“It’s too much.” I whisper.
She nods her head understanding exactly what I meant.
“Take things one step at a time, Parker, that’s the only way you’ll get past any of this.” She replies gently.
I nod my head and bite my lip.
“Do whatever you need to do, Parker. I’ll keep these guys busy until you’re ready to join us.” Harley then adds.
“Thank you, Harley.” I reply grateful to have a best friend like her.
She nods and then pulls me in for a hug before returning to the others as the movie begins.
Turning around I walk away from the theater room.
I wonder around aimlessly until I find myself in the bar in the basement.
Grabbing a bottle of vodka and a shot glass I sit down at one of the chairs and pour myself a shot.
I gulp it down and then pour another.
I take shot after shot until the bottle empties.
Tossing it in the trash nearby I find another bottle and tip it back without using a shot glass. There wasn’t really a point when I was going to drink it all anyway.
Halfway through the bottle Rowan joins me. “Are you going to share?”
I sigh and hand the bottle over to him.
My world spins so I lay my forehead against the cool surface of the bar.
“He’s awake and doing pretty good.” Rowan states abruptly.
I turn my head to look at him.
“He’s ticked off beyond belief though.” He adds as he takes a long drink from the bottle I had given him.
“He hates me.” I groan.
Rowan shakes his head. “Actually he doesn’t. He was worried about you at first.”
“But now that he knows I’m then one who did this to him he hates me, doesn’t he?” I ask quietly.
“Yes, he does.” Rowan answers truthfully.
“What happens now?” I question with a bit of a slur.
“Right now you need to get some sleep. You’re drunk.” Rowan laughs and then becomes serious. “Now, we let Titus teach Blue what he needs to do and then we hold out all hope that he will forgive you for saving his life.”
I nod my head sadly.
Sliding off of my seat I sway until Rowan has no choice but to wrap his arm around my waist to keep me steady and from falling over.
“Come on, I’ll help you up to your room.” He grunts as he leads me through the hallways and up the stairs towards my room.
When we reach my door we both curse.
We had both forgotten that my room was currently occupied.
“Where should I take you now?” Rowan inquires.
I motion to the next door down but before we can even take a step towards it the door to my room swings open.
Blue stands tall as he glares at us from the doorway.
“Come on, Parker.” Rowan prompts as he tries to get me to move towards the other door.
I don’t move an inch though.
My eyes were locked with Blue’s.
He takes a step forward and Rowan steps between us. “Don’t do this now, Blue.”
Still his eyes don’t move from me.
With a rough shove Blue tosses Rowan to the floor before moving right in front of me. His hand comes up and I half expect him to stroke my cheek.
Instead he grabs hold of my throat before slamming me into the nearest wall.
His eyes harden to the point that I no longer knew who he was. All of the times he had been in my dreams he had never once looked at me like this.
“Why didn’t you just let me die?” He snarls suddenly.
“Why did you turn me into this monster?” He asks next without giving me a chance to answer his first question.
“Did you honestly think that I would want this?” He growls as he slams me back into the wall again.
My breath whooshes from my lips.
“Blue, stop now, this isn’t the time nor place to do this.” Titus demands as he rushes to help.
“Just let him get it all out, Titus.” I choke out.
“I hate you, I hate you, wolf.” Blue then snarls as his hand tightens around my throat.
With my eyes still glued to his I choke out my next words. “Then kill me, kill me so I can be with him again if you hate me so much.”
It takes a brief moment but his hand loosens its grasp from around my neck.
His eyes soften just a fraction. “Stay away from me.” He then warns before stepping away and then going back into my old room, slamming the door behind him.
Without a word I go into the room next door and slam the door before sliding down to the floor as I bury my face into my hands and begin to sob.
I let it all out.
I cry for Gage.
I cry for the turn my life had made.
And I cry for the mess that I had made by forcing someone into the life that I had never wanted in the first place.
“Parker, let me in, please.” Rowan whispers from the other side of my door.
It only causes me to cry harder.
His voice brings back the despair and heartbreak that I had when Gage had forced me to break up with Andy.
Those emotions overwhelm me until I’m gasping for my next breath in between my sobs.
When I calm down enough to stand to my feet I lock my door and then lie down on the bed until my crying pulls me into the darkness of sleep.
I silently hope to never wake again.
I didn’t want to live in a world without Gage any longer.
I was giving up.
13-Moving On
“Come on, Parker, you’re going to be late.” Rowan calls out from the other side of the door.
I groan and turn over so I was face down on the bed.
There was no way I was going to go anywhere.
“Parker, get your ass up. You’re not getting out of this, not today.” Harley demands.
Suddenly the door to the room beside me opens and then the door to my room splinters and cracks before I’m torn from my bed.
“Get your ass up and do something other than cry.” Blue commands as he shoves me towards the door.
