Water Witch

by Deborah LeBlanc

  “What?”

  “I was sayin’ that I’m sure you’ll agree to allow your sistah here to sit in proxy for you. You would, wouldn’t ya, Sistah Angelle? Sit in proxy for your sistah so the Lawd will heal her condition?”

  Angelle frowned slightly. “Of course . . . I mean, I guess so. I—”

  “Halleluiah! Thank ya Jeee-sus. Now please, both of you ladies sit down and rest yourselves a spell . . .“ Woodard pointed to the ladder-back chairs across from him.

  Although I would have preferred getting run over by a Mack truck, I sat in one of the chairs, then grabbed Angelle’s arm and pulled her down to the one beside me.

  “Can I get ya’ll coffee or juice, sistahs? We have some wonderful, wonderful cinnamon rolls, too, that Sistah Betty brought in this morning. In fact, I just gonna heat one up for myself in the microwave out in the kitchen. Would y’all like one?”

  “No, thank you,” I said. I glanced over at Angelle; who was shaking her head. When she looked at me, I gave her a quick eye roll to say, Does this guy ever shut up? Her lips tightened slightly, which in sister-speak meant, “Chill!” We both turned to face the preacher.

  He jittered in his seat like an engine about to rocket off a launch pad. “Sistah Angelle, I know it’s been some time since you and I have had a chance to talk, but tell me, how is your . . . um . . . er—umm . . .” He glanced at me, then did a slow rolling glance back to Angelle. “Your, condition? If I’m remembering correctly, the last time we talked things had not been completely resolved. I know we prayed for ya, prayed for your deliverance and healin’. Unfortunately, things went bad with my niece shortly after, and we didn’t have a chance to follow up. Sad to say, sometimes things like that do come up just to hinder the Lawd’s work.”

  I knew he was referring to the touching incidents that Angelle had told me about, and I inwardly cringed for my sister. I felt embarrassment bouncing off of her beside me. In that moment, any thoughts I’d had about this man possibly helping us flew out the window. He was too crass and obnoxious to be worth a shit. The only benefit he could possibly provide was maybe more information on Sarah.

  Angelle cleared her throat. “No, Pastor Woodard. There haven’t been anymore reoccurrences of that since Dunny’s been here.”

  The man threw his hands up over his head, fingers spread wide. “Halleluiah, praise Jeee-sus. We have a healing to confess! The Lawd sent an angel by way of your sistah. It comes from the presence and power of the blood of the Lamb that sits in your family, comin’ all the way from your grandparents, your parents, and the love the two of ya share. That love broke the spell cast by that evil spirit and sent ‘im back to the pits of hell where he belongs.”

  “So you think what happened to Angelle was caused by a spirit?”

  “Yes, Sistah, I most certainly do, praise Jeeesus.”

  “How can you be sure that’s what it is? I mean, Angelle didn’t see or hear anything. Has it happened to anyone else in town that you know of? How can you—””

  Woodard held out a hand as though he meant to stop traffic. “Just look at the evidence, Sistah. Just look at the evidence. The spirit of the Lawd is a good and healing spirit. Demons only come to confuse and destroy those of us who are true believers. They aim to take us down to the fiery pit with ‘em.”

  “Yeah, okay, but did you consider anything like psychological trauma? I mean, my sister was really affected by the fact that your niece and that little boy disappeared. They were in her class. Don’t you think that could have something to do with it?”I peered over at Angelle. She was staring at her hands, obviously not liking the bend in the conversation. I turned back to the preacher. “Do you have any training at all in psychological matters? Do you have a Ph.D.?”

  He let out a throaty chuckle. “Oh, Sistah Dunny, the wonderful thing about servin’ the Lawd is that He provides His shepards with alll the degrees they need to take care of His flock. Your sistah didn’t suffer from any psychological issues. It was the deeemon that went after her—”

  “Pastor Woodard, I—” Angelle began, but Woodard was too cranked up to be stopped now.

  “—such a good woman. Such a pure woman. Such a big hearted and givin’ woman. Why it’s no wonder the demons wanted her. They wanted to take away that innocence.”

