Lost Innocence

by Susan Lewis

  ‘I’d forgotten that,’ Alicia laughed, ‘and Mum was too polite to explain that the notes weren’t in use any more.’

  ‘So Dad gave us fifty pence to make up for it.’

  As they sighed and smiled, Alicia went to give him a hug. ‘So what are you doing here?’ she asked, carrying her bucket through to the sink. ‘Aren’t you off to Finland today?’

  ‘I’m leaving in half an hour, so I thought I’d pop over to find out how you’re doing. I’ve just left the Coach House, actually, where I had a little chat with Nat and his girlfriend.’

  ‘Really?’ she said, pleased. ‘So you found them up.’

  ‘Only just, by the look of them.’

  ‘How did he seem to you?’

  ‘Fine, but it wasn’t a good time to try to draw him out on anything. I’ve suggested we get together when I’m back, maybe go for a hike, or over to the county ground for the day. He seemed up for it.’

  ‘He would be if cricket’s involved.’

  He smiled and watched her wringing out a sponge to start again. ‘Mum would be pleased to know you’re opening the place up,’ he told her.

  Her eyes came to his. ‘Thank you for that,’ she said softly.

  ‘My offer still stands, if there’s anything I can do…I know, you don’t want to cause any problems, but if you find yourself running into difficulties…’

  ‘I’ll be sure to let you know,’ she said, certain she wouldn’t. Then, starting to rub down a wall she’d already scraped, ‘So, does Sabrina know you’re here?’

  ‘I told her I was going to drop in before I left,’ he replied. ‘Her magazine goes to print today, so she left the house about an hour ago.’

  Surprised, Alicia said, ‘What magazine?’

  ‘Actually, it’s more of a newsletter, but you didn’t hear that from me. She and June Downey-Marsh started it up a year or so ago to serve the local communities. You know the kind of thing, updates from council meetings; neighbours in the news; what’s on; who’s doing what to whom. They get a bit of advertising from local businesses to help cover their costs. Sometimes they even make a profit.’

  Alicia rinsed out her sponge. ‘How wonderful that she’s found an outlet for her journalistic talents,’ she muttered, trying not to sound sarcastic, and failing.

  Robert slanted her a look.

  She smiled sweetly. They both knew how Sabrina had always exaggerated the short time she’d spent working at the Daily Mail at least two decades ago, when, to hear her tell it, she’d been a star reporter about to be given her own column until she’d made the grandiose mistake of getting married. In reality she’d been a glorified secretary working for the sub-editors, and as far as anyone knew had never actually had anything in print, or certainly not under her own name. ‘So, remind me again how long you’re going to be away,’ she said, deciding to get off the subject of his wife.

  ‘Ten days, and I’d like your promise that war won’t have broken out by the time I get back.’

  ‘Ah,’ she said knowingly, ‘so that’s why you’re here.’

  ‘Only in part. I’m genuinely interested in what you’re doing with the shop, and I wanted to make contact with Nat before I left. How long do you think before you’re ready for business?’

  ‘I’m hoping it’ll be soon so I can try to entice in some summer traffic, but I’m probably being a tad ambitious.’

  He didn’t disagree. ‘Once again, if you need any money…’

  ‘Once again, thank you.’

  He regarded her closely, raising his eyebrows as though waiting for more.

  Reading his mind, she said, ‘Ah, the promise – no war for the next ten days.’

  ‘I’d rather there was no war, full stop.’

  ‘Well, we’re on the same page there, so if it’ll give you peace of mind while you’re away, I promise that if anything happens, I won’t be the one to start it.’

  A wry smile crept across his lips. ‘That’s more or less what Sabrina said,’ he told her, ‘so I’m going to hope that you both keep to your word and remember there’s absolutely nothing to be gained from carrying on this vendetta.’

  * * *

  Craig was standing with his back against the hotel-room door, his arms folded as he gazed at Sabrina. There was a look of amusement, coupled with naked desire, shining in his inky dark eyes. She was stripping like a professional, peeling away her dress, her stockings, then her black lacy bra, rotating her hips, peeking at him over one shoulder, and wrapping herself around the bedpost, as abandoned and provocative as any genuine pole dancer.