I growl and charge towards him.
He wasn’t going to get away with pushing me around.
Chuckling in amusement he steps to the side. “Are you seriously still drunk?”
I growl and charge at him again.
This time he grabs my waist and pins me with my back to his front.
My claws dig into his arms as I snarl for him to let me free. “Get off of me.”
“Not until you calm down and then stop the crying. I can’t handle listening to it anymore. You need to suck it up and move on.” Blue replies harshly.
“You need to get over the fact that your mate’s dead. He’s not coming back. Then you need to get over the fact that I will never be him and that I will hate your guts until the day that you die.” He adds before shoving me away from him.
“I know you’re not him. You will never be like him.” I scream back at him.
“He loved me.” I then add softly.
“And what would he want you to do right now?” Blue questions as he takes a step towards me.
I don’t answer him.
“What would he want you to do, what would my brother want you to do, Parker?” Blue pushes as he yet again takes another step forward.
“He wanted me to go on.” I reply sadly. “Before he died he told me to go on.”
Blue nods his head and then takes another step closer.
“Then go on, go on with your life.” He insists gently.
“How can I possibly go on though?” I whisper.
Taking a step closer Blue gently places his hand against my cheek as he stares into my eyes. “You do it by going to school with your friends. You find someone who will love you even though you’re broken. You take the next step even though your heart feels as if it will shatter at any moment and you fight for your next breath. That’s how you go on.”
&nbs
p; Searching his eyes I place my hand against his cheek this time. “I’m sorry.” I whisper.
“I know you are, but it doesn’t change the anger I feel towards you.” Blue replies as his hand falls and he turns to leave.
He stops near the remains of my door.
“I don’t hate you. I hate what you did but I don’t hate you.” He whispers softly before leaving the room completely.
Harley and Rowan stand on the other side quietly.
I sigh softly when the door next to mine shuts with a soft click.
“Damn it, my clothes are in there.” I curse as I make my way to my door and then stop near Harley.
“I’ll be down in a few minutes, okay.” I sigh again.
She nods and then tugs on Rowan’s arm.
I watch as they walk down the stairs and disappear around the corner.
Placing my hand on the door handle I turn it and walk in without knocking.
I come face to face with Blue’s back as he slips a shirt on over his head.
I can’t help but admire his muscles as they ripple with his movement.
All too soon for my taste he turns to face me.
His brow rises. “Did you want me to yell at you some more?”
I smile shyly and bow my head as I point towards my dressers. “All of my clothes are in here. I need to grab something really quick and I’ll leave.”
“Don’t mind me then.” Blue replies as he falls back on my bed and stretches his arms behind his head while crossing his legs.
His lips form a smug grin as he watches me.
Flipping him off I gain a chuckle before I move over to my dressers and begin to fish out clothes to wear for the day.
Moving on I go into the attached bathroom and begin to strip out of my clothes in order to get a much needed shower to refresh myself.
I turn the water on and slip under it as I close my eyes.
Things didn’t seem so dire right now.
They were looking up in fact.
Soon I shut off the water and step out of the shower only to come face to face with Blue.
I hurry to cover myself the best I can but it was useless.
The look in his eyes gave away the amount of my body that he had seen. His eyes were heated with want and need.
“Why am I so drawn to you?” He whispers curiously.
“I don’t know. Your brother and I were drawn to each other because we were true mates. I don’t know why we’re being drawn together.” I answer him honestly.
“I hate this feeling.” He then growls with frustration.
“Gage didn’t like the bond between us at first either.” I blurt.
Blue steps up to me and grabs a hold of my chin. “I’m not him.”
“I know.” I whisper back.
For a moment Blue stares deep into my eyes as his thumb rubs across my bottom lip tenderly. I get lost in him until he steps back breaking the connection we had just had.
“Get dressed and get out before you’re late for school.” Blue then commands before tossing a towel in my direction.
He leaves the bathroom and I shut the door before leaning up against it.
With a deep breath I close my eyes and force myself to compose my rapidly changing emotions.
Gaining some composure I quickly get dressed and pull back my hair before leaving the bathroom.
I half expect Blue to be sitting on my bed again but he’s nowhere to be found.
Sighing softly I move on, grab my old book bag and then exit my room to join up with Rowan and Harley.
Downstairs I find Rowan and Harley along with Dillon and Damon waiting patiently for me.
“I was beginning to wonder if you were still going to come with us.” Rowan grunts.
Harley smacks his arm and steps forward with a bright grin upon her lips. “This is going to be a good day, Parker. It will be fun, and it will be worth getting out of the house.”
I nod and wave for us to move on.
If we didn’t leave now I didn’t know if I would be able to leave at all.
My courage was dwindling fast.
Filing outside we make our way over to a familiar truck and my bike.
I grin and run my fingers over the cool metal.
