The Girl in Steel-Capped Boots

by Hill, Loretta

  Lena laughed. ‘Dumb arse.’

  ‘I couldn’t have put it better myself.’ Sharon stood up and was about to take her leave when she remembered something. ‘By the way, Ethel’s given me a new donga.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘My air-conditioner finally broke down completely and they can’t get a new one installed for weeks – easier to move.’

  ‘Okay.’ Lena nodded. ‘What number?’

  ‘B15,’ Sharon said over her shoulder and then waved goodbye.

  Much to Lena’s delight, the extra skid and crane idea turned out to be an easy sell. Carl had a meeting with Dan the next day and he wanted new ideas for improving productivity to present to him.

  They got approval and mid-week Lena’s team started fabricating the new skid. It was now time to go shopping. Up until this point, she had considered herself to be rivalled only by Robyn as a serious consumer. But even her best friend couldn’t say she had gone bargain-hunting for a crane, much less bought one and for a good price too.

  On Friday, the HR manager awarded the communications coordinator positions. The weekend passed quickly and they started in their new roles on Monday. It seemed to work really well, for which Lena was glad. She had another team meeting with Dan on Wednesday. With the bitter aftertaste of their last encounter still clinging to her, she didn’t want to be anything less than impressive when they broke their unspoken code of silence.

  On the appointed day, Carl drove Gavin, Fish and herself to the TCN offices in his ute. They were greeted at TCN reception with the usual antics. The receptionist was rude and kept them waiting at least fifteen minutes. When Dan finally walked into the meeting room, a file of drawings under one arm and a notepad in the other, Lena’s doodles were almost covering a full page in her notebook. She hastily ripped it out and shoved it at the back of the book. Dan put his things on the table, nodding to each of them in turn.

  The sexy stubble was in full effect but this time he had dark rings under his eyes to match. His lips were tight as he looked at her. There would be nothing but professionalism today and probably more than a little criticism. Lena sat up straighter and collected her thoughts.

  ‘Good afternoon,’ he said. ‘Thank you for coming. I guess we should get right to the point.’

  And he wasn’t kidding. He flipped open the drawing file and began lecturing them on a number of design changes that had occurred since they last spoke. Gavin and Lena frantically took notes while Carl argued. In the end, compromise was reached and new drawings would be released the following week. That sorted, they moved on to quality issues. The hottest topic, of course, was the trusses due to the initial bad paint job. But between Lena and Carl, they managed to reassure Dan that it was a problem of the past.

  They spoke about progress last, no doubt because it was the touchiest subject. Dan was surprisingly gracious. While he was still unhappy with Barnes Inc’s status, he praised their improvements so far. In fact, in Lena’s view it was all going dandy until the topic of the communications coordinator was raised by Dan.

  ‘The transition between day and night shift seems to be a lot smoother.’

  ‘Yes.’ Lena nodded. ‘The communications coordinator scheme seems to be working well.’

  ‘A good idea,’ Dan nodded. ‘Let’s hope Mike has more like that in the future.’

  She blinked. His words were so shocking that for a moment she thought she must have heard him wrong. ‘Mike?’

  Dan looked up impatiently from his file notes. ‘Yes, I spoke to him yesterday on the wharf. He said you interviewed all the site supervisors about the problem and he suggested the idea.’

  ‘He what?’

  ‘Lena.’ Carl shot her a warning look as if to say, ‘Do we really need to debate this when there are more important matters?’

  She sat there fuming in silence, fisting her hands in her lap till the knuckles turned white as they moved on to another topic. She didn’t hear what was said for the rest of the meeting. Her focus was on Mike and whether she’d prefer to hang him over the side of the wharf by the back of his jocks or by the scruff of his neck.

  ‘Okay, so we’ll leave Lena here to wait for those.’ She caught the tail-end of Carl’s parting statement and jumped.

  ‘Sorry?’

