundress, and it did make me feel nice being all clean and dressed up.

  By the time Nic had finished fussing with my face, Kisho had showered and dressed. He put on the fancy belt buckle Nic had given him and the shirt he’d got from Shelley and Luis.

  Even though I was wearing the damn sundress, I’d put on my new boots. Nic couldn’t stop me. I had a kickass new ring with a cute unicorn from Luis and Shelley that I slipped on along with my usual jewelry.

  Nic came in and started fussing with my face all over again.

  “None of that peachy pink,” I told him.

  “Okay,” he said. But I knew he lied. He’d do what he liked.

  When he’d finished, again, I looked in the mirror and screwed up my face. Way too girlie for my liking.

  “You look pretty, Clem. Just deal with it.”

  The three of us went downstairs just as the girls arrived with the food. An insane amount of food.

  “Where’s Rose?” I asked.

  “Oh, she can’t make it. She has a family thing,” Francine said.

  That was weird. Rose had mentioned nothing about her family. In fact, she’d specifically said she planned to spend Christmas alone. Maybe she’d decided to reconcile with them, or maybe she just wanted to be alone.

  I gave them their presents and put Rose’s away for later.

  “We have something for you,” Leesa said. “It was a pain in the butt to get it here, but we wanted you to open it today.”

  She ran out and returned with something huge and gift-wrapped with a tiny bow on top.

  I tore the paper off.

  “An office chair! You shouldn’t have.”

  It was a super awesome computer chair. Turquoise blue with all that lumbar support stuff.

  “Well, to be honest, we’ll get the most benefit from it,” Francine said. “It might make your other office furniture look shabby, though.”

  I sat in the chair and wheeled around the living room.

  “Don’t wreck the floors,” Nic said.

  “Hey, you’re just jealous because I have an awesome chair and you don’t.”

  I wheeled over and kicked him, then wheeled away.

  Meanwhile, Leesa and Francine had gone into the kitchen with Kisho. I could smell delicious smells that made my stomach rumble.

  Soon, the dining table was almost collapsing under the weight of all that food. Man, I loved Christmas.

  Jeb had given Tabia a ring for Christmas, and she kept serving up food in a way that made the ring so obvious. I guessed she was proud of it, but I much preferred my boots.

  “More ham?” Nic asked, loading up my plate. “You’re hardly eaten anything.”

  “Thanks. Hey, wait, are you trying to fill me up before dessert? Sneaky, but you know I have a separate stomach for sweets.”

  “I’d say that was scientifically impossible,” he replied. “But I’ve seen you eat.”

  I actually began doubting it by the time I’d finished lunch, but then Nic bought out the most delicious-looking pavlova covered in very artistically arranged fruit. And a Christmas pudding, and a bunch of other things, too. I might be sick, but I had to sample everything.

  “This pavlova is possibly the best thing I’ve ever eaten. Well, except for Kisho’s pie. That was some good pie.”

  “I’d have made another if I’d known we were having a proper lunch,” Kisho said.

  “No, you have to relax today,” Nic said. “Clem will do all the cleaning up.”

  “Huh?”

  Before I could yell at him, my phone buzzed. Who’d message in the middle of Christmas lunch?
/>   I checked the message. Rose.

  “Hell, Rose says she’s at the gym, and she’s in trouble,” I said.

  “Probably just overdid it on the squat rack,” Leesa said. “She’s like that.”

  “I don’t think she’d be calling for help if that was all it was. She’s not like that. Rose is no shrinking violet.”

  I grabbed my keys. Even though it killed me to leave with all that food still on the table, I couldn’t leave her in trouble.

  “I’ll come with you,” Kisho said.

  Andre gave a nod. “You might need me.”

  Hell, was everyone intent on going to the gym with me? Who even goes to the gym on Christmas Day?

  Chapter 12 Gym

  THREE WOULD BE MORE than enough to rescue Rose. I mean, how much trouble could someone get into at the gym?

  “She’s dropped a weight on her foot and can’t walk, I bet,” Andre said. “I’ll carry her out.”

