Jaden Baker
Page 25
His diet was mostly juice, fruit, and bread. Joseph and his team noticed Jaden’s fading health, but there were benefits. The constant torture sessions had ended, though Joseph hadn’t quit cold turkey. He favored pushing his little button whenever he thought Jaden did something to upset him.
These days Jaden went out of his way, spent hours thinking and analyzing his encounters with Joseph, to find every little thing he did that Joseph punished him for. Sometimes it was looking the wrong way, not speaking fast enough, speaking too soon, or not doing something just right. Seth assured Jaden that even if he did exactly what Joseph wanted, he would punish him regardless.
“It’s what he’ll always do,” Seth said. “It’s how he is.”
One day Jaden preempted any pain with an apology. Logically he thought it was the only thing he could do. Before Joseph asked him to perform any menial or great tasks, Jaden apologized for anything he might do wrong and begged for Joseph to show mercy. His eyes fell just below Joseph’s neck, not daring to look him in the eye. He saw, to his somber delight, that Joseph was pleased.
“Admitting your faults is a big step,” Joseph said.
Jaden nodded. In his periphery he saw Seth smile sadly.
What do you know, Jaden thought miserably. He’s never hurt you. You don’t know what it’s like.
“I don’t blame you,” Seth whispered. “I don’t judge you.”
The words worked. Joseph left without asking Jaden to do anything at all. Shortly after his departure, a large tray of delicious food came down the elevator shaft, more than Jaden had seen in a long time. He devoured it.
Many more meals like that followed, without the company of Joseph who had apparently taken a hiatus from the facility. He was nowhere in sight, and Jaden was thrilled yet terrified about the significance of his absence. He appreciated the peace and recovery time, but it also made him wonder what was going on. Seth was close-lipped about Joseph, and Jaden got the impression he knew more than he let on. When Jaden pressed him, Seth insisted he didn’t know.
“We both know he’s up to something. I just don’t know what,” Seth said.
“But you have a theory,” Jaden hissed at him as he ate his lunch.
“A theory isn’t an answer.”
“I want to know what you think,” Jaden said.
“Dalton was gone a lot leading up to the presentation,” Seth pointed out, and after he mentioned it, Jaden realized he was right.
He frowned. “You think there will be another one?”
“Think logically,” Seth said. “You think you’re just a science experiment? They want to use you for something.”
“What?” Jaden asked.
“I don’t know,” he said, “nothing good. Dalton was all about the medicine. He had you do molecular stuff, like he was planning on you being a doctor. Joseph’s not that way. He’s got a different idea of how to use you. Obviously this place, whatever it is, is bigger than Dalton and Joseph. These men report to other people. It’s got to be a huge organization.”
The more Jaden asked of Seth, the more he believed what he said. Seth had a knack for guessing the truth and demystifying situations, which proved reliable. It was when Joseph returned that Jaden understood just how right Seth was.
In the entire time Joseph had been in charge of Jaden, he had never once asked him to use his PK abilities, opting instead for tightening his grip and strengthening his dominance. Once he returned, though, Jaden was completing daily exercises like the ones Dalton had him perform, in a test room upstairs from his cell.
There were no mirrors in the test room, instead there were two cameras in diagonal corners. Jaden was locked in the room alone and received his instructions from an intercom in the ceiling. He followed all orders accurately, so he wouldn’t give Joseph any excuse to torment him. Some days it was simple, like moving objects around the room, other times it was more destructive. Joseph instructed Jaden to destroy things, like shattering a glass pane into dust then siphoning all the particles into a paper bag; shooting ball bearings through some kind of thick yellow gel; throwing knives into a wicker wall.
“Ah, so you’re a weapon now,” Seth said.