  When finally the music on the iPod – Voulez-vous coucher avec moi – came to an end, she turned to blow him a playful Monroe sort of kiss, then gazed wantonly into his eyes.

  ‘I’ve never met anyone like you,’ he told her as the final beats died.

  She smiled. ‘I told you I had a surprise for you,’ she said, sauntering towards him. ‘Did you like it?’ She put a hand between his legs. ‘Mm, yes, you liked it,’ she murmured, and pressing her mouth to his she pushed her tongue deep inside.

  Catching her around the waist, he brought her hard up against him, then bending her back he showered her breasts with urgent, hungry kisses. His hands moved to her buttocks, splaying over the silky flesh, but as he made to lower her panties she stopped him.

  ‘Surprise number two,’ she whispered, and returning to the bed she lay down on her back and opened her legs wide. The panties were crotchless.

  ‘Oh Jesus,’ he murmured, and quickly undressing he went to lie over her, plunging straight into the throbbing heat of her.

  They made love wildly, and cruelly, as she urged him to spank and bite her. He wouldn’t allow her to do the same to him, but the way she responded to the slaps on her breasts and buttocks sent him soaring all too quickly to the point of climax, and beyond.

  She needed to orgasm too, and because he knew it turned her on so much, he stood her in front of the window where any new arrivals at the hotel might see her. Then he dropped to his knees and used his tongue and fingers to take her, gasping and sobbing, to the throes of a magnificent release.

  Later, as they lay together on the bed, still naked and drinking champagne, she gazed adoringly into his eyes as she said, ‘Did I ever tell you that sex with you is the best I’ve ever had?’

  He smiled and touched his lips to hers. ‘Once or twice,’ he replied.

  ‘Is it the same for you?’ she prompted.

  He swallowed some champagne and turned to put his glass down. ‘I can’t get enough of you,’ he told her, gathering her into his arms. ‘I keep thinking it has to end, but then you call, and as soon as I hear your voice I know I have to see you.’

  Happy with the answer, she snuggled more tightly against him. ‘Do you love me?’ she murmured, after a while.

  ‘Yes,’ he said.

  ‘More than her?’

  ‘Don’t ask that. This time is for us, so let’s not spoil it.’

  Raising her head she pressed a kiss to his lips. ‘How long is the trial likely to last?’ she asked, referring to the arson case he was defending at Bristol Crown Court.

  ‘A couple of days.’

  She smiled. ‘So does that mean you’re staying here for a couple of nights?’

  He nodded and laughed as she gave a growl of joy. ‘I take it that means you’ll be staying with me,’ he teased.

  Rolling on to her back she gazed up at the silvery silk canopy overhead, and moaned softly as he began stroking her legs. ‘Of all the hotels we’ve stayed at, I think this is my favourite,’ she decided. ‘I love everything about it, from the deer park as you drive in, to the lovely courtyard where we had cocktails the first time we came, do you remember?’

  ‘Of course,’ he answered, watching her nipples pucker and harden as he touched them.

  ‘To the stuffy old dining room, to this wonderful suite, because this is where we were when you first told me you loved me. Did you know that?’

  He nodded, and brus
hed a hand over her cheek into her hair.

  ‘Don’t you wish we could be together for ever?’ she said, pressing her lips to his palm.

  ‘In another life it might be possible,’ he replied, trailing his fingers back to the join of her legs.

  Opening herself up to him, she said, ‘We can always make another life. You, me and the children. Wouldn’t you like that?’

  ‘Sounds idyllic,’ he murmured.

  They made love again, more languorously and tenderly than before, then after dinner they walked in the grounds, wrapped up against the cold, and beckoned to the deer who watched them with unblinking eyes from the twilit woods at the edge of the park. These stolen, precious moments, when the rest of the world seemed so far away, would always stay with her.

  As they wandered back along the drive they stopped to look up at the window of their room.

  ‘Are you thinking of me standing there, naked?’ she asked.

  ‘Yes,’ he replied, tightening his arm around her. ‘I think of you all the time,’ he said, and tilting her mouth to his, he kissed her with a tenderness that seared straight to her heart.

