Sex and the Psychic Witch

by Annette Blair

  “Jake, you smart boy, will you take your mama back to the bedroom so she can rest?”

  “Can I take the kittens?”

  “They need to stay with us. Caramello belongs to Destiny. Warlock is Storm’s. And Gingertigger is mine.”

  “Can Tigerstar come with us, then?”

  “You know, I think she might like to do that.” It looked as if Vickie’s Tigerstar, a powerful familiar and wise to Gussie’s presence, was lending her protective instincts to Reggie and Jake, a big relief.

  Harmony walked them up the hall. “Be gentle when you tell your father about this.”

  Reggie hugged her. “You care about my dad, don’t you?”

  “What are you, psychic? Don’t tell him; you’ll scare him away.”

  Reggie laughed. “I won’t tell a soul.” She picked up her son.

  Harmony’s sisters met her halfway back. “The technocrat with the steel rod up his butt has a daughter?”

  Destiny asked.

  “Never mind the daughter,” Storm said. “Harmony’s got the hots for the father. I told you she’d been getting laid.” Storm caught her sleeve. “Is the brass ass good in the sack?”

  Destiny cuffed her. “Geez, Storm.”

  Harmony made a fainting motion with the back of her hand against her brow, and they all three hooted.

  “Listen,” Harmony said, “there are a couple of guys I want you to check out while you’re pretending to be me. I need to know if my take on them is right or if I’m blocked.”

  “If you’re blocked, it’s because some guy’s docked in your man radar,” Storm explained with a wink.

  Harmony rolled her eyes. “Check out Aiden McCloud. He’s cute in a shaggy-dog sort of way, a guy who’s at his best with a Harley or a woman under him, and whichever it is, all engines will be revved and purring.”

  “Okay, McCloud’s mine to size,” Storm said.

  “The other one’s Morgan Jarvis. He’s an architect, and—you’ll love this—a paranormal debunker. Give me your take on him before I say any more. Like us, Des, this one doesn’t seem to know who he wants to be when he grows up. You’ll know him when you see him.”

  Destiny frowned. “I resent that. I know who I am. I’m the manager of the Immortal Classic.”

  “That’s what you do, not who you are,” Harmony said. “You’re only going through the motions.”

  Destiny folded her arms but didn’t argue. The triplet thing had its uses. She was right, and Destiny knew it. Harmony sensed Paxton coming as her sisters ducked into the closet. How foolish, and yet their scheme would backfire if they became a sideshow. Better for their midsummer ritual preparations if they concentrated on their task. Every nosy question would suck their energy and diminish their collective power.

  “What the hell happened in here?” King asked. “Are Reggie and Jake okay? Are you? I thought they were with you.”

  “Good paternal instincts, Paxton.” She took his arm to lead him from the room. “We had a visit from Gussie. I have good news and bad.”

  He didn’t take either well, she thought a few minutes later as he ran up the stairs to the dorm.

  Aware the coast was now clear, her sisters joined her.

  “We have to concentrate,” Harmony said, “and work our way through this place, room by room. The negative entity is strong, so we have to be stronger. Do you have everything we need to bless and cleanse each room?”

  Destiny ticked off their supplies on her fingers. “Salt, smudge stick, black candles, water, and a broom.”

  “Here, I found a source for amethyst crystals here on the island and brought one for each of us.” She led them through the formal parlor, their kittens following. “This’ll take a few days, but the more rooms we cleanse and protect, the easier it’ll be to do the ritual.”

  “We’re doing it, then?”

  “I don’t see that we have a choice.” Harmony led them behind the small tapestry. “In a way, I’m glad Gussie expended a good amount of energy this afternoon, because our task here should be easier. Don’t worry, none of the rooms will be as difficult as this one.”

  She placed her hand on the doorknob. “Brace yourselves. We’re about to enter . . . the toy room.”

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  IN the octagon creep show toy room, the kamikaze kittens went berserk.

  Caramello hissed, hopped into the doll carriage, and bounced out, as if she’d been thrown.

