Be Careful What You Wish For

by Barbara Watson

  He smiled. He would like very much. “1900 hours?” he suggested.

  Seven nodded. “I’ll see you then,” she said, then turned and left.

  Exercising one of his newer freedoms, custom designed by the mother of his new favorite Klingon, the Doctor prepared for the next step in his own personal journey. “Computer,” he called out. “Initiate subroutine Omega 2A.” With that, his obsolete uniform was replaced by the gray shouldered style they would all be wearing now.

  As he put the finishing touches on the last of the ship’s medical files, he began to contemplate the design of his new ‘quarters’....

  ~*~*~*~*~

  With her crew’s departure spread out over the course of an entire day, the captain couldn’t avoid a sense of disappointment that this most anticipated of moments held so little fanfare. She did see the wisdom, though, of letting her people get readjusted to their lives and families with some measure of privacy. There would be a lot of interest and attention paid in the next weeks and months. It was probably just as well that today’s reunions were low-key.

  Her own first night home would be complicated, she knew. Her sister would meet her at the transport site. After an all-to-brief reunion, they would head to Mark’s home to get Molly. Phoebe had offered to pick up Kathryn’s dog herself, but—after facing everyone from the Borg to the Vidiians—Janeway wasn’t about to be frightened off by one harmless ex-fiancée. Besides, there was some closure she knew she needed in saying a final goodbye to the man she’d once loved. Afterward, they would transport to Phoebe’s apartment and studio just across the bay in Berkeley for a quiet dinner at home.

  The plans had been made for days, but somehow Kathryn decided to improvise a slight change in her itinerary. She left her meticulously packed quarters for the short trip down the hall. She wasn’t totally surprised to see his room a mess. “Need a hand getting packed?” she called out as she entered.

  Her first officer’s head peeked around the bedroom wall. “I’ve changed my mind. I’m not going,” he joked. “Just have the repair crews work around me.”

  She laughed. “Isn’t it amazing how much ‘stuff’ we’ve collected while on replicator rationing? I was tempted to recycle half of my things just so I wouldn’t have to pack them.” He knew this was a lie meant to make him feel better about his own overgrown collection of things. Kathryn was a collector, a ‘pack rat’ as Tom had called her once. She’d no more recycle her precious possessions than he would.

  “I’ll tell you what,” Chakotay offered, “just throw everything into the nearest crate. I’ll sort it all out later.” She laughed and started doing just that. In short order, they had everything ready to go. Like Tom and B’Elanna, he would be taking only the basics with him to his new quarters: a few newly-replicated uniforms, some civilian clothes, his Akoonah and medicine bundle, and a few datapads. He stuffed them all into his duffle bag then took a look around his home for the last time. Then he turned to face her.

  “Thank you,” he said with great sincerity.

  “I told you it wouldn’t take very long,” she said referring the their packing, and totally missing his meaning.

  Chakotay looked at her for a long minute before he continued. “Thank you for giving me this opportunity,” he clarified. “For rescuing me and my crew, for trusting me enough to make me your first officer. For being such a good friend. I owe you everything, Kathryn.”

  She didn’t know what to say. “Thank you,” was what came out. “For being willing to try it my way. For all the times you knew I was wrong, but stood by me anyway. For being my partner and my best friend.” She took a step toward him and took his hand in hers. “Thank you for not giving up on me.” She pulled him to her and hugged him tightly.

  When she finally pulled back, she remembered the reason she had come to visit him in the first place. “Do you have plans tonight?” she asked a little tentatively.

  “No,” he answered. “My cousin is away on a Vulcan archeological expedition, so there’s no family waiting to meet me. But I just assumed you’d want some time alone with your sister.” When she looked up at him, Chakotay noticed how vulnerable this tough, strong woman seemed tonight.

  “I’m anxious to see her,” Kathryn admitted. “But I...after everything we went though to get here, it just seems wrong to spend our first night home apart.” She searched his face for validation. “Does that seem silly?”

  He could only smile. “No. In fact, I wanted the same thing. I just didn’t want to intrude on your time with Phoebe.”

  Kathryn was relieved. “You wouldn’t be intruding. Actually, she’s looking forward to meeting you.” He wasn’t sure why that comment made him nervous. Kathryn now seemed anxious to start their evening. “Well then, I just need to make sure the rest of the crew has gotten down safely and I’ll get ready to go.” She pulled away and headed toward the door. “I’ll see you in a few minutes.” She smiled at him one last time and headed back to her quarters.

  As he watched her leave, Chakotay couldn’t help but wonder if this was the start of their lives as a couple. As he began to change clothes for their departure, he couldn’t help but face the reminder of all they still had to overcome before leaving their ranks and duties behind. He held the new issue uniform in front of him and sighed. Soon, he thought. Very soon.

  ~*~*~*~*~

  Kathryn had seen her sister in letters from the datastream and then live on her viewscreen as they got closer to Earth. Somehow, that hadn’t prepared her for the seven-year-older woman who met them at the transport site. Her ‘baby’ sister no longer had the flawless skin of a thirty year-old. If Kathryn wasn’t mistaken, those were the beginnings of wrinkles at the corner of Phoebe’s eyes. It only reinforced how much of each other’s lives they’d been forced to miss. It also made her wonder how different she now looked.