“Here, we’ll meet you at the school.” Rowan states while tossing me a helmet and my keys.
I catch them and slip on the helmet before sliding onto my bike.
Turning the key the engine roars to life beneath me and a renewed energy flows through my body.
“I can do this.” I reassure myself confidently.
With those words I rev my engine and take off down the long driveway towards the front gates of the pack community.
Passing through those gates I turn down the road and down the familiar path towards school.
This was me moving on.
Pulling into the parking lot I quickly find Rowan, Harley, Dillon, Damon, and Ariel.
Harley gives me and encouraging smile before we walk towards the school together.
Walking into school I hold my head high as I grin.
It was as if the weight of the world had been lifted off of my shoulders. I could pretend that I had been through a tragic loss.
This was just like any normal day before Gage and the others had come along.
At the end of the day I find myself in a familiar classroom.
I was alone in here this time.
Pulling out my sketch book I turn to a blank page and sigh. I hadn’t drawn anything since I had been in this classroom last.
Placing my pencil down to the paper I will my hand to move, to drawl something, anything.
Nothing happens.
My mind was a complete blank.
Mrs. Martin moves through the classroom to watch everyone else as they sketch, paint, and use whatever creative way to create their masterpieces.
She stops by my desk and places her hand gently on my shoulder. “It will come, Parker, just give it time.”
I nod and bite my lip.
Thankfully she moves on after a moment of silence.
Just when I’m about to give up drawling altogether my hand begins moving.
I stop when Mrs. Martin clears her throat at the front of the class. “It seems that we have two new students that will be joining us today.”
I don’t even look up, I couldn’t.
This was just so much like what had happened before.
“Class, I want you to welcome Emmett Smith and Ford Lancaster.” Mrs. Martin continues.
The class says their hellos and all too soon a dark shadow hovers above me.
I groan softly before looking up at Mrs. Martin.
“I know this is the last thing you want, Parker, but there aren’t any other free desks. We can figure a better seating situation tomorrow but for now could you please share your desk with Emmett and Ford.” She insists gently as she bows her head.
“It’s alright, Mrs. Martin.” I reassure her.
She nods as her face breaks out into a bright grin before walking away.
Two bodies move in beside me.
I don’t look at them let alone acknowledge their presence.
It was for good reason too considering they both smelled like wolves, alpha wolves to be exact.
The world was being quite cruel today.
When I got home I was going to have a very long talk with my father. More than likely it was going to be more of me screaming at him.
He had some nerve to do this to me.
Once again I find myself unable to drawl a thing and instead I lay my forehead against the cool surface of the table as I close my eyes.
“Dillon, tell me you don’t know a thing about the two new alphas that just walked into my art class.” I whisper through our connection.
There’s a long pause before Dillon answers me. “I did know, but before you get angry at your father you have to understand that his back is against a wall. The packs still expect you to pick one of their alphas since
you no longer have a mate.”
“Just be nice, Parker.” Dillon adds.
I curse out loud and unfortunately gain the attention of everyone in the classroom.
One of the alphas beside me chuckles until a hard slap rings out from their direction.
“Leave her alone.” A deep voice commands.
The other alpha lets out a low growl in response.
Rolling my eyes I thump my head against the table as I curse my luck.
Thankfully the bell ending the class rings and I jump up from my seat abruptly in order to flee the room before I had to come face to face with these newcomers.
Right before I reach the door I slam right into a hard body.
Strong hands come up to steady me before I fall back.
Looking up I find myself face to face with a blonde god with baby blue eyes and an easy grin. Two dimples wink at me as his eyes fill with amusement.
“I figured it would take something drastic to get you to actually look at me.” He states with a snort.
I roll my eyes.
“I’m Emmett by the way.” He adds.
“Well, Emmett, I don’t know what you’ve been told but finding a new mate is the last thing on my mind right now.” I clip out a bit harshly.
It was better to be honest now rather than have him angry later when I gave him none of my attention.
He nods in understanding. “I get it, and honestly I don’t blame you. I’m pretty much in the same position as you are.”
“I’m not, so you can show me as much love as you want.” The other alpha, Ford, cuts in.
He had shaggy dirty blonde hair and grey eyes which were dark and held a hint of danger in them. He almost looked wild.
Emmett rolls his eyes. “Shut it, Ford. The last thing she wants to deal with is you.”
“Tell me there aren’t more of you coming.” I sigh roughly.
“As far as I know we’re the only ones. If we fail then they might send more though.” Emmett answers truthfully.
“This is going to suck.” I groan.
Emmett laughs and nods his head. “You have no idea.”
“Let’s go, I’m ready to get out of this place, these humans reek.” Ford grunts as he pushes past us and disappears through the door.
“Don’t mind him much he comes from the Laken Pack.” Emmett explains.
Broken (The Onyx Wolves Book 2) Page 9