  The scent of candy apples wafted in as Warlock circled the wooden soldiers like a Halloween cat, black back arched and ready for battle. He charged and hit a soldier in the chest. It toppled like a bowling pin and took out the entire regiment in an artistic butterfly-wing domino effect.

  The room rained bayonets. The girls screamed and the cats howled, but no splinters were reported.

  Gingertigger launched herself to the top of the jack-in-the-box, but the music started, and the lid popped open, so Harmony’s mewling kitten slid gracefully to the floor.

  While Harmony used a broom to sweep away evil, Destiny distributed and lit black candles, and Storm sprinkled salt and herbs around the perimeters of the room. While they prepared their cleansing ritual, the cats hissed, charged, and assaulted every toy. Caramello rode the rocking horse, Warlock the tricycle.

  Sometimes the toys went flying. Sometimes, the cats flew.

  After Harmony performed the water blessing, she lit a smudge stick and held it as they circled the room, the three of them chanting.

  “Mother Goddess, hear our prayer.

  With earth, fire, water, and air,

  Amethyst crystals bright and rare,

  Candles black and incense flare,

  The power of three as one declare

  All negative energy to beware.

  Finite peace this place ensnare.

  And it harm none; this will we bear.

  So mote it be, hear our prayer.”

  By the third circle, the cats’ hissing and bouncing slowed, and eventually they calmed and curled up together to sleep.

  “We’ve done our job,” Harmony said, “if there’s nothing here to keep the psycho cats hopping.”

  “That was more exhausting than sex,” Storm said.

  “We’ve hardly started, though this is one of the darkest rooms. Next stop, the formal parlor.”

  In the parlor, her sisters sensed Gussie’s lingering spirit, as Harmony had done, but they also sensed Paxton’s return, so they slipped behind the small tapestry.

  “Hellcat,” Paxton said. “Thank God you’re all right. Reggie said you saved their lives.”

  “She’s exaggerating. I pushed a bed over to break her fall.”

  “Which was brilliant. Reggie thinks Gussie hates her and likes Jake.”

  “She’s right. I sensed that Reggie would have broken her back if she hit that floor.”

  “What do you mean, you sensed?”

  Damn, damn, damn. “I get a sense about things, like when you’re coming around the corner, things like that.”

  “I sense that about you, too,” he said. “It’s called—”

  “Passion?” she suggested to turn his thoughts.

  “Too partner-focused, plus it requires a short-term commitment.”

  Harmony shook her head. “Big news. Lust then?”

  “Too intimate. Scary intimate.”

  “Sex, then?”

  “Okay. Where?”

  “You’re a horn dog letch.”

  “Stop it, you’re turning me on.” He focused on her shirt. “I’m a Witch with PMS. Any Questions? Part of me wants to run,” he said, “but the part that’s missed you—”

  “Gotta go ghost-hunt.” She waved him off. “Bye.”

  “You’re killing me here.”

  “Better I should than the wailer.”

  King slipped his hands in his pockets. “Right. Bye.”

  Harmony got the telepathic message that her sister
s had found a second door behind the tapestry and were exploring and circling back, so she went to the tunnel where she could concentrate on neutralizing Gussie and nobody could waylay or distract her.

  By the time she returned to the parlor, she had to stop outside the door, because Storm had walked in on Aiden boxing the chandelier.

  “Gonna pawn it for a jock strap?” Storm asked, and Harmony wilted against the wall.

  “A witch with PMS?” Aiden said. “I have an awesome cure for PMS. Are you still up for that date?”

  Harmony felt Storm’s radar go up. “I’m up for a ride on your . . . Harley.” She raised her arms and fluffed her wig to show off her breasts.

  Harmony was gonna commit triplicide. Aiden thought she was coming on to him, slam it.

  “What about you and King?”

  Storm stilled and lowered her arms. Now , she remembered who she was supposed to be. “King and me?” Storm backed away. “King’s got No Commitment engraved on his pecker.”