  I realized I’d jumped onto a merry-go-round I had no business riding on. The guy was definitely a fruit loop. I’d have to grab Angelle later and whack some sense into her for ever getting involved with the guy. However, judging by her increased squirming, I figured she was already kicking herself in the ass—and wishing she could kick his.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  “I’m sorry to hear about your niece . . .Reverend,” I said, intentionally changing the subject. “I’m sure her disappearance has been very difficult for you.”

  For the first time since we’d arrived, the man held silent. He nodded slightly and lowered his head.When he looked back up at us, a tear ran down his right cheek. “It’s been one of the most challenging things I’ve come upon in this lifetime, Sistah Dunny. I’m tellin’ ya, I’m in my prayer closet almost twenty-four hours a day, prayin’ for that child’s soul..”

  “Has anyone come up with any leads on either of them?” Angelle asked.

  “The only evidence found for either of them was that young man’s bike. It was parked on the side of the levee. I just feel in my spirit that since those children went missing together, they were together when they were abducted.”

  “Who’s searching for them now?” I asked. “I haven’t seen a lot of activity going on around town, not like search parties or anything.”

  “I don’t know who’s searchin’, but I’ll tell ya how I see it, Sistah, the way I believe. If it’s the Lawd’s will to bring her back, then the Lawd will bring her back. There are times in life when we’ve got to stand tall, no matter the tender age, and take Gawd’s punishment as it comes. I believe this is her punishment for being with that young man. Heaven help us, glory. Glory be to Jeee-sus. Yes, Lawd. If those two children were involved in any kind of sin of the flesh, then Gawd will dispense his punishment as He so sees fit. It’s not my business to step in the path of the Lawd. If they are dealt punishment for sins of the flesh, so shall it be His will. If they are innocent they will be brought back to the fold.”

  I gaped, unable to believe what I’d just heard. “Wait . . .wait just a minute. Are you saying you haven’t been out searching for your niece because you think she was . . . what? Messing around with that little boy?”

  He lifted his chin. “I’m sayin’ it’s all in Gawd’s hands, Sistah. What better warrior, what better police officer, what better judge of sinner and saint than Gawd Himself?”

  “Whoa,” Angelle said, sitting ramrod straight in her chair. “Straight out, Preacher—are you’re saying you think there was something going on between Nicky and Sarah, and that’s why they’re missing? Because God wanted to punish them for being together? You actually think that’s why they’re missing?”

  “That’s it exactly, Sistah Angelle. That’s what I’m saying. The Lawd will punish without favor. No matter if she is the niece of one of his shepard’s, He punishes without favor.”

  “That’s a crock of shit!” Angelle jumped to her feet, her chair rocking back, nearly tipping over.

  Woodard gasped so loud, had the window been open, people from the next parish would have probably heard him. “Sistah Angelle! I can tell by the filth comin’ out of your mouth, that the demon who defiled you previously is still present. We will pray, Sistah. We will pray for your deliverance from this demon, pray for the town’s deliverance, for it runs amuck with the devil’s own. There’s evidence of it everywhere! Everywhere! Even in this church.” Breathing hard from his fervor, he leaned over as if to relay confidential information. “Why early this morning I found where someone had actually ur-in-a-ted on the foot of the pulpit! Can you believe the blasphemy? Can you believe it? Even worse, glory to Gawd, they’d stuck a knife, a knife mind
you, plunged it right in the middle of the cross on the altar. Blasphemy, I tell ya! A demon from hell was trying to stab the very heart of Gawd. Let’s pray, Sistahs. Let us pray for the deliverance of Sistah Angelle and the deliverance of this town!”

  “You’re the one needin’ the prayers, Preacher,” Angelle said. “I’ve had enough of this bullshit.” She signaled to me that it was time to go.

  Way past time, I thought, gladly getting to my feet. Just as we turned to leave, a policeman walked into the office, almost colliding with Angelle. He maneuvered around her with bothering to excuse himself and walked up to the preacher.

  Angelle signaled for me to follow again, and I mouthed, “Wait up.”” I recognized the cop from the Bloody Bucket. The metal nametag over his left breast pocket read Officer Leger, but I remembered Poochie calling him Beeno. I wanted to hear what he had to say. If there was anything he’d found out about the kids.

