Jaden Baker

by Courtney Kirchoff

  They should’ve been on the top of all adoption lists.

  Jaden listened at the bottom of the steps. He heard no sounds from above, so they were probably sleeping.

  He was flattered they trusted him not to steal.

  Jaden tiptoed to Jenny’s office and powered on the computer. After a minute, and a heart wrenching moment when the computer announced its powering-on with a loud triumphant musical note, he opened a web browser.

  Jenny was some kind of technology consultant and spent many hours on the computer. But he wasn’t interested in her job. It was boring. To not be able to adopt a brand new human and instead settle for a hand-me-down, there had to be something wrong with them. A criminal history, most likely.

  Derek was some kind of lawyer, proving Jaden’s theory that something was amiss. If he had legal clout, why not get a baby? Something in his or Jenny’s past had upset the adoption gods.

  He could sort of see Jenny being a former drug addict. Perhaps she loved THC and added it to her food, or sold it out of her house. Maybe she had a juvenile record of grand theft auto. A vision of the young Jenny, steering a Dodge Viper, a joint in one hand, came to mind.

  He typed “Jenny Kauffman, Napa California” and hit Search.

  The first clickable link was a social networking profile. She kept most information between herself and friends, but listed her maiden name: Clanker.

  “Clanker?” he mumbled to himself, smiling. If she committed larceny or arson, she’d probably done so as Clanker.

  Nothing interesting rose to the surface. Disappointed, he decided Derek had to be the real criminal mastermind. A pimp in his former life?

  When he searched for Derek’s name, a few legal websites popped up. Most of the sites contained information about cases he had argued. One website gave Derek’s curriculum vitae. Boring, boring, boring.

  Maybe they were normal and crime free, a thought which should have eased his mind, but did not.

  Upstairs, people walked. Jaden shut off Jenny’s computer and scrambled into the living room. What was a newly acquired kid supposed to do at 7:45 in the morning? Make himself comfortable? Raid the fridge? Sit on the couch and await their arrival? No, that’s creepy.

  He settled for sitting at the counter and looking through a magazine.

  Jenny arrived first. She smiled, yawned and went right for the coffee.

  “Morning,” she said. “You’re up early.”

  Oh. Yes. Saturday morning is for sleeping in. That’s what he should’ve been doing.

  “Yeah,” he replied and flipped a page in the magazine.

  “You like Pottery Barn?” she asked.

  Images of couches and lamps materialized on the pages, and he realized his attempt at camouflage failed.

  “Um,” he said, and looked into her smiling face. “I guess. It’s something to do.”

  Jenny had unnaturally, probably-purchased-monthly white blonde hair, pink chubby cheeks, and a small nose. Though she had a gym membership (which he discovered after rifling through her purse the previous morning), she was plump in the stomach. Her smile was her best feature, radiating kindness. The beaming grin had a calming affect. When she walked, her slippered feet shuffled on the floor.

  “Still not comfortable?” she asked.

  He sighed and shrugged. “Not yet.”

  “Is the bed too hard?” she asked, squinting.

  “No, it’s fine.” Jaden wished he had more to say, as small talk was not his thing. Big talk wasn’t either, and he wasn’t going to comment on the damn weather. The situation hadn’t gotten that bad. He only answered questions, and they didn’t ask too many of those.

  Derek came stomping into the kitchen (The Kauffmans were noisy walkers), and yawned. He was a tall, thick man, with large upper arms which stretched his shirts. He rubbed his chest, then his balding head, and accepted a cup of coffee from Jenny. Derek sipped, winced, then set the cup on the counter. “Hot,” he said.

  “Astute,” Jaden said, flipping through the magazine.

  Jenny’s eyes widened and her eyebrows arched. Derek’s friendly smile bordered on laughter.

  “What?” Jaden asked, and they grinned.

  “You joke. We didn’t know you were sarcastic,” Derek said. He laughed to himself, then pounded into the living room with coffee in hand.