  “Welcome home, Kath,” Phoebe said as they embraced. “My god, where’s your hair?!”

  Chakotay smiled. He knew Kathryn was wondering why everyone made such a big deal about her hair. “It was impractical.” Janeway explained. “Three years into the trip I hacked it all off.” Her sister couldn’t hide her disappointment. Phoebe was an artist, and Kathryn’s long red hair had been the captain’s one nod to aesthetics and romance in an otherwise—in her sister’s opinion—dry scientific life.

  “Well, it will always grow back,” Phoebe reassured her, instead making Kathryn just a touch insecure. It was about this moment that the younger Janeway realized the identity of the man standing next to her sister. “So, I guess this must be Chakotay,” she said smiling—not at him, but at Kathryn. The sly look in the woman’s eyes now made it the commander’s turn to feel a little insecure. He was nothing if not charming, however, and he decided to make a good first impression on this woman who he hoped would be a part of his life for quite a while.

  “It’s good to meet you, Phoebe,” he said extending his hand. She threw her arms around him instead.

  “You, too,” she said with great enthusiasm. “I’ve heard a lot about you,” she said, more than a little cryptically. “Mother’s looking forward to meeting you.” That raised a question he had forgotten to ask. The sisters filled in the gaps for him.

  “When is she getting back to Earth,” Kathryn asked.

  “Not for another month,” her sister answered. “She’s on the only Federation ship in the sector, and Starfleet had to dispatch a transport to go get her. You know Mother; she was furious that she didn’t know you might be back so soon. She never would have gone so far away if she thought she’d miss being here for your homecoming.”

  Kathryn turned to Chakotay and filled him in. “Mother is coordinating a project for the Federation cultural ministry and the Cardassian government to help salvage works of art and other artifacts damaged or lost during the war. It’s really just a way to help diffuse the years of hostilities.”

  Phoebe added some of the latest news. “Rumor has it that the Cardassians are making overtures for Federation ai
d and assistance in rebuilding. Very controversial, as you might imagine.” It was hard for Chakotay to think of yet another Federation/Cardassian alliance without instantly feeling the rush of anger he had lived with as a Maquis. Yet he knew these were different times, and that the Dominion War had changed everything, several times over. He’d reserve judgment—for now.

  He was happy, though, when the conversation turned away from politics. Phoebe had grabbed her older sister’s arm as they began to make their way toward the exit. “Well, I know Mother is sorry she can’t be here, but there is one other old girl who will make quite a fuss about your return.”

  Kathryn smiled sadly. “If she still recognizes me after all these years.” She turned to her sister as they reached the main doors. “Are you sure Mark doesn’t mind our coming by to get her. Molly’s been his dog for the past seven years.”

  Phoebe knew Kathryn wasn’t really worried about Mark’s reaction to returning her dog. She was really asking if Mark minded seeing her again. “I think he feels like giving up Molly is the least he can do to make up for...,” Phoebe watched Chakotay out of the corner of her eye before she continued. “Well, let’s just say I think he wonders how you really feel about his moving on with his life after you were lost.”

  ‘How I feel about his marrying someone else,’ Kathryn thought. It was funny. Though part of her had been sad to hear of Mark’s marriage, another part of her was relieved. By the time her ‘Dear John’ letter had arrived, her own heart had moved on as well. And she was grateful to him for keeping Molly. Now, with the promise of a new life with a new love, she realized she’d be happy to see her old friend and former flame one more time. Her reply was for Chakotay as well as her sister. “He shouldn’t be worried. I’ve moved on, too. I just hope he’s as happy with his new life as I am with mine.”

  With that, they stepped though the door, and into the warm, fading sunshine of the California summer evening. Kathryn slipped her hand into Chakotay’s and squeezed it gently. He leaned over and whispered into her ear. “Welcome home, Kathryn.”

  She turned her eyes to meet his, not even bothering to wipe away the tears. “I can’t believe we’re really here,” she said softly. “I can’t believe we made it.”

  They stood there for a few moments, just drinking in the familiar sights and smells of this place they had known so well. In another lifetime, or so it seemed. After a moment, they headed for the underground transport that would take them to Mark’s home in the Olde Mission District. This would be only the first of several surreal moments they would experience in the next few hours.

  Mark was still living in the same house she had helped him pick out over a decade earlier. Kathryn could never figure out why he’d want to live in such an old place—one of the few to survive the big quake of 2294—when the newer homes had so many more modern conveniences. Still, it was a quaint and charming place, and she had grown fond of it over the years. Particularly the handcrafted stained glass door at its entrance.

  There were two reunions to be had behind that door, she knew. One would be about bringing closure. The other—hopefully—about finding a lost love. It was the later that caused her the most anxiety. Chakotay could tell she was nervous, and tried to be reassuring. “Dogs never forget their people, Kathryn. She’ll know you. Don’t worry.” Still, as they waited for a reply to the doorbell, her stomach did small cartwheels.

  When he answered the door, they both stood there awkwardly. Finally, she made the first move. “Mark,” she said as she leaned over to hug him.