  “Don’t put the moves on Rose. She’ll leave you in a cringing pile in the corner,” I told him. “She’s a tough one.”

  “You’re telling me,” Andre said.

  We parked right outside the gym and jumped out of the car. I got out my access card.

  “This place looks deserted,” I said.

  There were no lights on inside. I cupped my hands and tried to peer though the frosted glass door. Nothing.

  Then I tried swiping my card.

  “Are you sure this place is open today?” I asked when my card didn’t work. “I mean, it says ‘Open All Day, Every Day’, but maybe Christmas is the exception.”

  I double-checked my phone message. Yep, she’d said the gym. This was her gym. She wasn’t the type to play a stupid prank.

  Then I heard a low groan from inside.

  “I think that’s her,” I said. I checked the lock on the door, then pulled out a credit card.

  The electricity seemed to be out, and that was why the swipe card didn’t work. Surely, if that was the only issue, she’d be able to find a way out of the building. They’d have to have contingency plans for that.

  It only took a few seconds with the card to get the door open.

  “Andre, check the fuse box,” I said. “I’ll find Rose.”

  Kisho followed me in.

  The reek of stale sweat seemed stronger than usual. Maybe because the air conditioning was off and the air in the place had become incredibly cloying.

  My feet bounced off the rubber flooring as I walked. I hoped Andre got the lights on soon. You’d never know if some jerk hadn’t re-racked his weights after training. That was a whole lot of danger in the dark.

  Rose groaned again. Her voice seemed to come from the middle of the room.

  I wasn’t sure where Kisho was. It was hard to hear his footsteps at the best of times. On this rubber matting, it was impossible.

  “Rose, are you okay?” I called out.

  “Clem…” Her voice seemed strained.

  My phone. It had a flashlight function. I got it out of my pocket and fumbled to turn it on.

  Rose was lying on a weights bench in the middle of the room, trapped under a barbell as though she’d tried to bench-press a weight way too heavy for her and it’d fallen. But she’d never try to lift anything that heavy. Rose had her hands gripped around the bar, not budging it at all. Her arms were straining, as though it was taking all her strength to stop it from crushing her.

  “Clem,” she said again.

  Kisho rushed over, lifting the barbell. It must have had well over 200kg loaded on it. That was really hot.

  “Thank God,” she said. “I thought I would die.”

  Wow, that was kind of a non-event. At least Rose wouldn’t be so cocky in future about how much she could press. But if she’d been stuck under that weight, how had she texted?

  “Clem!” she called.

  “Huh?”

  I spun around. One ugly looking demon had crept up behind me. Even without much light, I could see his eyes flash a sickly pus-yellow. I almost didn’t want to raise my beam of light to his face.

  “Clem Starr,” he said.

  “That’s my name, buddy. Don’t wear it out.”

  “We finally meet.”

  Hells, had this been a trap to get me here? Demon guy seemed to be expecting me. This was no stupid incubus, like the girls had been fighting. This demon wasn’t going to muck around.

  Normally, I’d have sensed him before he could get this close, but the stifling air in this place had masked his sulfur smell.

  “Get Rose out of here,” I said to Kisho. “Get her safe.”

  “But—”

  “No buts. I can look after myself.”

  I heard them moving behind me. I wasn’t sure if Rose had had any vital parts squished by that weight, but it sounded like she was walking okay.

  The demon cackled softly. “You killed my friend.”

  “Yeah, that’s what all the demons say. If you guys didn’t go around making nuisances of yourselves, you might live longer, is all I’m saying.”

  “I’m here for revenge.”

  Yeah, he could say that, but once he got a load of my sex aura, he’d be dusted.

  Shit. My knife. I’d left it at the lair. Fucking Nic. Wear a pretty dress, he’d said. Yeah, pretty dresses are all well and good until you realize you don’t have your demon-killing knife on you. That’s the trouble with pretty. It was well and good until you have to kick butt.

  The demon rounded on me. I sidestepped, looking around for something I could use as a weapon. I could brain him with a kettlebell, but that’d only stun him.