No one cared how Jaden did what he did. It was all about what else could he do. Ironically, no one set him advanced anatomical tasks like remote strangulation or heart palpitations; then again, that was the ace up his sleeve. Jaden sensed Joseph felt limited with the kinds of things he could have Jaden do. Leaving knives in a room for him to hurl at a wicker target was a small risk. Nothing larger or more menacing was given to him.
sixteen
He’d forgotten. After days of sleep depravation, he was bound to make an error, and Jaden forgot to wait for permission. The sincere and desperate apologies were interrupted by continual and prolonged jolts which left him twisting and thrashing on the floor, howling and begging for it to stop, promising he wouldn’t do it again, that he was so sorry he made a mistake. He was tired and it slipped his mind, he promised it would never happen again.
Dinner had been revoked as a form of payment for his sin, in addition to the already doled out punishment. Of course he understood, he’d made a mistake and it was only fair that he pay for it. He was sorry, he repeated it over and over as long as he was allowed to speak.
When he was returned to his cell, Jaden hid himself in the corner, under the mirror. He gathered his legs to his chest and wrapped his arms around his knees, rocking himself back and forth, thinking about what he had done. He hadn’t thought clearly. It was his mistake, how could he have been so careless? He knew better than to do anything without being told.
“It wasn’t your fault,” Seth said, sitting across from him.
But it was. He knew Joseph analyzed every movement he made, and Jaden had been sloppy. It couldn’t happen again or the punishment would be worse. He was lucky to have gotten off so easily.
“He set you up to fail,” Seth whispered, grabbing Jaden’s knees. “Stop thinking like this.”
“No, no, no, no,” Jaden said in a raspy voice, rubbing his palms into his eyes, shaking his head. “I-I-I was-was-wasn’t thinking. I-I was stu-stu-stupid. You should have stuh-stuh-stopped me.”
Seth took Jaden’s head into his hands. “Take three deep breaths.”
Jaden did as Seth instructed. The deep breaths stopped the stuttering and stalled the panic.
The incident repeated in his head, as if he saw it from another person’s point of view. He had made so many mistakes.
“Stop it,” Seth whispered. “Jaden, this isn’t who you are. You can’t let him have your mind. You set that aside long ago. He can’t have that. Remember your rules?”
Jaden took a deep breath and exhaled as he nodded. “Yes, I remember.” His rules with Dalton hadn’t transferred over to Joseph’s facility. He had become obsessed with following Joseph’s rules, forgetting his own.
Listening to the change in his voice was an effective way to mark the passage of time. It was permanently scratchy and rough, as if someone had raked his vocal chords with barbed wire. He attributed the change not to hormones or genetics, but to his throat being subjected to electricity, repeated screaming, or his failed attempt at death. While he did not think four years had passed, he knew it had been at least one. One long, miserable year.
“He gave you permission to sleep tonight,” Seth said. “I think it would be a good idea.”
The moment Seth suggested it, Jaden’s eyes felt heavy. He lay in the corner, curled in a ball like a cat, and shut his eyes. Maybe tomorrow Joseph would forget Jaden’s mistake and forgive him for it, let him start fresh. It might be best to apologize again, show him how sorry he was for the blunder.
“Think about something else,” Seth said, as he too lay down.
“Like what?” Jaden asked.
“Like...like candy.”
“Candy?” Jaden asked, opening his eyes to see Seth’s face. “What about it?”
“Anything about it. Peanuts and caramel. Chocol
ate.”
Jaden shook his head and shut his eyes again, drifting off to sleep. “I can’t remember.”
“One day you will,” Seth whispered. He hummed the same tune tonight as he had last night and the night before, softly at first, then louder as he reached the middle.
“Don’t you know the words?” Jaden asked.
“Yes,” said Seth, and he sang them. “Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree / Merry, merry king of the bush is he / Laugh, Kookaburra! Laugh, Kookaburra! / Gay your life must be.”
Jaden made a frown but did not open his eyes. “Where did you learn it?” he asked Seth. “How come I can’t remember the words but you can?”
“It was a long time ago,” Seth answered.
“Oh,” Jaden said, the answer not as comforting as the song.
