Goodbye Secrets

by Jacquelyn Ayres

  I roll my eyes in response.

  “Who the fuck would buy those like that ... on purpose?”

  “Sweetheart, who the fuck would buy purple pants on purpose at all?”

  We are both in stitches. He pulls his PJs off and slips into the purple jeans.

  “Oh God!” I laugh and get up to run to the bathroom—surely I would almost be pissing my pants even if I wasn’t pregnant!

  “How did you get these?” he yells.

  “Melissa picked them up for me,” I say as I come out of the bathroom. “And then proceeded to tell me we were fucking weird when I started cutting them.” I finally get my giggle under control.

  “Well, I don’t know how you are going to top this, you clever, funny girl.” He kisses my forehead aggressively.

  “You keeping those on?” I ask, my stupid grin still intact.

  “Yes, of course, darling! Let’s see what’s next!” He claps his hands and rubs them in anticipation. I can’t contain my mirthful smile as I hand him the wrapped album. I sit next to him as he unwraps it. “An album,” he announces, as if I didn’t know. It’s made from thick, professional-quality black leather. He opens it and roars again with laughter.

  The first 8” x 10” is of me in a short, tightly curled, red-headed wig. I’m wearing a blue tracksuit and tan orthopedic shoes, and holding rounded glasses to the side with the chain in my mouth. Grayson is crying, he’s laughing so hard.

  He turns the page and “Shelley” is on a mechanical bull, making an exaggerated “O” face with one arm in the air. In the picture on the opposite side, “Shelley” is walking with her legs far apart, a look of pain on her face. Grayson’s laughter has shifted to a girlish giggle. He wipes his eyes and turns the page. He leaves the book on his lap and falls back in hysterics.

  “Oh, Becca, I can’t take anymore!” he practically cries. He sits back up, rubbing his face with his hands. “Sweetheart, you are truly amazing.” He kisses me dramatically, then looks back at the page and begins laughing again.

  The new shot is of “Shelley” with a partially unzipped track jacket. She pushes her liver-spotted titties up (it’s makeup, of course). She’s winking and her tongue is flipped out, touching her top lip seductively. In the opposite picture, “Shelley” has her leg up on her walker with her pant leg raised enough to show off her TED stocking as she blows a kiss.

  He turns the page. “Shelley” is in a muumuu, pulling the elastic neckline down and making an “oops” face. Next, she’s lying on her side on a shag carpet in her housecoat. She pets the shag carpet with an eyebrow arched suggestively. He turns to the last page to find “Shelley” on her knees, her face exaggerated to look like she’s climaxing and chained glasses bouncing against her liver-spotted titties. Grayson is holding his stomach.

  “Christ, Becca ... you have me laughing like a little girl!” He nudges me.

  “In purple pants, no less.” My eyebrows dart up as I check him out.

  “You are, without a doubt, fucking crazy, sweetheart!” He pulls my face to his. “Who did this with you? Where? When? How did I not know?” He pulls away.

  “Claudia, the hall, a week ago, and I’m awesome.” I laugh.

  “You are, sweetheart, you really are,” he says with wonder, and kisses me again.

  “It’s good to see you laugh, baby.” I pat his cheek before grasping his chin and kissing him again.

  “You’re the only person who’s ever had the ability to make me laugh like that. I never knew what true happiness was until I met you, Becca.” He holds my hand and pulls it to his lips, laying kiss after kiss on my knuckles. I find myself overwhelmed by his words with no great, joking comeback. I decide instead to kiss him once ... twice ... mmm. Grayson gently pushes me onto my back. “I have something incredible to give you, sweetheart ... and the pants to back up that statement.” He chuckles lightly against my lips.

  “Oh, well, I think you might need the last personal gift to help you with that.” I reach over to the little box and stare into his eyes, feeling anxious about his reaction, about the gift.

  “Becca, I have something personal for you, too, which I worked really hard on. I’d rather give it to you the day after Christmas, though, if you don’t mind.” He seems unsure of how I might feel.

  “Okay.” I don’t mind, really. I’m more focused on what I’m about to give him.

  “Do you want me to open this?” He sits up, allowing me to do the same.