  Once again, Carl’s annoyed expression rested on her and it was all she could do not to hunch her shoulder petulantly.

  ‘Dan is going to answer and sign off a couple of our urgent TQs now. Can you wait for them and bring them back to the office? I’ll let Sharon know she has to pick you up on the next bus run.’

  She cleared her throat. ‘Sure.’

  Gavin and Carl got up from the table and left the meeting room. Dan’s cool expression swept her face, his mouth twisting with clear dissatisfaction. ‘You’d better come with me.’

  Lena followed him through the guts of the client workplace to his own private office at the back of the open-plan area. He sat behind the desk and gestured for her to take a seat in the visitor’s chair. And then, as though she wasn’t even there, he opened one of the files on his desk, withdrew a couple of sheets and began ticking things off. She’d never felt more invisible in her life – which was probably his intention.

  After about ten minutes, and with a heavy sigh, he lifted his pen from the page and looked at her. Even this one concession seemed to cost him. ‘All done.’ He pushed the papers across the desk to her. ‘You know your way out of here, don’t you?’ he asked.

  ‘Yes.’ She got up, went to his office door and then shut it. She turned back, to his startled expression.

  ‘What are you doing?’

  Lena returned to her seat and sat down. ‘We need to talk.’

  He shut his eyes and leaned back in his chair as though gathering patience. ‘No, we don’t.’

  ‘But I need to apologise for –’

  His eyes flew open. ‘Apology accepted.’

  ‘I also wanted to let you know,’ she began slowly, ‘that you needn’t worry I’m going to tell anyone about what I know.’

  His nod was abrupt. ‘Thank you.’

  ‘I wouldn’t do that to you or your family,’ she continued.

  His fingers tapped on the desk. ‘Good. If that’s all?’

  She glared at him in frustration. ‘No, that’s not all.’ Couldn’t the man just lay down his arms for ten seconds?

  He sighed. ‘Lena, I don’t think we need to talk about this any more than we already have.’

  ‘Fine.’ She shrugged, shooting him another glare and standing up. ‘But you look terrible.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘You look like death with a hangover.’ She let her eyes rove over him pointedly and he reached up, brushing the bristles on his chin with thumb and forefinger.

  ‘Is this about me not shaving again?’ A spark finally lit his dulled eyes.

  ‘It’s more than that.’ She put her hands on her hips. ‘Look, I’m sorry that I stumbled on this secret of yours, but if I can help in any way –’

  ‘You can’t help me.’ He pushed at the desk impatiently and his chair rolled back. He stood up also and went to the window. She could tell that the ocean views did nothing to calm him.

  ‘I know you can’t turn to your family,’ she said quietly. ‘It must be hard.’

  ‘What do you know about my family?’ he demanded harshly.

  ‘Only what you’ve told me,’ she made haste to reassure him. ‘I remember you telling me a while ago that relations were strained.’

  His laugh was bitter. ‘Strained is hardly a strong enough word. My sister-in-law holds me personally responsible for her husband’s death, my mother, who always favoured Mark, never wants to speak to me again and my father only stays in contact to keep tabs on what might be said in court. The one member of my family who doesn’t hold
anything against me is my two-year-old niece. But how could she, since I’ve never been permitted to meet her?’

  She opened her mouth to speak and shut it again. What could she say to that? What could she say to someone whose entire family hated them?

  Lena licked her lips. ‘All the more reason to have a friend in your court. Er . . . pardon the pun.’

  He finally turned away from the view to eyeball her. ‘You and I aren’t friends.’

  She tried to smile under his frosty gaze, but couldn’t quite manage it. ‘There’s no reason why we can’t be, is there? I mean, I know I’ve been a bit insensitive in the past but that was only because I didn’t know what you were going through –’

  ‘Okay, let me rephrase this so you understand.’ He pressed his thumb and forefinger together to enunciate his words. ‘I-don’t-want-to-be-your-friend.’