The following morning Jaden had a large breakfast, which he shoveled away, starving from no dinner the night before. He had to take many small bites instead of fewer big bites, as Joseph said it wasn’t polite to eat like a barbarian. Since someone always watched, he was careful.
When the motor engaged, Jaden set his fork and knife on the plate in the correct way, with the prongs face down and the knife next to it. Fortunately he had finished his meal. If he hadn’t, it would’ve gone to waste.
Jaden walked to the middle of the room and stood, his hands folded behind his back, eyes forward but not looking up. His feet and legs were locked together in perfect alignment. His back was straight, his shoulder’s alert. The mental checklist was almost complete, his heart sank when he remembered he hadn’t brushed his teeth. Joseph was coming too soon after his breakfast and he hadn’t had time to wash up.
Two men were on the elevator.
“Good morning,” Joseph said.
“Good morning, sir,” Jaden answered. “Please forgive me, I did not brush my teeth.” He hoped that would be enough, but held his breath anyway.
“An oversight,” Joseph replied. “I brought a visitor.”
Jaden kept his eyes low, unable to discern the visitor’s identity. He wouldn’t look until he was ordered to. The apology had been acknowledged, not accepted. There was a possibility Jaden would pay for his error.
“Jaden?” said the second man in a familiar voice.
Dalton walked to him and placed his hands on Jaden’s shoulders. Jaden’s kept his eyes down.
“Why won’t you look at me?” Dalton asked. “Why won’t he look at me?” Dalton asked Joseph.
Joseph chuckled to himself. “Because I haven’t told him to. He only does what I tell him. Unless he’s feeling rebellious. We can share ownership, just for today. Jaden, you must do what Dalton asks. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir,” Jaden said. Did that mean he should look at Dalton now or wait for him to ask again? The dilemma made him nervous and he hoped someone would clarify.
“It’s okay, Jaden. You can look up.”
So he did.
Dalton face showed little change. His hair was shorter, still wavy and tinted with sun. Like always, he wore a colorful tie, today it was muted green and beige. The bright blue eyes locked onto Jaden’s face; they gazed with pity and regret.
“What did he do to you?” Dalton whispered. His eyes roved over Jaden’s blank face, to the scar on his neck, then to Jaden’s arms and hands. Dalton took them in his own and stared with wide eyes at the hard coverings sewed onto Jaden’s wrists, to the scarred hands.
“What did you do?” Dalton asked, facing Joseph. “What did you do?”
Joseph’s smile vanished. “I did what you wouldn’t.” He approached them, grabbed Jaden’s left forearm and raised it up, pointing to the hard covering. “I had to get him under control. We couldn’t have a repeat of what happened to you, now could we? It took a long time before Jaden here finally saw the error of his ways.
“He tried to kill himself during the acquisition process. He slit his wrists then tried to slit his throat. We put a stop to it and made sure it wouldn’t happen again.” He dropped Jaden’s arm. “I’ve done what I’ve had to.”
Dalton shook his head. “You brutalized him,” he said.
Soft laughter returned to Joseph’s voice. “Don’t lecture me about my methods. What I did worked. You put a muzzle on the wolf. I housebroke and domesticated him.”
With the two of them arguing, Jaden worried he would receive the brunt of their frustration in the form of pain. If only he could get to his corner and stay out of their way.
“I want a word alone with him,” Dalton said firmly.
Joseph considered for a moment, then smiled. “Fine. Say your goodbyes.” He made to leave when he suddenly turned and grabbed Jaden roughly by his hair and ear. “You belong to me and you follow my orders. You’re not to say one word to him. He does the talking. If you utter a sound, you know exactly what I will do to you,” Joseph growled. “Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir,” Jaden said.
“Good.” He shoved Jaden away then left the cell, ignoring Dalton.
The two of them were alone.
Dalton furrowed his brow and shook his head. He took Jaden’s shoulders in his own hands and dropped his head.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t want this for you.”