  “Um ... yes.” My voice shakes.

  GRAYSON

  Why is she so nervous about this gift? Christ, I feel my anxiety level rising just looking at her. I turn my focus to the small, square, jewelry-sized box. I unwrap it and pull the lid off. I can’t help but take in a sharp breath.

  “I asked the doctor. She said it was okay,” she offers—barely audible—when I look at her, my eyes wide. I focus back on the box, not believing my eyes. I’ve wanted this. I’ve sort of nagged about it, even though I know what George did to her. I swallow hard and take the condom and K-Y Jelly out of the box.

  “Becca ... sweetheart, you don’t have to do this.” I look at her again. She seems so shy and embarrassed all of a sudden. Her reaction to me opening this gift somehow makes her look even sweeter. “I know I’ve baited you on this subject, love, but I don’t need you to do this.”

  “I want to, Grayson. I want to give you all of me.” She looks up into my eyes, her face bright red. We sit in silence for a few moments before she starts giggling again.

  “What?” I smile, giving her a strange look.

  “Um ... of all of the times I pictured you opening this gift, your reaction, and what I would say, I never once imagined you in purple pants.” She laughs. I join her. I do look pretty silly for a moment such as this.

  “Becca.” I get serious again. “We’ll go slow. If you change your mind or want me to stop, I will. I know what he did to you. I don’t want you to suffer through any flashbacks.” I run my index finger up and down the arm she’s leaning on.

  “Okay, but I’m pretty confident it will not be the same.” She moves closer to me and leans up for a kiss.

  “Sweetheart, you’re trembling.” I squeeze her hip.

  “Sorry.” She takes in a deep breath.

  “Becca, relax, darling. I want to make love to you first ... the usual way.”

  She closes her eyes and exhales. I lightly rub my lips against hers. She pulls back slightly, then rushes forward, allowing me to deepen the kiss with the slip of my tongue. I quickly tug her shirt off, then return to her mouth. I feel her work at the button of my new pants. I help her pull them off of me. Her shorts follow as well. My mouth goes on a tour of her body, savoring every inch of skin it covers.

  “Gray.” She gasps as I bite down on her nipple. I work my way down to her stomach and my tongue dives into her navel. I work her slowly, and her hips go into a frenzy. I still can’t believe I can make her come this way! “Gray ... oh God, baby.” She fists my hair as she climaxes.

  “I do love the way you buck, Becca.” I look at her as she finishes her last quake.

  “Shut up!” She laughs and slaps my shoulder playfully, then gasps as I bite at the apex of her groin. I kiss her pencil dot of a beauty mark, and she stills. Hmm, maybe that affects her the same way it does me when she kisses the one under my eye. I kiss her there again. She sits up and pushes me to my back. Her mouth attacks mine with a sense of urgency. I grasp her hips as she climbs on top of me. Her lips travel across my jawline to my earlobe.

  “Lay back and close your eyes, baby. Relax. I’m going to take my time tasting you,” she says softly in my ear before she pulls my earlobe into her mouth. She takes my hands from her hips and places them on either side of my head. “Eyes closed, Grayson,” she commands again. I close them and try to wipe the smirk off of my face. Her lips travel down my neck and across my chest. She pauses on her journey to pay extra attention to my nipples, kneading them between her teeth. I feel an overwhelming electric current to my g
roin. I can no longer control my breathing. My hands dive into her hair.

  “You’re not following directions.” She places my arms back up by my head. “What shall I do about that?” Christ, she’s driving me mad. “Be a good boy.” She pecks my lips before she continues where she left off. My abs tighten as she traces them with her tongue. I fist my hair as her tongue dives into my navel. Every muscle in my body twitches with anticipation as she travels down my happy trail. She bites playfully at my V-line. Her nails lightly tickle my inner thighs as she runs them up and down, then she grasps my hips and holds them still.

  “Keep your eyes closed,” she warns.

  “Yes, sweetheart.” I breathe and feel her weight leave the bed. “Where are you going?”

  “Shh.” She climbs back on after a moment. “Eyes closed!” she snaps when I lift my head to look.