  This time Woodard got to his feet. “Officer Leger, thank you so very much for coming to our aid. It’s always a pleasure to see you and know—”

  “What’s been going on in here, Woodard?” Beeno said. “Iheard you yelling all the way out in the parking lot.”

  “Officer Leger, I was just….I was just commenting on the attributes of Gawd. As a preacher, as a shepard of his flock, I have a tendency to get a little carried away in my zeal, as you well know.”

  Beeno drummed an impatient beat on his right leg with his fingers. Something about the cop’s attitude, the way he held himself, the condescending look in his eye, urked me. Cocky. Full of himself, like a Chihuahua that thought it was ten feet tall and bulletproof. “Yeah, yeah, I know, carried away. Look, I’ve got a lot of irons in the fire and don’t have time for one of your sermons. Just cut to the chase and tell me what you called in about earlier.”

  “Ab-so-lutely, Brothah . . . Oh, I mean, Officer Leger.” Woodard hurried around the desk and motioned Beeno to follow as he headed out of the office. He took quick, tiny steps, almost as if he was running on tiptoe.

  Beeno let out a frustrated breath and followed him.

  I immediately started after them, and Angelle grabbed my arm, yanking me to a stop. “Let’s get the hell out of here, Dunny. I can’t believe what that sonofabitch said about Sarah.” Her face was red with anger. “I don’t want to be anywhere near that guy or this so-called church. Not now, not ever again. If I’d known he was anything like that, I’d have never come to see him in the first place.”

  I put my hand on her shoulder. “Don’t beat yourself up about it. Sometimes it takes a while for shit to float to the surface. Hang on a sec, though. I want to take a peek at what’s going on. Asshole or not, he is Sarah’s uncle. Maybe there’s something going on that could give us a heads up before we hit the swamp, you know?”

  “Then you go. I can’t stomach being around that bastard another second. I’m going to go sit in the car.” With that, Angelle turned on her heels, left the office and stormed down the hall towards the exit.

  I watched her leave, then hurried down the hall in the opposite direction, where I’d seen Beeno and Woodard head. The preacher’s constant chatter made finding them easy, and I was soon peeking around a doorway into the belly of the church. Woodard was pointing to a dark circle on the floor next to a lecturn.

  “This is the first of the sacrilegious acts I found this morning, Officer Leger. Imagine it, someone standing right here, ur-un-a-ting in the house of the Lawd! Can you believe it?”

  “How do you know it’s piss?” Beeno asked.

  Woodard’s double blink was obvious even from where I stood. “I would ask you, Officer, to please use the appropriate terminology in the house of Gawd. Such crass language is quite offensive to the ear.”

  Beeno, who was standing with his back to me, shifted his weight. The body language equivalent to an eye roll.“Fine, Woodard. How do you know that it’s urine on the floor?”

  “Why, from the smell.”

  “I don’t smell nothing.”

  “You’ve got to get up close, Brothah…I mean, Officer Leger. You’ve got to get up close.”

  “You mean to tell me you stuck your nose down in it?”

  “Now, Officer, how else would I be able to figure out what some heathen put around this lectern?”

  “Well, you either smelled it or you stuck your fingers in it, then stuck your fingers in your mouth. That’s what I’m thinking, anyway.”

  I put a hand over my mouth to keep my laugh in check.

  “No, sir, no, sir. It was the smell, I’m tellin’ ya.”

  “Fine,” Beeno walked over to a wooden cross that hung on a backdrop behind the altar. There was a red-handled knife stuck in the center of the cross. After pulling a handkerchief out of his back pocket, Beeno used the cloth to work the knife out of the wood. Once it was freed, he held it up and examined it with what seemed like avid appreciation. “A Koji . . .” man, I haven’t seen one of these in years.I don’t know anybody around here who’s got one like this.”

  I’d never heard the term Koji before, so I assumed he was referring to a brand name. To me, the knife looked like an exclamation point with a blade stuck on the end of it.

  Beeno shook the knife in Woodard’s direction. “I’ll find out more from this knife than I will that piss…I mean that urr-ine. So you can go ahead and clean up around your lectern.I’ll take the knife with me and see if I can come up with anything.”