  Aiden raised a brow. “I’m not much better . . . at commitments , that is. Are you looking for companionship and a good . . . Harley ride, or a husband?”

  “Oh, always a good . . . ride.”

  Harmony coughed.

  “But I don’t sleep around,” Storm said, too fast to be sane.

  “Since you’re sharing King’s ‘Harley’ these days,” Aiden said. “I guess we’ll have dinner but nothing more?”

  “I . . . guess. Do you hear a baby crying?” Storm asked him.

  Aiden frowned. “No.”

  Storm backed away from him to the opposite end of the large room and started back toward him. “Hey, the crying baby is loudest when I’m near you. Do you have children?”

  Aiden barked a laugh. “Are you out of your mind?”

  “Get rid of him,” Harmony telepathically ordered, but Storm had turned and zeroed in on the full tapestried wall exuding Gussie’s energy. “Can you get someone to take down that large tapestry and bring in a couple of spotlights to shine on the wall behind it? I need to take a better look.”

  Aiden taped the chandelier box closed. “There’s nothing there.”

  “I think you’re wrong. You restore antiques, right? Have a look. A hundred years of crud needs to come off, so we—so I can see what’s beneath it.”

  “Really?” Aiden pulled the tapestry aside. “What do you think is back here? A crying baby?”

  “No, but it’s more than a wall.”

  “And you’re more than a vintage clothing buyer.” He winked. “I’ll take care of it.”

  Harmony made sure Aiden was gone before she went in and cuffed her sister.

  “Sorry,” Storm said, rubbing her arm. “I was really attracted.”

  “Brutally so, and when the hell are you not?”

  “This guy’s a whole different brand of stud, in a weird, good, badass way. Being near him gave me snapshots of . . . I don’t know; I couldn’t identify the pictures, but I swear to the Oak King that I heard a baby crying.”

  “You’ll forgive us if we don’t hop to it every time you hear a baby cry,” Harmony said. “Unless you think Aiden is maybe married?”

  “No,” Storm said. “That’s not it. But I was right about Jake crying in the boat on the way here.”

  “Okay, I’ll give you that one, but stop trying to hop on Aiden’s ‘Harley.’ He thinks you’re me .”

  Destiny joined them. “Way to pretend to be your lovesick sister, kid.”

  Harmony frowned. “I’m not lovesick.”

  Storm took exception as well. “I would have jump-started the stud, if I was me.”

  “Big surprise.” Harmony crossed her arms. “Let’s do what we came to do, shall we? Concentrate on that wall.”

  Destiny touched her arm. “I just met Paxton in the hall. Yummers.”

  “Oh, oh. What happened?”

  “He said I wasn’t myself.”

  “I saw him, too,” Storm said. “He looked puzzled.”

  “Did he try to cop a feel either time?”

  “No, damn it,” they said together.

  “Oh joy. He suspects something. We’re running out of time. He’s on to us. Concentrate on the wall.”

  Holding hands, they walked toward it, three by three, each focusing on the single place in the castle

  where a lively blaze of Gussie’s spirit lingered.

  While they did, their kittens played a hissing, head-butting, tumbling game with the tapestry and the wall itself.

  She and her sisters formed a circle, but Harmony chanted alone.

  “I received your past

  To bear in the present.

  Now open the door,

  That leads to the future.

  And it harm none; this is my will.

  So mote it be.”

  She repeated the chant twice more before Storm broke the circle so they faced the wall, though they continued holding hands. “There’s a painting,” Storm said, “behind the tapestry, beneath the layers of premeditated grime.”

  Destiny nodded. “It’s a story we need to know.”

  “Gussie’s the painter. She was happy when she started,” Harmony said, “and broken when she finished.

  You’re right, Storm. She tried to cover it up.”

  “She wants us to see it, now,” Destiny said. “And when we do, we’ll understand.”

  Storm closed her eyes. “I’m sensing forgiveness, but I don’t think it’s from Gussie. Is there more than one ghost here?”

  “Well, there’s more than one of something ,” Aiden said, “or I’m hallucinating.”