  Lena’s ribcage contracted, killing one heartbeat. ‘W-why?’

  But he didn’t answer the question, instead he went in for the knife twist. ‘I don’t want to talk to you about my problems. I don’t want to be barricaded in my office with you demanding answers. I just want you to stay away from me.’

  There was only so much bashing pride could take and as Lena saw her own lying there unconscious before her, she decided it was time to salvage what little was left of it and get out of there. She didn’t look at him as she gathered the papers she had waited to collect.

  ‘I’m sorry to have overstepped my bounds. It won’t happen again.’

  ‘Lena –’

  But as she turned away, she realised he was right. This situation was absolutely none of her business. Besides the fact that trying to be his friend when she knew she secretly had feelings for him was likely to get her hurt. Was she so far gone that she could now ignore what had happened with Kevin?

  Get your act together, Lena! You’re better than this!

  ‘You’re right.’ She nodded without meeting his eyes. ‘There is nothing more to say about this. Goodbye, Dan.’

  And as she shut the door behind her, she shut it on her heart as well. It was high time she put up some boundaries . . . no matter how difficult that was.

  * * *

  The only thing that kept Lena’s head held up for the rest of that day was her vendetta against Mike. Having words with him about his false claim to credit helped in some way to fizzle her frustration concerning Dan. Not that it changed Mike’s attitude in the slightest. He was just too smug: he counted this blow as his first win. She had a word to Carl about it later and, although he was actually rather apologetic about what had happened at the meeting, he basically told her to let it go. Without seeming like a petulant child, there was not much else she could do. So Lena put the whole scenario into her Lessons Learned box. She just had to be more careful in future.

  With this in mind, she turned her focus to the trusses, writing detailed method statements for their installation. Carl approved them without blinking and life seemed to be moving along much more smoothly. She was more and more certain that Dan’s rejection had been ‘for the best’.

  There was no use in pointless internal diatribes, involving questions like,

  Why doesn’t he want to be my friend?

  What’s wrong with me?

  Doesn’t he trust me?

  The obvious truth was she was clearly nothing to Dan – or at least, nothing more than an annoying colleague who knew too much. Her feelings for him were her own problem, not his, and she had to cure herself of them quickly.

  Thursday and Friday came and went without incident. Disaster did not strike again, until around five am on Saturday morning, when a really weird nightmare woke Lena early. She was living in England, trying to visit Dan at his mansion in Bath. His rude butler not only wouldn’t let her in, he also set the dogs on her. She was about to be mauled by a hungry purebred when her eyes flew open and she sat up with a start.

  Whoa.

  Her breath came short and sharp and she had to wait a minute for it to steady. When it did, she wiped the sweat from her brow and threw off her covers. It was getting beyond ridiculous. Honestly! Did he have to invade her dreams as well? She groaned and swung her feet onto the floor, shoving them into a pair of thongs as she decided to visit the loo.

  Rubbing her eyes, Lena staggered out of her donga and headed down the short weedy path to the toilet block, which wasn’t more than a hundred metres away. When she was done, she paused at the sink, cupping her hands under the water and splashing some on her face. The cool sensation freshened her a little and she studied her reflection in the bathroom mirror critically. Her hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail and her colour was pale, making the dark rings around her red eyes all the more prominent. She definitely needed more sleep this week. With a sigh, she left the toilets and headed back to her donga, mentally resolving to go to bed early that night. She put her hand on her doorknob and tried to turn it. It stuck.

  Horror shot through her body like a shard of ice. In desperation, she rattled the handle again. It still didn’t budge.

  Shit.

  I’ve locked myself out.

  Lena let her head rest against the door as she evaluated her situation. She was in her pink cotton pyjamas and thongs. It was chilly and dark and if some roving psycho attacked her now, no one would know about it until it was too late. How could she have been so careless? So stupid! She moved sideways and with trembling fingers tried the window. It was as locked as she expected it to be.

  Useless.