  Jaden spun on his stool. Derek had some sort of fancy electronic device, more than a phone but not yet a computer. He sat on the couch and read something from the e-reader. People read stuff in the mornings with coffee, too. Weird.

  “I’m not good at small talk,” Jaden said. Jenny sat across from her husband with a matching e-reader.

  Derek set his device on the coffee table, and crossed one ankle over his knee. “Me neither. What do you want to talk about?”

  Jenny looked between them and sipped her coffee.

  Jaden squirmed in his seat. He wasn’t sure if it was appropriate, but then again, as a foster child, he wasn’t expected to be appropriate. They probably expected him to flip out and carve wiccan symbols in the furniture.

  “Have either of you been arrested?” Jaden asked.

  Derek made a face. “No,” he said.

  “Oh.” Jaden thought for a while. There goes that theory.

  “Why do you ask?” said Jenny.

  “Just wondering.”

  “People don’t ask those kinds of questions for no reason. What’s up, Jaden?” she asked. “You can ask us anything.”

  Though she said his name with gentleness, he hesitated to ask. He wasn’t sure if he came with a thirty day warranty, and didn’t want to be returned to his group home. The Kauffmans were nice people—he was pretty sure.

  “Some people get arrested. I just wanted to know if you had.” Which was true.

  Derek rubbed his mustache between his thumb and fingers.

  “How about we play a game?” Derek said.

  Jaden fidgeted. “What kind of game?”

  “Twenty questions. We ask ten about you, you ask ten about us. We have to answer all the questions you ask, but you can pass.” Jenny smiled at her husband’s idea, and set down her reader.

  Not the worst idea in the world, even if it was juvenile. He hopped off the stool and sat on the edge of the couch, with Derek on the other end. Jaden nodded at him.

  “Okay,” Derek said contemplating the ceiling, trying to think of a first question. “What do you want to be when you grow up?” he asked.

  Typical adult question, Jaden thought. Safe. One he rarely pondered. Most of his nine years concerned the present and escaping undesirable situations. Little time was spent thinking about the future, much less what he’d do with it. He liked a few things, like playing basketball, watching television, and reading as many books he could get his hands on. He could not think of a fitting career.

  “I don’t know yet,” he said. “I like basketball,” he offered instead.

  Derek smiled. “Me too.” He grinned over at his wife. “Next question goes to you.”

  He’d drop the big question later, if he needed. Best to stick with the general questions early on. “Okay,” he started, “why did you become a lawyer?”

  Derek smirked. “That’s what you want to know?”

  “Yes,” Jaden said. “People hate lawyers.”

  “Well, my father was a lawyer, and I like to argue and win. I wanted to help people get what they deserved.”

  “Money’s nice?” Jaden said, eying the big screen TV.

  Derek nodded. “I won’t complain. That’s two questions.”

  Jaden tried to hide his smile. “You are a lawyer.”

  “He’s good,” Jenny said.

  “Our turn. Jenny, you ask something.”

  “If you could be any animal, what would you be?” she asked.

  Very psychobabbly, Jaden thought. This question was designed to get into his head. If he said a bird, it meant he wanted to fly away from his problems. If he said a bear, it meant he felt weak and powerless. Every animal
was symbolic, there was no getting around it, even if said he wanted to be a jellyfish.

  “A fox,” he replied.

  As expected: “Oh, they’re very sly and clever. Your turn.”

  Jaden stared at his hands, his stomach churning. All he could think of was asking the question. He had to know he wasn’t going back. Despite their silly, little game, Jaden knew they read his history, knew almost everything about him. Knew when, where, and whom he was born to, where he grew up, what landed him into the foster system. It was lopsided.

  “Which one of you can’t have a baby?” he asked.

  To his surprise, neither of them was surprised. They didn’t even look at each other to communicate telepathically. Jenny stared straight into Jaden’s eyes and answered truthfully.

  “I can’t. We can get into details later, after we’ve known each other longer, if you still want to know. Derek and I tried adopting a baby,” she continued, like maybe she did have telepathic powers, “but we got tired of waiting. We wanted our own family and we found you.”