  Sitting alone in the office, Sabrina put a hand to her chest as though to stem the pain of her loss. June had popped over to her flat a while ago to search for a missing press release, and from the minute she’d stepped out Sabrina had done nothing but think of Craig. She knew it wasn’t wise to dwell on happy memories, because of how wretched they made her feel afterwards, but while she was reliving them the joy and love were so real that it was as though time had turned back and it was happening all over again.

  Now the past had faded, and she was here, in this office, and starting to feel the way she had when they’d first broken up, so desperate to see him that it was as though she couldn’t go on if she didn’t.

  With a sob of anguish she thought of how hard she’d tried to get over him, and of the progress she’d finally started to make. Now, since his death and with Alicia turning up, it was as though she was being sucked right back into that terrible time when her grief had been so agonising that she’d virtually lost her mind.

  It was the middle of the afternoon when Alicia left Nat and Summer sanding paintwork in the shop while she went off to B&Q to pick up a hundred and one DIY supplies. The temperature was rising towards ninety by now, making her feel drowsy as she walked back to the Coach House, but she barely had time for the luxury of a yawn, never mind a siesta, if she was going to make her self-imposed deadline of August 1st.

  As she drove out of the village she happened to check her rear-view mirror and spotted Annabelle and her friend sauntering across the high street towards the shop. There was no telling if they were intending to go in, but Alicia felt certain they were, and was half tempted to go back, if only to add an adult presence to the mix. Suspecting Nat wouldn’t appreciate his mother rushing to his assistance, she sent him and Summer a silent message of moral support instead and drove on. Luckily she’d told him about Annabelle’s phone call this morning, so at least he’d be prepared if she brought it up – what else she might spring on him Alicia guessed she’d find out later.

  Back at the shop, Summer was in the studio foraging for a new piece of sandpaper when she heard voices at the front, and turned to find Nat’s tarty cousin and her equally tarty friend coming in through the door. Summer immediately stiffened, as much with nerves as with dislike, especially of the cousin who’d made no secret yesterday of the fact that she fancied Nat. Not that Summer considered her serious competition: as attractive as she might be, Summer knew that Nat didn’t go for girls who were as obvious as her, or who behaved like slappers, which Annabelle definitely did.

  Wishing she’d put on at least a layer of mascara before coming here, she went to stand in the arch, wanting Annabelle to know she was there. Annabelle, however, was in mid flow talking to Nat, while her friend seemed to be sending someone a text, so for the moment Summer was invisible.

  ‘… so when you didn’t call I thought I’d come over in person,’ Annabelle was saying, twirling a finger round a loose strand of hair, ‘because I know what mothers are like. They always forget to pass on messages.’

  ‘No, Mum told me you rang,’ Nat informed her, ‘but we’ve been busy today.’

  Annabelle swept an admiring look over his bare chest and shoulders. ‘Mm, I can see,’ she commented, apparently unfazed by the put-down. ‘You’re really working up a sweat.’

  Clearly not appreciating her crass attempt at flirtation, but polite to the end, he said, ‘So how are you?’

  ‘Oh, I’m cool,’ she answered, shifting her weight on to her other leg and tossing back her hair. ‘This heat is getting to me a bit though, which is why Theo’s party at the weekend will be so good. Did your mum mention it?’

  ‘She said there was something, but not what, exactly.’

  Annabelle smiled and Summer’s throat turned dry. It was like watching a Venus flytrap preparing to clinch its prey.

  ‘No, well, I couldn’t tell her the details,’ Annabelle murmured, ‘because it’s like a really special kind of party, and I just know you’re going to want to come.’

  Summer’s eyes were boring into Nat’s face, and as he looked at her, both Annabelle and Georgie turned round.

  ‘Oh,’ Annabelle said, as though a bad smell had just turned up, ‘I didn’t realise you were there.’ Her eyes travelled up and down Summer in a way that brought a rush of colour to Summer’s cheeks.

  ‘Thanks for the invite, Annabelle,’ Nat said, ‘but we won’t be able to make it. We’re doing something else on Saturday.’