  Sucking in what was supposed to be a calming breath, she turned around. The darkness of the camp engulfed her, intensifying the sound of chirping crickets and croaking frogs. A lizard scurried across the gravel in front of her, like a little flash of black lightning, almost making her yelp with a start. She wasn’t normally afraid of lizards, but at this point nerves had taken over.

  The rows of dongas around her were suddenly looming threats. The toilet block was the only brightly lit building in the area. It shone like a haven, beckoning her. She shivered, rubbing her arms.

  Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!

  If it were possible to kick your own bum, she would have done it. One thing was for sure: she would be wearing the keys to her donga around her neck from now on. Lena glanced down the path at the silent and dark reception building. No hope of help there.

  She shut her eyes. She had at least half an hour to kill before she’d be able to access a spare key back into her room. Half an hour before she would be forced to parade in front of the men in her pyjamas when they all woke up for the day. Her eyes flew open with sudden hope.

  Sharon!

  Maybe her friend would let her wait it out with her.

  Lena looked at the maze of dongas before her. She couldn’t remember Sharon’s new number. And they all looked the same, especially at night. She ground her teeth.

  What was it again?

  B15 or B16?

  Wrapping her arms around herself she hit the weedy path, her feet quickening from fear. It wasn’t long before she reached row B. The two dongas she had guessed were directly opposite each other and she stood between them trying to decide which one to take a punt on.

  Finally she decided to go evens and chose B16. Just to be safe, though, she picked up a medium-sized rock from the gravel path and held it behind her back. Better to have a weapon in case number B16 was not Sharon but a horny guy who thought she was throwing out lures. Chewing on her bottom lip like it was mutton, she tentatively approached the door and knocked.

  There was a moment’s silence before she saw the bedside lamp go on and heard the bed creak. It was still impossible to tell whose donga it was.

  Then the door opened.

  She dropped her rock.

  Dan!

  Sexy, rumpled, half asleep, and fresh from his bed, leaning heavily against the doo
r edge. He had bare legs, bare forearms and bare feet. When you had to wear long-sleeve shirts and pants to work every day for safety reasons, any extra skin exposure was a revelation. And yes, she revelled in it.

  He was silent. The shock had clearly hit him as hard as it had her, but she couldn’t tell for sure because most of his face was in shadow. Suddenly he straightened, advancing and filling the frame with his person.

  ‘Lena.’ Her name hissed from his lips like an accusation.

  ‘Dan.’ If he’d taken the time to notice, he would have heard that her hoarse whisper sounded as incredulous as his, but he was already on some other bandwagon.

  ‘I can’t believe it.’ He looked heavenwards, running a hand through his messy hair. ‘Are you crazy? What do you hope to achieve now?’

  She gaped at him, her hands going immediately to her hips. It was an effort to keep her voice low. ‘You think I did this on purpose?’

  ‘Well, you always did have trouble keeping your nose out of other people’s business.’ His tone was soft but harsh. ‘I’m not one of your pet projects, you know.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Stick with the people who actually want your help.’

  ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’

  He wasn’t listening. ‘If anyone sees you here . . .’ He massaged his temples before he looked at her. ‘They’ll never let it go.’

  ‘No one’s going to –’ He put a finger to her lips as a light opposite and two doors down went on. She held her breath, more due to the effect of his touch than the danger of being exposed.

  As a neighbour’s door began to slowly open, Dan swore under his breath. In the next second, an arm circled her waist and she was scooped into his donga. The door clicked shut, leaving her back flat against the inside of it as he leaned over her, his breath on her cheek. Awareness fizzled down her spine as the confined space of the dimly lit room penetrated her senses.

  ‘Too close,’ he whispered, parting the blind beside the door so that he could peer out. It took her a second to realise he wasn’t talking about their physical proximity but the near miss of being discovered. It was dark and he smelled like man and soap. She wanted to press her body into his, but of course didn’t dare.