  “Ugh.” I lay my head back down. I feel her tongue circling the tip of my penis. “Ahh ...” I gasp as she blows on it. It’s tingling and cool. She cups my balls and gently pulls them back away from my shaft. “Becca!” I’m panting now. She takes me into her mouth and sucks purposefully before she lets it slide out. She blows on it again. The tingling and coolness is more intense. She playfully bites down my length before she takes me in again. Her sucking becomes so intense I feel as if I’m going to lose my mind. And that tingling ... what is that from? “Becca ... please ... please, sweetheart,” I beg breathlessly as she continues to tease and please me unmercifully.

  “C’mon, baby ... I want to taste you.” Her words, barely a whisper, are my undoing. “Mmm,” she moans as I slowly spill into her mouth.

  “Oh God, Becca!” I groan and feel my toes curl as my orgasm climbs powerfully up to the pit of my stomach. “Ugh!” I groan harshly one last time and pound my fist into the bed. I try to steady my breathing as Becca soothes me softly and slowly with her mouth. There’s something so delicious about what she’s doing. It’s comforting enough to put my whole body at ease. She blows on me one more time, sending a chill throughout my whole body. I open my eyes as she climbs up to greet me.

  “Hi.” She bites back her sheepish smile.

  “You look like an angel, but you are quite the devil, aren’t you, sweetheart?” I touch her face, tracing her cheekbone. She turns into my palm, kissing then biting at the center. I pull her face to mine and attack her lips urgently. I’m aching terribly for her, so I smack her bum. She can take on some of that ache.

  “Again, baby please.” Her request is barely audible. I spank her again and watch her face as she takes in the sting. God, she’s so bloody fucking hot! “Grayson, you’ve got me in quite a state. What are you going to do about it?” she asks as she plays softly with my bottom lip. I squint, trying to figure her out. She rolls her eyes and shakes her head as she leads my hand down her body. A lightbulb shines brightly through the fog of her domineering theatrics. I no longer require her guidance.

  “Jesus, sweetheart, I don’t believe we’ll need the K-Y.” I smile against her lips.

  “Uh, nope.” She nudges my nose with hers. I quickly roll her onto her back and wait for her to finish giggling from my unexpected move. Finally, I have the audience of her beautiful green eyes.

  “Becca.” I stare into them.

  “Grayson.” Her smile reaches every part of her face.

  “You are the greatest love of my life.” Her smile fades, I imagine because my words overwhelm her. “Our love is the kind of love that is felt forever, no matter what happens. We will always be in each other’s hearts. It’s pure, it’s unconditional, it’s real, and nothing will ever take away from the memory of it or its value.” Her eyes fill up and a slight look of confusion comes over her face. Shit, Grayson—put your filter back in place! I distract her thoughts with my lips.

  “Grayson.” She pulls away. “I am leaving with you. I am marrying you. I promise, baby. I’m coming with you.” She grabs my face for emphasis. I offer her nothing but a mischievous grin.

  “Well, let’s see about that,” I say before I quickly enter her.

  “Gray!” She takes in a sharp breath.

  “Shh ... no more talking.” I’m relieved as her “we need to talk” face dissipates and her hips join mine in their familiar groove.

  “You feel so good, baby,” she says, the words almost a whimper as my thrusts become more powerful. I pull back and plunge into her again, holding it for a few seconds to allow her to feel my fullness. I pull her hips up to me and grind my way higher until she can’t take anymore. I pull back and slowly fill her again. This is a love/hate situation for her—I know it drives her mad. And I do love to drive her mad ... sexually, of course. Her pleas ignite my fire more. Mmm ... here she goes. Her neck arches.

  “Oh God, baby ... oh God.” Becca praying in bed—still the best sound in the world. I’m distracted as she squeezes around me. Christ, she’s a champ at Kegels! I feel the rush coming on and I quicken until the tingling pressure builds up in my shaft. I slow my pace, savoring the sensation as I erupt inside of her with such aching pleasure. I love when we come together. I rest my forehead up against hers as we both try to collect our wits and steady our breathing.

  “I’m sorry, sweetheart.” I take in a deep breath. My fingers trail down to her right breast and circle her nipple.

  “For what?”