  “Don’t bet on it,” King said.

  The girls froze.

  Chapter Twenty-nine

  KING could hardly believe his eyes, yet he’d known something was up. The three of them looked identical . . . but not. There was a sameness yet a uniqueness about each, even from the back. Three dressed alike, in black statement shirts with orange lettering. PMS, indeed. A good ruse that would explain the little differences, should someone come upon the wrong . . . triplet? . . . unexpectedly. He’d nearly mistaken one, or two, of them for Harmony. Nearly. But not quite.

  “I think we’re having the same hallucination,” Morgan said. “You three act like you know what you’re doing, I’ll give you that. I can’t wait to see what’s on that wall, if anything.”

  “I can’t wait to see you side by side,” Aiden said. And when they turned, he raised a victory fist in the air, and shouted, “Yes! I wasn’t talking to Harmony most recently, was I? Which sassy witch was that?”

  King saw the one in the middle wink.

  “I admit,” Morgan said, “that I thought Harmony was one of the most beautiful women I’d ever met, and now I’m seeing triple, but I can’t tell which one’s Harmony. Bet you can’t either, King.”

  “Oh, but I can.”

  Like Morgan, Aiden went for his wallet. “We’re taking that bet.”

  King strolled over to Harmony, the one whose chin rose a notch higher, whose nipples pebbled when he got close, whose eyes revealed disbelief, whose lips parted in invitation. He looked her in the eye, hooked an arm around her waist, and kissed her senseless. Half a second into the kiss, she returned his enthusiasm, her fingers tangling in his hair. Definitely his. Well, not precisely his .

  Morgan swore, and Aiden whistled.

  King knew he should break the kiss, but he couldn’t seem to get enough.

  “Go, Daddy!” Reggie cheered.

  And he’d had enough. King stepped away from Harmony while his daughter applauded. King’s ears got hot, so he was sure they were beet red. One of Harmony’s sisters gravitated to Aiden like a homing device.

  “How long have you two been here?” King asked the newcomers.

  “Hours,” Destiny said. “We saw you trying to make out with our sister.”

  The discordant sound of music turned them to the piano. The kittens were dancing on an
d off the keys.

  Morgan pulled aside the tapestry and palmed the wall. “You really think there’s a mural behind the grime?”

  “We do,” Harmony said. “Aiden, Morgan, King, this is my sister Destiny, and the irreverent hussy is Storm. We’re triplets.”

  “And you all think you’re psychic,” Morgan said.

  “Takes one to know one,” the three of them said together.

  “You’re psychic, besides being a witch?” King asked Harmony. “How does Morgan know?”

  Harmony raised her brows. “How does Morgan know?”

  Morgan stepped back. “From the way you were reading a painting that doesn’t exist.”

  “Oh.” Harmony sat on a sofa. “He’s the debunker, Des.”

  “So he says.”

  Harmony looked from Morgan to Destiny and shrugged. “Whatever.”

  Jake held up three fingers. “Free.”

  “That means three,” Reggie explained.

  “Three of us, yes, and I already know that you can’t say Harmony.” She kissed Jake’s hand. “But can you say Honey, instead?”

  “I can say Honey.”

  It’s settled then. “You can call me Honey.”

  “Free Honeys?”

  “No, I’m Honey, that’s Dessie, and that’s Storm.”

  Jake nodded. “Honey, Dessie, and Strom.”

  “Figures,” Storm said, picking him up. “You get the easy name wrong.” She held him close and kissed his brow. “Say Storrrrrrm.”

  “Strommm.”

  Storm held Jake tight for a minute, which didn’t seem at all in character, King thought.

  Two workers were taking down the tapestry. “Can we get those spotlights up?” Harmony asked.

  “Aiden, how long will it take you to clean the wall?”

  “A couple of hours, maybe more. Depends on how dirty it is and what medium was used . . . in the event anyone painted anything.”

  “Gilda has supper ready,” King said. “Let’s eat first.”

  Harmony touched his hand. “We need a few minutes to change.”