  Jaden studied his hands again. His mouth was dry and there was a burning behind his eyes.

  “That’s what you really wanted to know?” Derek asked.

  Jaden nodded.

  “We wanted you, Jaden,” Jenny said. “We want you to be our little boy.”

  The words were kind ones; he felt something strange in his stomach. Not butterflies, more like stinging wasps. She meant what she said, but it didn’t feel real, not to him. The situation felt awkward.

  Perhaps the conflict was evident on his face, for Derek and Jenny showed concern, as if what they said hadn’t been kind and considerate, but poisonous.

  “We don’t want to replace your real parents,” Derek said. “No one can, we know that. We want you to be a part of our family, too.”

  “That’s right,” Jenny chimed in. “Part of our family.”

  Their answer sounded too sappy to be believed. A canned response. Trying to avert what they thought might be a crisis or unholy temper-tantrum, Derek and Jenny bullshit an answer together. Here he was, relieved he wasn’t replacing a dead child, when they faked apprehension about replacing his parents. They didn’t care. They wanted to replace his mother. Would it be so hard? She wasn’t winning trophies.

  Their anxiety about his reaction was more flattering than anything heretofore, even more than their trust that he wouldn’t steal anything and get the hell out of here. They cared enough to lie.

  He decided not to argue. Derek and Jenny knew who his mother was; she was easy to best. Despite her glowing accomplishments, the Kauffmans knew Jaden foolishly had a soft spot for her.

  Eventual adoption was a big move, which logically meant they did want him, and wasn’t that what mattered? From the looks of things, even if he had a warranty, they weren’t going to use it. Unless he completely screwed up.

  Jaden cleared his throat. “It’s your turn to ask a question.”

  Right on cue, both of the Kauffmans sighed, tensed muscles relaxed.

  “Okay then,” Derek said. “Favorite basketball team?”

  “The Kings. Duh.”

  Jenny made a face at her husband. “Duh, Derek.”

  “Well duh. What am I, an idiot?” Derek said back at her.

  “Not very astute,” she replied, winking at Jaden.

  “What’s your favorite team?” Jaden asked.

  “I actually like the Lakers. I went to school in LA, so...”

  “So you root for losers?”

  They both laughed.

  The game of twenty questions went forgotten. After a hasty breakfast, Derek, Jenny, and Jaden piled in the car (an Infiniti sedan), and drove to the high school for a game of round robin. Ignoring the dry heat was a difficult task. A few hours later, drenched with sweat, and after a great deal of posturing, Derek lost several games. Jaden never missed a shot.

  On Monday, day seven of the New Life with the Kauffmans, it was time for Jaden’s mental check up, more commonly known as therapy. Jaden likened therapy to popping the hood of a car, to see what kind of damage, if any, had been done to his delicate and sensitive little brain and psyche.

  Jaden didn’t like therapy and insisted he didn’t need to go. But the Kauffmans decided, per his social worker’s advice, that he would continue going anyway. They insisted it was “for his own good.” Supposed benefit excuses many things.

  After persistent and intense arguing, Jaden found himself in the back seat of the air conditioned car, headed into town for therapization. He had lost this battle, but that wouldn’t stop him from arguing in the future.

  The drive was long. Because Jaden was a small talk amateur, the drive was also silent. To fill the quiet space, the Kauffmans played a CD, and Jaden was sure it was the same crappy music played in snooty buildings. Non-committal piano interspersed with clarinet and saxophone. Yawn.

  Jenny smiled assuredly at him when they arrived. Maybe she thought her smile would make the therapy easier. It wouldn’t, but Jaden gave her some credit for trying.

  “Maybe it won’t be forever,” she said. “We’re only following Lyle’s advice.”

  “Lyle’s a jackass,” Jaden said, staring out the window. He slapped his hand on the unlock button and slowly slid from the car. Derek and Jenny followed him into the overly cool building.

  They sat in the waiting room, and the Kauffmans pulled out their e-readers. Jaden slouched in his chair, his nose almost level with his knees, and stared across the room. His eyes glazed over as he allowed the printed wallpaper to blur into a jumble of colors. Oh how he hated it here.