  “You’re going to be extremely exhausted tomorrow. I’m so starved for you—I don’t believe I’ll be able to stop tonight.”

  “Well, I’m good for one more, then it’s lights out for me, baby. I’m so tired I could probably sleep right through it if you need to have another go after.” She tosses her arm across her forehead.

  “How rude!” I say, shocked. “Surely you would awaken if I took you after you fell asleep—you have before.”

  “Of course, don’t worry your precious little ego. I’m just merely giving you an idea of how tired I am.” She leans up on her elbows and studies me.

  “What?” I rest my chin on her chest and look up at her.

  “Nothing ... I don’t know.” She shakes her head.

  “You must know what you are thinking, Becca. Please tell me.” I lift my head up so our eyes lock.

  “I’m just always trying to figure you out. Am I ever going to, or will I always be trying?”

  “Sweetheart, you’ve had my number since the moment we met, don’t underestimate yourself.” I tap her nose.

  “Hmm.” She sighs and looks away.

  “You think too much, darling.” I turn her face back.

  “I’ve been accused of worse.” She smiles and plays with my hair. Immediately my heart sinks. I’ve called her much worse to her face, over and over again. “Gray ... ?” She pulls my chin. I see the lightbulb going on. “I meant that figuratively, not literally, baby.”

  “I know, but I’ve still been a complete arse to you at times.” I sit up.

  “Hey, hey.” She pulls my arm, turning me to her. “I’m not exactly blame-free,” she offers.

  “There’s no excuse for my behavior, Becca! I should’ve never treated you like that, or said those things to you!” I’m absolutely disgusted with myself.

  “Well, you know,” she quirks her mouth into a side smirk, “if the purple pants fit.” She shrugs, and I can’t help but laugh.

  “Speaking of incredible ... ” I pull her forward for a kiss.

  “Ready for another shag, love? Want to have another go then?” She tries to imitate me—poorly, as usual. I just laugh at her and shake my head. “You want to sweep my chimney?”

  “Oh, Becca—shut-up—for Christ’s sake, sweetheart!” I laugh and attack her mouth, then pull her to sit astride me. “Just once more tonight?” I ask against her lips. She nods before she collects my lips again. I reach over and grab the condom. Becca immediately begins to tremble. “I don’t have to do this,” I say quickly.

  “Grayson, stop talking about it, please,” she says. I go to toss it away. She grabs my hand. “Stop talking ... just do it. I trust you and I lo
ve you.” She opens her eyes and stares deeply into mine. I offer her the condom and she tears the packet open. Slowly she slides it onto me. “Do you want me to turn around?”

  “Yes, love. Becca?”

  “Shh.” She places her finger on my lips before she kisses them. Becca climbs off and turns around. “How do you want me, baby?” she asks, looking over her shoulder. Half of her thick, wavy hair has fallen out of her ponytail, but it still looks pretty. She is beautiful. I can see it ... can feel her trust in me ... her love. I run my lips across her shoulders as I reach between her legs from behind. She’s drenched from our earlier tousle. I spread our natural lube around, bringing it up to her bum. Becca’s breathing becomes extremely erratic. Mine matches as I slide something incredibly hard up and down her center.

  I wrap my arm around her waist as I enter her in the usual place first. She physically relaxes back onto me and slowly rides me. Her hips move erotically, welcoming my hand’s play at her clitoris. I grab the lube and snap the cap open with my free hand, squirting some onto my thigh. Tossing the bottle aside, I wipe the lube off with two fingers and slowly part her bum cheeks. Becca stops for a moment, but I work at her clit, my lips at her shoulders—to keep her focused.

  “That’s it, sweetheart,” I breathe against her ear and gently insert one of my fingers. Becca whimpers softly and I almost come undone at the sound. “You’re doing so good,” I whisper and add the pressure of my second finger. After several minutes, Becca finally seems not only acclimated to, but enjoying the feeling of extra pressure. Her body is so relaxed now, working at thrusting herself against me and my fingers. I continue to distract her as I pull them out, then myself, bringing extra fluid with me to run up and quickly enter her bum. Maybe a bit too quickly.

  “Grayson.” She gasps and stills herself. I hold still as well, except for the kisses I trail up her neck to her ear.