  “Sure, Officer, whatever you need. You do your work for the good state of Louisiana, and I do my work for the good Lawd.”

  Beeno shifted his weight again to another foot.“Yeah, okay . . . look, did you hear any strange noises out here last night? Maybe real early this morning? Dogs barking all of a sudden, anything at all? What about strangers walking around the church parking lot or around your house out back? See anything like that at all?”

  “Not a soul save for the precious lambs from the Lawd’s flock.”

  Beeno blew out another exasperated breath. “Fine. I’ll get in touch with you if I come up with anything.” With that, he turned, so quickly I couldn’t duck out of sight fast enough for him not to see me. He paused for a half-beat when he spotted me watching them, then headed for the front doors of the church without saying a word.

  I stood dumbstruck, watching him retreat, back military-straight. His investigation had to have been the oddest in police procedural history.

  “If you will excuse me, Sistah Dunny.” Woodard’s voice was too close to my ear. I turned, nearly bumping into him. I hadn’t even seen him walk my way. He put a hand on my back, as if to encourage me out of the building. “This way, Sistah.”

  I was more than happy to oblige.

  As Woodard led me outside, he babbled on and on about the lawd.To my surprise, he followed me all the way to the parking lot. Pesticide probably couldn’t get rid of this guy. I’d had enough of him, wished him away, wished I hadn’t stuck around just to see some stupid knife stuck in a cross and piss on the church floor.

  He stayed by my side as I approached Angelle’s car. I saw my sister sitting in the driver’s seat, watching as I approached. Her face darkened when she saw Woodard. If her anger was any greater, she’d be spitting fire and brimstone all over the preacher’s ass.

  Woodard continued to ramble, but my attention was drawn to Dale’s Trading Post a couple blocks away and the tall man walking out of it, carrying a grocery sack. There was no mistaking the black Stetson and long black coat. Although he walked alone, it was as if someone had nudged him to let him know I was watching because he stopped, turned, looked my way, and nodded a greeting.

  “…and the Lard will provide to those who…”

  I offered Cherokee a quick nod in return, and for some odd reason, suddenly became aware of how dressed-down I was in jeans and a t-shirt. What did it matter what I was wearing? He’d seen my hand. In fact, I could still remember the strange comment he’d made as he passed me . . .. “I’d be careful with that if I were you.” Even stranger
was that he hadn’t stopped to ask a single question,never followed me to find out what the finger was about and what I was doing out by the bayou. The warning he’d given me had been more matter-of-fact than ominous. Like someone saying, ‘If you aren’t careful playing with that fire, you might get burned.’ What a strange man . . .

  “…power of the blood of the lamb…”

  I heard the engine to Angelle’s car roar to life, so I hurried to the passenger door. The look she shot Woodard’s way could have peeled varnish off a room full of furniture.

  “—and again, Sistah, you’re welcome to our humble church any time during your visit here in Bayou Crow. Now if you will please excuse me, I must take leave and ready myself for tonight’s service. Our little congregation is at this very moment preparing for a series of services. Deliverance services to cast out the demons that might have infiltrated our little Sarah’s soul. Should she be returned to us by the grace of Gawd, we need time to be spiritually prepared for those deliverance services. The demons are always at the ready to attack, and if they’ve gotten their hands on her, things will only get worst. This is urgent business, Sistah, urgent. But, oh, what a friend we have in Jeee-sus! Thank you, Lawd! Praise you, Jee-sus.” With one hand held skyward, Woodard turned and headed back for the church, all the while waving and shouting about the glory of Gawd.

  Without a doubt, Poochie had been right. The man was a cuckoo—fruitcake—a serious lost cause. And there was little question that if Sarah was found and returned to that man, she’d need a series of services—psychiatric services.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  As far as I was concerned faith and Woodard’s Gawd were the only things that kept us from careening off the highway into the bayou. Angelle was so infuriated with the preacher when we left the church, she took a left out of the parking lot when she should have taken a right, and we wound up ten miles out of Bayou Crow before either of us realized it. She was still cursing a blue streak by the time we finally reached home.