  After seven minutes of waiting, the office door opened, and Anita emerged with a decaffeinated smile on her faded red lips. Her hair was curled today; dark brown ringlets with streaks of natural gray brushed the tops of her shoulders. Jaden assumed she was in her early fifties or late forties. Anita reminded Jaden of a peacock, maybe because her face was thin and small. Jaden slid off his chair and stomped into her office.

  Anita’s office had yellow walls, shelves stuffed with toys, a red and yellow striped rug on a wood floor, and two chairs in the center of the office. Bean bags were stashed in a corner for the little kids to sit on. He assumed all child therapists must arrange their offices similarly; Originality was not something they prescribed.

  Jaden took the arm chair Anita pointed out, and she sat opposite, crossing her legs and smiling again.

  “Well,” she said, in a throaty voice, “it’s been one week.”

  “So says the calendar,” said Jaden.

  “How has it been with the Kauffmans?”

  “Fine.”

  She raised her eyebrows. “Would you like to elaborate? What have you three done?”

  Jaden shrugged. “I don’t know. The first few days we didn’t say much, just kinda stared at each other. They’ve never had a foster kid before. They’re new. Then we played basketball on Saturday.”

  Anita folded her hands over her lap and nodded again. She was a nodder. “That sounds nice.”

  “I asked them why they couldn’t have a baby,” he offered.

  “Did they tell you?”

  “Sort of. I didn’t want to hurt Jenny by asking too much.”

  Jaden’s main goal in therapy was to keep the conversation away from his past. He didn’t mind telling Anita things he had said or done recently, but he avoided talking about the “traumas of his childhood.” Jaden assumed this must have frustrated Anita, as the issues he didn’t want to discuss were the reasons he was forced to attend therapy.

  “That was nice of you.”

  “I guess. She said she wanted me to be part of her family, or whatever.”

  “They’re nice people.” She said it almost like a question.

  “I think so.”

  “But you’re not sure?” Anita asked, leaning forward.

  Jaden leaned farther back into his chair and brought his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. “It’s only been a week,” he said.

&
nbsp; She nodded. “Have you been sleeping all night?”

  Jaden swallowed, but did not answer.

  Anita nodded again. “Why aren’t you sleeping well?”

  “I don’t know,” he said. He found a spot on the chair to pick at.

  “You’re staying awake at night on purpose?” she said, and when he looked up at her, she continued. “You have shadows under your eyes. The Kauffmans bought you a new bed and you have your own room, right?”

  “Yes,” he said. “It’s weird being in a room alone.”

  “That’s not why you’re keeping yourself awake.”

  She circled him like a shark, coming closer to deeper issues. He’d already thrown too much chum. “Derek likes basketball, too. He’s a Lakers fan, but I think we can make it work.”

  “You two have something in common? That’s good. What do you like best about Jenny?”

  “She makes great French toast. She puts cinnamon and vanilla in the eggs. That’s what we had this morning for breakfast. They took this week off work, too, like last week.”

  “To get to know you better.”

  He shrugged, but knew it was the correct answer.

  “Why are you afraid of that?” she asked.

  His bottom lip seemed to be swelling. “I’m not,” he said.

  “No?”

  “No...”

  She cocked an eyebrow. “Jaden, I’m not going to tell them what you say. You can tell me what’s worrying you. It’s between us.”

  “I’m a minor, I don’t have the rights of an adult.”

  “I’m not going to tell your new parents what you tell me. I promise.”

  It stung again. She had stung him on purpose for a reaction, to watch him squirm. He chose not to react to the new parent comment.

  “I’m not worried about them.”

  “Why are you keeping yourself up at night?”

  More like a ninja than a therapist. Anita knew how to corner him and make him talk. After seeing her for three years, he wondered why he hadn’t figured out a way around her tactics. She had him in a tough spot: wounded by the parent comment and scared of her question’s answer. Responding to either would make him surrender private information and eventually lead back There.