  Annabelle turned back again. ‘But you haven’t heard what kind of party it is yet,’ she reminded him, ‘and I honestly don’t think you’ll want to miss out when you do.’

  ‘Whatever it is, like I just said, we’re doing something else that night.’

  Annabelle stole a quick glance back at Summer. ‘You can bring your girlfriend, if you like,’ she said. ‘I’m sure Theo won’t mind.’

  Nat’s eyes returned to Summer. She was praying he wouldn’t admit that she wasn’t going to be here, because as soon as he did she knew the Venus jaws would snap shut.

  ‘Once again,’ he said to Annabelle, ‘we’re not free.’

  ‘It’s a topless party around the pool,’ she informed him, delivering a smouldering look straight into his eyes. ‘It could be like when we used to play draughts, only better.’

  As Nat flushed, and Georgie giggled, Summer said, ‘I don’t mean to be rude, Annabelle, but I think Nat’s given you an answer, and we’ve a lot to do here, so if you don’t mind…’

  Annabelle slanted her the kind of look that was meant to make Summer feel small, and irrelevant, and it worked. Then, turning back to Nat as though Summer had vanished in a dust cloud, she said, ‘You do remember when we used to play draughts, don’t you? Whoever lost a piece had to take something off, until neither of us had anything on and then …’

  ‘That was a long time ago,’ he cut in abruptly. ‘We were kids. It was just a game.’

  She shrugged. ‘We used to play it a lot though, didn’t we? You’d get hold of my hand and put it on your thing…’

  ‘Annabelle, will you just leave,’ Summer interrupted. ‘We’re not going to the party, Nat’s grown up now, and you need to do the same.’

  Annabelle’s nostrils flared. No one ever spoke to her like that and got away with it, least of all some smutty-faced, vertically-challenged ginger with white eyelashes and freckles. ‘What was your name again?’ she sneered.

  Summer’s eyes flicked to Nat. ‘Summer,’ she answered, already tensing for the tongue-lashing of her life, and hoping Nat would step in to stop it.

  However, for all her eye-blazing and pumped-up fury, Annabelle wasn’t sufficiently seasoned to deliver the knockout blow when it was needed. So all she managed was a tart, ‘OK, Georgie, we’re done here,’ and turning on an expensive wooden heel, she swept back her hair and stalked out of the shop.

 
‘Phew!’ Nat sighed as soon as they’d gone. ‘She is such a piece of work.’

  ‘If she actually had a brain she’d be lethal,’ Summer snorted. ‘What were you thinking, ever getting involved with her?’

  ‘I said, we were kids. It was just a bit of fun and we weren’t involved.’

  ‘Well that’s not how she made it sound, stripping off together…’

  ‘Summer, don’t do this,’ he interrupted. ‘It’s what she wanted, to try and cause trouble, so don’t give her the satisfaction.’

  Still angry, but seeing the sense of what he was saying, she turned back into the studio.

  Following her in, he put his arms around her and looked into her eyes. ‘You don’t have anything to worry about as far as she’s concerned,’ he told her softly. ‘She didn’t mean anything me to then, and she sure as hell doesn’t now.’

  ‘But what’s she going to be like once I’ve gone?’ she protested. ‘That’s what’s worrying me.’

  ‘It doesn’t matter what she’s like. I won’t be having anything to do with her, so it’s not an issue.’ He kissed her gently. ‘I swear, by the time we see one another again, we probably won’t even remember her name,’ he said.

  ‘That’s not fair,’ Annabelle grumbled. ‘You always win. Are you sure you didn’t cheat?’

  Nat grinned. ‘Totally,’ he replied, pushing the draught board aside. ‘So, you know what happens now.’

  She giggled, and yelped as his fingers closed around her wrist.

  ‘Ssh,’ he warned. ‘You locked the door, didn’t you?’

  ‘Of course.’ She was starting to look anxious.

  ‘You don’t have to be afraid,’ he told her. ‘I won’t hurt you.’

  She giggled again, then moved along as he came to sit next to her.

  ‘Here,’ he said, taking her hand.

  Letting him guide her fingers, she wrapped them around him and held her breath.