For a moment Jaden forgot Joseph. Dalton was remorseful for what he had done. He started everything, took him from a life he barely remembered. Broken body and soul, Jaden stood before his captor and wished he could say the words that beat like sledgehammers in his head. Dalton was the reason he had been tortured, humiliated, and stripped of everything. Here was the man responsible for Jaden’s life of abject misery and pain, and he was powerless to do anything about it.
Jaden looked into Dalton’s pathetic, desperate eyes with coldness and loathing, hoping his glare and grimace portrayed the deepness of his disgust, his sorrow and his rage.
“I’m sorry,” he said again. “Please say something,” he said.
Jaden bit his lip and gave a tiny shake of his head. He would do as told and wouldn’t speak a word or make a sound. Time stretched, the two staring at one another, and Jaden wished for the moment to end. There wasn’t anything he could do to Dalton and he was restricted from saying anything. The purpose of this meeting was to assuage Dalton’s guilt, an activity Jaden resented.
Then Dalton did something Jaden had not expected. With wet eyes and a quivering bottom lip, Dalton pulled Jaden into an embrace. Out of instinct, Jaden put his fists on Dalton’s chest and pushed him away.
Dalton pulled back, saddened. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
The motor powered on and the lift came down. Jaden folded his hands behind his back, aligned his toes, and stared at a point on the wall opposite him, his gaze going through Dalton’s solid form.
Joseph descended. “Time to go, Chad.”
The once confident man retreated with heavy shoulders. “Bye, Jaden,” he said with a hollow sort of voice. He joined Joseph on the lift and the two rose out of sight, Dalton’s eyes fixed on Jaden as he ascended.
When they were gone, Jaden sighed. He waited a few minutes but Joseph did not return. He brushed his teeth, washed his face and hands, then huddled in his corner, thinking.
“That was weird,” Seth said, and for the first time he looked worried.
Jaden nodded, unsettled by Seth’s expression.
“Whatever they’re doing, they’re going to do it soon,” said Seth, watching the wall.
“How do you know?” Jaden asked.
“Dalton said goodbye.”
If Jaden was to remain here forever, then there would be no need for goodbyes. Dalton could see Jaden whenever he liked, could watch with a glass barrier between them. If Joseph allowed Dalton to say goodbye then Jaden was going somewhere. Or it was the end.
“They’re not going to kill you after all this,” Seth said. “They’re going to do something else, I don’t know what. We have to get you out of here now.”
“You’ve said that for a long time,” Jaden said quietl
y.
“You’re losing faith in me?” Seth said. “I made you a promise and I’ll keep it.”
“Sure you will,” Jaden said, rising now because the motor engaged. He knew Joseph would come down again, he only hoped it wasn’t to hurt him. Seth got up and stood beside him, assuring him he would help. But Jaden couldn’t think of that now. He had an ominous feeling.
Joseph walked in, blowing puffs of air through his lips and pacing in a circle. Jaden felt cold—he had seen that pace before. His mind raced as he replayed everything that happened since Dalton visited. He hadn’t brushed his teeth. Would he be punished?
“That was interesting,” Joseph said, shuffling his feet against the floor. “Chad Dalton’s a friend of mine. He doesn’t understand how difficult you can be. I promised him I only do what’s necessary to keep you in line. You and I understand each other now, don’t we?”
“Yes, sir,” Jaden said automatically.
“Indeed we do,” he muttered. “For the most part you behave and do what you’re told. There are occasional slips, and I have to correct them, otherwise how would you learn. Do you know what mistakes you made today?”
Seth spoke first. “He didn’t make any,” he growled. “He doesn’t deserve what you want to do to him.”
Jaden saw no difference in Joseph’s demeanor, but then why would he? No one heard Seth.
“I didn’t have time to brush my teeth before you came,” Jaden said, that was all he could think of.
“I forgive you for that. You had only just finished when I came in with Dalton, I checked with the observer. I’m not unfair. Can you think of anything else you did without my permission?”
“No, sir,” Jaden said. “Dalton wanted me to say something but I stayed quiet like you told me. I didn’t say anything to him.”