  His eyes were tearing up as he returned the embrace. “Kath, you look wonderful. It’s good to see you.” He pulled the door open wide, “Please come in.”

  The three stepped inside, and Kathryn couldn’t help but notice the lack of a big red dog in the room. Her anxiousness caused her to overlook an important introduction. “Hi,” she heard him say, “I’m Mark Johnson. And you are?”

  She turned as he answered. “Chakotay. I’m Kathryn’s...first officer.” True, though less than complete.

  Mark sensed as much, but was hardly in a position to comment. “It’s nice to meet you,” he said, before realizing the frantic look on Kathryn’s face.

  “She’s in the yard,” he said. “I’m sure she can’t wait to see you.” He led them through the house to an immaculately landscaped enclosure behind it. Before they were even though the door, a large Irish Setter bound toward them, a wet tennis ball in her mouth. She dropped the ball at Mark’s feet and sat at attention. Kathryn’s face fell. The dog didn’t even sniff her.

  “Good girl, Chloe,” he said as he took the ball. “Now, where’s your mother?” Of course. This dog was too young to be hers. It was one of the puppies Molly had been carrying when Kathryn left on her ‘three-week’ mission. Before Mark could explain, Kathryn saw a blur of red out of the corner of her eye, walking as fast as four old legs could maneuver, a fluffy tail wagging wildly.

  “Molly!” Kathryn called to her. The old dog picked up her pace and threw herself at her mistress, who was suddenly sprawled on the grass and covered with more kisses than she’d had in the last seven years combined. “My Molly,” she said, in the moments when she could come up for air. “I’ve missed you sweetheart.” She reached out and hugged the big dog to her, her hands reflexively scratching the same spots she knew to be Molly’s favorites. They sat together on the grass until Kathryn had scratched or rubbed every inch of the dog’s fur. Any doubts she’d had about being remembered were put to rest forever.

  When they came back inside, Mark invited them to stay for a cup of coffee. Kathryn politely declined. “It’s been an exhausting day,” she said truthfully. “I’m anxious to get settled in.” He pretended to understand, and she didn’t bother to reassure him. They would be friends again one day, she knew. But for now, it was probably best that they keep a little distance.

  Phoebe took the doggie bed and favorite toys while Chakotay clipped on the leash and led Molly outside. As Kathryn turned to say goodbye, Mark decided to risk it. The answer might make him feel better about the way things had ended up. “So,” he asked, “do you love him?”

  She was caught off guard, but smiled. “Yes. He’s a good man, Mark. I can’t imagine my life without him.”

  He smiled, then took her in a warm embrace. “Then he’s the luckiest man in the world,” he said sincerely.

  She pulled back and touched her hand to his face. “Take care of yourself,” she said gently.

  He took her hand from his cheek and kissed it. “Maybe we can have lunch after you get settled in,” he said. “I’d love for you to meet Janelle.”

  “I’d like that,” she said before turning to go.

  When she reached the bottom of the steps, Mark saw Kathryn take the leash from her first officer’s hand, then watched as the man put his arm around her shoulder as if it were destined to be there. “Bye, Kath,” he said under his breath. He noticed she didn’t look back.

  Phoebe’s apartment was a large loft in a converted warehouse in Berkeley’s old arts district. Most of the buildings dated from the late 20th century; anything older was turned to rubble in the big quake. All windows and tall ceilings, Phoebe’s home also served as her art studio, and featured a rather eclectic collection of half-completed paintings and sculptures. She had cleared out an old storage room on the lower level for Kathryn’s use. It would be her big sister’s temporary home until she could sort out her life.

  Molly took no time getting settled in, her well-worn bed carefully placed alongside Kathryn’s. The trip from San Francisco had exhausted her, and Kathryn realized the toll old age was taking on her girl. The dog was sound asleep in less than ten minutes.

  Phoebe replicated a nice vegetarian dinner—Kathryn noticed her sister’s kitchen was, as usual, practically empty—and they sat around talking for most of the evening. Phoebe and Chakotay seemed to hit it off, sharing the same interest in spirituality, art, and ancient cultures. It was funny, she realized: her impulsive, head-i
n-the-clouds sister was actually much more like Chakotay than she was. Rather than annoying her as they once did, her sister’s ramblings now seemed compelling and fascinating. Had Phoebe changed so much, she wondered, or had Kathryn—perhaps through her relationship with her first officer—come to appreciate the parts of her sister that had once seemed to irresponsible and flighty?

  Phoebe, who had once tagged along uninvited everywhere her older sister went, had also seemed to develop a better sense of when Kathryn needed to be alone. After dinner, she placed their dishes in the recycler, and excused herself.

  Chakotay considered leaving, too. It was now almost midnight, and he hadn’t even seen his new quarters. The last thing he needed was to be found wandering around Starfleet Headquarters lost in the middle of the night. He could tell, though, that Kathryn wanted him to stay. Once again, he was caught squarely between his heart and his head. Granted, there was no bed check back at the dormitory. But he still couldn’t figure out when it would be safe for him to let down his guard and truly relax about his relationship with this woman who was still his captain.