  “Clem Starr. I pay, you slay, huh? Your friend was only too willing to take my money, but she didn’t realize she wasn’t the hunter. She was just the bait.”

  Damn Rose. She’d been here working a job behind my back? I’d fix that bitch right after I killed this guy.

  He laughed again, but he stopped abruptly as the lights came back on. Thanks, Andre.

  I fixed that demon in my stare. Even if I couldn’t kill him, I’d transfix him with my sex aura. Hopefully, that would last until Kisho or Andre got here. They might have a weapon on them.

  I put my hands on my hips and swerved towards him. The pose wasn’t nearly as sex-laden in this floaty dress, but it worked well enough. The demon’s eyes glazed over. I had him trapped.

  The air conditioning hummed into action. Where was Andre?

  “You want to play?” I asked the demon.

  He gulped and nodded.

  Ha. Sucker.

  I moved closer to him. So close, his putrid demonness made me gag. God, that smell wasn’t good on a full stomach. I shouldn’t have eaten so much, but then I hadn’t expected to have to fight so soon after lunch.

  When I got close enough, I flew at him, jumping in the air and planting one of my lovely new boots fair in his face. He stumbled backwards.

  This would be so much easier with a knife.

  He came at me again.

  I swung at him, first hitting him with the wolf ring on my right hand, then following up with the unicorn ring on my left. This bastard would have a menagerie burnt into his face.

  He recoiled, clutching his face. He snarled and came at me.

  “Not so fast, buddy.”

  Medicine ball to the stomach. Then, while he was hunched over, an uppercut to his face.

  The wolf sizzled his cheekbone.

  Oof! He buried his fist in my belly.

  Did this fool want to be covered in regurgitated Christmas lunch?

  I doubled over, clutching my belly. I couldn’t vomit. Not here. Not in the middle of a fight.

  He tried to frisbee a weight plate at my head. I ducked, then jumped at him.

  A left jab. My fist struck his neck, that unicorn ring singeing into his flesh. The rotten, burning demon smell was a vast improvement, to be honest.

  He clutched his throat. Hell, I hadn’t hit him that hard, but he couldn’t right himself. He fell to the floor.

&nbs
p; “What the hell?”

  His last words before he crumpled into a pile of dust.

  What was this ring the guys had given me? It was no pretty trinket, that was for sure.

  Andre clapped, and I swung around.

  “You’ve been here all along? Why didn’t you help me?”

  “You seemed to have it covered. And when you high-kicked in that dress, I could see your panties.”

  “Your Christmas promise…”

  “Yeah, that was just your boobs, not the rest of you.”

  We went back to the car.

  “Do we need to get you to a hospital?” I asked Rose.

  “I think I’m fine,” she said.

  “You might be fine now, but when I’m through with you, you might need a hospital. What kind of dumb trick was that?”

  “Sorry,” she said. Her voice had lost all its brashness.

  “You put yourself in danger. And if you do things like that in future, you’ll put the other girls in danger. You’ve only been training for a few months. You might be good fighters, but you’re far from experienced.”

  I saw her nod in the rear vision mirror.

  “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

  Of course I was right. Still, hearing those words made my Christmas. They were my favorite words in the whole world.

  “Come back to the lair. We have a ton of food left.”

  This Christmas thing had really made me soft. I was forgiving people all over the place.

  Chapter 13 Unicorn

  WHEN I GOT BACK TO the lair, everyone was asleep. The Christmas mess had been cleaned up, but something strange was sitting in the kitchen. A cake? That hadn’t been there before.

  I burst into Nic’s room to tell him.

  “Nic?”

  That guy. I wanted to grab my phone and get a photo of him all curled up and hugging his unicorn plushie. He looked so damn cute, but he stirred before I could get the shot. Damn it.

  “What’s up? Is Rose okay?”

  He rubbed his eyes, then realized how I’d found him and tossed the unicorn plushie to the other side of the bed. Too late, though.

  “Come downstairs. There’s a present for you,” I told him.

  “Huh?”

  He was still half-asleep, and his hair was sticking out to the side in a weird way, but I didn’t tell him. He could look less than perfect for once.